Things That Go 'Mwahaha' in the Night
Another Gundam Wing fanfiction
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I also didn't
come up with the idea for House on Haunted Hill (y'know, that scary
movie?) I'm just using the idea. I don't own the Gameboy, Mario, or Zelda.
Nintendo owns them. And nothing else mentioned in this story, either.
Notes: I'm not following the whole movie's
storyline...just the beginning, mostly. So if you haven't seen the movie I'm
not spoiling it.
Heero: Do we have to do this?
Starseeker: Yes! Now sit down and shut up!
Heero: I thought we were supposed to act!
Starseeker: Then shut up and act! Sheesh, do I have
to think of everything around here?! *Looks at the cast members*
Actually, I might have to...
Oh, and thoughts are in (parenthesis).
~Part 1: The Party~
Heero: *Mumbling to
himself* I can't believe I have to do this...
Starseeker: Heero,
we're filming!
Heero: D'oh! I
mean, *Goes to mailbox and takes out a small letter* Oh. I wonder what's inside
this letter.
*Heero opens the
letter and reads it for a minute*
Heero: An
invitation to a birthday party? But I don't even know this person. Oh well.
I'll go anyways.
~*~
*6 cars pull up
into an old dirt road. One of them has Heero and Relena in it, one has Hilde by
herself, one has Quatre and Dorothy, one has Trowa and Catherine, one has Wufei
and Sally, and Starseeker is in the last car*
Quatre: *Grumbling*
Why'd I have to get stuck with HER?
Starseeker: Hush,
we're filming!
*The cars stop in
front of two large gates. Duo is standing there*
Duo: *Muttering*
Why'd *I* have to get this part?
Starseeker: Would
everyone quit whining?!
Duo: Grrrr...
Starseeker: WE'RE
FILMING!!!
*Everyone
sweatdrops*
Duo: Okaaay
then...everyone stop the cars and get out!
*Everyone stops
their car and gets out*
Duo: Hi everyone,
I'm Duo Maxwell.
Starseeker: Like we
didn't know that...
Duo: We've got to
walk the rest of the way 'cause the road's out. *Stops and pulls out a
flashlight* Now we need some light... *Tries to turn on the flashlight and it
doesn't come on. He then hits it in his palm and it still doesn't come on*
Grrr...dumb flashlight! *Hits it against the gates, causing a loud 'clang'
noise*
*Lights come on in
the distance and everyone looks over to see a huge, creepy-looking house*
Starseeker: Did I
say turn those lights on?! Noooo, I didn't! Whoever goofed up is fired!!
Wufei: *Muttering*
That's a great effect, Maxwell.
Duo: *Shrugs* Well,
we've got light. *The flashlight lights up in his face. He fumbles with it and
then steadies his hand* Let's get moving then.
*No one moves, they're
all looking at the house*
Duo: I think I said
move, right? And no one seems to be moving. Come on, let's go.
*Everyone slowly
follows Duo to the house*
*They reach the
house, get inside, and look around. They're all in awe*
Everyone:
Oooh...aaah...
Starseeker: Guess I
picked a good setting.
Relena: Hmmph! My
house is bigger!
Starseeker: Shut
up.
*Suddenly, they
turn and see someone standing on the stairs in front of them. It's Lady Une!*
Lady Une: Who the
f-
Starseeker: Rating!
Lady Une: Fine.
*AHEM!* Who the heck are all of you?
Hilde: We were
invited for a party...
Lady Une: I don't
know any of you!
Heero: That's
pretty obvious...
*Lady Une walks
down the stairs and stands in front of everyone else under a freaky overhead
window*
*Relena looks up at
the window and shivers a little*
Relena: That thing
is creepy.
Duo: It was built
with the house. I dunno what it's supposed to mean.
Relena: It still
creeps me out. What if it breaks?
Duo: Well, it
hasn't broken yet.
*Suddenly, the
window shatters*
Everyone: AAAH!
*Scrambles to get away from the falling glass.
*Quatre pushes Lady
Une away from a huge piece of glass that could have killed her, and lands on
top of her as he falls*
Quatre: That was
close...
Lady Une: Too
close. *Pushes Quatre away from her* Get off me you pervert!
*Quatre shrugs and
walks away. A stranger appears on the stairs*
Stranger:
Congratulations.
*Everyone turns to
the stranger, who is then revealed to be Treize Kushrenada*
Treize: I don't think
Lady Une has ever said that to a man before.
Lady Une: Have you,
Treize?
Treize: Funny.
Well, now that everyone's here, let the games begin! (Said in a very creepy
way.)
Lady Une: Call me
clairvoyant, but haven't they already?
Treize: I dunno.
*Starseeker
sweatdrops. Then she looks at a large cut on her arm from the falling glass*
Starseeker: Whoever
broke the glass window is FIRED!
*Everyone
sweatdrops*
Treize: ...I forgot
my line.
*Starseeker bangs
her head against a wall*
Treize: Oh yeah!
*Clears his throat and gets back into character* Let the games begin! Oops, I
mean...
Starseeker: Just
forget it, okay? Skip the line.
Treize: Okay.
Duo: Well, this is
all nice and good but I'd like to get my money and go.
Treize: Leaving so
soon, Mr. Maxwell?
Duo: Sorry man,
this place really does creep me out!
Treize: Okay.
*Writes a check*
Duo: Thanks. *He
reaches for the check but Treize pulls it away*
Treize: First, let
me show you these. *He takes out an envelope with 11 checks in it*
Relena: What's
that?
Treize: Five...I
mean, 11 checks for 1 million dollars, made out to 'cash'.
Relena: Cool...
Heero: When do we
get the money?
Treize: 9:00
tomorrow morning. That is, if you survive the night.
Duo: That's nice.
But if you'll excuse me, I'll take my money and get outta here...
Treize: Fine, Mr.
Maxwell. You'll get your money. *Holds out the check for Duo*
Duo: Thank you.
*Reaches for the check again, but Treize pulls it away again*
Treize: You sure
you don't want to stay the night?
Duo: I'm sure. *Reaches
for the check again*
Treize: Even if you
get another million dollars?
Duo: I wouldn't
know what to do with it all. *Thinking* (Yes I would!)
Treize: Very well
then, here's your check.
Duo: *Snatches the check away* Thanks a lot. Now, see ya! *Starts to walk away
when everyone hears a noise of cranking gears*
Starseeker: What
the...
*Steel plates cover
the windows and the doors. Duo runs for the door and finds that it's already
sealed*
Duo: F-
Starseeker:
RATINGS!!!
Duo: I mean,
CRAP!!! No!! Open, open open!! *Tries pulling the plate over the door but it
doesn't work. He attacks the door and it doesn't work* Where's Deathscythe when
you need him?!
Relena: Alright
Starseeker, that's enough! I don't care HOW much you want to write this story,
I want OUT!
Hilde: Are you
happy? You've got us all scared half to death.
Starseeker: But
this wasn't supposed to happen...
Relena: Oh, yeah
right! Like I'm supposed to believe you?! You said I'd have a making out scene
with Heero in this story!
Heero: ?!
Relena: Uh...I
mean...
Heero: That's it!
Let me out of here!
Starseeker: I'm
serious! Do you think I wanted to be trapped in this freaky place?!
Hilde: But you have
your author powers! You can zap us all out of here, right?
Starseeker: The
steel plates. I can't use my author power in here.
Duo: And cell
phones don't work either.
*Everyone is silent
for a minute*
Relena: My brother
will get worried. He told me to call home when I got here! He'll come and help
us!
*Strange 'bump'
noises are heard from upstairs*
Treize: Too late,
he and Noin are already here.
*Everyone listens
to the noises for a minute*
Duo: And I bet
everyone knows what they're doing up there, too.
*Collective
coughing, looking around, whistling, and sweatdropping from Relena*
Starseeker: ...so,
what should we do now?
Duo: Panic?
Relena: Panicking
sounds like a good idea...
Hilde: I agree.
Dorothy: Good plan.
Sally: Sure.
Wufei: You're all a
bunch of weaklings!!!
*Wufei receives
death glares from all the girls*
Lady Une: *Sticking
to the script* That's enough of your sick games, Treize. I want out.
Treize: *Also
trying to stick with the script* I didn't do that, princess.
Starseeker: Would
you two SHUT UP?!
Lady Une: *Gives
Starseeker a death glare*
Starseeker:
*Returns the death glare with another*
Heero: Why is
everyone using my death glare?!
*Everyone gives
Heero a death glare*
Heero: It doesn't
work on me, I'm the one who invented it!
Relena: Can we just
get on with this?!
Sally: *Reads
through the script, nods, and walks towards Duo* Is there any way to raise
those plate things?
Duo: In the
basement. But you don't want to go down there...
Sally: Yes I do!
Duo: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes I do!
Duo: Believe me,
you don't.
Sally: Yes I do!!!
Duo: Fine, go
ahead.
Sally: You're
coming with me.
Duo: What?!
Wufei: *Starts
laughing* Hah hah hah hah hah!!!
Sally: You too,
Wufei!
Wufei: Hah hah-
what?! N-no way! I'm not going down there!
Sally: Are you a
weakling?!
Wufei:
But...INJUSTICE!
Sally: Shut up and
come on!
*Sally, Duo, and Wufei
walk into the basement*
Duo: Let's get some
power on down here... *Flips a switch for the power and the lights come on.
Glass cases in the room are illuminated. In the cases are skeletons. Sally is
unknowingly standing in front of one of these cases before the lights go on*
Sally:
AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! *Jumps into Wufei's arms*
Wufei: *Muttering*
Weakling... *Sees the skeletons* Yaaaah! Teletubbies!
Duo: Oh, them.
*Rolls his eyes*
Sally: L-let's go
back upstairs.
Wufei: *Nods and
puts Sally down*
*Duo, Wufei, and
Sally go back upstairs*
Relena: Well?
Sally: It was
horrible! The most gruesome, horrifying, nightmarish thing ever!
Heero: What was it?
Wufei: Teletubbies!
*Everyone screams*
Starseeker: I guess
no one's going back into the basement...
*Everyone agrees*
Hilde: So what do
we do now?
*Everyone sits down
to figure out what they would do next*