Venice, 1979

Jay stood and shoved his hands in to his pockets. He had never been good in front of crowds. Today was no different. But when Sid's mom had called, he couldn't just put down the phone. They had all been through too much, together and apart. They had been friends for almost 19 years, and in his final moments, Sid had done more for them then they had done for him in all of those years.

"I…I, um, I don't really know what to say. I'm not very, um, good at this kind of thing. And I never – never thought I'd be here, doing what I have to do. Sid was a good kid. A great kid. A great friend. Sid was my best friend. I remember this one time, in second grade, when he offered to eat paste to make some bully leave me alone. Sid was always doing stuff like that. And I never did anything for him."

The other boys looked over at Jay, who was clutching the podium with white knuckles. He leaned forward, almost low enough to rest his head on the microphone. Stacy and Tony looked at each other, concerned. They didn't know where Jay's speech was going, but they knew that it might end badly.

"I never did anything for Sid. All I did was use him and leave him. I used his money. I used his pool. I tried to take him with my to the pros, but then I left and he was never good enough to stay on his own. His style was total kook. I used his weed, his beer, his parents. Sid never left me, though. He stayed. He always stayed. I remember this one time, right after he told me he was sick. He just looked at me and said that he would kick my ass if I ever cried in front of him. I never understood why, until something that Thunder Monkey said to me."

Thunder Monkey looked up at the sound of her name. The tears poured down her face, making little dark marks on her black dress. The sight of her crying was almost too much for Jay to handle. He took a deep, rattling breath, looked down, and continued on in a shaky voice.

"She told me that Sid had asked her the same thing – to never cry in front of him. He told her that his mom cried, his grandma cried, his brother and his dad and his sister all cried. He told her that enough people that he loved in his life were crying, and that if his friends started doing it too, he didn't know if he'd be able to keep going. To keep putting that big Sid smile on his face and making jokes and pretending like he would be okay and just stop living. And he didn't want that. I never cried in front of Sid, as many times as I wanted too. And, despite all that, I think Sid would be okay with all of us crying here today. That's it. I'm done."

And with that Jay took another deep breath and walked down the small set of steps to the pews, sliding in beside Kathy and taking her hand. She squeezed it gently and smiled, proud of him for saying all the things he did. If only she knew, he though. If only she knew all the things I didn't say. Jay hadn't said all that he wanted to about Sid. Jay didn't tell everyone everything. In fact, the only people who knew the real and total truth were Jay and Sid's moms, and Stacy. And they all had been sworn to complete secrecy. Even they didn't know about the little things.

They didn't know about the way Sid looked in his boxer shorts, or about how he liked to nibble on Jays bottom lip. They didn't know that Jay liked to hold hands, an that it was one of the few genuinely sensitive things that Jay ever did. They didn't know about how both boys liked to sneak in to the old movie theatre off Bicknell hill and make out through the old black and white movies. And they didn't know how much it tore Jay up inside to walk down the isle of that church in his itchy black polyester suit and stand on that stage and say those things and pretend. Not that he wasn't used to pretending. He more than was. He and Sid had been pretending his entire life. Since they were little. Once they were teens. On tour. At home. Everywhere.

Jay lost focus. He stopped hearing the end of the service. He tried his hardest to pay attention to Thunder Monkey, Stacy, and Tony as they all took their turns speaking about Sid, about how great a guy he had been. He stood and sat for the Hymns, and when the final procession took place, he walked past the open casket. Sid's hair was gone, cut off after a final chemo treatment. He looked un-natural in his stuffy, navy blue suit. Jay reached inside his pocket and pulled out a small bundle, shoving it quickly in to the bottom of the casket, out of sight. He knew that Sid would have wanted to be buried with his Zephyr t-shirt. He took Kathy's hand and walked out of the church in to the bright light. He found Stacy and Tony by Tony's car.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Jayboy. You did really well today. I know that took a lot of guts."

"Thanks Tony."

"Hey, what do you guys say to one last surf at the pier, for old times sake," Stacy asked, punching Jay tenderly on the arm.

"One last? What are you leaving already? You got more malls to skate for money," Jay said smiling.

"There's nothing left here for me, Jay. You've got Kathy and your mom. I've got nothing. I've got to move on."

"You've got me, Stacy. Me and Kathy. And Skip, and POP. You could find a reason to stay if you wanted," Jay shot back, staring resolutely at Stacy.

"Sorry, Jay. I've just got to go."

"Hey, lets just go down to the pier, maybe stop by the old Zephyr building," Tony said, putting his hand on Stacy's shoulder. "We can talk about all that shit later. Right now, lets just all be here for Sid. Lets paddle, dudes. A final RIP."

"Wow, Tony."

"What, Jayboy?"

"I don't think I've ever heard you say anything more gay," the boy teased, making one of his rat faces and jumping in Stacy's car. "Lets go!" The two laughed and followed, Tony promising something about kicking his ass later. Jay knew that this was it. This was the last car ride, the last surf session, the last joints or beers together. They had been reunited by Sid, but they all knew that it wouldn't last. The last link in the chain was gone, and it was time to scatter to the winds. Stacy would go back to G&S, and Tony would go to Alva Skates, and Jay would stay in Dogtown with Kathy. Each knew and had accepted their future. But, as the car shifted in to reverse and Stacy pulled out smoothly on to the highway, Jay couldn't help but think back to the good old golden days. The days when he didn't have a care in the world but skating and seeing Sid and getting high. For the longest time, he had pushed back those memories. Seeing all of them together and happy, even in his head, was just too much for him while Sid lay up in a hospital bed and Tony nursed and broken skull. Now that they were separating, possibly forever, Jay let his mind stray.

Surfing could wait. This was a ride down memory lane that he needed to take more than anything else in the world.