Plus Ones (1/1)

Rating: T (some language)

Characters: Annie, Auggie

Spoilers: A few small mentions of things from the 15 Nov episode (the name of which I cannot recall)

Summary: Comm traffic between Annie and Auggie.

Disclaimer: Covert Affairs and all related characters and elements are property of NBC Universal. They are used here without permission.

Brief Author Note: Very little plot, but what there is may require a small sprinkling of some handwavium. Apologies.

"The catacombs, seriously?"

"Beggars can't be choosers. It'll be like an adventure. Do girls ever go through that Indiana Jones phase?"

"I totally did. But, I don't have a flashlight or a flaming torch."

"Okay, so it'll be like being me on an adventure."

"I kind of hate you."

"No you don't."

"Do too. By the way, you're coming with me to Danielle's for dinner this week."

"Oh am I?"

"Yes, yes, you are."

"Since when?"

"Since I decided I hate you. Payback. Once I tell her, there's no escape."

"I might be busy?"

"What? Washing your hair?"

"My grooming aside, and back to the task at hand - are you in?"

"Yeah."

"Face east, put your hand on the wall on your left, then go forward about 50 yards to the next intersection and turn left."

"Okay. So, are you busy?"

"What night?"

"See now, if I tell you, you'll just come up with some excuse."

"Thursdays, usually, isn't it?"

"I hate you."

"You adore me."

"Lies. Damn it."

"What? Annie?"

"I just tripped, the floor's kind of uneven. It's fine. Pitch freaking black, but fine."

"Just take it slow, try not to pick up your feet too much."

"Yes, sensei."

"About Thursday -"

"You're locked in, Auggie. Short of a national security emergency, and if you try to fake one, I'll know."

"So you think."

"Hey, I may not have as many years in the agency as you, but don't think I don't have my ways."

"Are you at the intersection yet?"

"I'm going slow."

"There's slow and then there's not moving. Don't forget the guys with guns."

"As if I could, and I'm moving, okay? I've reached the disturbing wall of bones part. Let me describe for you what it feels like running your hand over a line of human skulls."

"That's okay."

"No, no. The nasal cavity is particularly awesome. Okay, I'm at the turn."

"Take the turn, walk forward about ten paces, then carefully step sideways until you've got your right hand on the right wall. You'll follow that one for about 100 yards. There are two turn offs, be careful to go straight and not get turned around. You want the third, where you'll make the right turn."

"So, so, awesome, Auggie."

"Quit bitching, Walker. Just be glad you've still got a signal down there."

"If you just cursed that, I will hurt you."

"So, now would be a good time to tell you about my Thursday plans?"

"Don't bother, I already know them. They include dinner with my sister and saving me from the set-up she's got planned."

"Oh, see, you didn't tell me I got to be a hero. Keep moving while I put that on my calendar."

"Be sure to add a smilie face or two."

"Sparkle hearts?"

"Whatever works for you, big guy."

"Save Annie from creepy date. Check. Seven?"

"Sure, why not."

"How's your progress?"

"Passed the first turn. This is really disorienting."

"Tell me about it."

"I'm creeped out that I feel relived when I hit an eye socket and not teeth or a nasal cavity. Seriously, those are sharp."

"Just pretend it's a rock wall, or something."

"Human bone shaped rocks."

"Whining is unattractive, Annie."

"One day, Auggie, you and I are going to go on a little field trip to Paris."

"Promise?"

"Oh yeah, put that on your calendar with sparkle hearts. Okay, second turn passed."

"The passage is going to start to curve a little bit."

"Sweet."

"It's an adventure. Next time, remember your flashlight."

"I'm pretty sure that's on the bottom of the Seine, along with the rest of my bag."

"Lose anything important?"

"No, but I really liked that bag."

"Five grand?"

"On sale, 300."

"Well, I won't have to grovel to expense that. Thanks."

"It was totally cute. At the turn."

"Same thing as the last. Take the turn, go about ten paces forward, then put your hand on the left side wall. The passage narrows, take it slow. You might want to put your right hand up, see if you can touch the ceiling. Make sure you don't hit your head"

"Got it. How far?"

"A while. There are three side chambers and a turn. Let me know when you've passed them."

"Copy. How much further in am I going?"

"Another half-mile or so. Hope you've got your walking boots on."

"Sneakers."

"Good. I'm trying to get you to the tourist section, then you can just walk out."

"Okay. It's definitely getting narrow and the floor's uneven."

"No rush, take it easy. Don't make me send somebody to extract you if you knock yourself out. Joan'll be pissed."

"She's already going to be pissed."

"How many times, Annie? No, she won't."

"Sure."

"One of the great things about you, is your drive, your thoroughness. You want every op to be a success and you do a damn good job of making sure they are, but you need to try not to take it so personally when they aren't. I'm not saying you shouldn't care, but just ease up on yourself a little bit."

"Right."

"I'm serious. There are always factors beyond your control. You do the best you can, you stay focused, you take the victories you get however small, and you acknowledge that there are times you won't win. There's no shame in that."

"Thanks, Auggie."

"You got the intel, now get home safely, and I'll buy."

"Okay."

"So, who's the schmoe I'm saving you from on Thursday?"

"Some lobbyist."

"You might like him."

"A lobbyist?"

"They can't all be Satan's pups."

"Everything just feels complicated right now, you know? I'm not looking to add a relationship to that."

"Understandable."

"Besides, Danielle's idea of a great guy for me, hasn't ever really been the same as mine."

"She just wants you to be happy."

"I get that, but the thing is, I'm honestly happy. I've got a great sister, two beautiful nieces, an awesome best friend - even if I kind of hate him right this very minute - and I love my job. Usually. I'm pretty okay with all that for the moment."

"Look how nice and healthy you are."

"Smartass."

"Now we just need to work on you being too hard on yourself."

"Listen, Auggie-"

"Hey, I get it, Annie, you know I do. I'll make you a deal. I'll let you beat up on yourself as much as you want, and you believe me when I tell you Joan won't be pissed, or when I tell you you did good. Deal?"

"Yeah, deal. I mean, I'll try, okay?"

"That's all I ask. You know I'm not the type to blow sunshine."

"Alright, alright."

"How's your progress?"

"A little slow. I passed two chambers. The floor's kind of a disaster."

"You're doing great. So, this dinner-"

"It'll be fine. Danielle likes you."

"It's no fun being a third wheel. I'll feel bad for the guy."

"Nah, I'll tell her you're coming and she'll wave off the lobbyist, or, if I'm really lucky, set him up with one of her friends."

"Saved for another week."

"Hallelujah. Okay, I passed the last opening."

"It opens up again, but watch your head. Let me know when you reach the next turn."

"Copy."

"What's on the menu?"

"No idea. Feel free to call her and ask."

"Maybe I will."

"I'm not stopping you."

"What are the odds I'll get wrangled into another Smithsonian tour?"

"I think you're safe; she knows we work together."

"I was a pretty awesome tour guide."

"Sure."

"I got calls."

"From who?"

"A couple parents. The teacher."

"And the card from the kids. I remember."

"In braille even. I'm thinking of changing careers."

"How long was I on the hook for that? Like six months?"

"You're right, tech ops is way less stressful. Besides, you'd miss me."

"I really would."

"How's it going?"

"Slowly and disturbingly. And I'm starting to get a headache."

"Closing your eyes might help with the eyestrain."

"Now you tell me."

"So, this dinner-"

"Are you seriously obsessing?"

"No, I'm just thinking - this might obligate you to the family event of my choosing."

"No, no, no. Dinner is payback for the catacombs."

"My brother's birthday is next month."

"Auggie -"

"What did I tell you about whining?"

"This isn't whining, this is objecting."

"Objection noted."

"And ignored?"

"Savored first, and then ignored. I'm putting it on your calendar."

"Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"I just discovered it's possible to double hate somebody."

"There are people who would give a kidney to attend an Anderson brother birthday bash."

"Find one of them, then."

"Locked in, Annie."

"Don't you have a groupie you could take?"

"I am."

"You're such a jerk."

"No I'm not, and if I was, what does that say about you? Me being your best friend and all."

"I didn't say you were my best friend. I could have been talking about Jai or somebody. You don't know."

"Jai? That's even worse. You're digging yourself a hole there."

"Yeah, a human bone lined hole, and you're the one who put me here."

"Bitch and moan. Bitch and moan."

"I'm at the turn."

"Take the turn, keep your hand on the wall and follow it until you reach a door."

"Until I run into the door, you mean."

"I'm hoping there's light on the other side and, fingers crossed, it bleeds under the door."

"Great."

"You might have to pick the lock or bang on the door and act very lost and very confused."

"I have a leatherman and a bobby-pin."

"You go, McGyver."

"Suck it, Auggie."

"Keep whispering those sweet nothings, Annie, and people are going to start to talk."

"Oh, Auggie, you're so big and strong and brave. My heart's a-flutter."

"A-flutter?"

"A-flutter. Talk geek to me, baby. Specs, bandwidth, RAM. Oh, do it for me, baby, overclock my processor."

"Now that's just disturbing."

"Man, it really was, wasn't it?"

"Endearingly awful. My brother's going to love you."

"Auggie-"

"Come on, it'll be fun. Live a little, Walker."

"He says as I walk blindly through the Parisian catacombs."

"The blind leading the blind. If this is ever declassified, think what a great story it'll be."

"I'll get you back someday."

"I thought that was dinner at your sister's?"

"Well, apparently, that became part of an uncomfortable family event swap. You've got nobody to blame but yourself."

"I'll look forward to it. Metaphorically speaking, of course."

"Some day, Auggie."

"When I least expect it?"

"What fun would it be if you expected it?"

"No rearranging my office."

"Please, that's so bush league. Give me a little credit."

"Now I'm really looking forward to it."

"You should be, it'll be awesome."

"Ah, plotting already."

"No, trying not to fall flat on my face. The plane home will be for plotting."

"Good deal. Oh, hey, I forgot to mention earlier, but there's a live set this weekend at Deseriee's. Remember Mono?"

"Yeah, he was great."

"So, you in?"

"If I don't die in the catacombs."

"Such an optimist. Starts at eight on Saturday."

"Wait, don't you have a girlfriend? Is she coming?"

"She's out of town visiting friends until next Tuesday."

"So I'm your fallback date? Man, way to sucker punch my ego."

"You'll recover."

"Will she be weirded out, though?"

"She knows we're friends. I'll tell her, if it will make you feel better. This didn't bother you when you were strong-arming me into your sister's."

"That's community service."

"My mistake. You know, we could always do a double date some night. You two could get to know each other. Any idea when Eyal might sneak back into town?"

"Holy crap, are you kidding me with that?"

"What? You don't think that'd be fun?"

"I think you just described my idea of the most awkward night ever in the history of the universe. I really don't want to know how you and Eyal would get along. Or not. I'm leaning towards not, but so, so hard to tell, and it will give me an ulcer if I think too much about it."

"Alright, so 'no' to the double date, but ... 'yes' to the set?"

"Okay, okay, it'll be fun."

"That's the spirit."

"Get a haircut first, Shaggy, I've got a rep to maintain."

"Ouch. You get all critical when you're freaked out."

"I'm not freaked out."

"Uh huh. It's kinda cute how you're not freaked out by walking through the catacombs in the dark, but the thought of me meeting your Mossad pal is too much."

"You're seriously pushing your luck here."

"So touchy. You okay to pick me up at seven?"

"Yeah. I promised to take the girls to some animated travesty in the afternoon, but I'm free after."

"Tell me you don't hate animated movies. This could be the deal breaker of this relationship."

"And not the girlfriend, right."

"Or the Mossad agent."

"Jackass. I don't hate animated movies. I hate bad, animated movies."

"If you're a pixar buff, it could be love."

"To infinity and beyond, Auggie."

"Now my heart's a-flutter."

"See? It's totally a thing. Hey, either my eyes are dying a horrible death, or I see light at the end of this tunnel."

"Take it easy, you don't want to break something right when you're almost out."

"Yes, Auggie."

"Listen at the door first."

"Yes, Auggie."

"Act lost and confused if somebody stops you."

"Yes, Auggie, because stumbling through the catacombs for an hour has totally made me forget how to do my job."

"I'm just saying."

"Say less for a sec."

"Copy."

"Okay, it's quiet. Trying the lock. ... Ha! Got it."

"Now get home safely."

"Will do. Thanks for walking me through, and you know, for keeping me company."

"Always one of the best parts of my day."

"See you tonight."

"You bet. And Annie? You did good."

"Thanks, Auggie."

##