Doctor Who Nine and Ten AU Manifesto and/or Rant

(actually, it's totally a rant)

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, BBC or any of these characters. If I did, I would not feel the need to write fanfiction about them, now would I.

· If it's long enough to be worth it, ADD IN DONNA NOBLE. She makes a great sister, cousin, boss, or girl bud. Who doesn't love her sass? But please don't set her up with the Doctor. It's just not right.

· A romantic relationship between the Tenth Doctor and Rose is greatly encouraged, but Nine? No way. We all know he never thought about Rose that way until he regenerated. And Eccleston's Doctor is just a bit too old for Rose, in my opinion.

· I love Ten/Rose. I do. But seriously? Not if he's her doctor, teacher or boss. That's just weird and messed up, people. You wouldn't be okay with that in real life.

· Jack Harkness rocks. But he's hard to write properly. Make sure to put him in a role that fits his character. And I can't stand it when people try to set him up with a companion.

· Folks. Just because they live in a different universe doesn't mean characters have to be ridiculously OOC. This has to resemble Doctor Who. You have to do more than drop in an occasional reference to let us know who these people (and Time Lords) are.

· If you are bringing together companions from Eleven and Ten, everyone loves Amy. She and Rose would make great friends. But not more than friends. Amy and Rory (and Ten and Rose of course) were meant to be. Really.

· Naming the Doctor. It should be a reference, and I love clever names. But the surname "Doctor" is frankly ridiculous and overboard. The tried and true names are generally John Noble, or John Smith. Or something unrelated, but that depends on the story. By all means, get creative.

· I love teashops. Tea is a lovely beverage. BUT BRANCH OUT, PEOPLE! If I see one more teashop named Torchwood or TARDIS, I. Will. Go. In. Sane.

· Just because these real-world versions are based off of the Whoniverse doesn't mean the real world shouldn't resemble the real world in the slightest. It is abnormal for psychiatrists to feel amazingly attached to their patients. Teachers do not give each other blowjobs before class, and they would probably be fired if they did. It is creepy, not sweet, for a customer at your TEASHOP to show up at your house with an umbrella when it's raining.

· Have these writers never had a crush? You do not incessantly worry about a casual acquaintance's well being and continuously overstep boundaries to see said acquaintance unless you are freaking EDWARD CULLEN. (sorry. Didn't mean to go off on an enraged Twilight tangent. That is a whole 'nother story.)

· OC's are a good tool to enhance your story and make it feel more natural in the real world, but a sucky main character when it comes to Doctor Who AU's. And DO NOT pair one up with the Doctor.

· I love it when there's Martha Jones. No one really cares about her, so it's nice to see her get a bit of limelight every once in a while, even if she's just there, not doing much. It's a lot better than her being excluded when everyone else is there in a real-world AU.

· The perfect Rose/Ten AU for me would be them falling slowly and softly in love. Let them be close friends for a while. And none of that crush awkwardness stuff. Rose and the Doctor should always be comfortable together.

· Bonus points if you can squeeze in some kind of reference to regeneration. No one does that, but it would rock. Tragic accident. Use your imagination.

· Besides that one kiss, we have never seen the Doctor and Rose even really make out. Don't use DW fanfic as an excuse to write steamy romance scenes.

· Why is Rose always a weaker character in the real world? I mean, she's no Donna, but she's fairly strong. Write her that way!

· The Doctor is eccentric, not a spaz.

Did you like it? Please review and feel free to suggest additions to my list!

And no, I haven't actually written an AU before. But expect one next week, so stay tuned.