a/n I recently watched Valentine's Day for the first time and became obsessed with Sean/Holden. This is the first of two installments. Enjoy.

-Sean-

Sean Jackson couldn't stand it anymore. He had to get out of the house. He went for a run on the beach, trying to out run his thoughts. Reality came back to bite him in the ass as he got out of the shower.

Holden had left him. The fucking toothbrush reminded Sean when he saw it there, resting in a glass on the counter. He couldn't help but remember the last conversation he had with Holden…
"This is fucking crazy! I can't live like this anymore!" Holden yelled, throwing his items into an open suitcase.
"Holden! Come on! Don't do this!" Sean all but begged.
"No. I will not be your little secret anymore. I'm done. We're through." He closed his suitcase, zipped it aggressively, and headed for the door. "I'll be back for the rest of my stuff…later." With that, Holden walked out of Sean's life.

Sean could help but hope Holden would come back later that day, but he didn't.

It was now Valentine's Day and all of the gooey romance on the radio was killing him. When he saw the toothbrush, that toothbrush…his toothbrush…he couldn't take it anymore. He picked it up and tossed it into the nearby trashcan. He was a mess. His life seemed pointless. For one foolish second he thought he could move on after Holden left. After all, he had a life before Holden and surely, he could have one after? Apparently not. Even his football career was a disaster. His contract was up and the last game he played was a fucking joke. Everyone was saying he should retire, but he couldn't. Football was his passion. He had quickly grown to love the fancy cars and nice houses, but they were just perks. Now none of that shit could cheer him up. It surprised him how empty and lonely the house seemed now. He pulled on his underwear and buttoned his jeans. He needed some air.

His neighbors were doing yoga on the beach and invited him over for a swim, again. He had to shake his head and chuckle. They had no idea. He couldn't help but joke with them before he politely excused himself, saying he had to make a call, which was true. He walked away from the balcony, pulled out his phone, and called his publicist Kara Monahan. The last ESPN report and set him on edge. He knew he needed to make a decision. Retire or become a free agent? She answered, out of breath, on the fourth ring.
"Yeah! Hello?" she asked, rushed.
"Kara it's Sean." He replied.
"Hi! Hi, what's going on? What's going on?"
"Media blitz on my career has begun."
"Yes, I know." Her voice was less frantic now, he had obviously interrupted something, "Are you okay?" What a silly question.
"'Course I'm okay. It comes with the territory. What I'd love is my highly paid publicist to take care of it."
"I'm on it. I've got my people standing by and a press release ready to go. What else d'you need?"
"I got a meeting with my agent today. I want you to meet me there in about an hour. You'll be there?" he paused, waiting for her to respond. "Hello? Hello? Did I lose you? Malibu, you pay a fortune to be here and get crappy cellphone reception."
"No, no, I'm here. I'm here. I'll be at the meeting."
"Outstanding." With that, he hung up.

~.~.~

"Spoke with the GM, they passed," announced his manager Paula Thomas after she got off the phone.
"Passed?" He repeated, "We got to the playoffs. It was all me." Some thanks!
"They decided to go another way. They're chasing after that kid from Alabama."
"I'm working on a press release, saying it's a mutual parting." Piped up Kara, typing madly on her phone.
"So now what?" he asked. She shrugged and sucked some food off her thumb.
"Well we uhm… we look for another team."
"I don't know, maybe I'm done." He said, feeling defeated.
"You're not done." Kara insisted.
"Absolutely not," Paula said, firmly, "and I'm not speaking as someone who makes a lot of money off you. I'm speaking as a fan. And right now you can still make a ton of money doing what you love!"
"But the problem is Paul, it's not the only thing I want out of life," or love… like Holden for instance…, "A relationship…kids."
"Well…you can still have that and play football."
"Look," he said, appreciating her effort, "I'm not complaining, I've been lucky, but-"
"What is he telling me?" Paula asked, addressing Kara, "What are we going to do?"
"I think we should take a beat and uhm… let Sean think about what he wants. Right?"
"Right," he agreed, looking back to Paula for her thoughts.
"We have no time for thinking." Paula said getting up. Shit.

The meeting hadn't really hadn't been very productive. Mike and Mike were on the radio as he drove. They were the self-proclaimed "America's Number One sports talk show" and he was the "news of the hour." Then Mike made a stupid quip about how he should check out Craigslist and "see who's hiring." Asshole he thought. Just then, Sean looked up and had to slam on his breaks. Some pink delivery van had stopped in front of him. Dammit. He got out of the car, running his hand through his hair.
"Oh man, you see this! You did this. You're going to pay for this." Said the guy who came out of the truck. He was Latino and wore a pink sweatshirt and hat.
"Easy big fella, I know it was my fault." He dug out his wallet for a business card. "Just call my business manager. He's got all of my information." He handed the man his card.
"Right," the guy said, disbelieving, "and I'll have my business manager call your business manager, okay?" The guy finally glanced up at Sean and recognized him. "Oh! Sean Jackson!" he then touched his neck, "Oh, man my neck! My back!" What!? "My chest!" The guy's face broke into a grin. "I'm just kidding. Whoa, dude would just sign my hat?" He handed Sean his hat and a marker while he listed Sean's stats. "And they think you should hang it up. That's gratitude for you."
"Oh well thanks buddy." He smiled slightly, it was nice to know somebody was on his side, "But that door is pretty messed up. Do you got another truck?"
"Yeah, but I'm already behind, Valentine's Day kind of a big day for flower lines.
"I don't know why people get flowers delivered when you could just buy them and give them yourself."
"Some folks like to get flowers delivered at their workshop. For some people love doesn't exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people."
"Huh," he muttered. Holy shit. He had told Holden he loved him, hadn't he? Yes, he definitely did… maybe once. He just figured Holden knew. But it finally made sense. Maybe he didn't know. Maybe Holden left because their love wasn't acknowledged by others…
"You're a super star Sean." The flower guy said, interrupting Sean's thoughts. "Drive better." Sean snorted, turned, and whipped out his phone. The number was on speed dial and thankfully she picked up on the first ring, before he lost his nerve.
"Hey, Kara, it's me. I know what I want to do, I think." He got into his car and drove. He needed to hold a press conference.

"May I have your attention please?" Kara announced once everyone was gathered. They were on a roof near the harbor for the announcement. "I am Sean's publicist and recently there has been a lot of speculation about his future. And rather than keeping you all in suspense he will make a brief statement at this time." He took a deep breath and walked up onto the podium, behind the microphones.
"First off, I'd like to thank everyone for coming, I know it's Valentine's Day and you might have other plans so I'll be quick," he began, "the cliché when someone is retiring who doesn't want to retire is to say that it is because they want to spend more time with their family. I don't have a family and well with everything football has given me… the biggest thing it's taken away is that," If he had some normal-person job he wouldn't be in this shitty situation with Holden. "Because of who I am, because of my job, I haven't been able to live the life that I want to. With that in mind I'll just say the thing I came here to say…" He took one last breath. Now or never. "I'm gay." There was a general gasp from the crowd (of mostly male reporters). "Any questions? And be cool. I'm not above kicking anybody's ass." Kara intervened to ask for the first question.
"Kelvin Moore, KBLA." She said and then stepped back.
"Sean I'm confused here," Kelvin said, "are you saying you're retiring?"
"Oh, right that," he chuckled, "Nah, Kelvin, I'm not retiring. I'm gay and I'm going to play."

~Meanwhile on a plane miles up in the air~

-Holden-

He had been enjoying the long flight next to Captain Kate Hazeltine. She was nice, smart, and quite the romantic, taking a fourteen-hour flight for one night with some guy (now that was commitment). Earlier she fell asleep against his shoulder, but he didn't mind. It was nice to feel needed. When she woke up and they laughed, talked, and played "a tactful game of just reading your opponent" (according to the Captain who repeatedly beat him).

Now she had left to change out of her military uniform. When she came back, she wore a casual long sleeve shirt and a sweater. An uncomfortable silence fell upon her return. He could tell something was on her mind.
"What's up?" he asked.
"Why do you hate heart shaped candy?" the Captain asked. Earlier in the flight, she had analyzed his subtle hints, telling him how what he did told her about him. She made a few guesses about why he disliked the lollypop, but obviously she wanted to know more.
"I think because it reminds me that it's Valentine's Day and…I'm recently single. We just, we weren't on the same page, it's okay. It's over." He was trying to convince himself as much as her.
"Nothing to be done?" she asked, picking up on his trouble. No, sadly not, he knew where the problems lied.
"No. No, I've seen the enemy and the enemy is me." It was his fault for getting too attached, falling in love with a man who didn't want to be seen in public with him.
"Well you could go for the stewardess," Holden had to smile. Kate really had no idea. "She seems to like you."
"I think she likes everybody, that's her job."
"She looks over at you every five seconds."
"No." he scoffed.
"Ready? Five…four…three…"
"Do you want to bet on it?" he asked and she paused.
"I'll bet you a bag of pretzels."
"Okay,"
"Five…four…three…two…one." Sure enough, the stewardess glanced their direction. "Uh-huh, there it is."
"That was a coincidence."
"Five…four" he tried to shush her, but she kept counting down, "…three-" Captain quickly looked away, "oh, she did it on three. She's coming over here." Sure enough.
"Can I get you anything?" the stewardess asked, looking at him expectantly. He tried to cover his smile with his hand and suppress his laughter.
"A bag of pretzels please," chimed the Captain.
"Two, actually," he added as the stewardess walked away. The Captain laughed.

After walking off the plane and into the airport, they turned to say their goodbyes.
"Hey have a great trip." He said.
"Thanks, nice meeting you." she replied and headed for the baggage claim. He went the other direction, walking towards the exit until he saw his driver Redmond.
"Hey, Redmond." He greeted, smiling at the familiar face.
"Welcome back Mr. Wilson," Redmond greeted.
"Wait long?"
"Not long at all. Check any bags?"
"No," Holden said distractedly, looking for Captain. She was talking to a baggage claim woman. What was she doing? Her time was precious. He walked up to her.
"Can I help you Captain?" he asked as he tugged her bag off the carousel.
"Thank you."
"You okay?"
"No I'm fine, it's just the super shuttle is going to take nine stops to get to my house, so I thought I'd pay extra for a cab, but I go down there and the line's two miles long and now I'm heading to the rental car place."
"It's going to take an hour to get there by shuttle. I'm going to help" He didn't need to be anywhere anytime soon, she did.
"Really?"
"Yeah, I have a car."
"I live in the valley,"
"No, no, I want you to have it. You traveled so far for a few hours. I think you should spend every possible second with this guy. It's already paid for." He turned and hefted her bag onto the cart Redmond conveniently had waiting. "Redmond will take you wherever you need to go, just give him the address."
"Thank you," she hugged him, smiling, her expression lit with gratitude.
"He's a lucky man." She turned back and kissed him on the cheek.
"Bye." He called after her.

She deserved the car much more than he did. All he had to do was call a car service. It had been a while since he needed to do so; Redmond had always driven him anywhere he wanted. He hung up with the service and looked around for a place to wait. There was a bar and grill in the airport so he thought he'd get a quick drink.

As he waited for his beer, he glanced up at one of the many televisions. Kelvin Moore was on. The volume was down, but the closed captions were on. Holden read:
"Quarterback sensation Sean Jackson has popped the lock on the closet and has come out. What does this mean-"
"No fucking way!" he exclaimed in disbelief.
"Problem sir?" asked the bartender, placing the drink in front of him. Holden tore his eyes away from the screen and tried to compose himself.
"No, no problem. I'm good." He had to get out of the airport. He had to get to Sean's. "Uh, what do I owe you?" he asked, standing up and digging for his wallet.
"But you haven't even had any."
"Yeah, I know, sorry. I gotta go, though."
"On the house. It's nothing, just go." The bartender said, making a shooing motion with his hands.
"Thank you!" Holden called back over his shoulder as he all but ran out.

He waited impatiently for the car to arrive. The fancy black car pulled up and he got in.
"Where to, Sir?" asked the middle-aged male driver. He told him Sean's address. "Very good, Sir." And the car pulled away.
"Uh actually," Holden said, making a snap decision, "I need some flowers first. Do you know of a place along the way?"
"Indeed I do, Sir. I heard about it on the television this morning. Should still be open."
"Good. Thank you." he sat back against the fine leather, trying not to get too excited. He hardly dared to hope that the announcement meant Sean wanted him back. Why else would he come out on national television though?

As the car pulled up to the curb a man was walking out of the flower shop, turning to lock the door. Holden jumped out of the car and ran across the road.
"Excuse me," he called out and the man turned to him, "Do you have anything left?" his hope was already dwindling. The guy smiled.
"Yeah, man. I have some pretty nice leftovers in the van…" the guy gestured to the pink van idling by the sidewalk.
"Uh, sure!" Holden was desperate.
"Anything in particular?" the guy asked, opening the back door to the van. There were too many options.
"Uhm…" he didn't think it would be this difficult, "Something hopeful." Was that a stupid thing to say? Apparently, the flower guy didn't think so.
"'Hopeful,'" he repeated to himself and reached in for a small group of yellow flowers, "I'd have to recommend daffodils then. They typically bloom in late winter or early spring, so they're a symbol of rebirth, new beginnings, and all that stuff. Sound okay?"
"Perfect!" Holden smiled and the man handed him the flowers, "What do I owe you?"
"Nothing, man. Keep 'em. I was just going to toss them anyways." Holden could hardly believe it. "Happy Valentine's Day!" The guy smiled as he walked around the van and hopped in.
"Yeah, same to you. Thanks!" Holden called after him. He glanced down at the flowers. They might have just become his favorite variety.

a/n Hoped you liked Part 1