The Morning After

(A random parody of all the bad

"Bob/AndrAIa, Matrix/Bula, etc." fics out there)

by Trisana McGraw

AndrAIa slowly stirred. She tried to sit up and moaned as her weary limbs protested, and a dull ache suddenly appeared between her temples. What did I have to drink last night? She couldn't exactly remember how many shots she had taken at the Diner before they had called it a night.

AndrAIa settled back down in the warm bed and pulled the sheets around her bare shoulders, closing her eyes to gain some more sleep. After about half a nano, her turquoise eyes snapped open, and she very slowly looked down at herself. She quickly attempted to cover herself up, realizing for the first time that she was naked. Oh no, how drunk was I the previous night? she wondered for the second time, forcing herself not to believe the worst but allowing those thoughts to enter her head anyway. Her thoughts were dim and fuzzy; she found that she couldn't recall exactly what had happened.

AndrAIa moaned and pulled the pillow over her head. She had just become aware of snoring from beside her; probably Enzo, she thought with a smile. As she lay still, some of her memories returned, though they were still rather hazy. AndrAIa struggled to concentrate on what she could recall from the previous night: Matrix decided to go home early. I stayed behind for awhile, and Bob offered to take me home, but then we went to his apartment –

AndrAIa bolted upright, causing another stab of pain in her head. She clapped both hands over her mouth to keep from shrieking in horror. Sweet User, she had slept with Bob last night! Even as she realized her awful mistake, she whipped her head to the side, ignoring the pain it cost her to see if it were true.

Oh, it was. The blue-skinned Guardian lay beside her, his naked body barely covered by the blankets.

AndrAIa inched over to the other side of Bob's bed, clutching the covers around her own nude body. The numb shock quickly receded and was replaced by core-hammering panic.

What a basic thing to do! What would Matrix say when he found out? For that matter, how would he ever forgive her? AndrAIa was already imagining the situation: Matrix would come into Bob's apartment and find AndrAIa there, then go off in a furious killing spree. Or, she would come home late and have to explain herself. She could never lie to Matrix, but if it were to protect Bob's life, or even her own --

And then there was Dot. She was like a mother and a sister to AndrAIa, and now the Game sprite had swapped codes with Dot's boyfriend. The mere thought made AndrAIa feel as if she were going to be violently sick. This was turning out like a horrible soap opera on Mike the TV.

AndrAIa hugged her arms around herself and fought back sobs, even as her mind chanted, You basic idiot! She had betrayed the sprite she loved more than anything, and her other friends as well, even Bob, by one stupid decision made on a drunken night –

The blaring of the alarm jolted AndrAIa awake. She shook her head and was immediately rewarded with a pounding in the back of her skull. At least she hadn't imagined that.

What a weird dream – no, nightmare, she thought as she shifted slightly. She had fallen asleep sprawled over her lover's broad chest, gasping with their late-night exertions.

Beside her, Matrix mumbled something in his sleep and reached out his arm to encircle her. AndrAIa let herself be pulled against him as she rubbed her forehead wearily. She pressed her face against his neck, willing herself to close her eyes and sleep off her hangover.

With a groan, Matrix painstakingly cracked open one eyelid, then the other. "That's the last time I have ten I/O shots in a row," he muttered, his voice barely above a rasp.

Moving slowly so as not to cause a bigger headache than the one she already had, AndrAIa carefully turned her head around so she could see him, and she managed a smile for the sleepy sprite. "Morning, Sparky."

"Hey," he yawned, grimacing. "Ugh. What happened last night?"

AndrAIa laboriously pushed herself up into a sitting position. "Well, after the round of drinks at the Diner, we all decided to go home. You and I got back here pretty drunk and we –" She let the sentence hang unfinished, as she trailed a finger lazily down his chest, an impish smile on her face.

Matrix raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. "Now I remember. Where in the Net did you learn to do that thing with your back?"

She grinned wickedly. "That's for me to know and you to find out." The smug look on his face told her that he was planning to find out rather soon.

Matrix traced a pattern over her stomach with his finger, and AndrAIa grinned again. Leaning in to kiss her, he murmured against her lips, "What do you say we work off this hangover?"

"I'd love to," AndrAIa giggled and returned his kiss. "But," she continued, and Matrix groaned, "I'm dead tired. Let's get something to eat instead; I'm starving." Matrix gave her a disappointed look, but he was also ravenous and in desperate need of a cool energy shake, he had to admit.

AndrAIa slowly got out of the bed and bent to pick up her clothes, scattered wildly on the floor from the night before. She gave him a suggestive smile as she went into the bathroom to clean up. Three milliseconds later she reappeared, fully dressed, though Matrix still sat in the bed, watching her as she crossed the room.

"Let's get over to the Diner," she suggested as she pinned her starfish to her hair. She walked over to the mirror and inspected her appearance, as she gulped down two pills for her headache. "I bet everyone's going to have a nasty hangover from last night."

Matrix nodded reluctantly and left the warmth of the bed to find his icon. He straightened up suddenly with a strange look of bewilderment on his face as he remembered something important. "Wait a nano, AndrAIa," he murmured, his voice urgent. His lover halted in mid-step and turned to look at him questioningly, surprised by the tone of his voice.

Still looking perplexed, Matrix slowly went over the events of the previous night. He counted off on his fingers the sprites that had been at the party. "We came back here, Bob went to his apartment, Dot stayed at the Diner, Mouse went to Ship . . . . Did Ray ever leave the Diner?"

AndrAIa stared at him in shock, startled by the mere thought. "I – I don't know."