Ok, so I've been obsessed with the Hobbit lately. I hated the animated version as a kid. However, I've seen the three extended LOTR multiple times. I read the first book and half of the second before losing interest. I read the Hobbit because I loved the movie so much. When I get obsessed, I get obsessed, so I'm going to be reading LOTR books over again and more Tolkien. I've started learning Quenya, but just started, so I apologize if my grasp on the language is still shaky.

Main reason for obsession? Ridiculously photogenic dwarves. So, this is about my favorite of said dwarves. Kili. How he came to be so skilled at his bow. AU in that their mother dies and I'm pretty sure Kili never went to live with elves.

Oh, Thannor seems like a Gary Sue at first, but he becomes more developed later.

There came a sickness in the Blue Mountains when Kili was in his youth. It crept along the earth and brought with it the stench of death and the clamor of cries. First struck the fever, then diarrhea and vomiting, until the infected dwarf no longer had the strength to beat his or her heart. The sickness always killed, and contact with one of the dead always led to sickness. However, only the dead were infectious, as if the sickness only left when it drained all of the life from its host.

As the dwarves were normally hardy people with high immunity, this was the only sickness caught, and so a fever foretold of death. Relatives rolled the bodies of the sick in sheets and threw them into the trash heap before death set in.

Kili and Fili had come home from a hard day working in the mines up the mountain from their port city of Kheledûl. They worked hard for all of their food and rent, as they lived with their mother only. Lately, the two had been starting to get into mischief, as boys were wont to do before they come of age, and getting into trouble. Kili was and felt particularly guilty, as he knew his mother was tired and could do nothing to stop her sons. Still, he found he could not help himself from playing pranks with and on Fili. Now, he was happy to bring back a sack of meat and potatoes for his mother in repentance for having disgraced her the day before.

Their beloved mother was not in the kitchen, nor was she doing the washing, nor was she knitting or sewing in the parlor. Kili and Fili looked around for her and almost wrote it off as one of her social spells with the neighbors. However, Fili checked her bedroom and gave a shout. Kili felt his heart tighten and bolted through the stone apartment, shoving open the wooden door.

His heart tightened painfully as his brother knelt next to his mother. Her blonde hair was damp with sweat. Kili stepped forward slowly. Her blue eyes caught his dark eyes and smiled in spite of her pain and fate. He knelt beside his brother at his mother's side and reached to push her hair out of her eyes, but stopped when he realized how dirty his hand was. He drew his hand away and felt his face twitch with sorrow.

"Mother," Fili whispered, clasping her hand tightly in his own, "How did you catch this illness?" Their beloved mother blinked back tears from her oh so familiar brown eyes.

"It was a day or two ago," she rasped, "A baby was lying in a heap of trash and I picked him up and held him as he died. I could not leave him alone. The fever followed a few hours after, and nausea accompanied it, but I didn't want you to worry."

Kili wiped the dampness from his eyes and shuddered as he watched his mother dry heave into a basin. He filled her glass with water from a pitcher at her bedside and left the room.

Leaning against the archway of the kitchen, he rubbed his face and breathed deeply. They needed to call Thorin and tell him of the sickness. There was no use of buying a space in the mausoleum. No funerals were given to the sick. She would not rest beside their father, killed in battle. She might not go to the final resting place.

Kili punched the stone wall and ignored the throbbing pain of his knuckles and wrist. He pulled off his gloves and washed the soot and dirt off his hands to start supper. Everything went into a pot for soup in some form or another.

Kili brought a bowl to his mother, letting Fili take a break and gather his thoughts. His mother's once plump and full face had already shrunken due to dehydration. When he handed her the bowl, she simply placed it beside her on the table.

"Kili, my son," she whispered with a smile, "I'm dying. I don't need to eat food anymore."

"Mom," Kili rasped, a tear streaming down the side of his face. She wiped it off gently and patted his thigh.

"You've grown into such a good hearted young man and for that, I am proud," she whispered, "But you still are fresh and unfamiliar with death. You were very young when Smaug drove us out of Erebor and when we fought the Orcs in Moria. You have never known a homeland. In the years to come, you will be called upon to fight. I have no doubt you will do us proud. I love you, Kili."

"Ds!" Thorin said loudly as he burst into the apartment, followed by Fili, "Sister."

Kili's mother smiled and held out her hand. Thorin grasped it in his larger hand and knelt by her bedside. Kili stood and left the room, letting his uncle say his goodbyes.

Fili sat in the parlor, staring forward. Kili took up a place opposite of his brother. Thorin came out after a wait with tears drenching his beard.

"You two are my sister-sons," Thorin said quietly, "You are the next in Durin's line as well. My sister is nearing her death from the sickness. I will help you bring her to the quarantined area to say our final goodbyes. Then you may come and live in my halls until you wish to leave."

Fili nodded. However, his younger brother stared into the carpet, his brown eyes ablaze. He could not leave his mother on a heap of trash to die alone.

So when they finished carrying the sickly woman to the trash heap, he remained in the darkness, amidst the dying, to hold his now incognizant mother. The brunette drew upon his inborn strength and carried his mother outside of the Kheledûl gates, into a lonely mountain cave.

The cave was cold, dark, and dank, and clouds soon covered up what little light the moon wrought. Rain began to fall softly, drenching the stone just outside of the cave. Kili held his mother's shuddering body to his chest, wrought with grief, all alone in the darkness to face his inevitable fate.

The lightning and thunder struck the forests below. The dwarf boy soon lost feeling in his legs and his arms began to meld with the stone floor of the cave. His mother's ragged breathing was the only thing to let him know she was still alive. Her face was pale with a sheen of sweat and sickness.

She died hours before dawn, her heart giving out against the tyranny of the sickness. Kili sobbed and rocked her back and forth in his arms. She had been his whole world so far, his only close kin. She had been his homeland. Now, she was gone and he was without a center. As he composed himself and arranged her body on the cold stone ground, he realized that he would not need a center, as the sickness would come for him next. He only lamented that he would not be with his brother.

He began to stack rocks on top of his mother's soft body. A dwarf was born of mountain and returned to the mountain when life left again. Each rock atop her body dragged strength from his limbs. Each rock solidified his knowledge that he had needed to help her. He continued to pile rocks until multiple layers covered her and no beast would be able to feast on her. He would not receive the same luxury.

By the time he finished, he felt the heat of fever upon him. The brown-eyed dwarf threw up his dinner from the night before. Thirst tore his throat. Despite his aching joints, Kili strode down the mountain to the forest for water. Several times, a roiling cramp in his gut drove him to his knees, forcing him to heave painfully.

He reached the river Lh n at the end of his muscles' strength as the sun began to pinken the sky. Collapsing on his knees, he drank deep from the water and lay beside its pebble-strewn banks. His eyes watched the smooth water twist just feet away from his face. He placed his hand in the water and marveled at how cool it felt. It felt like Smaug had taken residence in his head and wiping his wet hand across his forehead quenched the fire.

The dwarf boy peeled his leather vest and boots off and sank into the gently rushing stream. It lapped over his heated flesh, washing the dirt and soot from the mines and mountains off him. He drank the water as it floated past.

Slowly, his brain melted away in delusions and hallucinations as the fever destroyed his thoughts. Orcs, dragons, and trolls tore at the dark behind his eyelids. His mother gasped her last breath and begged him to come with her. Still, he refused to submit to the darkness. His heart beat firmly in his veins and he kept swallowing air. Even as fluids left his body, he gulped water from the river, refusing to let the painful, exhausting vomiting deter him. He clung to the shore, eyes fastened on the mountains, where he had come from. By now, his brother would have missed him. They would find his mother missing from the dead. They would think him dead.

He began to hear voices. Some were familiar and some were quite strange to him. Something gripped his shoulders and began to pull him away, but he protested moving his aching hot body from the numbing chill of the river, where water was plentiful to quench his thirst. He twisted his shoulders out of their grasp and sunk weakly back into the water, even further into the stream. The arms turned supportive, held his body against the pulling water, and simply stroked his hair. Kili could accept that. Each petting motion seemed to drag some of the ache and heat from his body.

He soon grew very cold and the numbing cold that had been so soothing was now driving shudders deep into his body. His teeth chattered inside of his skull. This time, the arms gripped him beneath his legs and shoulders and lifted him from the water as if he weighed nothing. He groaned and shivered some more, so those arms gently wrapped a large blanket around him and carried him away. The motion was a smooth rocking motion and smelled of horse and lilacs. Kili drifted to sleep.

The brown haired young dwarf creaked open his eyes to allow in the flood of soft white light. He wondered if he was dead. Rolling over, his spine cracked and the smell of clean forests came into his nose. He rubbed his eyes and felt sweat on his face. One hand made it up to his hair and felt the terrible knot his long brown tresses had tangled. Surely, heaven didn't come with nasty earthly businesses like combing hair?

His eyes opened completely and he took in a white bedspread and open, airy bedroom. Sunlight poured in through many large, open windows on both sides of the room. Trees surrounded the room. The sound of birds was overwhelming and green was a predominant color outside the window. He breathed deep the fresh air and began to wonder about how he lived.

"Ah, Master Dwarf, you have awakened," an angelic voice came from the entrance of the room. Kili jerked his head around toward the source. Two very tall male elves with silver blonde hair stood in the doorway. The one who had spoken was much older, adorned in flowing robes of aristocracy. His companion appeared only a few hundred years old, only a scant past adulthood in elven years, dressed in more common clothes suitable for hunting and training. Kili looked them back and forth. They were exquisitely beautiful, almost feminine, and well kept. He keenly felt his disheveled hair and unwashed presence.

"I'm Kili," Kili said, then demanded, "Who are you and why am I here?"

"I am Arveldhir," The elder said calmly, taking no noticeable offense at the impudent adolescent, "My son Thannor found you imbibed with sickness in the river and brought you back to our village, Lorlondëë. You have been asleep for several days. We were hoping you could explain to us how you came to reside in our river."

"Your river?" Kili asked, dark brows furrowing. Arveldhir smiled gently, but his words and explanations carried cold meanings.

"We have an agreement with your King, Thorin, when the dwarves entered that they would stay in the mountains and leave the forests untouched," the elder elf said quietly, but firmly. Kili stared down at his hands.

"Do you know of the sickness that is ravaging the dwarven community?" Kili asked. Arveldhir and Thannor exchanged worried glances.

"We had been made aware of an epidemic, but we do not know the extent or the details," Arveldhir said as he folded his pristine hands in front of him. Kili breathed deeply and felt grief tear at his heart over his mother and guilt over leaving his brother and uncle.

"There is a sickness going around that is passed through contact with the dead," Kili started, swallowed, and continued, "Only through the dead. Once you contract the disease, you are supposed to die. Everyone who catches it dies. You get fever and vomiting until your strength is gone. So, our sick have been placed on a garbage heap to die alone so the illness doesn't spread."

"And then they don't go to the dwarf afterlife," Arveldhir murmured, "Such a deplorable act, but there is nothing for it."

"So, you contracted the illness?" Thannor asked in a light, melodic tone, the first words he spoke. Kili looked up at the young elf and nodded.

"My mother was in bed, ill, yesterday when I returned from the mines," the brown eyed dwarf murmured, "She had the disease. My brother, Fili, and I were the only close family living with her. Our uncle Thorin, who was our mother's brother and only surviving relative in vicinity, told us we had to take her to the dump and then go back with him to his halls. My brother went, but I stayed behind and carried my mother out into a mountain cave. When she died, I buried her in rock so she could go on to the afterlife. I immediately became violently ill and, in my delusions, found the mountain stream and climbed into it. In all rights, I should be dead." Kili murmured and balled his hands into fists.

"Fascinating," Arveldhir murmured, "I very much desire you to train under the elves in combat. Your inner strength is quite rare. You must stay for a year or so."

Kili froze before bursting out, "There's no way I'd stick around to learn from a bunch of snotty elves!" Arveldhir narrowed his eyes, but Thannor barely suppressed a smile. The corners of his mouth just barely rose and a tell tale glisten appeared in the elf's eyes.

"Your lack of civility, tact, and discipline leave much to be desired though," the elder elf said haughtily, "We will send word to your kin though, that you are safe. They will have to pay the fine established in the treaty before you may return to your village."

Kili's eyes widened and he shuddered. He could not bear the thought of his misadventure adding even more burden to his family. The fine was large, even for his wealthy uncle. He had already done enough to hurt them. He rubbed his temples and stared at the white bedspread.

"I have already hurt my family enough," he admitted quietly, "If I agree to study under the elves, will you allow me to return without a fine?"

Arveldhir smiled. He had been hoping for this.

"If you study under the elves, learn our ways, and become civilized in one year, you may return home with the fine excused," he purred slyly.

Kili breathed in deeply, "I agree."

"I will prepare a contract for you to sign," Arveldhir said, before turning to Thannor, "You will be under the watch and guidance of my son. He will commence with your first lessons immediately."

With that, the elegant elder elf swept out of the room, closing the door behind him. Thannor smiled lightly and stepped forward.

"I apologize for my father. He's a bit stiff and rigid," The blonde said in a friendly manner, standing next to the bed. Kili looked down to stare at the covers. His heart ached with guilt and sorrow.

"You need to bathe, as the river didn't quite manage to clean you off," Thannor started, but first reached out to touch beneath Kili's chin to make him look up. Chocolate brown eyes met with grey eyes brimming with kindness and empathy.

"Elves emphasize above all else cleanliness of body and of spirit," the blonde said softly, "And you can not be clean if you do not relieve your mind of guilt. You may freely seek counsel with me. Putting voice to your troubles may do wonders in relieving them."

Kili shot the elf a false crooked grin, "It's fine. I just need some time. I also wish to send a letter to my brother to apologize for up and leaving him. He's probably grief stricken right now."

"Aye," Thannor said as he turned and opened the side table, pulling a quill, parchment, and a bottle of ink from the drawer, "Write something and I will give it to ada-nin to send with his letter."

Kili took the quill, bit his lip, and quickly jotted down a message in sloppy script. Thannor stared out the window as he hunched over the side table, furiously scrawling out his explanations and apologies. Finally, he signed the parchment and set it aside to dry. Thannor held out a hand and helped Kili out of the bed.

Kili stumbled slightly at the rather tall bed. He stood up straight and felt his heart sink. He had been fully grown for several years now, and the only thing that set him apart from adult men was his inability to grow out a beard. Now that he had gotten out of bed, he could compare his real height to the elf beside him. He only came up to mid chest on the elf and probably would be substantially shorter than most elves with his four and a half feet.

Thannor's eyes sparkled as he started towards the door, "I confess I have taken an interest in you. You are quite unique."

Kili glanced around and scratched the back of his neck, "I dunno what you're talking about. I'm just an average dwarf."

"Not quite, you haven't put up quite the fight we expected," Thannor explained as he led the way down a set of elegantly crafted spiral stairs, "Ada-nin was expecting a tirade of foul language and threatened bodily harm. However, we only received a bit of sass on your part, which is generally acceptable, although not with esteemed elders such as Arveldhir. Now, as a rule, elves are private, polite, and poised. There are a few cases where it is ok to let loose your humors, although usually for your age mates and familiars."

Kili rolled his eyes slightly and simply took in the city of Lorlondë. While his uncle spoke so negatively about the rivaling elf city, the civilization blended seamlessly and beautifully with the forest. The wooden towers and hallways seemed to grow from the trees they were crafted around, under, and up into. Small rivulets and streams cut through the city, cascading into fountains and flowing into the various buildings. It appeared sparsely populated, with only a few elves peacefully moving between buildings, some riding tall white horses. The streets contrasted starkly with the bustling and busy dwarven streets and markets full of sound and cheery singing and fast tempers.

He felt decidedly filthy in comparison to the rest of the inhabitants. Mining was a dirty job, so the dwarves did not mind the dirt. It was akin to being closer to the mountain and to gold. Appearances did not matter in the dwarven community. There was no such shame. However, Kili felt his first ever experience with self-consciousness and longed to take a good bath.

Despite that longing, he froze like a stone when Thannor led him into a public bathhouse. His eyes grew wide and horror overcame him.

Thannor watched as a blush colored Kili's skin under the coating of dirt and cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Is there something wrong?" the blonde asked delicately. Kili bit his lip as his eyebrows knitted together. He folded his arms over each other and covered his mouth thoughtfully, before looking back up at the blonde elf, who seemed entirely too amused at the dwarfling's reaction.

"Don't you people have private baths?" he asked, "Or are you fond of flapping genitalia all around your business?"

Thannor tilted his head back and laughed in a high, crystalline tone. It was a genuine laugh, surprisingly. After composing himself, Thannor lightly patted Kili's shoulder.

"We do not flap our genitalia around when we bathe," the elf chuckled, "Rather we do not see nudity as something of which to be ashamed. There is nothing vulgar about bathing. Our eyes remain averted from said regions. Also, socializing in the nude is shown to build kinship."

"Ah," Kili said, still taken aback, "Well, how do you ensure the cleanliness of the water? If my brethren were to all jump into a bath together, we would probably leave dirtier than we got in."

"The water is constantly being cycled," Thannor explained, "It comes from a rivulet, passes through a heating room, and floats out the other side. Besides, one usually takes a few minutes to remove excess filth using a basin before entering the bath," he eyed the dirty little dwarf up and down, "And it seems you will be needing to do this, so let us go into the back room." He led the way through the main bathing room into a smaller back room lined with stones. It contained a bench facing a mirror, where two elves sat with towels around their waists as they dipped sponges into basins and scrubbed their skin with fragrant water.

In addition, along the narrowest wall, another bench sat beneath a trench, into which water flowed in waterfalls from aqueducts several feet above the trench. Holes were cut from the trench, and one elf was sitting on the bench, leaning his head through the hole beneath one of the waterfalls, letting it cascade onto his hair.

Several storage shelves lined the wall opposite of the bathing bench. Some contained towels, some basins, and some were apparently for placing clothing in while one bathed. Thannor placed a small, leather backpack onto a shelf and began to pull his boots off.

Kili paused until Thannor sent him an expectant look, then he sighed loudly and began to rip his boots off. They were waterlogged and ruined anyway. The belt on his tunic was likewise useless and was hurriedly removed. His cotton shirt smelled like sweat and filth, as were his leggings. Kili still did not know where his coat had gone. He hurriedly wrapped a towel around his waist, trying to expose as little as possible.

"Your embarrassment is kind of charming, actually," Thannor said with a half grin as he wrapped a towel around his own waist, "All dwarves I've met have been rugged, manly, and without any apparent cognizance of self-image."

Kili glared at the elf, who shrugged and handed him a bar of soap, a sponge, and a basin. The brunette sat on the bench and began to scrub the filth off him. However, he found that the sponge fell apart after a few good scrubs. With a shrug, he began to lather with his hands, splashing water on himself and watching as rivulets of mud began cascading off him. The elves washing themselves daintily tried not to stare, but their shock and curiosity overcame their politeness.

Thannor was laughing in his chest at the scene. The dwarf was acting like a small elfling in his enthusiasm. He gently sponged the sweat off his own skin, sitting several feet away from the lean little dwarf splashing water and suds in a two feet radius around him. Thannor waited until no more dirt ran off the brunette's skin before showing him where to put the supplies. Looking the little brunette up and down, the elf was pleased that he cleaned up nicely.

"Here, I'll wash your hair," the elf said casually. Kili froze again and his guide began to wonder if this would be a regular occurrence.

"What?" Kili asked, utterly bewildered. Thannor grabbed the dwarf's shoulder, and pushed him to sit on the bench beneath a waterfall.

"It's not that bad, Master dwarf," Thannor said shortly, scooping up the long brown tresses and pushing the brown head into the neck holder. Nervous chocolate eyes blinked beneath thick eyelashes and Thannor had to take a breath and remember he was dealing with an adolescent from an entirely different culture. Patience, patience, patience.

"My culture is very tactile, so I apologize if these seem strange to you," Thannor said softly, using his fingers to comb through the now floating brown hair. Dirt came out in rivulets. As the gentle hands massaged his scalp and tugged on his hair, Kili slowly began to relax, his long eyelashes fluttering shut. Thannor combed out the knots and squeezed out a good majority of the moisture, letting Kili stand up.

Thannor had mercy on Kili and did not make him bathe in the communal bath yet, as it would require complete nudity. Instead, he handed the dwarf some clothing.

"We had a seamstress roughly measure your sizing while you slept," Thannor explained. Kili nodded in thanks and slid into the leggings and tunic. He had to roll the bottom of the leggings up slightly because they were rather long. The cloth was much finer than he had ever worn.

"Now, we must attend to your manners," Thannor explained as he led Kili out of the bathhouse and through a small garden maze filled with beautiful flowers and smells, "Don't insult people. Be quiet of mind and spirit. Try not to display your emotions on your sleeves. It is seen as quite unseemly."

"Look," Kili finally growled, "I didn't choose this, ok? I'm not going to jump through hoops to change who I am just to make you people happy, ok?"

"I'm just trying to help you adapt to our culture," Thannor said, taken aback by the sudden outburst. Kili huffed and stood up, finally towering over the grey-eyed man. His brown eyes flashed and became almost black with anger. He had been quiet and subdued long enough. His voice came out tight and hard,

"Look, I don't need to adapt to your culture. I need to know enough to get by for however long the old elf wants me imprisoned. I do not have to strip naked. I do not have to listen to flutes. I do not have to eat your weird food. Most importantly, I don't have to repress every feeling and emotion in order to keep you people from feeling weird, got it?" Kili asked, positively steaming, "Forget these prissy elf cultures. Forget these snobby rules. I am a dwarf. I have nothing to hide."

With that, the petite brunette stomped off into the maze. Thannor sat in silence, completely surprised from the outburst. Granted, he had been half expecting it, but he had not thought that his advice was too commanding or controlling. He blinked his silvery eyelashes a few times, trying to gather his thoughts before realizing that dinner was to be served soon and he had just let his ward run off into a maze.

He sat puzzled with indecision for several long minutes. On one hand, there was little use going after a pissed dwarf, as they were renowned for their stubbornness. On the other, that dwarf needed energy to finish recovering from his illness and food was a known remedy for dwarven stubbornness. With a sigh, Thannor stood and followed Kili.

He need not have worried too much, as the dwarf left very distinct footprints in the dirt. After several minutes of following the trail, the elf found his prize. Kili sat with both feet sticking straight out against the side of the path, looking rather defeated. He did not meet the elf's eyes.

"I grew weak and lightheaded, so I needed to sit down," he growled, "but it doesn't change what I said before." Thannor nodded.

"Look, I was only trying to help you. I did not want you walking in to a strange culture with no idea of how we comport ourselves. Not every elf you meet will be as entertained and appreciative of your quirks. I apologize if it seemed like I was trying to take away your heritage," the blonde explained, "Now, may I help you return for dinner?"

"Aye," Kili affirmed and accepted the hand up. Then a stabilizing hand appeared on his shoulder as he nearly fell over again. He brushed the fine coating of dirt off the back of his pants.

Luckily, the distance to Thannor's household was short, as Kili often had to stop and close his eyes to prevent lightheadedness from toppling him over. The grand table was set on the ground floor and he received a position opposite of Thannor, on Arveldhir's left side. The elder elf bowed his head in greeting, but he was already finishing eating. After his final bite, he left without a word. Thannor explained that he had much letter writing and reading that needed looking after.

The dwarf actually did not mind most of the food served. Some dishes were too sweet for his taste, but the majority managed to blend a hearty meat with the vegetables, as if the elves were trying to sneak the vegetables in to get him accustomed. Nonetheless, Kili ate a good portion and felt his strength begin to return.

"Now, off to bed with you," Thannor murmured, ushering his new ward up the stairs like one would a small child. Kili shot him a warning look, but the effect was ruined when an enormous yawn nearly split his head open.

Once in the same room he had awakened in the day before, Kili felt the energy leave him and all of his sorrow and worry return. He worried that his brother and uncle thought him dead. He missed his mother. Most of all, he missed Fili. Hardly a day in his life had gone by without his older brother by his side, helping him, coaching him, having fun with him, working with him, sleeping beside him.

As he worried about having made his brother hurt, Kili noticed a different piece of parchment on the night table than he had left. He nearly tripped over his too big boots getting to it, but he guzzled down the too-familiar handwriting.

His hands shook as he read it, but an enormous smile came across his face. He laughed lightly and folded the parchment, placing it under his pillow. He backed up from the bed slightly and took a running leap to jump into it.

The letter read itself repeatedly in his mind, so that it kept bay the thoughts of his mother, as Fili would have done had he been present. Exhaustion quickly overpowered his emotions and took Kili off to the haven of dreams.

A short while later, Thannor peaked into the room and noted the smile on the dwarf's face. A sigh of relief came over him and he smiled softly, returning to the pile of furs that he had been sleeping on in the parlor. He was always grateful to the couriers for their speed of delivery.

Ok, brief translations for shitty Quenya : Ada-nin is "my father", Lorlondë means roughly "dream haven"
and I'll give you elf name translations later when I reresearch what they mean -_-'

Oh, btw, this is the cleanish version, but will still be rated M for a reason in later chapters.