Monday
The weekend after a job was always peaceful, but the following week it was back to the daily grind at Devil May Cry. Dante indulged himself with a lie in till ten thirty, reasoning that since he slept in the office anyway, he was saving the time getting into work. Breakfast was a slice of meat feast pizza from the night before, and as he set the percolator running the doorbell went, indicating that business was good, and the cash flow steady.
He sauntered over to the door and opened it, empty mug in one hand, pizza in his mouth and the door in the other. He was half dressed and his white hair was still tousled from what hadn't been a particularly great night's sleep. This was down to the increasing awareness of springs in the chesterfield couch.
"Good morning sir, wonderful day isn't it?" The smile on the man's face was almost as shockingly bright as the light outside. Without giving Dante time to answer, he got to the point of his visit, "But life isn't always as wonderful as it is now. It can turn quite bad, quite quickly, leaving loved ones with a hefty bill for funeral expenses and unpaid bills."
Dante blinked. While the guy surged onwards about his enthusiasm for the "La Vida Life Insurance Plan" he let the image toy with his head. If he were to die on the job, Lady would be so pissed about losing her investment that she'd make it a personal quest to find him and get him to pay up before he could rest in peace. He chewed on the pizza thoughtfully, tuning back in to what the salesman was chatting about.
"So all I need from you now is your signature, and a few details."
"What kind of details?"
"Name, age, occupation, followed by the account you want debited. That way I can give you a direct quote right here, right now." He shoved a pen and paper under Dante's nose. "Please use capital letters only sir, the paperwork is read by a machine." Dante was thinking about putting Lady's bank details down when the shockingly cheerful voice added, "Your occupation is a Devil Hunter, is it? My, that certainly is extraordinary. But sir, if you wouldn't mind," the salesman's smile suddenly became cold, "no false details please."
Dante was stumped. He had never been accused of being a fake before. Actually, being a Devil Hunter always worked to his advantage. Guys wanted to be him, chicks wanted to be with him. Obviously the salesman hadn't a clue what Devil May Cry was all about? And why should he, he was the sort of person who didn't need to know. This guy was Joe Average, right down to the queasy smile and the drab grey suit. Personally, Dante was not a fan of grey anything, but the suit was a prime example.
Having mistaken Dante being half asleep meaning total disinterest (which was not the case, and a man less cynical on the job may have picked up on this) the man moved onto his second attempt to wheedle some cash out of his virtually captive audience.
"So then sir, winter is fast approaching." He managed to look round Dante's frame and into the office cum living room cum bedroom, "It gets awfully cold, awfully chilly, and the price of fuel for heating is getting ever more expensive."
"Really?" He was about as interested in this subject as a five year old in a lecture for advanced maths, "I hadn't noticed. Maybe I should conserve heat by shutting the door?" He tried, but the salesman was determined to make him hear the pitch. He wedged the door with his foot.
"Hear me out sir, I promise it'll be worth your time."
"Pay me for it, and I'll listen." The sound of the percolator hissing its completion was enough to stir Dante's business sense.
"What?"
"Pay me for my time to listen to you. If I have to stand here listening to you, letting precious heat out the door, I think I should be compensated for my effort, don't you?" The way he smiled told the salesman he didn't want to disagree.
"I… uh… it's highly unorthodox."
It was time to sweeten the deal. Dante turned on the persuasion. "Who knows, you may even make a sale. Your commission would cover your costs and everyone would be happy."
"I suppose that would be true." The salesman thought about it, "Yes, alright. Well the best way to keep your heating bill down this year is to have double glazing installed. And we at Winchester Windows think that we offer the lowest quote on the market."
"I thought you work for the La Vida insurance company?"
The insurance man beamed, glad that someone realised he was clever enough to be earning double the cash for half the work. "I do. Unfortunately the pay is lousy so I have two jobs on the same round. Clever, huh?"
"Yeah, clever." echoed Dante, starting to lose interest again. "So is that it?"
"You're not going to buy?" The insurance man looked upset.
"Not this time. Where's my cash?"
The insurance man retrieved his wallet, and from it, a ten. He looked at the bit of paper sadly. "It took me two hours to earn that." He sighed as Dante whipped it out from his fingers. As the door closed, he pottered dejectedly down the steps with his briefcase in hand, and out onto the main street. The salesman of life insurance wondered if it was time to cash in his own policy, while inside, Dante had a phone call to make to Dominos.