The Dumbing Down of Love
Prologue of sorts
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Summary: I never would have been able to predict the Hell Crona would bring to my life. This was never meant to happen. But when I see her release a quivering breath, the details cease to matter. I can't help myself, much less her.
A/n: This is in Kid's perspective. The title is inspired by a Frou Frou song. God, I love Imogen Heap. This is not a part of the music drabble collection since it was not inspired by the song, but the song fits it well. I'm considering making this a full-blown story, but if I do that don't expect an update anytime soon. Working on Clandestine and lemons and school, eheh.
Disclaimer: The owner of Soul Eateris Atsushi Ōkubo. This work of fiction is composed entirely by me. I gain nothing material by writing this and do it solely for fun. The lyrics present are from the song "The Dumbing Down of Love" by Frou Frou.
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Jaded in anger,
Love underwhelms you,
No box of chocolates,
Whichever way you fall,
And if I tell you,
Lover alone without love,
What will happen?
Lover alone without love,
Will you listen?
Lover alone without love,
Underachieving,
'cause no one's receiving,
This tunnel vision,
Is turning out all wrong,
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I never saw myself as a sexual man. It, sex, was simply a means to reproduce, and I had no interest in that. My fellow males would no doubt have found that strange, but opinions on my sexuality (or lack of) didn't concern me anyway.
Crona wasn't the sexual type, either. Even the slightest contact had her panicking. Yet beyond all the irony, one day she would lie next to me in my bed.
To both our surprise, I noticed a progressive interest within myself for her. The interest, at first, was of curiosity. What troubled her? How should her character be judged? I wanted to understand her turmoil and morality, but with understanding her, I had taken much more.
Slowly she let me know her thoughts. Reluctantly she pushed aside inner barricades to let me see her. All the while she was terrified of me seeing who and what she truly was, terrified that I'd shun her. Her reasons for letting me in were not even remotely romantic. She craved a remedy to the torment she couldn't escape (you cannot fully escape yourself after all), and she wanted me to prove that I could help. Shinigami are publicized as powerful, intelligent immortals that save the helpless and punish the condemned. However, Crona was on both sides of the spectrum.
I remember after at least a year of getting to know her, we began to fight. Now, these fights weren't clean-cut. One argument was strung out into several repeats. Mainly it was about how Crona couldn't control herself and how I tried to control too much. Our friends often became involved as well, and it was pure unnecessary chaos.
Our quarrels became physical when Crona lashed out in her craze. I always had the upper hand. She used blind fury while I used calculated tactics. She was clumsy; I was sturdy. The …sixth… (Damn that asymmetrical number!) time we brawled, however, she nearly beat me. And it ended quite differently than the many previous.
When exactly the shift took place in our relationship for it to have led to such an outcome, I honestly don't know. But when I saw her release a quivering breath, the details ceased to matter. I couldn't help myself, much less her. Not after I'd witnessed her fragile body writhe beneath mine. The way her face flared in a blush of desire had me breathing heavier. That way she'd open her mouth in unspeakable pleasure with her rosy tongue stretching out undid my proper thoughts. At the peak of pleasure, she was the display of carnality in such a beautiful form.
We were never sexual people separately, but together a rough act ensued. Technically, we still weren't sexual. At least, why we did it wasn't really sexual. It was more emotional, strangely. Just as we were previously Asexual, neither of us had a firm grasp on emotional displays.
The first time I said I loved her, she cried. I held her as she did so. Naked in my embrace and more vulnerable than I'd known her to be (and that's really saying something), she stayed that way until we fell asleep. That sleep was the first true peace either of us had experienced.
But for creatures like us, that peace can never be anything other than fleeting.