John Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Mycroft Holmes, Deaf John, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Slow Build, Friendship, Friends to Lovers, First Time, Fluff, self destructive behavior, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Suicide Attempt, Mutism

WARNING Suicidal thoughts and behaviors in Sherlock's half

-sign language- and "speaking aloud"

John's POV
The first time he got an ear infection he was two years old. It would be first of many ear infections, each one progressively worse, and few of them ever treated by a doctor because his father didn't think that an ear infection was worth a trip to the doctor. By the time he was four, he was unable to hear out of his left ear at all, and only certain sounds out of his right. A fight on the playground with a bully would destroy his remaining hearing when he is six.

His alcoholic father yelled and screamed at him, but never bothered to learn sign language to communicate with him. His quiet mum learns the most basic words, just enough that she could try communicating with him. His annoying younger sister ignores him, unless she is trying to pull some sort of prank on him or get him to do something for her. If not for the fact the school provided him with a tutor, and there was an interpreter at the library who understood sign language his ability to communicate would have been profoundly limited.

If not for his tutor Maryann and Thomas interpreter at the local library, he would have had a very lonely life. Making friends was difficult for him, the inability to hear, combined with the fact he only uses sign language, and his initial slowness at reading lips meant that he couldn't keep up with conversations. As it is, books became his favorite things, allowing him to escape a world he had a hard time relating to. With his love of reading, came a love of learning, and he decided by the time he was fourteen that he wanted to be a doctor who specialized in treating people who could not hear.

So he threw himself into his studies, quickly rising to the top of his class and even managing to skip a few levels through sheer stubbornness and hard work. He lucked out, only running into one situation where he had a teacher against a deaf student learning to be a doctor. Apparently, according to him, his inability to hear is a perfect reason for him to not be one. Of course, that just meant he came up with other ways to prove that particular teacher wrong. He was eighteen when he started his residency, the youngest person in his group. All of his medical schooling paid for by grants and scholarships, much to his amazement, so he only had to focus on his schooling, rather than trying to come up with the money to pay for the parts that are out of pocket.

Working in the A&E is a bit difficult at times, particularly when he is with new people who are not quite used to working with someone who is deaf. He doesn't let it bother him. Instead, he focuses on having patience with those people and continues to do his work without paying much attention to the ones who want to be arses.

The only person from his family who shows up when he graduates and is declared a doctor is his mum. His father swears he's a waste of time and space, who would want to hire a deaf doctor? His sister is too busy being drunk and partying to attend. He doesn't know about any of the rest of the family, they're not exactly close because of his father's behavior and he cannot remember the last time he saw any of them. It startles him when Thomas, the interpreter who had first helped him with sign language at the library and Maryann, the tutor from the school both show up. They both came to show their support because he did better than either of them ever thought he would and want to tell him congratulations in person.

What shocks him most however is when he receives a large envelope from his father's relatives in Scotland.

Inside the envelope he finds a letter congratulating him on finishing his degree and residency to become a doctor and apologizing for not being able to come to his graduation due to various reasons from various family members. What really surprised him though, are the check included and a key folded within a second letter. The second letter is from his oldest great aunt, and it has the information for a small building in London that apparently belonged to one of his great uncles who passed away when he was a kid. Since then it has been shut up and unused, his great aunt had paid to have it cleaned and maintained once a year, but otherwise had not cared about it. According to the letter, she hopes it will be of use to him, the entire family had gotten together to collect the money in hopes it would help him with starting his own practice, getting him out of the house of his drunk father.

Amazed, all he can do is stare at the letter for what feels like hours. Since he knows he cannot afford a lawyer to have the truth of the letter and documents confirmed, he takes it to the lawyer who works at the hospital to ask a favor. Hopefully Jake will be able to tell him if it is real or not.

Thankfully, Jake doesn't mind taking a look at the paper, giving him another surprise. The papers are real, completely legit, and already filled with the city of London. He really does own small building and the check is real too.

Just before he left the office, still reeling from the news, the lawyer had tapped his lips to get his attention. He nodded to indicate he was paying attention before Jake started speaking again.

"I can help you set the legal papers up, if you want," Jake offers with a smile, "No fee."

He just stares in shock before his hands move in the question on his mind, -Why?-

His eyes never leave the older man's lips as he waits for an answer.

"Because I think you will do well. I think that it's a great chance for you. I wish there were more who push themselves as hard as you do. Whether they can hear or not," the lawyer answers seriously, eyes locked on his face.

-Thank you,- he replies. Shocked over the offer, because why would someone do that for him? It doesn't make sense, but he could use the help. After all, he doesn't know anything about laws and regulations past what was covered in class about malpractice. –I would love the help.-

"Great! How about Saturday we have lunch and discuss it? I want to check a few things before I write up anything." Jake suggests.

He nods, answering, -I don't have a shift. Though I only work here for the next two weeks since my residency is done.-

"Well that gives me a time line then, what will you do between when your residency ends and when this gets going?" the lawyer inquires with a tilt of his head, still looking in his direction so he can easily read his lips.

-Look over the building and see what I can do with it.- He answers.

Nodding the lawyer doesn't say anything.

-I have a shift in ten minutes, thank you for looking at this and offering to help.- He comments when he realizes what time it is.

Nodding again, Jake smiles at him, "Alright, I'll be ready on Saturday, have a good shift John."

-Thanks Jake,- he answers, smiling back and leaving.

-o-O-o-

Sherlock's POV
When he was two his parents were worried because he had not started speaking yet. Not long after he turned three they wondered why they ever worried because he never stopped talking. He spent all of his time wanting to know things and stating whatever came to his mind as if he did not have a filter. By the time he was five his hero was his elder brother Mycroft, the brother who was so smart, who read his books to him.

Thankfully his brother wasn't the type to try restricting him, and by time he went to school he had already memorized all of the information for his level plus a few levels a head. While it meant getting high grades was easy, it also meant he was bored all of the time. So while the rest of his classmates worked on the assignments and actually had to take the time to learn things, he studied further, not limiting himself to just one subject, but learning about everything that he could get his hands on, and then a few things he probably shouldn't have.

What was horrible, or at horrible as far as he cared, was he started school at the same time Mycroft left for uni. That meant there was no one there who understood him. He could look at a person and just understand things about them because he was always paying attention to the little details. Observing just like his brother taught him to. Unfortunately, the lack of filter that drove his parents nuts, also drove everyone else nuts, and lead to him getting bullied by some of his classmates.

They were idiots anyways, always so slow to learn, so he spent his time working on experiments and science projects. His focus going from everything to mostly science, its so intriguing with all of its different branches and studies and fields. The only other thing that draws his attention is music. He never understood why his parents decided he needed to take music lessons but it was one thing he ended up appreciating in the long run, learning to play several different instruments in a relatively quick time frame, though his favorite is the violin with its ability to play so many different tones.

By the time he is ready for uni at sixteen, a year later than his brother was, his relationship with his brother was all but destroyed. All of the closeness and affection he felt for his brother was ruined. Not surprising since he rarely got to see him, and when he did, his brother was not affectionate or willing to just spend time with him anymore. The conversations about his questions, books, and experiments stop, no longer by the budding politician. At one point his brother told him he was too emotional, so he did what he thought was most logical and tried to cut the emotions out of his life. Maybe then Mycroft would want to be around him again. Only it never worked.

Uni was both better and worse than sixth form. He managed to test out of all the class he had to take but didn't like, leaving him only with the subjects he wanted. All of which were science based, with a few math ones for the fun of it. Within the first year, he learned to charm his professors so they would let him experiment in the labs, despite the fact that they don't actually like him. It is at the end of the first year that the problems really start.

He meets an older student, one nearing graduation who flirts and coos at him. One who makes him feel special and introduces him to variety of drugs, most of which he uses only once and then never touched again. There is one however which calls to him, calms his mind and makes it stop racing so much: cocaine. Mainly a seven percent solution.

Of course it is not long after that that the flirting and cooing stops. That the person he thought was a friend or something to that effect, starts treating him like everyone else, and gets pissed at him when he doesn't want to have sex. So far in his relatively short life he has not wanted sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime. Nor is he willing to have sex to get the drugs as apparently was expected. After they stop hanging out he has to find other ways to get his fix, so he takes up pickpocket, sleight of hand, and a variety of other tricks to pay for it. Yet still manages to do well in school, at least in the beginning.

Between his seventeenth and eighteenth birthday he overdoses five different times. Each time his brother is the one to find him and nurse him back to health. After a rather horrible eighteenth birthday, where everything that could go wrong does, he goes out to do it again, for the first time on purpose. He is tired of always fighting with his emotions, of his mind always racing, of being so alone no matter where he is or who he is with, of everything. Why should he even bother trying to live when he is clearly not wanted?

Somehow, Mycroft finds him just before his eyes close and his breathing seems to stop, he knows of nothing past that.

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