Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. "But when he grows a pair, he can call me back~" I don't own that song either (and it does not reflect my view on the character...well, not most of the time, anyway ^^).
Enjoy!
P.S. And wow, I updated. This is shocking. :D Forgive me! :)
Rin watched as Shippo, Miroku and Sango forced themselves with great difficulty across the dead earth where lush grass had once sprung up to greet the feet of a group of young strangers brought together by fate. She felt her heart skip a beat; she had been forced to stay put in the storage shed near where Kaede's hut had once stood. Kohaku sat at her side, staring at nothing in particular; she wondered why he still seemed so sad. Rin was worried about Kagome and Inuyasha too, but she had faith that they would return safely. Inuyasha was Lord Sesshomaru's brother after all! He had to be very strong too!
Still, as she sat outside the shed, kicking her feet in the dirt, she couldn't help but worry at the discouraged look clouding the gazes of her friends. The past three days, the monk, the demon slayer, and the little fox demon rarely moved from their vigil over the spot which had once been a well. Rin wasn't sure what the importance of that old well was, but everyone was extremely worried over its disappearance; she had never seen someone look as determined as Inuyasha did when he dove straight into the meidou without a second's hesitation.
As they got closer, she couldn't bear to wait anymore; Jaken always scolded her and called her a nosy little brat, but this was important! She had to find out if the dog demon and his girlfriend had returned!
"Sango! Miroku! Shippo!" she called, standing up and excitedly brushing the dust from her clothes. Her little legs carried her quickly to where they were walking at a snail's pace.
"Rin," Shippo breathed, his voice a dull thud compared to the enthusiasm she had used to call their attention.
"Are they back? Huh? Are they?" she smiled desperately; she couldn't let them know she was scared.
Kohaku was now standing, following Kaede, who had been praying to herself for the safety of their missing friends for what had seemed the entire three days of their absence. Their faces displayed the anxious worry Rin worked with great difficulty to suppress.
"Inuyasha came back," Shippo finally spoke, his eyes registering the relief wash over everyone's faces with a flicker of sadness.
"Where is he, child?" Kaede asked, stepping forward with a greater vigor in her pace.
"…he wanted to be alone…" Shippo added, tears beginning to form and catch in his lashes.
Sango knelt down and began to rub his back; he sniffled, attempting to regain his composure, as men were supposed to do.
"Kagome didn't return with him," Miroku finished, hardly able to hide the disappointment in his own voice.
"Why?" Rin couldn't hold back this time.
"We don't know," Sango whispered gently, "But Inuyasha said that she was safe. I'm sure she's alright now."
"She belongs here, with us," Shippo sniffed, "We were going to have so much fun, now that Naraku's gone and everything…"
"So…she didn't return?"
Rin turned around quickly at the sound of that comforting voice. She supposed it must have sounded cold and harsh to some; like talking to an ice cube…freezing and with a firm, definite shape. But she didn't see him that way at all. He was just so clever that no one else could understand his emotions. Sometimes she caught a glimpse of his smile, when he seemed to offer a frown. He couldn't put his trust in people easily, but Rin could tell that he trusted his brother, Inuyasha, and his friends. Deep inside, she knew he didn't hate them, much as he acted like it.
"Sesshomaru…" Miroku let the name escape from his dry lips.
"Yes…you're correct," Sango confirmed, standing tall despite her quivering shoulders.
"Hm…and my…brother?" he nearly spit that last word, as though the very concept made him sick to his stomach.
"He did return…" Miroku couldn't finish; he didn't want Sesshomaru to bother Inuyasha when he needed to be alone.
The beautiful dog demon made no reply; it seemed he was honestly asking out of mere curiosity, as his gaze lacked concern.
Rin watched as he turned his back to them, yet again. She could feel a certain degree of sorrow wash over him; he would never let it show, but there was a part of him which sympathized. Perhaps he understood.
As he walked away, carelessly kicking up clouds of dust, Rin wondered why he hadn't been around much the past few days. What had he been doing all this time? Not with the others…
She had hoped that after the battle with Naraku they could all be together…
…like a family.
The chill of the night air was welcome to the dog demon as he glided between the trees; the young women of the village, whom he could scent from where they hid in the sparse bushes, marveled at the magnificence of his silver hair as it shone under the moon shadow peeking through the now bare branches. They were clearly embarrassed for thinking a frightening demon to be attractive, but they knew he was different. After all, he had helped save the village!
Ignoring the spike in their odors, he continued to search the breeze for a very different scent; once he caught the powerful stench, a mix of strength and sickening gentility, it carried him soundlessly to his little brother. The half-demon sat in the branches of a large tree; he noticed the wood was marked with a large scar. Sesshomaru had heard of this tree, maybe he'd even visited it once before, he couldn't bother to remember; the Goshinboku…the Tree of Ages, it was called.
He approached slowly, but with enough arrogance to warrant the sudden, fierce glare of his brother. That look softened with a second's time to digest the scene before him; Sesshomaru supposed he was too tired to put up a fight.
"What do you want, Sesshomaru?"
The dog demon didn't answer at first, but touched the wood, almost gently. He knew some things in the world were owed a degree of reverence.
"So…Inuyasha, you failed to bring back that foolish woman of yours?"
He heard the half-demon draw in a quick breath.
"I didn't fail to do anything!" his brother's tone was vicious and desperate; Sesshomaru knew he would touch a nerve, so he welcomed the anger. It was moments before he finished, and in what was almost a whisper, a confession, he concluded. "I…I let her stay. In her own world."
Sesshomaru didn't react.
"You let her stay? But brother, I thought it was your intention to mate with that woman…"
His brother flinched a bit.
"Even Naraku knew your weakness for that pathetic human."
He wondered if he had asked the question merely to elicit a rise from his volatile brother; still, his curiosity kept him intrigued. Though he had insulted that girl, the dog demon couldn't deny that she had a lot of spirit; in some ways she resembled Rin. But Inuyasha didn't deserve to see his true opinions. It was beneath a demon to offer his honest thoughts to one of such little worth as a half-man.
It was silent for what would have seemed like ages to an onlooker; for Sesshomaru, it was a mere matter of seconds before the half-demon answered.
"I care about that girl – about Kagome, more than anything. That's why I let her go…for now…" he added hastily; Sesshomaru was shocked to find his brother was not even blushing, even as he revealed such an intimate thing. Well, it was always obvious to everyone else, he supposed.
"For now?"
"I know...we'll see each other again someday. But I had to leave her. I'm not the only one who needs her. In the end, I realized that her happiness means more to me than my own…"
But he wasn't surprised, as he finished, that he was alone once again. If he couldn't see Sesshomaru's hair flash in the distance, he would have thought his imagination was at work. He leaned back against the wood of their tree. It was theirs; the Goshinboku had brought him and Kagome together. He couldn't bear to go back yet…not when all he wanted was to think of her. He felt, being there, that he was closer to Kagome; the scent of her tears as she ran from him into her mother's arms still stung in his nostrils. In those moments, he knew that she mattered a lot to more than just him; he couldn't be selfish anymore, not after all she'd done for him. For the first time, he was proud of his decision, no matter how much it had hurt.
She really had changed him.
"Kagome…" he whispered, his golden eyes fluttering in an effort to keep from succumbing to dreams, "…I hope you're happy. That's all I want. As long as you're safe…maybe one day…"
Sesshomaru watched Rin's chest rise and fall with each little breath.
He couldn't feel his own pulse as he watched; this tiny life always managed to captivate his attention. It frightened him.
This little girl…
He had watched her die twice, and watched her breathe again both times…
Why did she mean so much?
He couldn't even admit that to himself. He was above such feelings.
And yet…
After she was sent to hell, he had begun to ponder what a future with her meant; she was so small, so vulnerable…
Human. Something he could not understand.
It was true, Naraku was dead. Her life would be in much less danger. But that didn't change the difficulties of life with a demon. Plus, she would only slow him down…
"I care about that girl…more than anything. That's why I let her go…"
Inuyasha's words pulsed through his conscious.
The more he looked at Rin, the more he thought.
She felt his eyes upon her, even while asleep.
Soon she was looking into them; the gaze of the one she depended on.
The one she understood.
"Rin."
She sat up a little, quietly, so as not to wake Kohaku and Kaede. They needed their rest.
"Lord Sesshomaru…? What is it?" she whispered softly.
The moonlight shone in through the door; she caught the glimmer in his face. Something was wrong.
"What's wrong?"
He looked away for a moment, his eyes resting upon Jaken, who was half hidden in a bale of hay against the wall.
"Rin…I'm leaving now."
"But Lord Sesshomaru, we have to wait for Kagome to get back! What about…?"
"Rin," he cut her off.
She frowned a little.
"What is it, Lord Sesshomaru? Please tell me!"
"Rin, you are not coming."
Her heart sank. Not coming? But…he was her home…
"But…! No…why can't I come…? I…"
"Rin. Stay here."
Tears filled her soft brown eyes; something pulled inside of him. He hadn't felt that before…not ever. He didn't like it.
"Rin…I want you to stay. You have to learn to live among humans."
"But…Lord Sesshomaru…you're my home…"
Neither knew why, but suddenly the cold dog demon was on his knees, hugging her little frame as close to him as he could.
"Rin…this is your home."
She sniffled; burying her face in his kimono. Her shoulders shook.
"I'll be back, Rin. Don't waste your tears. This isn't goodbye."
The little girl smiled a bit; Sesshomaru hadn't said so many words to her at once. He felt her nod against his chest.
"No more tears, Rin."
It was a command she could obey; she leaned away reluctantly, wiping the offending wet drops from her eyes.
"Will you be back soon?" she asked eagerly.
"…only when I know you are happy here."
"Then I'll be happy all the time!" she gave him the biggest smile he'd ever seen upon any face, human or demon.
Sesshomaru nodded.
"It's a promise, then."
He stood, and after grabbing Jaken from his place of rest, with a certain degree of hesitation, he glided outside of the shed.
No glances back.
But Rin had to see him one last time.
Running into the chilly breeze of the night, she watched as his fluff billowed behind him in the wind, his strong, lithe form moving through the air like a cloud. She smiled as she listened to the sounds of Jaken's protests and desperate attempts to hold onto his master.
"It's a promise, Lord Sesshomaru. Don't forget about me," she whispered, wiping the moisture from her eyes so that he wouldn't smell her tears.
"In the end, I realized that her happiness means more to me than my own…"
Inuyasha's words resounded in the daiyoukai's head as he lost himself in thought.
Perhaps wanting another person to be happy wasn't so impossible, after all…
Aww! This story was very bittersweet to write: one, because it's the first thing I've written in a while, but it's not very good due to my lack of practice, and two, because to me it was kind of cute, but also a bit sad.
I didn't think about how difficult it must have been for Sesshomaru to leave Rin with Kaede when I finished reading the manga, and overlooked it again after watching the anime (guess I'm too obsessed with Inuyasha and Kagome's relationship...eh-heh). I thought it would be interesting to see how he handled it, and thought it could show how he himself has grown over the course of the series. He was a hard character to write, but it was fun getting outside of my comfort zone!
I know a lot of people out there are fans of the Sesshomaru X Rin pairing; if I'm being honest with myself, I guess I've imagined in the past that they might end up together when she's older. However, in my post-manga universe, I really see Sesshomaru as being more of a father, guardian sort of figure. I think he would do anything for her; in the end though, I am pairing her with Kohaku. I think they are so cute together - plus they're close to the same age and they have been through quite a bit of suffering - if I remember correctly, Rin's family was murdered, and Kohaku murdered his family, under Naraku's control of course, but this unites them.
I could see Sesshomaru being confused about his feelings for Rin; but overall, the feeling which I believe triumphs is the desire to see her happy and safe. In this way, I hoped for Inuyasha and Sesshomaru to be similar. I personally like the idea that Inuyasha helped Sesshomaru make his decision, in the end.
Aw, and I love InuKag, so I couldn't resist putting some in the story (even if we only see Inuyasha). I can't wait to write more fics with their family! :)
Thank you so much for reading this story! Please leave me a review if you'd like (they make me really, really, really, really, REALLY happy ~) and let me know things that you enjoyed, didn't approve of, parts you wanted to give me a love-tap through the screen (you have mail: slap), OoC alerts, fluff spasms, milk, eggs, detergent (Oh, look I've made a grocery list...).
Anyway, I appreciate your taking time to read this (and if you've read this author's note, you have my respect, good sir/madame!), and I wish you the best of luck in your own writing endeavors!
Have a great day!
Bye bee :3
TohrutheGreat
