Congratulations!
You are now the owner of a fully automated Hotch unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your professional profiler, please pay close attention to the following instructions.
Basic Information:
Name: Aaron Hotchner
Date Of Manufacture: Year of 1962 (trust me)
Place Of Manufacture: C&M, Virginia
Height: Around 6'2"
Weight: Unknown
Your Hotch unit will come with the following accessories:
Two suits
Two casual outfits
Two pairs of shoes
2 loaded guns
FBI badge
Black Shades
When you first open your Hotch unit, he may be quiet and stiff. Show him your place and he shall lighten up. A bit.
Cleaning: The Hotch unit is fully capable of cleaning himself and will keep the house semi-clean for you.
Programming:
Your Hotch unit is stern and protective, and can carry out the following functions:
Bodyguard: From the perverted co-worker to the pick pocketing male jogger in hot shorts your unit will protect you from any who want to cause you harm.
Profiler: As his normal occupation is working as a FBI profiler, Hotch is able to identify who is sending you love notes to who is stealing your mail.
Date: He's tall, dark and handsome. If you talk him into it, you will be the spotlight of the party with this fine gentleman on your arm.
Mentor: Hotch is a great motivator and a good person to look to. His past gives him an insight to the dark side and he doesn't judge, making him a good person to talk to.
Your Hotch unit comes with six different modes:
Protector
Laid back
Profiler
Annoyed
Family Man
Enraged
The default protector mode is activated when other units, his friends or family members are hurt, scared and endanger. This mode can be activated anytime and anywhere.
The laid back mode is activated whenever Hotch is with other units in a friendly setting like a restaurant, bar or outing. He will laugh, crack jokes and smile more.
Family Man is activated when Hotch is around family or those he perceives as family. He will watch movies, read books, joke around, nap, visit the park and enjoy peaceful company.
The annoyed mode is activated when Morgan, Spencer, Garcia and Prentiss units put them selves in danger, fooling around, looses focus or become out of control.
The profiler mode is activated when Hotch is on a case or trying to solve a mystery when one is in danger.
The Hotch unit is enraged when faced with a George Foyet unit. Leaving them alone can result in a injured unit for either parties.
Reaction to other units:
Spencer Reid: This unit is a friend to the Hotch Unit and looks up to him. The Spencer Unit often rants causing him to stop him but they get on fine.
Derek Morgan: This unit is a good friend, but he will occasionally annoy Hotch with his one-man-alone complex but everything is straightened out in time.
Jason Gideon: This unit is a figure Hotch units look up to and is Gideon second hand man.
Elle Greenaway: These units are friends but things get tense after Elle gets shot by the Fisher King and kills a unsub. Don't leave them in a room alone for to long.
David Rossi: This unit is a friend, and is admired by the Hotch unit. Rossi may occasionally annoy him but they'll get over it and they work well together.
Emily Prentiss: These units are friends but the Prentiss unit sometimes profiles the Hotch unit but there is no harm between them.
JJ: This unit is good friends with your unit. He will grow to lightly depend on JJ but everything will be all right.
Penelope Garcia: She is one of the Hotch unit's friends and he depends on her optimism to get him through the job. No harm in leaving them together.
Haley Hotchner: This unit is the Hotch unit's ex-wife. Things are pretty tense so don't leave them together for long.
Jack Hotchner: Jack is the Hotch units main concern. He loves the little unit and would do anything to protect them. There is no harm leaving them alone.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: My Hotch unit is more tense then and keeping signing every five minutes. What is his problem?
A: He must have had a fight with a Haley unit somewhere. Give him lots of ice cream, space and a few shots of whiskey. Also be in a good mode to listen.
Q: My unit just disappeared for five days and now he is bloody, bandaged, and bound to bed and neither of us are happy about it. What injured him so bad?
A: He must have been attacked by a limited edition Reaper. Keep him in bed, well fed and as stress free as possible (if that's possible). He shall recover in a few weeks so just be patient and supportive.
Q: Hotch is slighty upset and have been hanging around this older unit who carries this black book. Who is he?
A: A Gideon unit must have left and been replaced with a Rossi unit. All of you will go thru some rough patches but it will be all right.
Q: I got a Haley and Jack units for my birthday and I really love the little unit. The Haley is very annoying and I want to get rid her but Hotch won't let me. How do I get rid of her but keep Hotch from hating me?
A: When Hotch is at work you can lure Haley into a box and send her back. Or you can rent a George Foyet unit when she is home alone; just don't let Hotch find out.
Q: Hotch got me carting around his kid. Where did he get a kid? And how do I get stuck babysitting Jack when he is working?
A: A Haley unit must have died. You have to keep the kid cause Hotch won't let you send him back. Why would you get rid of Jack anyway? If you are angry make him pay you for the days you babysat.
Warranty: With proper care, the Hotch unit will grow old and eventually die, unless a unsub or accident kills him. However, if you get annoyed with the dark protector, you can always send him back to our company for a full refund (within 12 months of purchase).