I'm back with yet another short story! Yes, this one is quite…long, but I couldn't seem to break it into chapters, so it stayed as is.

I've been working on this for quite a while, since long before my last Matrix story was posted. It's been read and reread more times than I can count, by both myself and my beta. I'm pretty proud of this one, so please don't outright flame me, lest you wish to bring my wrath down upon you. Constructive criticism is fine, though, as long as you give me reasons as to why you didn't like it and try to tell me how it can be fixed.

I tried very hard to keep Trinity in character and to give her reasons for her actions and reactions. If I did a terrible job, tell me and I'll take this down and work a little more on it. I know what it's like to come across a story that mutilates both cannon and your favorite character (though mainly in the Lord of the Rings world), so I was a bit hesitant to post it. =)

I'm not quite sure where the inspiration for this came from. I was actually in the middle of writing the next chapter for my Harry Potter fic, so it was kind of strange to go from that to this. Oo

Enjoy!

Neo rolled over restlessly in bed. Sleep was elusive tonight, as it had been for the past two days since Morpheus' rescue.

Many things plagued his mind, the least of which was how quiet the ship was now without Mouse's incessant chatter, without the soft musings of Switch and Apoc as they conversed in a corner, even without Cypher bothering him. The hum of the engines needed to generate the lights and air was strangely overpowering, the usually dim light of his tiny cabin abrasive.

He squeezed his eyes shut, not wishing to be awake any longer. He was so tired...and it seemed as though the longer he was conscious, the more time he had to dwell upon the untimely deaths of the people he had grown to like.

His thoughts drifted to the unsettling events from yesterday evening. Trinity had gone to her room much earlier than usual, but once she had left, Morpheus had asked Neo to accompany him to the Core. This was the one place on the entire ship that none of the survivors had set foot inside since that fateful day. Debris and pieces of metal were still scattered everywhere, and the whole scene gave off a thick air of chaos and fear. And death.

"Would you help me with the bodies?" Morpheus' voice cut through the stale air like a knife.

Neo looked at his captain before he caught sight of the forms of the dead crew, each covered in a thin white sheet. He turned back to the Morpheus with wide eyes.

"They should not be left here," The first-in-command moved to his fallen comrades. "We can store their bodies in the cold-store room by the med bay until we reach Zion. I wouldn't have asked you, but I don't think Trinity or Tank -"

Neo nodded numbly, interrupting the apology as he helped the other man carry the bodies out of the core, one by one. Things went relatively smoothly, neither talking and going about their remorseful chore in a choking silence. Then, as Neo picked up one of the smaller - Mouse - his foot caught on the edge of a sheet. The white fabric was pulled away to reveal the charred face of Cypher.

He almost dropped to his knees in shock. Gently, he laid Mouse back on the floor, careful not to move that sheet. He felt the bile rise in his throat as he looked at the man who had caused all of this pain. His disgust turned to sorrow. This was not Cypher's fault, not really. It was a stupid chain of events, most of which Neo knew nothing about. Cause and effect...

Morpheus had come over to him then, recovering the face and placing a hand on Neo's shaking shoulder.

Just as he was about to doze off, a strange sound caught Neo's attention. He sat up in bed, intrigued. The noise, which sounded almost like a gasping cough, was not coming from anywhere in his room; it was coming through the wall. From Trinity's room.

Neo was torn. He wanted to go see if she was all right, to make sure she didn't need anything. But things had been so awkward between them since that day she had saved him, as though she thought he didn't remember what she had said, what had happened; even if she did need something she would probably just turn him away as she had been doing lately.

When the noise reached his ears for the second time, he needed no more prompting. He stood from his bed, cringing as his tired muscles strongly protested the sudden movement. Gathering his nerve for what he was sure to be a brutal tongue lashing from the second-in-command, he left his room and knocked on Trinity's door.

When no movement could be heard within, Neo gently pushed the metal door open to give himself a full view of the cabin slightly larger than his own. He glanced at the empty bed and saw that the blanket had been tossed aside as though the person lying under it had jumped from the mattress. Just as he was about to leave, figuring his mind had been playing tricks on him, he heard the sound again and recognized it for what it was.

He rushed to the tiny lavatory at the back of the chamber and peered inside. Trinity was kneeling in front of the small toilet, vomiting.

"Trinity," Neo whispered, utterly confused.

She hardly looked at him before growling, "Go away!"

Even in that short time when her face was turned toward his, he caught the glistening of shed tears on her pale cheeks. What in the world... He stepped forward, wanting to offer comfort.

"Should I go get someone?" he asked timidly.

"No!" Trinity spat scathingly, her voice hoarse due to her burning throat. "Leave me alone!"

Anger and frustration seemed to seep from her every pore, but it was hard to tell if it was directed toward him or her current situation. Maybe it was both. Neo turned to do as she told but stopped when he heard her retch into the basin again. He brushed off the order and was at her side in two small steps. She swatted at his hand in protest as he reached down to gather her short hair behind her head but gave up when another wave of nausea hit.

"What's wrong?" He kneeled down beside her, rubbing little circles on her back as he watched her through narrowed eyes. "Do you want me to go get Morpheus?"

She shook her head and leaned back, the pain in her stomach easing. "Please," she whispered, "Leave me alone," Trinity closed her eyes and leaned her head against her hand, too weak to put up much of a fight. All of this stress, the hanging feeling of helplessness and doubt...everything was too much for her to handle at the moment. Tears welled behind her lids, seeping out to stick to her dark lashes against her will.

"No," Neo said defiantly to her request, "You don't need space right now," Looking around, he spotted a cup beside the little sink. He reached up and filled it halfway with water.

"Here," Gently, he touched the rim of the tin to her chapped lips.

She opened her eyes and grasped the cup with both hands as she took a sip to rinse her mouth with and another to ease her parched throat. When she had finished, he took the cup and placed it on the floor beside them.

After a moment of silence, Neo said, "C'mon, let's get you back to bed,"

Trinity put up no protest as he slid an arm around her waist and helped her stand. In the back of her mind, she was glad that he had disobeyed her. He was right, she didn't need space at the moment, not to mention she probably would have fallen if she had tried to walk by herself due to her somewhat weakened state. Not that she would ever admit any of that. Still, she kept herself from relaxing into his touch, refusing to show any more weakness than she had to. It would be over soon enough, he would be gone in a few more seconds to leave her alone with her thoughts.

It took no more than a minute to make it to the bed. Neo gently helped her to lay back down and once she was settled, he sat on the edge of the mattress.

"Tell me what's wrong," he pleaded, his concerned eyes searching her face.

At first, no answer was forthcoming. Can't he see I want to be alone? The thought crossed her mind to command him to leave, but something stopped her from doing so. 'It could be good to talk to him, you know,' her mind seemed to say.

Giving into the hopeful pleading, she whispered almost incomprehensively, "I can't do this," Her eyes fluttered closed, more tears starting to trickle down her cheeks. She shook her head, turning away from his intense stare.

"Can't do what?" He put a hand on her own, which was resting on her chest clutching the blanket. "You can tell me; I'm a pretty good listener," He gave her a lopsided grin.

She refused to look at him, discomfort filling her body. All that had happened the past few days...it was too much for her to handle, enough to make her sick as she had been minutes before. She had lost shipmates before, but never had she lost five within fifteen minutes of each other, that five almost six had she and Neo not rescued Morpheus. And right now, the only other survivor of Cypher's treason was suffering in the med bay covered with deadly burns, on the brink of following his brother. These thoughts brought more water to her already blurred vision.

"It's not fair," she choked out through a closing throat, referring as much to the deaths of her friends as to her own lack of self-control on the matter.

Against his own better judgment, Neo lifted Trinity from the bed and wrapped his arms around her, holding her to his chest in a tight embrace. Much to his surprise, she didn't resist. But whether she was just too tired to fight or actually allowing it he didn't know.

"They shouldn't have died," she mumbled into his tattered shirt. "Not like that," Her body shook with involuntary sobs, her heart finally spilling her deepest fears.

"Shh..." Neo breathed into her ear as his hand returned to rubbing comforting circles on her lower back, the other holding her head as she turned her face against his neck. "I'm so sorry,"

"It's not your fault," Trinity gasped between shaking breaths, "I just..."

"I know, I know," He held her tighter and closed his eyes, willing all her pain and remorse to evaporate.

She shuddered. "I miss them so much, Neo," Her voice was so quiet, broken almost. "They were my family,"

She remembered the way Dozer was always the first one at her side when she opened her eyes after coming from the Matrix, how he was always the one to bring her food when she was too tired to stand. She remembered Mouse's excitement every time he had created a new program, always hassling her to be the first to try it. She remembered how Apoc had come to her that day in Zion asking about Switch, admitting to her that he may have fallen for the newest member of their crew.

"No," she wailed quietly as memory after memory flashed through her mind. All Neo could do right then was hold her and wait for this to pass, but he felt so helpless in doing so.

Trinity thought of the late-night talks she had shared with Switch, swapping secrets and laughing together. She was the only person Trinity had told about the Oracle's words, and Trinity was the first person to learn of Switch and Apoc falling in love. So many jokes were known between them; one word could set off peals of giggles that would only confuse anyone else. Switch was the only one on the ship other than Morpheus that Trinity had ever shown any obvious compassion for. They were like sisters, compatible in a way that is so rare to find again. These memories just brought on more hurt as she remembered that she would never be able to talk with her again, would never have anyone else so close to confide in.

She was voluntarily sobbing hard now and Neo could feel her tears wetting the exposed skin of his neck, dripping down to dampen the collar of his shirt. Her absolute sadness was contagious, and he swallowed hard around the lump forming in his throat. Trinity had known the lost members far better than he had, so there was not much console he could offer in the way of saying that everything would be fine, that they were safe now. He was sure she knew that, so it was useless to reiterate it. Besides, it was probably best to let her cry now, rather than to keep hiding her pain from everyone as he was sure she had been. That's what lead to this breakdown to begin with.

"Shh..." No real words would form in his mouth, so he stuck to trying to quiet her. It vaguely occurred to him that he had never been very helpful around crying females, as was now plainly obvious.

The two sat on the small bed, wrapped in each other's arms as comfort was given and taken. Minutes passed and after what seemed like a long while, the crying stopped and she stilled; it seemed she had given it all she had. Neo wondered absently if she had fallen asleep.

"I'm sorry," Trinity said quietly, interrupting the silence. "I...I'm not usually like this,"

She tried to pull away, but Neo kept his arms firmly in place. She looked up at him, confused. "It's okay to cry," he said as an answer to her unspoken question. "Especially over something like this," He met her eyes and grinned, trying to ignite the spark back behind the blue irises.

On impulse, Neo put one of his hands against her cheek, brushing away her remaining tears with a thumb. She was so beautiful, even in the state she was in now. As he met her blue eyes with his own, he could recall the feel of her lips against his, even for that brief moment, and he wanted to feel that again. He knew that now was not the time for that though, not yet.

Trinity watched him through swollen eyes, her heart beginning to beat faster in her chest under the look he was giving her. She had never given him a reason behind the kiss he had come back to, she had just assumed that he would leave well enough alone. The easy way out. But now, she didn't think things were going to get any easier. Especially since she could practically read his thoughts on the matter. He wanted to know. Think, Trinity, think....

He moved his hand, letting it trail down her neck as he leaned a tiny bit closer. Where his fingers touched her skin, a trail of fire was left behind. She stifled the urge to close the small distance between them as the knotting in her stomach reminded her of why he was here. He was only offering comfort, helping to ease the pain of the losses they had suffered.

This is wrong! her mind screamed, You shouldn't be doing this, not now! You should be mourning the deaths of your friends, not ready to forget it all with one touch!

Oblivious to her silent inner struggle, Neo whispered, "I heard what you said to me, Trinity,"

The woman lowered her gaze guiltily. "I don't know what you're talking about," Not now, not now...

Not taking this as an answer, he continued. "You said you loved me, and that is why I didn't die,"

"That's a pretty abrupt change of subject, don't you think?" For once, the logic in her mind refused to talk to her and she almost forced herself to get up and leave. But she didn't.

"Please listen to me, just for a second," he pleaded, not wanting her to shut him out just yet. He knew that it may not be the smartest idea to keep pushing her like this, but he had to speak what was on his mind.

She fell silent, still avoiding his eyes as they bored into her. Encouraged by her silence, he decided to keep going. "You said you loved me, Trinity, and I've come to realize that I...love you, too," He put a finger under her chin and turned her eyes up to meet his. "I think I always have, from that first time I saw you in that club even if I didn't realize it,"

Trinity was stunned. Did he...did he just say he loved me? Her mind reeled at this, making her world spin as all her long-built walls collapsed, brick by brick. She stared at him, emotions she hadn't felt in a very long time flooding through her blood.

"Please say something," Neo said quietly, searching her eyes for some unspoken acknowledgement. He now had both hands on her face to keep her from turning away.

"I..." Her mouth opened and closed, but her voice seemed to be hiding at the moment. "Neo, I -"

When she had finally gotten the courage to actually speak in coherent words, the door to her room opened. Taking the scene before him in stride, Morpheus locked eyes with his second-in-command.

Trinity instantly knew something was not right. "Morpheus," she said, fear evident in her voice, "What's wrong?"

The captain swallowed before he replied. "It's Tank..." he shook his head. "We're losing him,"

Her eyes widened with disbelief. "I thought he was going to be fine!"

Without waiting for anyone else to speak, Trinity pulled herself from Neo's arms and pushed past the man in the doorway. With renewed strength she ran down the hall to the med bay, her body shaking as this news sunk in.

Neo looked at Morpheus, his mouth agape. "What...? How...?"

Morpheus shook his head. "I don't know," He moved from the door out into the hall but turned back to say something else. "I won't ask about what I just walked in on, but I can gather enough to say that she needs you now."

"She won't let me help her," the younger man said. "She didn't answer me..."

"Neo," The commanding tone made him look up. "Go to her. I can't lose another member of my crew to hysteria, and I have a feeling she'll listen to you,"

Without a second thought, Neo jumped up and rushed after her.

Trinity didn't stop until she reached the small medical room. Tank was sleeping in the uncomfortable bed on the far wall, surrounded by tubes and poked with needles on the small amount of uncharred skin that he still had. The IV hanging by the bed dripped merrily down the line and into his arm. The only sound in the room was the beeping of the life monitor, much like the ones that took the pulse and blood pressure of the crew when they were in the Matrix. He looked so peaceful; no creases showed around his eyes, and his body seemed relaxed under his burnt skin.

"Tank," Trinity breathed, stepping closer to the bed. The man made no sound, but one of his eyes opened blearily to look at her before closing again, a signal that he had heard her. "Hey,"

"Hey," he said. His voice was not coated with pain as it had been the past few days; instead it sounded full of melancholy.

She walked to the bed and pulled a hard metal chair over for her to sit in. Subconsciously, she picked up one of his blackened hands with her own. She may not have been there to offer comfort when the other four, excluding Cypher for good reason, were passing but now she was going to help as much as she could.

Looking at him now, she felt her heart breaking all over again. He had pushed all his pain aside for them after the incident, not showing anything out of the ordinary. His only goal, just like his commanding officers', was to save Neo. And he had. But not long after, he had passed into shock and deteriorated quickly from there. His burns were much worse than any of the others thought them to be.

"Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.

"Never better," was the almost sarcastic reply, though he seemed partly truthful. Somehow, Tank sensed the unspoken question and answered it. "Let me go, Trin, please," He opened his eyes to meet hers. "I don't want to be here anymore; I'd like to join Dozer, sooner rather than later,"

Trinity shook her head, refusing to accept this. "But -"

"I've made my choice," Tank cut her off, trying to get her to see things from his point of view. "If you were in my position, with no one - nothing at all - left for you here, what would you do?"

He was met with silence, enough of an answer as anything. "You'd do the same as me," he said quietly.

Trinity nodded slowly. "I would,"

"So you understand where I'm coming from now?" His voice was soft, as though just forming the words in his mouth was tiring.

"Y -" She blinked. "Yeah,"

"Thank you," He closed his eyes. "Please, give my love to Zee; tell her that I'm sorry about all this..."

The only answer was a silent nod.

Neo watched silently from the open door. He didn't feel as though he should intrude; after all, Trinity knew Tank far better than he did. Morpheus came up behind him and laid a hand on his charge's shoulder as they both looked on while Tank slipped away.

Trinity swallowed as she kept her gaze on the man beside her. Small lines formed around his closed eyes as his lips formed a small grin. His breathing slowed and the beeping of the heart monitor followed suit. She squeezed his hand, closing her own eyes as tears began to form yet again. She would have berated herself for showing such weakness, but right now she just didn't care.

After a few agonizing seconds, the beeping stopped all together, his lungs taking in no more air. Trinity looked up at the slightly paling face of her comrade. Six, she thought numbly, Six of my friends - five of my friends are dead...This can't be happening… Her stomach was assaulted by another wave of the nausea she had been feeling earlier as his lifeless body filled her vision.

Morpheus entered the room, leaving Neo in the door. The captain quietly pulled the sheet over their remaining operator's head, gently pulling Trinity's hand from the still fingers and enclosing it with both of his. "The ship coming to our aid will be here within twenty-four hours. We're going home," He patted her shoulder and released her hand. "Everything will be all right,"

She looked up at him and nodded. Morpheus smiled sadly as he left, nodding at Neo to go inside.

"Trinity," Neo said, still in the door. He received no answer save a stifled gasp. He walked over and came to stand behind her chair. "I'm so sorry,"

Without turning around, she held her hand out to him. "Neo..."

He was at her side in an instant, wrapping his arms around her shoulders to offer the comfort she was asking for. There were no tears this time, only deafening silence.

"Let's get out of here," Neo whispered into her hair. "You need to rest,"

"I don't need to rest," she said, her attitude coming back as independence built up that wall again.

"Okay, fine. But you do need to go lay down," He loosed his hold on her, trying to lower her rising temper. "You're getting overly stressed."

She snorted. "I've been 'overly stressed' for the past nine years," Her anger was quickly diminished when she put a hand on her abdomen, the nausea hitting her again. She hated feeling this weak, she hated what the recent turn of events had done to her! Especially in front of the person she... No, she thought, don't go there, not now.

Clearing her mind, she grasped Neo's upper arm tightly, "I think you're right..."

Seeing that she was obviously not feeling well again, he helped her stand. "C'mon then,"

Once she was on her feet, she brushed off his hands as they tried to keep her steady. "I'm fine," She glanced numbly at the curves of the body under the sheet before looking away again.

Not wanting to make her angry again, Neo dropped his hands and gestured for her to lead the way. The two slowly made it back to her room. While she went inside and sat on the bed, he remained in the doorway.

As Trinity slowly dropped her head into her hands, he said, "If you need anything, you know where to find me,"

"Wait," The one word made him stop in his tracks. "Stay, please,"

"What's wrong?" Neo asked, confused yet again by her change of behavior.

"I...I just need human contact at the moment," She looked up at him with huge, lost eyes. He saw it immediately; she was scared. Just the thought of Trinity, the Trinity, the fearless one who would willingly risk her life every day for a cause everyone was fighting for, being afraid of something chilled him to the bone. It was something unheard of. Trinity was not afraid of anything, and that's how he wanted it to stay.

"Sure, okay," Concern was creased into his face as his eyebrows knitted.

"This is all my fault," she said after a moment.

Neo sat at the foot of the bed, trying to give her space but wanting to be as close as he could. "Wh -" He was cut off when she kept speaking.

"I knew there was something wrong with him," Trinity stared fixedly at her socked feet as she referred to Cypher, not willing to say his name out loud ever again. "I knew he was not cut out for this. I should have told someone - Morpheus, I should have told Morpheus - but he had so much faith in him, it seemed everyone did except for me. He was a pretty good hacker; we could make use of his skills."

Again, Neo tried to interrupt her self-incrimination but was not given the chance.

"I'm the second-in-command, Neo!" she continued heatedly, clenching her fists in her lap as the admission finally slipped from her mouth for the first time, "I should have done something about him, should have said something! But I didn't and because of my thickheaded decision, my entire crew is dead!" Her voice had gotten louder as she spoke and now she nearly screaming with hysteria.

Neo was taken aback by the venom in her words. She actually thought this really was her fault. "No," He shook his head and scooted a bit closer. "All of this was out of your control. All of it. Even if you had tried to do something, what good would it have done?"

"We could have left him in Zion, found someone to replace him," was her scathing reply.

"You don't know that," After a brief moment of hesitation, he placed his hand on her shoulder. She made no movement beneath the touch, so he went on, "You said that Morpheus had faith in him. If that's true, then he wouldn't have left him anywhere, even if you did tell him your suspicions. This is not your fault,"

"Then why do I feel as though it is?" Trinity looked up at him, her eyes searching his for an answer she knew he didn't have. This was why she was afraid, though not so much from fear. This artless, stupid emotion was brought on by guilt, pure and simple. Guilt and helplessness.

Neo was at a loss. What in the world was he supposed to say to that? "I can't tell you why you feel the way you do," he supplied gently, keeping her gaze locked with his. "But I can tell you that this time you're wrong. Nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome of this,"

She averted her eyes to the opposite wall. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know that you of all people do not make thickheaded decisions,"

His words rang true in her ears, and she suddenly felt as though a large weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Thank you, Neo,"

"You're welcome," He stood to leave, figuring she was feeling better than before. Now would probably be a good time to give her the solitude she always craved.

Trinity watched his retreating back, a strange feeling settling in her stomach. "Neo," Her voice was steady, contradicting the sudden nervousness running through her veins. "Don't go. I-" C'mon, say it, Trinity, say it! "I need you,"

Neo stopped where he was, unsure if he had heard correctly. Deep in his heart, he was wishing the words were different, repeating that she really did love him as he had all but asked her earlier. But he was willing to take I need you as a start.

Her muscles constricted anxiously as she watched his reaction but quickly relaxed as he took the few steps back to her side. As soon as he sat down, he opened his arms. Trinity willingly leaned into them, resting against his chest. Neo heard an audible sigh and he knew that she had closed her eyes. Moving slowly, he eased himself back to lean against the wall. She moved with him, quickly settling herself once more by curling in his lap to rest fully against him.

A comfortable silence fell. Minutes passed, neither moving. The ill feeling in Trinity's stomach dissipated, leaving a warmth she had not felt in a very long time. She could almost hear Switch's words in her head, telling her to do what her heart instructed and be happy for the first time in a long time, even if it meant forgetting about all of the recent events for the moment. She could see Switch smiling as she said in that sing-song voice, Trinity's in love, Trinity's in love...

She closed her eyes again in easy resignation, taking comfort in the presence she knew was there, both alive and not. Her breathing slowed, her fears subsiding for the time being. She was safe here in Neo's warm and obviously loving embrace, a shelter from the storm raging around them. A place where she could drop the mask of the soldier and be who she was.

Neo felt her body relax, her breathing deep and slow. After a while, he tilted his head to look down at her and found her to be sound asleep. He knew that nightmares would plague her subconscious, no matter how peaceful she was at the moment, and he wished to be there when she woke from them.

He sighed and rested his cheek against the top of her head. Not for the first time, it shocked him just how deep his love for her ran. This was something he had most definitely not expected when he swallowed that pill, but now something that he could not imagine ever living without.

Neo knew that the times ahead were not going to be easy for anyone, as the recent tragedies have proved, but as long as he had Trinity by his side everything would be just fine no matter what was sent his way.

These thoughts swirled around in his mind as he slowly let the much needed sleep claim him as its own.