Her
Leroy Jethro Gibbs sat as his desk drinking a now cold cup of coffee. His gaze slowly turned to her desk. It would always be her desk. It did not matter that Ziva David now was the main occupant of her desk. Gibbs would swear under oath that in the rare moments he stood behind Ziva sitting in her chair, that he could smell her perfume. That it would be her soft gaze looking up at him. He'd hear her soft voice answering his questions. It always made him catch his breath when her memory drifted into his mind.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs was leading his team down a dark cold alley. They had no idea what awaited for them at the end of that narrowing road. When their perp jumped out from behind a garbage bin and took a swing at Ziva, with Tony close behind the take down went smoothly from there. But as Gibbs took one look at Ziva and saw her busted lip all he could think of was her. What if it had been her? He wondered if he would have chased the perp himself and given him a good swing back, for her. Or would he have run to her first to see if she was ok. Woulda, coulda's bounced in his head as he drove back to The Navy Yard. He shook his head as he was greeted by the bitter cold as if it was a wake up that woulda, coulda didn't matter because she wasn't Ziva. She wasn't here.
As the team finished up their paperwork and began to get restless, ready to go home. Gibbs put them out of their misery and said they could go home. It was the moment he knew was coming the moment he'd call Ziva by her name. Tony was playfully bantering with Ziva about her nonexistent love life and Ziva was casually shooing him away when without hesitation, without even thinking Gibbs snapped at Tony, "DiNozzo if you don't leave Kate alone, I'll personally throw your butt out of this building." Gibbs knew as soon as the room went completely silent that he called Ziva by her name. He couldn't bring himself to lift his head to meet his team's stares but was grateful when they quietly left.
Gibbs took his time finishing his After Action Report and sat alone in the dark quite of the bullpen. As he gathered his belongings and walked around his desk, instead of walking towards the elevator he walked around to her desk. He sat down in her chair. Again he swore he could smell her perfume. Swore he could hear her laugh. With a deep sigh of grief Gibbs made the walk to the elevator and the long drive to his dark, empty house.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs worked through the night on his boat. He made great progress and was satisfied with what he had accomplished throughout the night. He made his way upstairs for a long hot shower and found himself lying on his bed, their bed. The bed he hadn't even as so much gave a passing glance since she was brutally taken away from him. He never took the sheets off, never made the bed. He couldn't believe that after all this time the sheets and pillows still smelled of her flowery perfume and her strawberry shampoo. Her strawberry shampoo bottles were still in the shower caddy. Her perfume and lotions still filled a bamboo basket on her side of the double sink. He laid there in their bed, not daring to move. Scared to move to breath, for fear that the feeling of her embrace would be lost. His body shivered once and a couple of tears escaped his heavy eyes as he thought she was so much more then a memory.