Never
Gunny, your wife and daughter's dead.
The words rang in Gunnery Sergeants Gibbs' head. They echoed and bounced around to the point where he could no longer think of anything but those words.
Dead.
He would never see Shannon's hair floating in the DC wind again. He'd never see her striking green eyes light up at the sight of him and he'd never hear her call his name again. "Gibbs!" she would shriek, when he returned home from a tour. She'd wrap his arms around his shoulders and whisper into his ear how much she'd missed him. And then she'd call for Kelly, who would run outside, screaming as she went, and she'd cling to his hand until he gathered her into his arms for what would be the first time in months.
She'd tell him everything he'd missed while he'd been away; about the new friends she had made, what she'd done in Kindergarten, and more recently, in school. He didn't understand what she was saying, half of the time, but he would listen nonetheless, letting her voice sink into his memory and letting the scent of her strawberry shampoo overwhelm him. He'd take the two of them into her arms and not let go. His girls.
That wasn't going to happen again.
When he'd come home, he'd be greeted by an empty house, full of ghosts. A few dirty dishes, a fruit bowl, a teddy bear. A button up shirt, green, to compliment Shannon's eyes. He would never see them again. Never.
A hole ripped open inside of him. Never was a long time. He'd promised Kelly forever, forever and ever. He'd promised Shannon that he would see them again, and that he'd be able to tell her he loved her. He had broken his promises. Pain seeped in through his skin and he let it settle inside of him. It was his fault. He should be lying dead, not them. Shannon was meant to be the one to hear that her spouse was dead. He was a Marine; he was the one in the line of fire, not her. She was innocent. She and Kelly had never done a thing wrong. The two of them had hearts of pure gold, they didn't deserve this.
He should be dead.
With a strangled cry, he stood up, clumsily, and threw the blanket off himself, and the Kuwaiti landscape blurred around him as he ran blindly forward, knowing not of where he was going or what he would find there.
And with an almighty rumble, he was thrown backwards and was forced into unconsciousness.