"Blair!", he shouted.
She could feel her hands shaking as she turned around to see him one more time.
And there he was, standing perfectly at the exact same spot. He hadn't moved. And now she wasn't either.
It was like a long gaze at each other. The look in his eyes told her he wanted something. And though she was standing far away from him, she could feel him breathe. Slowly and heavy. Again and again.
Oh, she wanted to just run to him and jump in his arms. Tell him to not let go of her. To hold her tight in his arms like a child and tell her that everything was going to be okay.
To forgive her.
"Stay for tonight. Stay with me."
And that was the last night they spent together.
It was like the sun was standing 5 inches away from her, burning her face. There was no wind, none. It was as if she was slowly melting away. But it felt good. This was all she needed.
For today.
"Will you stop loving me tomorrow?" She had turned around to face him. He was holding his arms tight around her as they lay in the bed. Just like she wanted it.
"I could never stop loving you."
And that was the last night they spent together.
Something told her that this summer would be different. Something, or everything, would change. Nothing would ever be the same. Never without him.
"Blair!"
She shook her legs as if fear was reaching her. The sunglasses fell of her face and onto the floor as if her brain was telling her something. She slowly then reached down to pick them up.
Poor sunglasses.
"Blair!!" She sighed heavily. "I'm coming, I'm COMING!" Damn, her mother truly had no patient.
How would she possibly now survive the whole summer without being able to scream her daughter's name all over the apartment? Poor mother.
The taxi was waiting for her outside. It was a red one. Hum, she had never rode one of those. It was as if the whole day had turned.
"The bag.." The man looked down at her. "Bags, Miss?" She reached him them as she stepped inside of the taxi. There was no turning back now.
Even the airport felt different. Something about that told her that she did not belong here. No, she wasn't supposed to be here. But supposing was not reality. This was.
"Did you kiss him?" She looked at him, not saying anything.
"Did you sleep with him?" Nothing again. But he already knew the truth. The look in her eyes had told him that.
And he was being aware of it. Very. His eyes had slowly faded away. They had gotten teary. And then he took one step back, away from her. As if he was afraid of her.
As if that space between them now was nothing but dead hope.
Reality was ugly. Very ugly.
But maybe spending the summer in a different country would be good for her. France with her father could never be wrong.
At least she wouldn't be close to Chuck to think of him everyday. Well, half true.
Her father was looking cautiously at her.
Her eyes were glued to the air. They weren't moving even a bit. "Blair Bear?", he said softly looking worried at her.
"I just realized… " Her father watched at her as she had stopped in the middle of her sentence.
It was as if she was searching for the words. "That I can gaze for a very long time without blinking."
He smiled at her. "Impressive." Finally she could move her eyes and took a look at him. That's when she started laughing.
"I'm sorry…", she said laughing. Then she closed her eyes. "You're still thinking about him, aren't you?"
Was it even a question?
"Every day."
Her father knew. Oh, he knew it well. She had told him the whole truth. That's what she had planned too. And he did not judge. Nothing. And that's what she knew of too.
"Mademoiselle?"
It was a magical night. There were fireworks everywhere and people were dancing. She was standing there watching all of them, and actually smiling. For the first time, in a long time, she had smiled. People were happy here. It was nights like this that people were happy. It was like whole Paris was shining up, and not just because of those fireworks. Blair closed her eyes.
"Excuse me, Mademoiselle? You okay?" She hadn't heard anything the last time. But now she did, and that's when she turned around to see a young man standing behind her. Smiling. "You seem lost?"
He had an accent. Not a strong one though. His english was rather pretty good. But she could tell he was from here. Definitely. His looks definitely appeared that.
"No..uhh..", she stuttered. "Care to dance?"
Blair gazed at him. "What?" "With me." Now it was as if her tongue was stuck and couldn't spell a word. "Care to dance with me?", he then asked her again.
Finally she could speak. "No…uh, I'm sorry but…" And that's when he took her around her arm and dragged her on to the dance floor.
"Don't be such a coward.", he said as he pressed his body tight around hers. Intimate, very intimate. Almost uncomfortable. And then it happened.
His lips touched hers as he slowly kissed her. Tender. "You're very beautiful. I couldn't help myself.", he said. Blair's mind was going all over the place.
What was happening? Why was this happening? She then pulled herself away from him. Fast, very fast.
"No..", she said. "You don't even know me." And she ran from there.
Not did she stop until she found a phone booth. She then searched through her purse for coins as a crazy person that she even started sweating. Panic, anxiety… so much anxiety.
Answering machine. He wasn't home. Fine, she didn't mind. She would speak anyway.
"Chuck? It's me, Blair. Blair, remember me? Well, of course you do. Or you don't. I don't know and I honestly don't care. Because you've probably already moved on.
But I, I… I can't. Not without you.
This is not working. I, I can't do this. Fact is that I'm not over you. And as it looks right now, I probably never will be either. And that's, that's…very frustrating. I'm so in love with you that it's not even funny. And…"
A lady started talking in French. Which Blair didn't understand. She hadn't taken French classes.
After seconds of confusion, this voice started talking in english.
"Please put in 3 coins so the message can come through."
Blair hung up the phone.
Every night in Paris would remind her of her past. Of Chuck and all their wild nights together. Not even Paris would compare anything to that.
She missed him that much. Oh god did she miss him.
She had come back one week earlier. Her father and Roman were going to Nice for vacation, as they asked Blair to tag along. But she did not feel like it.
She honestly just wanted to go home.
She arrived very early in the morning and decided to head to Serena. She still had stuff left there while she was practically living at theirs just a few months ago.
And she didn't even care weather Chuck was there or not.
But he was.
"Blair?" She turned around the second she had heard his voice. And there he was standing. Messy hair, eyes half shut, and pajamas. Barley woken up. It was early, indeed.
It would remind her of all those mornings with him. Waking up in his arms, feelings him warmth.
"Hi..", she finally spoke to him. And then there was a moment. They would just stare at each other.
"I…." "You're home.", he said. "Yes.", she answered him quickly, smiling at him. Blair took a deep breath. This was going nowhere. "And now I'm here to get my stuff that…"
"Yeah, sure.", he said. And he smiled, he smiled at her. It made her blood go. She loved that smile.
One night would soon change everything though.
Blair had woken up from stomach ace. And not that kind of where I'd hurt a little and then be over.
This would be a pain of her having to reach for her stomach and hold it so it wouldn't explode.
And then she would find blood all over the bathroom floor.