Title: Staring
Author: Gotu
Summary: Eh, pretty much a little stream-of-conciousness story about Sirius and Remus in Sirius's POV. I really am not good at summaries. Or titles. Planned as a two-shot. Oh yeah, it's SLASH.
Rating: PG? I dunno...
Disclaimer: No, don't own it, I'm not nearly creative enough. Just using the characters for my own amusement.

Right, now onto the story! (And review, please!)

I'm staring at him again. It's not my fault, though. My eyes are just attracted to him, like flies are attracted to light. Every time I enter a room, my eyes seek him out, just out of habit.

Not that looking at him is bad for me, or anything. He's most definitely a sight for sore eyes; his brownish hair that looks golden just now, because he's sitting too close to the fire, his hazel eyes that are flecked with green if you look carefully, his face that looks as though he's really in his thirties, because he's always worrying, and his unhealthily thin body, clad in shabby second-hand robes, because that's all he can afford. He has a stupid habit of frowning slightly as he reads, and half-mouthing the words he reads. He's doing it right now. Wonder what he's reading? Probably something dull, like next year's Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook, but I know that as soon as he falls asleep, I'll look for that book and read it so that when he starts talking about it tomorrow, I can say that I read it, too, and that it was rather stupid, really. The only reason I even try to do well in school is to impress him; I was the first one of the three of us to manage the animagus transformation, just to get his praise and to feel his happiness.

Oh dear Merlin he's looking this way. Did he see me staring at him? I hope I didn't look like an idiot, just sitting and watching him. Great, now I sound like a bloody schoolgirl. Ok, deep breathes, just smile and look aw… Gah! He's coming towards me! What do I do? Calm down, he's just your friend, your mate, act normal with him…

"Hey Padfoot. What's up?" Wow, that voice is lovely, so soothing and peaceful. Oh, right, he's waiting for an answer.

"Er, nothing. Why d'you ask?" Oh great, my voice sounded totally unnatural. Why, WHY did I have to pick him to fall in love with?

"Oh, no reason. I thought you were staring at me, is all," he said lightly. Shit! He did see me!

"Er, yeah, I was just, you know…" Does he? No, of course not, finish the sentence, you dolt!

"Spacing out?" he asks.

"Yeah! Yeah, that's it. I was getting bored of this stupid essay," I motion the four lines on the long roll of parchment in front of me. He smirks slightly.

"Wow, I can see you've really been slaving away, eh?" I blush, but he continues, saying, "D'you want me to help you? Because I've already finished that essay. Let's go up to the dorm, then?" I only nod, my mind not comprehending anything other that his offer to go up to our room. God, what's happened to me? Our last year here, and I go and fall in live with my best friend Remus Lupin. A very male best friend. It's so wrong, so unnatural, and yet, here I am, a bleeding homosexual, and in love with a male werewolf. Life's a funny thing, isn't it?

He sits himself down on his bed with sleek elegance that only comes so naturally to a werewolf. I, on the other hand, had to practise and perfect that sort of elegance. I suppose I can thank my parents for at least one thing other that my good looks. I make to sit on my bed, which is to the right of his, but he pats the space right next to him, indicating that I should sit on his bed. Numbly, I sit down, conscious that I'm blushing slightly. He smiles gently, and pushes my books to the opposite side of his bed. I have a confused look on my face, I'm sure, because he answers my unasked question.

"Sirius, you know I'd just let you copy my essay tomorrow morning. You're preoccupied. What's wrong?" I blanch. How does he know? I can't just blow this off with another lie, because just can't lie to him. It's something I've never been able to do.

"I – I uh, er, I—"

"Yes?" Arg, I can't take this anymore! I've never been in love before, and trust me, if someone had warned me that it would be so painfully hard, I would have opted to have my soul sucked or something so I wouldn't have to feel this. I take deep breathes again. What's the worst that could happen, after all?

Oh right, he could think I'm a freak and never talk to me again, and tell the whole world that I'm queer, and I'd be shunned for the rest of my life. Damn.

Well, here it goes.