Hi, how are you, how's your life?
Oh, you got a man, are you in love, if so what type?
Is it platonic, strictly just as friends?
Or the type that ties you two together, 'till tomorrows end?
"Hey, buddy!" A voice from behind him shouted.
"Buddy?" Shawn turned around to find Juliet standing by the Psych office door with the biggest smile on her face.
"That's what we are, right? Friends?" She gently pushed his legs off the couch to take a seat next to him. "Can I have one?" She asked already reaching for one of the beers that were sitting on the table in front of them.
"I mean yeah… buddy." He gritted his teeth and turned back to the football game blaring on the TV. Within seconds Shawn had to shut his eyes and close his hands in a tight fist. The scent of her perfume had begun to waft over towards his nose and soon that was the only thing he could smell; her. Her vanilla body spray smelt like heaven, and he didn't even mind the faint smell of Declan's cigars from her clothes.
"Shawn, are you listening?" A hand was on his shoulder.
"What? Yeah! Of course." He scoffed quietly, "Uh, what were you saying?"
She shook her head with a smile, "How was your day?"
"Didn't do much. You?"
"Declan asked me to fly with him to LA. Did you know that he was a pilot?" That beautiful smile on her face grew wider. "Apparently we're going to fly to LA, eat a fabulous dinner at some popular place, and then go see a show or something. Doesn't that sound amazing?"
He really didn't want to hear about her and Declan. It was bad enough that the guy kept showing him up around the station; Shawn didn't want to hear about his relationship to the girl he pictured being with.
"So cool, yeah. I'm going to get another beer." He quickly jumped from the couch and headed into the small kitchen. Standing near the refrigerator he couldn't help but let a longing look slide onto his face. Man, he loved her.
If it is, disregard every time I call you pretty.
Though it's meant sincerely it's just my imagination drifting.
"Thanks for coming with me Shawn!"
Shawn smiled and looked up from the bench he was sitting at in a little consignment store. How he got roped into helping her pick out an outfit for her big date with Declan he'd never know.
"What about this one?" She stepped out from the curtain dressing room and did a little twirl. The dress swirled around her calves as she turned, showing off her beautiful peach skin.
"You look pretty." He said with an actual honest smile.
"Really?" She frowned into the mirror behind her. "Isn't it a little much?"
"Not at all!" he stood from his seat and walked onto the small platform. "It shows off your back but not a lot. It hugs your curves, the color just matches your skin tone, and your breasts look absolutely amazing-" He stopped abruptly when he noticed her staring at him.
"I mean you're just… pretty." He shrugged with a small smile; he could just feel the heat rising into his face, thankfully she chose to ignore what had happened.
"I think I'm going to try the other one." She made a quick exit back into the dressing room.
"I'm going to get some air!" He yelled making a beeline for the door. The cold air made him feel slightly better but his insides were pounding. They were just friends! He had to stop thinking about her in a romantic way. Besides, there was no way she would ever look at him in that kind of prospect.
And I love the thought of being with you
Or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone
He was surprised when she called him. It was close to ten o'clock at night, the wind was howling and the dark grey clouds above them were threating to burst. He looked over at her carefully as she sat hunched in Gus's car with her arms crossed.
"Are you cold? I could turn on the heater?" He broke the silence.
It took her a few minutes to respond to him, her voice was wavering and he could tell she was close to tears, "I'm okay." She sniffled.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He glanced at her as she rubbed one of her eyes.
"No, I just… He knew I bought this dress for tonight. Brand new, you were there when I bought it." He nodded. "And he tells me to meet him on the tarmac. I'm running just a few minutes late, I'll be there." The last part she said in a voice meaning to mock Declan's. "I waited for an hour before he told he couldn't make it." The wavering went away and all he could hear was anger.
"He doesn't deserve you, Jules!" Shawn pulled into the parking lot of a Starbucks, "He may be rich, and good looking or whatever but he doesn't deserve you. If he thinks it's okay to leave you like that then he's a jerk. You look amazing tonight and for all I care that's a win for me, and a loss for him. You deserve someone better."
The look she gave him broke his heart. Her eyes were a little watery, her mascara slight smuged, but she still looked absolutely beautiful.
"Like who Shawn?" She asked in desperation.
"Like m- We should get some coffee." He stopped himself. "It's a long drive home." He grabbed the keys and hurriedly got out of the car.
F***k I really love being in love
We should go get a cup of coffee and I'll act friendly
So I don't know what to tell you if I try to confess my love for
Sitting at the small bistro table with her across from him was hard. She had gone to the bathroom and come back with a simple shirt and sweatpants taking the place of her dress.
"I'm so glad I brought a change of clothes." She smiled her first actual smile of the night. She looked a lot more comfortable in what she was in now.
"You have a little…" He motioned to his left cheek. Juliet mirrored her movements and wiped the remaining of her mascara off.
"Thanks. I can't believe I missed that." She ran her hands through her hair and grasped her warm coffee. He smiled back at her.
"I have to say, Jules, I'm glad you called me." He took a sip of his hot chocolate.
"I didn't think you'd answer, honestly." She shrugged with a small laugh. "I couldn't believe it when you said you drive a couple hours to pick me up at the tarmac this late at night. You're kind of my hero right now."
"Hero?" He laughed, "I am so not the hero. The hero is you wearing that dress in this kind of weather." He looked out the window towards the sky.
"It wasn't supposed to be this bad." She laughed.
"I kind of like it. I like that were having some time together."
"Yeah me too. Things have been a little off between us lately, and I don't really like it." She set her cup onto the table and looked him in the eye. "Why is that?"
He choked a bit on his drink. He couldn't tell if she was being serious, he thought it was kind of obvious. He had never been afraid to flirt with her, ask her out, and just generally be around her. Ever since Declan had entered the picture all of that had stopped, did she really not notice? That hurt him a bit.
"Shawn?" She nudged his shin with her foot when he didn't answer.
His chest tightened and he could feel his heart begin to race. He loved this woman more than anything, he could picture them together for forever- so why not tell her? What did he really have to lose?
"I can't be around you and him." He couldn't stop the hiss from his mouth.
"What do you mean?" She frowned.
"Like I said earlier…" He shook his head and ran a hand down his face, "He doesn't deserve you, Jules. You're perfect in every way. And I love…" Her face was scrunched in concern and confusion. He had to glance away, he couldn't bear to look at her anymore.
"You love what?" Her hand reached across the table to try and grab his.
"I love…" he sighed, "Scones." He shouted louder than he intended. "I mean come on, look at these!" He stood and motioned to the pastry case that was next to the register. "They have blueberry, strawberry, lemon, and pumpkin- I mean pumpkin is only good like what, a couple months of the year? But the selection is amazing." He made a fake smile. "How could anyone not love scones?"
"You're confessing your love for scones?" She sat back in her chair frowning at him.
"Well yeah." He nodded with his words.
"I think we should leave." She stood from the table and made her way out to the car. Shawn followed behind, sincerely disappointed with himself- what the hell? He had his chance and he blew it. Again.
Hi, what's up, yeah, what's going on?
Oh yeah she told me a lot about you
It's so great that you're doing all of those things
You should keep doing all of them, I think
It had been two weeks since the night at the coffee shop and Shawn hadn't been able to stop kicking himself. Every other thing he could have said at that moment played out like a perfect scene in his head, he was just too scared to act on them. He and Juliet seemed to avoid each other at all costs, it seemed she was upset too. Shawn made sure to never be alone with her, hell, he even tried not being in the same room, but that had been hard to do. Eventually, Shawn decided to take a break from Psych. This way he wouldn't be forced to see her day after day.
Shawn sat in the very same coffee shop Declan had bested him for the first time. While he hated the embarrassment from the barista of being wrong, he loved their scones. Picking up a vanilla one from his small bag he decided he wasn't that crazy about vanilla anymore.
"Spencer." He looked up and groaned internally when he saw the source of the voice.
"Hi, Declan," Shawn grumbled looking back at the table.
"Long time no see," he heard a chair screech as Declan pulled it back and collapsed his weight onto it. "How've you been?"
"What do you want?" Shawn frowned looking at him. "We both know this isn't a casual conversation."
Declan put his arms onto the table and leaned onto them, making sure to meet Shawn's eyes. "Stay away from her."
"Excuse me?" Shawn straightened up.
"I don't know what you're trying to pull but it needs to stop. Juliet made her choice, and she chose me. So, I need you to back up, and leave her alone."
"I haven't done anything to Jules."
"Whatever happened that night you picked her up affected her. She's done nothing but talk about you, get mopey, and cry. It's getting annoying frankly." Declan's voice was sharp.
Shawn couldn't help but let his mouth drop open in surprise. Was she crying over him? He had never seen her cry, ever. Sure he had heard about her breakdown after Yin and the clocktower and that one moment in the car, but that was it. Juliet just didn't cry. It was almost like she was a robot, always hiding her feelings and staying strong. Although, what else could you expect from a female officer? They have to seem ten times as strong as their male counterparts to fit in.
"I have to go." Shawn stood quickly from the table ignoring the glare from Declan.
"This isn't over!" Declan shouted as Shawn bounded from the shop.
But she is so sweet and she cared about me a lot
When no one else cared about me and I think that's really nice
I love the thought of being with her
I just really hope that she doesn't get hurt
"Jules open up!" He screamed banging on her screen door for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Her car was parked outside, her green volkswagen beetle, she had to be in there. "Jules!" He called again trying to peek through her window.
"Excuse me? Can I help you?" A door swung open behind him and there stood an elderly woman in a long nightgown. "I suggest you stop that or I'm going to call the police."
"I am the police, woman." He snapped at her, "Jules!" He hit the door again.
"That's it! I'm getting the phone!" The elderly woman yelled returning inside her apartment.
"Misses Cleavermen, there's no need for that." The door opened and Juliet pushed Shawn to the side to smile at her neighbor.
"But he was peeking through your window! I saw him. He could try to peek through mine next."
"You wish," Shawn mumbled under his breath.
"Inside, now." Juliet grabbed his hand and dragged him through the doorway, "Have a wonderful day Misses Cleavermen."
"What the hell were you thinking?" Juliet said to him once her door was shut. Her hands were on her hips and she looked furious.
"Declan told me you were crying because of that night and I had to come see you." He explained, "I don't want you crying over me."
Her face softened, "Shawn, I'm not crying over you."
"Maybe not… but you're upset, I can tell." He moved a hand to touch her shoulder, "Juliet I care about you, a lot." She knew he was serious when he used her first name. "You always look after me when we're on a case or something. You always ask how I'm doing, and you always try to keep me safe. Now, it's my turn." He took a deep breath.
"Juliet… I love you. I have since the moment we met." He smiled at her, "I know there's no way you share the feeling and I'm okay with that. I know I can't ever have you, but I do know you deserve to be happy, and safe with someone else."
"Shawn-" She tried to stop him but he kept going.
"Declan is not that someone else. He looks at you like a trophy that he won, not the prize that you are." He moved his hands to cup her cheeks and she grabbed his wrists. "I love the thought of us being together, getting married, and having kids… but I know that you could never be happy."
"Shawn-" She tried again to stop him.
"Please just listen," His look was full of sincerity, "You need to find someone who you can picture doing all of that with but I guarantee you it's not Declan. Please don't fall for his bullshit-"
He was finally interrupted by a kiss to his lips. When she pulled away his eyes were closed and his mouth agape. Did she just kiss him?
"Shawn look at me." It was her turn to grab his face. "That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."
"I just don't want you to get hurt." He leaned into the palm resting on his cheek. Her hands were soft and warm; he couldn't believe this was happening.
"What I do is my choice, okay?" Her thumbs rubbed his stubbled cheeks, "If I want to be with Declan then I will. And if I want to be with you…" She kissed him again. It was a slow sensual kiss, her lips were smooth and gentle. Her hand moved to grip the bottom of his head as he kissed her back.
When they broke apart for air Juliet rested her forehead against his, "It's my decision. You don't get to decide that we can't be together."
"Jules, I'm way out of your league. You're so beautiful and kind, and you're like a ten. I'm barely a six- make it a seven actually, I don't think I'm that bad looking."
"Shawn, you're rambling."
"Right sorry." He pecked her lips, "Can we actually do this?"
"I don't see why not." She smiled. Her eyes were bright and Shawn couldn't take himself away from them. "I love you, Shawn."
"I love you, Jules."
And I love the thought of being with her
But maybe it's the thought of not being so alone