Hi, everyone!
I should definitelyabsolutelyreally be working on updating things – it's been forever I can't believe it – but then I got the new game, and, you know.
I'll hopefully update other stuff… eventually? I need to stop writing other things first D:
Btw, the Turkish is from wordreference… I speak absolutely no Turkish. A teensytiny bit of Arabic (I can basically demand food, and know like, endearments) but absolutely no Turkish. Italian is also kinda iffy.
No spoilers, I think? I'm partway through the game, and all I can say is LEEOOOOOOOO WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU LEEEOOOOOO. (and by say I mean scream hysterically at random points throughout the game, accompanied with a fair amount of running Ezio to every corner of that freaking city to FIND LEO AH) Also, seriously, this game. Crazy. I love it!
Sidenote, this is either a oneshot, or chapter one of two. We shall see!
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Ezio has been chasing Leonardo for years, even long after Leonardo disappeared. This chase, it has become everything he is, become deeply entrenched in him, and the longer that he doesn't find Leonardo, the more Ezio seeks Leonardo in any aspect he can find him, desperate for any last reminders.
He was loath to leave Italia. He clung as long as he could, because Leonardo's memory lingered in the cobblestone alleys of Venezia, in the golden sunsets of Firenze, in the warm quiet of Monterigioni. Here, Ezio could at least linger by the abandoned workshop windows, look in at empty wooden floors and remember the way Leonardo lit up with new ideas. After a few years, he stayed a ways away from the windows, because if he got too close, he could see the new residents, the workshops that held no art, not even the emptiness that let Ezio repaint Leonardo's memory. The day came, though, when Ezio boarded a ship and watched the last place he'd seen Leonardo disappear over the horizon, into the ocean.
He's avoided ships. They remind him of the time he chased Leonardo all the way to the docks, strong-armed his way onboard because there was no option but to follow Leonardo. Last time, Leonardo had been waiting for him aboard the ship, radiating with happiness he couldn't contain. Last time he'd been faced with losing Leonardo, there had been a way to fight hard enough to keep him. This time, he's spent years doing everything he could, and when he boarded the ship bound for Constantinople, it was not to join Leonardo, it was to admit defeat.
He'd thought Roma was empty of Leonardo. In truth, Roma could never be as empty of Leonardo as Constantinople is. In Roma, at least there was the shadow of memories to be found in the language. At any moment, he could walk by a group of people and hear an exclamation of appassionante!, and for a blissful, bittersweet moment, be spirited back to the sunlit workshop, and the way Leonardo's blue eyes lit up as he reached for the new Codex page. These moments were so, so brief, not long enough at all, but all Ezio had were these unexpected moments when he'd stop in the middle of the street, and suddenly feel like he'd found Leonardo. It was to find Leonardo only to have him ripped away again, but at least he had that vivid memory for a moment.
In Constantinople, there is nothing of Leonardo waiting for Ezio. Arkadaşım, he'd been greeted with, words Leonardo has never spoken to him. This was not the roiling, melodious Italian they shared; here, the language arched up and down, halting and then rushing like a landslide. The words rattle in Ezio's mouth, forced into awkward, elongated slips by his voice, so used to Italian as it is. He aches for the words Leonardo used to say to him.
"How amazing!" Sofia gasps as she lifts the old book from his hands, and Ezio tries to smile, he tries. But she hands him maps and documents and answers, and he wants that from Leonardo, not this redheaded woman with bright green eyes. She's all he sees when he looks at her; there's no trace of Leonardo's memory in her bookstore. She's slid neatly into the place in Ezio's life for a genius he couldn't function without, but this void is deeper than it appears. He comes to her for answers and leaves with them; there is nothing else to be found there.
He leaves her bookshop with another old book in hand, to add to the hideout library collection. He doesn't care for reading the way Leonardo did, and this is why he helps collect books. In these old books, he finds just the softest whisper of Leonardo.
Some days, he hears Leonardo as if Leo were right behind him, leaning over his shoulder and whispering in his ear.
"Look at that craftsmanship!" he'll hear, as he stands before a potter's market stall, "the detail!" Leonardo marvels silently in his ear. This sort of thing makes him miss Leonardo. It's when he hears Leonardo's voice as he stands over a dead target, whispering "all dead deserve respect," the words that draw a "requiescat in pace," from him. It's when he hears Leonardo at times like this that he realizes how much he needs Leonardo, how Leonardo is woven into everything, even himself. He's never going to lose every last echo of Leonardo, not when he can see little reminiscences of Leonardo in himself. It's as comforting as it is heartbreaking, that Leonardo will be with him forever, in this way where he's not really here at all.
Ezio made a promise to Leonardo, years ago, even if Leonardo never knew it. Sitting at a table watching Leonardo paint, still hearing threats in his head, things targets had sworn in vehement anger, Ezio had understood that this, here, was what they were threatening. He didn't have much left to make him vulnerable, to protect, to need and care for so deeply, it would be a loss that would destroy him. I will take what matters most to you, marks had sworn to him. Leonardo was everything, obliviously and absolutely.
I promise to search for you, Ezio thought, and he could imagine the dark horror and fear he'd feel, because he felt its shadow every time someone threatened what mattered most to him, no matter where they take you, I'll find you.
No one he's ever come into contact with took Leonardo. This is all Ezio knows for sure, because he was thorough, he was careful, he was secretive. His promise still stands, though. He doesn't know what took Leonardo away, whether it was a person or a feeling or something he cannot even imagine, but Ezio would do anything to find him, go anywhere, give up anything. Nothing matters without him, not even the fact that Ezio doesn't know where he is. It doesn't matter, because he won't let that stand between him and finding Leonardo.
I promise to search for you.
"So many poets search to define what love means" Sofia remarks to him over a book of poetry one evening.
No matter where they take you.
"Sì," he says, not looking at her. He doesn't read poetry like this, because he already knows what love means to him. To him, it's a promise kept, across years and lifetimes of lost hope. He doesn't read it, because he doesn't want to know what he's missing, what it would be like to have someone who would make a promise to him, who wouldn't be able to live with losing him.
I'll find you.
Some days, he wonders whether finding Leonardo's echo in foreign cities and overheard words is as close to finding Leonardo himself as he'll ever come.
I won't ever abandon you, Leonardo had promised him once, and they may have been discussing strategies and tactical plans, but Ezio had heard something in Leonardo's voice, something he wished he'd understood. Now, all it has left him with is the hope that it's still true, that Leonardo didn't want to leave him.
Now, Ezio leaves Constantinople, because Leonardo is not here, and there are still so many more places to search. He watches Constantinople disappear over the horizon, and it reminds him of the way Leonardo had leaned on the ships railing and pointed, saying look, Ezio, look, it's Venezia!, the city that would become the place where Leonardo felt at home, the city Ezio ruined for him, bringing danger and destruction, until the day Leonardo disappeared. I'll search for you, Ezio thinks, and I'll bring you home.
Ezio closes his eyes and he sees Venezia on the horizon.
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Yeah, I dunno how I even feel about this whole thing.
Please review!
Love ya,
Sunshine