His Only Reason To Go Back In Time…
Disclaimer: Glee and its delightful characters belong to Ryan and the people at Fox.
A/N: This may not have a point. But I like it. *shrugs* If you do too (or even if you don't), reviews would be awesome.
!
He woke up with an agonized groan, glaring at the 7:00 am mocking him from his alarm clock's display like it was his most mortal enemy.
Despite having a girlfriend who, for reasons he would never completely understand, believed in wishing him a good morning in, well, the actual morning, Finn Hudson was still not good at, or fond of, early rising. And he enjoyed talking to (read: listening to) Rachel a hell of a lot more than football practice, so, he really resented getting up right now.
Make no mistake, he loves football. Which explains why, as a guy who even most teachers dismiss (with pity) as an idiot, he's able to memorize plays and analyze opponents quickly and (sometimes) effectively. Rachel once explained it's easier to learn and retain things when you are passionate about them, so he guesses he's pretty passionate about football.
But two-a-day practices? In the middle of July? The first one starting at 7:45 am? He's less passionate about those particular parts of football.
He pulled his body out of bed with another displeased growl and began shuffling around, begrudgingly, to inhale a quick breakfast and tiredly grab all his gear. As he slowly gained wakeful lucidity (a word he'd recently learned, thanks to Rachel) his increasing dread for the coming practice became about much more than just having to get up.
He was disappointed over what he knew would be a significant lack of time with Rachel for the rest of the summer. They'd seen eachother near constantly right after school got out, but she'd been at theater camp for the last week, and had gone to New York with her dads for two weeks before that. And now that she'd finally be returning to Lima, he was going to be spending so many exhausting hours on the football field, and pretty much the rest of his time sleeping (and eating) just to try and keep up. They'd talked about it, and he knew she understood. But while it was a relief to know she wouldn't be mad, that didn't change the fact that he was going to flat out miss her.
And, he was also less than thrilled when he considered most of his teammates. So much had changed since the start of last season. The teammates who he would have once, naively, described as his closest friends, no longer saw him as one of them. And he knew they weren't wrong. All they really thought about was bullying and partying and cheerios, and he just wasn't that guy anymore. In fact, he liked to think he never really had been, and now was just finally brave enough to admit it. But knowing that he was better off, even knowing that he was better, didn't make it fun to not fit in.
But mostly, as he drove (rather slowly since mail was often delivered in his new neighborhood pretty early) toward the school, he realized the worst part of this was going to be seeing Puck. They'd played both basketball and baseball together, of course, after everything exploded last year, but football had always been kind of their thing. They were eight years old when they met, and it had been matching Cleveland Browns folders that had sparked their initial bond.
Last year's season had seen their friendship strain. Glee had put a larger wedge between them than they'd ever had to overcome before, and Finn realized now how frustrated Puck had seemed to be with him throughout the baby drama. But, push come to shove, he had never thrown a single pass without Noah Puckerman as his best friend. He'd never played a football game where he didn't believe that Puck, both on and off the field, had his back. And now (though things had gotten better at the end of last year than he'd originally ever thought they could), the truth was still that he hadn't spoken to Puck all summer and had absolutely no idea what to expect when he saw him. And he felt the loss of their friendship in the pit of his stomach like a hunger pain.
Sighing as he pulled into the lot, he was relieved to notice Kurt's car there as well. His almost-step-brother had spent the night before at Mercedes', hoping to load up on some estrogen before "mingling with the barbarians," as he liked to put it. Finn was amazed at how glad he was that he'd managed to talk Kurt (who'd initially just laughed, then adamantly refused) into taking a break from the Cheerios to kick again this year. He suspected Burt's enthusiasm over the issue had much to do with Kurt's agreement, but regardless as to why, Finn was happy to have a friend on the team. Even if the friend was the only guy on the team more hated than he was.
He made his way into the locker room and instantly felt increased unease. The quiet joking of a few of the players stopped as soon as he walked in, as the offensive line (who, as part of their job description mind you, are supposed to protect him) paused to glare at him in disgust. Kurt rolled his eyes at the obvious tension, and offered Finn a small smile before heading out to the field. Puck nodded at him in acknowledgement, but quickly turned back to wrapping his ankle without a word.
As quickly and quietly as possible, while avoiding eye contact with everyone else in the room, Finn got ready for the sport he loved... like a man about to march out before a firing squad.
Yeah, this year was going to be different all right.
!
Finn felt like a dead man walking. That practice had been, in one word, brutal. Coach Beiste walked out on the field and Finn had only a single moment to hope that Coach Tanaka was okay (he didn't know much about nerves, but he didn't think it was a good thing when they were broken), and to be shocked that a woman would be leading their team this year, for as soon as she began to speak, he was too busy being terrified to do anything else.
He took comfort in the fact that all the other guys had looked just as scared. Even Kurt, who was usually much better with girls. And as she pushed them through the most grueling three and a half hours of conditioning he'd ever experienced, Finn's train of thought had mostly consisted of "Run faster," and, "Do better," and, "Please, God, don't let her yell at me."
He'd survived it all, somehow, and was actually somewhat grateful for the torturous practice, as the other guys seemed too worn out to hassle him as they winced their way towards the showers.
When he began to pack up he saw Puck approach his locker (still right next to his own) and thought about how if this was last year, the shorter boy would undoubtedly be profanely commenting on what they'd just endured, sharing in the misery together. But, since it was this year, Puck didn't spare him a glance as he silently continued his post-practice routine.
Suddenly, more than the pain in his shins or the ache in his back, Finn felt a sharp twinge in his chest. He was starting to believe that it didn't have to be this way between them. And more importantly, that he didn't want it to be.
So, awkwardly but with determination, Finn did something he hadn't really done in 7 months...he turned to Noah Puckerman and smiled. "Was it just me, or did that suck more than any other practice? Ever?"
He watched as Puck looked to him quickly and with unmasked surprise, before regaining an indifferent expression. Nodding a little uncomfortably and clearing his throat, Puck answered a moment too late, but managed to almost sound like this interchange wasn't shocking the hell out of him. "Fuck yeah. Definitely rougher than anything Tanaka ever dished out."
Finn nodded his agreement, perhaps a little too eagerly, before continuing with the admittedly pathetic question of, "So, how's your summer been?"
It was weird for him to think this was the first time since they'd met that he didn't already know.
"Uh, good, I guess." Puck was rummaging through his locker now, but Finn wasn't sure if it was because he was really looking for something or if he just didn't want to make eye contact. "Just the usual, cleaning pools and shit."
From the look of his profile Finn was pretty sure the "and shit" probably involved a certain blonde they both knew. So, with a deep breath and a remarkably casual tone (considering), Finn went ahead and asked about the elephant in the locker room. "How're things with Quinn?"
Puck's head snapped to face him with unprecedented speed and his mouth hung open in gaping confusion. Finn would have laughed at the ridiculous expression if he wasn't trying desperately to rebuild something here. So he just continued to look at Puck, waiting for a response.
"Uh, good? She's been fucking crazy all summer with trying to get back into shape. She's got her eye on being head-Cheerio again, wants to come back even better than she was before."
Finn noticed the careful not saying of before what, and was taken aback by how unnecessary it was. Did it suddenly feel good to think that his best friend had slept with his girlfriend, and gotten her pregnant, and lied to him about it for months, all while he suffered?
Well, no. But it certainly didn't hurt like it used to.
Yet not having a best friend still really hurt a lot.
Quickly he realized he'd need to bite the bullet and ignore the discomfort if he wanted anything resembling what they once had to ever be possible.
"You're starting to realize not all the crazy could be blamed on pregnancy hormones, aren't you? I mean, sure, Rachel's a little nuts, but in a far less threatening way. Quinn can be downright scary. I'm glad it's you and not me."
The ridiculous slack-jawed-surprise face had returned, and this time Finn didn't stop himself from laughing a little bit. "But really, man, I'm glad that you two are doing good."
Puck's mouth, so often used for smirking, or insulting, or smugly reporting sexual conquests, was now opening and closing soundlessly, uselessly. Finn was kind of proud of himself for leaving a self-proclaimed badass so speechless.
Finally, a firm shaking from side to side restored Puck's head to the conversation and he muttered a sincere, "Thanks."
Finn half-smiled and nodded, satisfied that some progress had been made. He was about to turn away and offer a, "See you later," when Puck stopped him, sounding much more like his usual self. "Hey, I'm fucking starving. Wanna grab a burger?"
Finn answered without hesitating. "Totally."
Puck motioned with his head, and the two grabbed their bags and started out. Waving to Kurt as he passed, Finn felt for the first time that while this football season was already so different from the last, maybe the best parts of his past didn't have to be missing from his future. And that was a nice thought.
Of course his musings were suddenly interrupted when "Faithfully" began blaring from his pocket. Puck just quirked an eyebrow as Finn asked for a minute by holding up his finger.
Smiling, he pulled out his phone. "Hey, Rach."
"Oh, Finn, I didn't think you would answer. I was planning on just leaving a voice mail. I am so sorry if this is a bad time." He smiled at the sound of her voice, and at the fact that it took her far less time to say all that than it should have.
"It's good, I promise. I'm really glad I answered." He knew that probably made her blush a little, but it was true.
"Well, I was just calling, as you requested, to inform you that I am officially back in Lima."
His smile widened with every word she spoke. He'd just talked to her the night before, but it made him so happy to know she was just a few miles away now. "Awesome."
He could feel her smile even over the phone. "Are you on your way home to nap between practices?"
Finn threw a glance to his companion, "No, actually, Puck and I are going to go get food."
Somehow he knew her smile turned into a beam at that and he was reminded of several of the reasons he loved her. "That's wonderful, Finn. I hope you two have fun."
He laughed at her enthusiasm for something as simple as lunch (though he knew she knew it meant more than that) and was about to see if he could stop by after when her worried tone cut in. "But, please remember not to order soda with your meal. It really isn't very healthy at all, and now that you will be participating in such a rigorous fitness schedule for the football season you really should make sure that you are doing whatever possible to make it easiest on your body."
He chuckled softly at her concern, "I promise I'll get water."
"Good." He could tell that she was pleased. "I won't hold you up anymore, but have a good time and call me later?"
He sensed Puck was getting impatient so, though he was grateful to hear her voice, her timing was perfect. "Definitely. I'll talk to you then. Love you, Rach."
"I love you, too."
He smiled as he hung up the phone, only to see a smirk and an amused eye roll from the boy at his side. "What?"
"You're so fucking whipped."
Finn couldn't argue, but he laughed happily as he playfully shoved Puck's shoulder. "Shut up. You driving?"
A familiar snort was his only response as they headed towards Puck's truck, just like they'd done countless times before.
!
He woke up with an agonized groan, glaring at the 7:00 am mocking him from his alarm clock's display like it was his most mortal enemy. But, this time, he pulled himself out of bed quickly.
Puck would be picking him up in 20 minutes.