This is a dream. A dream which I hope to never wake from.
Kaname rubbed his hands around Mana's baby bump, kissing it up and down. Two heartbeats could be heard inside and he pressed his ear to it.
It had been six months since he brought her here and to his delight, their night when they had made love resulted in their children. Two beautiful children which they can raise together. And finally, Mana will come to love him. He'll prove himself to be a good father. When Mana sees how well he'll raise their children, she'll have to fall in love with him. She has to, for the sake of their children. She'll love them first but eventually that love will be directed towards him. He was certain of it. It was only two to three months away and he couldn't be more excited.
He laid a firm kiss above her belly button and looked up at Mana. He reached to hold her hands as she stared at the wall behind him.
"Mana," he cooed, and Mana blinked but didn't look down. "Mana, please, look at me."
His smile faltered when she refused to look at him. He reached up and grabbed her face, directing her towards him. Her lips wobbled as she looked at him and he smiled.
"Have you thought of names yet?" he asked.
Mana pursed her lips and pulled her face away, turning away from him. She slid down the bed and faced away from him, a hand over her stomach. Kaname balled his fists and followed her, pressing his front to her back and wrapping is arms around her. He placed his hands on her baby bump, rubbing it slowly.
"I quite like the name Ryu," he said as he buried his nose into her hair. "Or Daisuke."
He hummed, looking over her shoulder and rubbing a hand over the top of the baby bump.
"If we're expecting at least one daughter, I think we should name her after Yuki."
Mana scowled and looked away from him. Kaname parted his lips and kissed her neck.
"Or we could name her Sayori," he suggested, and Mana clenched her fists. "You and Yuki were good friends with her."
Mana pulled away from him and he sighed.
Please talk to me. I haven't heard you speak for weeks now. Don't deny me your beautiful voice. Even if you're wishing me dead, I just want to hear you say something.
Kaname pressed himself to Mana again and placed his hands on her stomach. He smiled as he felt a few kicks.
"This one is lively," he said as he stroked the right side of the bump. "I can already imagine them running around our home. They'll be a handful. But you'll know how to calm them down."
Mana flinched as he kissed the side of her head.
"Ayumi was rather energetic, wasn't she?"
Mana pushed his face away with a scowl. She swayed and gripped the power blocker on her wrist. She panted and squeezed her eyes closed.
"Take this off," she said softly and Kaname's heart leapt.
"No, I can't risk you leaving me," he said as he gripped her wrist and turned her around.
Mana fell to her side in front of him. She had broken a sweat and was panting.
"Please, my body can't be suppressed and carry these children at the same time."
Kaname narrowed his eyes.
"No, Mana. I've told you before. You won't be running away from me any longer."
Mana whined as he lay next to her and cupped her face. He paused for a moment. She was ice cold.
"Please…" Mana whined.
No, Mana! I can't let you run away from me! It took so long to have you where I wanted. And even then, you didn't accept my love. This is the only way I can have you!
Kaname hesitated when Mana grabbed his wrist and looked him in the eye. Tears began falling as she leaned in closer.
"Please, Kana-nii," she sobbed. "I don't want to lose another…"
She buried her face into the mattress and cried out.
"Not again, please!" she begged and Kaname sat up when he smelt blood.
Kaname parted her legs and his heart sank when he saw a trail of blood. Mana cried out in pain as she clutched her baby bump. Kaname flinched as he heard something inside her.
They need their mother's strength but if there's something stopping her…
They were eating her.
Kaname grabbed the power blocker on Mana's wrist and snapped it off. Mana gasped as she rolled onto her back and gripped her baby bump. Kaname threw the power blocker aside, slid off her knickers and kissed her blood trail away. Mana gripped his hair as he parted her thighs to examine her.
They seemed to have stopped now…
"Mana," he said as he looked up at her. "Mana, does it still hurt?"
Mana breathed heavily as she rubbed her belly. The sounds of the biting had stopped and Kaname sighed, placing a hand on the baby bump.
"I didn't know," he whispered. "I thought…"
He ducked his head and willed his tears away.
I didn't think they needed all your power…
Kaname lifted his head and moved so he lay next to Mana. He turned her head to him and kissed her forehead.
"Forgive me," he whispered and cupped her face. "I'll do anything to make it up, anything at all."
Mana stared at him and dread pooled in his stomach.
There was only one thing she wanted.
Kaname closed his eyes and braced for her words.
I know you don't want to be anywhere near me. But I don't want to hear those words. I don't want to hear you say that you want to leave. That you'd rather be as far away from here as possible. Just say something else like a relaxing bath or be materialistic like a new dress or, or…
"There's…" Mana mumbled.
She coughed and wet her lips.
"There's this puzzle box Yuki gave me."
Kaname opened his eyes and stared at Mana. She glanced up at the ceiling.
"I always have it with me," she said. "I like having it around me because it feels like she's with me. I miss it and being without it makes me miss her even more."
Tears brimmed in her eyes and Kaname reached out, brushing them away.
"Of course!" he said and kissed her cheek. "I know the one you mean. You always had it with you when we travelled. I'll have to leave to retrieve it, but I won't be gone for long."
He leaned in and kissed her lips hard.
"I'll leave tomorrow morning," he said as he ran his hand through her hair. "I'll then be back by tomorrow evening."
He kissed her again.
Oh, my love! Thank you for not saying those hurtful words! It simply gives me unimaginable joy to know I can do something for you! My darling, my sweet, sweet princess!
Kaname slept soundly that night, spooning Mana and rubbing her baby bump. It was tricky to fall asleep at first, with his mind racing at the possibilities that she hadn't asked for her freedom.
This surely was the first step that would lead to her unconditional love.
Oh, how he craved for such love from her. Every time he saw her with Zero, with that beautiful smile only designated for such an unworthy recipient. He wanted that smile. That gorgeous, wide smile that should only be reserved for him. That beautiful smile that was captured in her wedding photo.
He still had that framed somewhere.
Perhaps they'll have an unofficial wedding ceremony together? Just the four of them with their children watching. He'll find the most beautiful wedding gown for her. He won't need pictures taken, just the memory of her with that sweet smile would be enough. He'll be able to see that smile more often.
He knew this wasn't something to rush but by all the gods that exist in their pantheons, he felt like he couldn't wait another second! He wanted her love now. He wanted to see those beautiful eyes look up at him with adoration. No more malice, no more negativity. Just Mana, true to her name, warm, affectionate and oh so caring.
He could already imagine her hands gently caressing him as she whispered sweet words of love in his ear. He could picture her on top of him, looking down at him with that sublime smile and a warm gaze that showed her tender side. She'd play with his hair, trail her slender fingers down his jaw and kiss him with those sinful lips. Maybe she'd have lip gloss on, maybe she wouldn't. It didn't matter, all he wanted was those lips on him. Marking him as hers and declaring her irrefutable love.
He also hoped that these twins wouldn't be the only children they'd have together. He longed for a bigger family, not too dissimilar to the family she had with her previous husband. Perhaps it was because he wanted to have the house full of children running around and hear laughs of mirth everywhere. Or perhaps it was because seeing Mana pregnant and knowing she's carrying his children made him happy. He definitely hadn't felt such joy when Yuki had been pregnant.
All these feelings about their children felt so new. It felt like there was finally something bright, something that was worth dedicating time to, was in his grasp and he just needed to push a little further. Not long now until their children's date of birth. Not long now until Mana falls in love with him. Not long now until his dream life will come into fruition.
Tell me that you love me every day. Look at me adoringly with those beautiful eyes. Be yourself without your bitter hatred. I just want us to have the life we should have had all those years ago. No-one has to know about us. It's just you, me and our children in our haven.
Even right now, as we lie together like this, can you not feel it? Can you not feel how perfect we are together? I want to show our love off to the world. I want everyone to be jealous of our unconditional love. They can only dream of having such a perfect union.
Morning came and Kaname was quick to get dressed. He wanted to be as quick as possible with this errand. He'd have to travel to where he had stored most of their belongings from the hotel which was at least half a day away.
The thought of leaving Mana alone worried him but considering their location and her condition, she wouldn't get far. And that was if she managed to get past the locked doors.
Before he left, he cuddled Mana, rubbing his hands around her baby bump. He kissed the side of her head, his heart jumping for joy when she didn't recoil. He held her tighter, burying his nose into her hair and sighing.
"I'll miss you terribly," he said. "I'll be as quick as I can."
He combed his fingers through her hair, looking down at her baby bump.
"They haven't tried hurting you again, have they?" he asked and stroked it. "They're safe? They're not harmed…?"
He tensed as Mana placed her hands over his. She squeezed them and he closed his eyes, holding her closer.
"Oh, Mana…" he whispered.
"Kana-nii," she said and Kaname smiled, looking at her. "The longer you stay here, the more difficult it will be…"
Kaname nodded and reluctantly pulled away from her.
"Of course, my love," he said as he got off the bed and adjusted his clothes. "It just makes me anxious. Leaving you here all alone, without protection…"
He looked around the room.
"I'll be fine, I promise," Mana said.
She turned and looked up at him. Kaname's breath hitched as he looked into her beautiful brown eyes.
"Please, Kana-nii? Have some faith in me. I'm strong, aren't I?"
She brushed some hair behind her ear, her eyes wandering down to the blankets.
"Isn't that why you fell in love with me?" she asked and Kaname's heart leapt.
Kaname rushed forward and cupped her face. He kissed her lips, moving his fingers to comb her hair. He pulled away and Mana gasped, looking up at him.
"I'm sorry, my darling," he whispered then kissed her again, "I can't hold myself back sometimes. You're so precious, oh, Mana!"
Mana placed her hands on his shoulders as he kissed her harder.
"Kana-nii…"
Kaname moved back and nodded, running a hand through his hair.
"I won't be long," he said. "I love you."
Mana nodded and he walked to the door.
"K-Kana-nii?"
Kaname paused at the door and looked at her. She took a deep breath and glanced at him.
"I l-love you too," she said and Kaname's breath left him.
Kaname gripped the doorframe and sighed.
"You will be the death of me, my love," he chuckled.
Mana fiddled with her wrists as he closed the door.
Oh, my heart! How it aches but in a more pleasant way which I have not known before. To hear her say those words and for them to be so genuine!
Every moment of the journey seemed longer than it should. Kaname was plagued with thoughts of Mana, memories and fantasies.
He could remember the first paintings she did when she was a child. Kaien always had them put up around the house. Mana was always shy with her work, by the time she had reached adolescence, she was outright refusing for anyone to see what she painted. Such dedication, such talent. Only hindered by her unnecessary doubts.
She always took inspiration from nature. It was on a rare occasion she'd paint other people. He often thought of how she'd paint him. What kind of portrait would he want? A traditional regal portrait? But he mostly would prefer a casual painting, perhaps sitting in an armchair reading a book either in a garden or by a fireplace. He wanted to throw away the business side to him, he just wanted to enjoy life.
Oh, how long have the thoughts of enjoying a lifetime with Mana haunted him? To be in their own world together and live a simple life. He knew at first that they wouldn't have quite a simple life when they married. But all that humdrum has been dealt with and now they were free for such a simple life. Twins on the way and finally, finally, Mana has started reciprocating his feelings.
Surely, there can only be Elysian peace from now on. There will only be a paradise waiting for him when he returns. In time, when spring approaches and the twins will be five to six months old perhaps, they would be able to spend some time in the garden. He could arrange gardeners to help tidy and decorate it. Or the two of them could take up the hobby together. Another thing to bond them together. He could already imagine her covered in soil and maybe they'd laugh at how terrible they are at taking care of the plants at first.
I'd love to just be myself around her. I no longer want to wear this mask of business and duty. I long for the days raising our children, learning about each other and spending lazy mornings in bed. Simple dreams with such profound meanings, they've plagued my heart for years. I fear that I will wake from this dream. Oh, please, let me sleep forever if this is truly a dream.
Please, my sweetheart, don't wake me up. I want us to be able to build up our haven and continue making it our home. Where no one else can find us. Forget about all that's past and we can start a new life just you, me and our children. I know you will scorn me for Yuki's passing and I scorn myself too for having to put her through that. But it all worked out in the end, didn't it? This is the best outcome for us both, please don't deny that.
Kaname had put several of Mana's things in storage when moving her to their haven. Old trinkets and clothes which he believed she could do without. Including those damned wedding rings.
Kaname glared at the bands that lay in the jewellery box. As much as he wanted to throw them away, he didn't have the heart. Mana loved them.
Snapping the box shut, he placed it down and continued looking through the boxes in the room. He'd only taken a look inside to see if he could possibly take some of her jewellery back. Unfortunately, most of them were gifts from her previous life. No matter, he will get more different jewellery, no cheap imitations, just genuine jewels which only she deserves. He still had the pearl ring she had given back after rejecting him the last time. Perhaps in time she will learn to wear it like she had done with her previous engagement ring. The thought made Kaname's heart ache. Yes, that was something he longed to see, just to see that pearl ring on her left ring finger will give him utter joy.
Kaname's fingers trailed across Mana's dresses. She preferred wearing trousers so the dresses were few.
He picked up a blue summer dress and ran his fingers across the linen. He remembered when she wore this in Nice on a hot summer's day. She loved the market, he always rushed to keep up with her as she dashed from stall to stall. She loved looking at the spices. He could remember the fragrances and how her eyes lit up as she pointed to what she wanted to buy.
It was a nice treat to taste her cooking that evening. It was experimental and she was babbling about how it might not be good, that she was half worried she'd give him food poisoning, et cetera. It didn't matter, it was delicious nonetheless. Anything made by her for him was heavenly. It was what he looked forward to everyday. Even when sometimes her steaks came out a little overdone or she added too much salt to something, he would eat it.
Arguably, Mana's sweets and pastries were the best highlights of her cooking. She did always make Valentine's Day chocolates for him, even if they were obligatory chocolates. He always pretended they were her secret love confession to him. That each chocolate he would gently roll around in his mouth had a little message that declared her love and affection. Kaname rarely indulged on sweets, but again, if Mana was the one who made them, he would gladly accept them.
I want to learn cooking with you, my darling. I'll learn so much from you and with time I shall be able to make you something whilst you take a rest from the kitchen. I'm sure you'll be a wonderful teacher. You raised and taught your own children well.
I want to learn everything about you. What goes through your mind when you're preparing food? What kind of worlds are locked away in that creative mind of yours? I want to know everything and we finally have an eternity to get to know each other better, to gain a full understanding of one another.
Kaname folded the dress and put it back in its box. He ran his fingers across the other folded dresses, remembering a memory from each one of them. The Chinese dress he bought for her in Shanghai, the short floral dress she wore one summer in Cornwall and one of his favourites, her magenta dress which she wore during the evenings whenever they went out to eat. The colour just suited her and it flattered her figure. This dress would often turn heads much to his delight and resentment.
Kaname looked around, trying to think where he could have put the puzzle box. He did remember putting it in this room, it was just a matter of where. Then again when he stored Mana's things away, his mind had solely been focused on organising things and preparing for Mana when she arrived at their new home. He didn't remember the day clearly, it felt like he was a robot organising and putting things in place.
He smiled briefly when his eye caught the stack of paintings Mana flat out refused to sell or auction off for charity. His favourite one was of a sunset over a field. Mana complained she had used too much pink but to him it was perfect.
Kaname approached the paintings and looked through them. He found the painting in question and lifted it slightly to look up at it. It always made him feel warm. He just wanted to take Mana and stroll across the field. There was a stream with a small bridge over it and there was something in Kaname that wished he could sit on that very bridge with her. This painting was a snapshot of Mana's world and he longed to be in it.
All of Mana's paintings made him feel this way. He wished to visit each and every place she painted. What was the inspiration for this painting? Why choose to add particular details to certain paintings? Why did you place that in such a position? He hadn't asked such detailed questions to her before. She was humble in her art, she would sometimes stumble in her words when others asked her similar questions. It was like she didn't put that much thought into her work. She just had a snapshot of her own world and painted it.
Kaname wasn't completely sure if she did study art theory. She probably hadn't but it was probably a topic she'd be interested in if she took to studying it. He wouldn't be surprised if it would boost her confidence if she properly learned what academics do in studying previous painters. Perhaps he'd go out and bring textbooks on the topic, let her study by herself.
Kaname set the sunset painting down and found another favourite, a cherry blossom tree with petals scattering the scene. It was like out of a dream or fantasy. She had spent so much time painting the tree and mixing the shades of pink for the petals. Kaname's favourite detail was the young woman in the swing, which of course was Mana herself. She was reading a book and Kaname loved the little smile Mana had managed to add to her face. The setting suited her, a queen in her element but away from regal duties and just taking the time to enjoy herself.
Kaname set the painting down gently, his fingers lingering on Mana's form. He would definitely have a swing set up in the garden. He wanted to see this vision come to reality. He already had cherry blossom trees planted, all he needed to do was wait for them to be in bloom then show Mana.
Kaname turned and his heart leapt when he spotted the puzzle box perched on a shelf. On top of it was the wedding photo he had of Mana.
So, this was where he had it. Well, it wouldn't do to have mementos around Mana to remind her of the insignificant life she had before him.
Kaname approached the shelf and picked the photo up. He traced her face, his index finger lingering on her wonderful smile.
He looked at the box and picked it up. It was heavier than he anticipated and when he tilted it slightly, he felt and heard a soft bump.
Curiosity clawed at him.
There was something in this puzzle box.
He tilted the box again and frowned at the next bump. An abstract shaped item, heavy so possibly made out of metal and a considerate size.
Kaname glanced at the photo, running his thumb up and down the frame.
What are you hiding, my darling?
Kaname moved the puzzle box around and nibbled his lip. He'd be able to figure out how to open it but he didn't want to invade her privacy. Perhaps she'll show him what's inside when he gives the box back to her. Will she want to open it? Well, time will tell, but he should really start heading back.
He glanced at the photo again, smiled and kissed the photo. He placed it back on the shelf, holding the box with both hands.
"I'll be with you soon," he said. "Not too long now, my precious."
You and Yuki loved each other, didn't you? You were so close and you always acted like you were the big sister. Always being protective over her, always making it so that you would be her shield whenever you thought she was in danger. Oh, my dear, sweet Mana. You shouldn't have been the knight. You are the queen that should have always been by my side.
Or perhaps queen is too humble a title. I feel like you could be my angel or my goddess. I just want to do nothing but worship you. You're so divine, I can only beg that you bestow your love upon me. That hunter never deserved it in the first place, I've always been the one to have your best interests at heart.
Kaname pondered when Yuki had given Mana the puzzle box and when Mana had stored whatever lay inside. It was probably a birthday gift, they often exchanged them and sometimes in private. It gave him such joy to know they had such a strong bond. That's what made Yuki's death all the more sorrowful.
His heart broke when Mana sobbed and cried as he cradled her and soothed her. It was a horrible ordeal, yet he cherished every moment when Mana would cling to him. She wrapped his arms around him and his whole body went into a state of bliss. She buried her face into his chest and into his neck. It was heaven to cradle her and kiss her head without her questioning it.
And now there will be no more tears. No more sorrow, only joy. He can picture their children running around in the garden, Mana kissing grazed knees and reassuring them that their pain will fly away. She often did that with Ryou who always got bruised whilst trying to catch up with Ayumi.
He could also picture her carrying one of their children in a sling across her chest like she had done with Sachi. It had been endearing to see her dote on Sachi as such, he couldn't wait to see it happen with their own children. He'd let her spoil their children, coddle and cradle them and sing them lullabies. Even if she wasn't the best singer, he would gladly listen to her sing every day.
I can't wait to finish the nursery. Then maybe you will help me decide what to spoil our children with. You can help me decorate the nursery with toys and paintings. I've never felt so excited, my darling, it feels so wonderful.
Maybe I can learn to do some woodworking too. I'd like to try and put together those climbing frames humans have for their children. Perhaps you could help me or laugh at my lack of craftsmanship. We both know I'm more suited in an office. But it would be nice to pick up these skills. For you and for our children.
Kaname went into the bedroom, puzzle box in hand. His greeting for Mana died on his lips when he saw her wiping her eyes. His heart ached.
"Mana!"
He rushed to her side, placing the puzzle box aside and cupping her face. Mana sniffed as he brushed away the tears she missed and kissed her eyelids.
"Darling, why the tears?" he asked as he tilted her head to look at him.
Mana rubbed her nose and looked away. Kaname dipped his head and tilted her head.
"Please, tell me…"
Mana took one of his hands and squeezed it. Kaname sighed as she smiled slightly.
"Hormones," she whispered. "I was just remembering Yuki-nee and…"
She winced and Kaname shushed her, reaching out and stroking her hair.
"It's alright," he whispered. "Look, I brought the puzzle box."
He picked the puzzle box up and placed it in her hands. Mana's breath left her as she stared down at it. She brought it to her lips and kissed it, closing her eyes. Kaname tilted his head as he watched her hug the box to her chest and sigh. Tears brimmed her eyes again and he reached out, squeezing her wrist.
"Mana…"
Mana looked up at him, placing the box on her baby bump. He kissed her knuckles and glanced down at it. He rubbed her baby bump and looked back up at her.
"May I ask what is inside?"
Mana's breath hitched again as she looked down at the box. Her fingers shook and her thumb pushed one of the corners in. Kaname heard the click and Mana repositioned the box, her fingers moving across the wood.
He watched in fascination as those slender fingers worked their way around the box. They slid things into place, pulled others out of place and clicked them back. Mana sometimes paused, looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Her hands trembled whilst handling the box.
Five to ten minutes later, something opened and Mana nearly dropped the box when she saw inside. Kaname couldn't quite see what was inside as Mana reached in and gripped onto whatever was inside. Tears flowed down her cheeks and Kaname reached out, squeezing her shoulder.
"Mana?"
Mana looked up at him, her lips wobbling.
"I'm s-s-sorry," she stuttered.
The last thing Kaname saw before he was sent into oblivion was the barrel of Bloody Rose.