Brawl in the Family, a loud house fanfic

The story starts with Lincoln whistling as he goes to the couch, but the living room is empty. Then, he walks over to the kitchen, only to find out that Luna is blocking the entrance, "Sorry bro, kitchen's off limits. Lori's in there cooling off. She and Leni had a major throwdown."

Lincoln rolled his eyes not caring, "Yeah, sad story. But I'm hungry."

As Lincoln was about to walk into the kitchen Lisa showed up, "Fear not, male sibling. You should be able to satiate your appetite by forging under the couch cushions." Lisa holds out the bagel, "See what I scored?"

Lincoln notices the bagel, "Ooh, an everything bagel." And eats it.

Lisa takes the bagel from Lincoln, "Mmm...correction, a plain bagel with lint, dog hair-" She gasps, "Gadzooks! Is that a booger?"

Lincoln, horrified and disgusted at what he just ate, runs to the bathroom to throw up. Lincoln runs into Lana, "Do not eat the couch bagel." Lincoln clutched his stomach.

Lana points to bathroom, "Sorry, bathroom's off limits. Leni is in there cooling off from the fight. Here, use this." Lana hands Lincoln a bucket.

Lincoln gulps, "A bucket?"

Lana smirks, "Don't knock it till you try it."

Lincoln gives a look of discontent.

Time Skips to the living room, Lola, Lynn and Lucy are reading. Lincoln enters the room with a bowl of popcorn and wearing monster truck fan attire. Lincoln is about to take the remote. His sisters, after staring at him, beat him up then continue reading.

Lynn continues to look at her book, "Sorry, TV's off limits."

Lincoln grows annoyed, "Aw, come on! Why?"

Lola turned the page in her book, "Lori and Leni are on edge. You watching a Monster Truck Rally is not going to help them."

Lincoln raised his hands upward, "This is ridiculous! What's this Sister Fight Protocol even about?"

Flashback The sisters (except Lori and Leni) are sitting on the couch, doing their usual things. Lori enters the room.

"Guys! Guys! Guys!" Lori comes in and pulls out her dress, "Check out this dress I found at the mall. It's literally one of a kind." She squeals.

"Oooohh..." Lori's sisters cooed.

Leni enters the room with her dress, "O-M-Gosh, you guys! Look at this dress I found at the mall!"

The sisters gasp due to Lori and Leni having the same dress.

Leni walks up to Lor, "Ooohh...when did we put a mirror in the living room?" Leni asked.

Lori clenches her fist, "That's not a mirror, that's me! Now go take your dress back!"

Leni does the same, "What? No! You take yours back!"

The two growl at each other as their other sisters whistle and head upstairs. End flashback.

Lincoln looked confused, "That's it? You gotta be kidding me! Clyde and I wore the same shirt on picture day, and we didn't care."

Lucy looked up from her book, "It's a sister thing. You wouldn't understand."

Lincoln puts his hands on his hips, "Well, maybe we could help them work it out. So we can have our house back." He starts to walks to Lori and Leni's room, but Lynn stops him with her hockey stick, "Oof!"

Lynn brought her stick back, "Negative. In this family, we have a sister fight protocol. Butt out, and let them resolve it on their own."

"She's right!" Jonathan pops out from the Rita's bedroom scaring the others, "Let the chicks settle it out and we men will hang outside today." He brought Lincoln in for a noggie.

Lincoln smiled up at Jonathan's offer, "You know that doesn't sound so bad."

Suddenly Leni yelled from upstairs, "Johnny can you come up here please!"

Jonathan brought his hand up, "Hang on!" He puts Lincoln down, "I'll be right back squirt." He then ran up stairs. Jonathan gets to Lori and Leni's room and enters their room. "What's up Leni-Bun?"

Leni crossed her arms, "Johnny tell Lori that she should return her dress."

Jonathan started to sweat not knowing what to say, "Um..."

Lori crosses her arms, "How about you tell your girlfriend that she should return her dress."

"Jonathan rubs the back of his neck nervously, I-I'm not really sure I should help you've guys I'm not a sister after."

Leni pouts, "But Lori said you can help us now since your my boyfriend?"

Lori up and started slowly walking to him, "Yeah, so are you gonna help or now?!"

Jonathan hated picking sides, but the two getting a answer might stop the fight earlier then normal, "W-Well Leni-Bun, I think you should return the dress?"

Leni gasped, "Wait, what?!"

Jonathan put his hands in the air to defend himself, "Okay, okay. I'm just spitballing here, I mean your color is seafoam green, why would you want a blue dress anyway?"

Leni put her hand on her chin thinking, "I guess your right."

Lori then smirked, "Ha, you heard him now return the dress!"

Leni pouted, "I should returns the dress now huh?"

Jonathan shrugged his shoulders, "I would plus I could drive ya to the mall and get a new dress I'm driving Lic around anyway."

Leni hopped out of her bed, "Really?! Thanks Johnny!" She then hugged her boyfriend.

Jonathan smiled, "So are you ready to hug it out?"

Leni looked confused, "But I'm already hugging you?

Jonathan kissed her forehead, "No I mean you and Monobrow."

Leni at the kiss and turned to her big sister, "Oh right!" She then hugged Lori squeezing her tight.

Lori found trouble breathing, "Ok Leni I'm sorry for earlier, but I need to use my spine later." Lori pats her little sister's back trying to get her to ease up.

Leni and Lori hug and Jonathan leaves their room, and shuts the door. Just then, the other sisters were surprised at him for fixing the fight. Lincoln looked angry.

Lynn punched his arm, "Ugh, nice job Lincoln! We should let you let you fix our fights more offten."

Lisa pulled out a chart, Based on our port guest's help levels are now down, I'm lowering the threat level in the house from thunderstorm to Field of Daisies. Siblings, we're are all clear."

Lincoln looked confused, "Uh, what's going on?"

Lola hugged Jonathan arm, "Johnny saved the day again he's so wonderful!"

Lincoln glares at Jonathan while the teenager looks worried at the boy.

The later that day Lincoln is in his room reading manga. Jonathan enter the room, which angers Lincoln, "What do you want to tell me a new Sister protocol rule?"

Jonathan laughs nervously, 'I deserve that I did kind of show him up earlier, usually his sisters go to him to fix their fights. Can't even count the times he helped the twins.' He then closes the door.

Jonathan caps his hands together, "Actually I wanted to check up on you. Earlier you looked a little mad at me little buddy. I was hoping we could talk."

Lincoln turned the page in his manga and rolled his eyes, "What's there to talk about? Clearly my sisters want you to help them more then me so I should just butt out." Lincoln looked to his manga silently reading to himself.

Jonathan sighs then grabbed the chair to Lincoln's desk and sat in it, "Look I know me steaming rolling you wasn't cool, but I've lived with this girls just as long as you so I'm not surprised they come to me sometimes asking for help." Jonathan rested his hands on his knees, "Besides let's face it the ladies love us, I mean you got cookies from Cookie, Girl Jordan drags you to movies all the time and your sisters have the biggest crush on me, heck I'm dating one of them and she's like a angel!"

Lincoln blushed at the teenager remark, Lincoln was surprised at how many girls steamed to like him last February he had eat all of his chocolates he ended up getting at school so his sisters wouldn't swipe it, that was a poor choice. Lincoln then put manga down and looked to his brother, "I guess you have a point besides your always there to help me when I need help, I should learn not to try and help when I'm not needed."

Jonathan ruffled the white haired boy head, "Your never not needed you just got to learn to read the moment." Lincoln laughed at the nice feeling of Jonathan messing with his hair. Jonathan then smiled, "Now let me tell you how we're ending this stupid Protocol stuff for good." Lincoln smirked and the two began work on their next plan.

Later that month Lucy and Lynn had fight about Lynn paying Lucy enough money so she could fix her bust of her favorite vampire Edwin, Lynn being Lynn of course refused and that resulted in a Sister Fight Protocol after which Rita told Jonathan to make the same meal twice so Lynn and Lucy could dine separately. Jonathan sighs and makes the two meals, but unknown to the Loud women dinner wasn't going to as they plan.

Lynn takes her seat right next to Lincoln while Jonathan brings out the food, "Sup bro, ready to eat?"

Lincoln scoffed, "Hardly Jon's cooking taste worst then Aunt Roth's puddin."

Lynn laughs, but everyone else gasp.

Jonathan gets out of his chair, "Hey! I'll have you know I made this meal with my own two hands."

Lincoln looks at his meal, "Looks like you made it with your own two feet."

Rita slams her hands on the table, Lincoln Maria Loud what has gotten into you?!"

Jonathan puts a hand on her shoulder, "I'll tell you what isn't going into him any of my cooking until he apologizes." Jonathan then grabs Lincoln's share and pours it into Lynn's.

Lynn then smirks, "Score twice the helping!" Lynn then starts eating like a dog from a bowl and everyone winces expect Lana who cheers her on.

Rita looks nervous, "Johnny I don't think taking Lincoln's meal away from him is a fair punishment, shouldn't we try to get him to apologies?"

Jonathan waved her off, "Nah, let him starved now If you excuse me I'll just remember that I need to call someone real quick so while I'm gone everyone, but Lincoln eat OK. Back in a bit!"

After he left the girls looked at each other for a moment and made Lincoln a new serving. The boy was left surprised Lincoln looked around, "Hey what are doing?!"

Lori looked at her phone while eating, "We're helping you that was littiry uncalled for."

Leni nodded in agreement, "Johnny was like toots such a meanie to you Linky, he toots sleeping on the couch to night, but I can't tell If that's better then where he sleeps now?"

Luna shook her head, "J was way harsh little bro. We got to have your back during hard times."

Luan giggled, "Plus you were just joking around, Johnny just needs a kick in funny bone."

Rita stared serving for the rest of her kids, "I won't let you starve just because of a Protocol twice in one day eat up sweetie."

Lincoln gave a small smile and it grew when Lucy came down and took her seat right next to Lincoln and Lincoln looked to her, "Hey sis I thought sister who were fighting ate apart during protocols?"

Lucy nodded, "We do, but I tried of fighting with Lynn and I want to return back to my meanest life." She then turned to Lynn, "Big sis I'm sorry.."

Lynn talked with her mouth full, but Lucy heard am "I'm sorry" in there so they made up. Jonathan mysterious disappeared after leaving the room so the Louds had to pack the second dinner themselves.

Time Skip week later..

Another Sister Fight Protocol happened the levels were as Lisa would say "Erupting Volcano" The girls got into a argument about where they should take their vacation since Vanzilla was fixed up and upgraded. The argument started off small, but eventually all of the sister except for Lily who was in Rita's room started fighting in a cloud of smoke. Hair was being pulled, arms getting bite, sharp nails were clawing after a plate was thrown the girls decided to give each other some space.

However when the nine girls left Lori's room they found that the stairs were missing. Shocked they ran to the rails and saw Jonathan and Lincoln watching TV with Rita bouncing Lily on her knee.

Leni waved to the in panic, "Mom! Linky! Johnny! The stairs are missing we can't get down!"

Lana jumped to the railing, "Save us! And also If you can bring some snacks."

The group down stairs noticed the girls and walked up to them. Jonathan crossed his arms, "I'm glad you girls are done clawing each other cause we wanted to tell you girls something." The girls looked confused and watch as Lincoln threw up a hamster ball filled with a list of sorts.

Lisa read it over then gasped, "You want us to change roommates?!"

Rita nodded, "You girls seem to fight over the littlest things, a dress, a seat in Vanzilla, do you girls know how annoying it was to make two meals whenever you girls fight?"

Lola looked down ashamed, "But last week you didn't say anything about it?" The other girls nodded in agreement.

Lincoln looks deadpan at his sister, "Yeah cause this time we got mom to put her foot down."

Rita nodded, You girls are going to talk about your problems rather ignore them and you kids are going to be swapping roommates for the time being so you can get to know each other better. Understand?!"

The girls nodded in and ran back into Lori's room to figure out who they were swapping with.

Rita then turned to to Lincoln and Jonathan, "Now you two put my stairs back right now!"

The two boys nodded in fear and got to work quickly.

Meanwhile the girls were checking over the new roommates paring, Lisa was left in charge of read off the list. She then pushed her glasses back, "Our new roommates seem to be, Lori and Lola they will be together since they both excel in social situations and possess an authoritarian nature."

Lori and Lola notice Lana and Charles chewing on shoes and shout in unison, "Drop it, Lana/Charles!" Lana and Charles drop it and Lola and Lori look at each other surprised.

Lisa continues, "Leni will be rooming with Lynn."

Leni and Lynn jump in shook, "Wait. Why are we together? That doesn't make any sense. We don't even have anything in common!" The two look at each other in confusion.

Lisa continues, "Luna will be with Lana since both enjoy garage-based hobbies and wield a wicked axe." Luna, holding her guitar, and Lana, holding an inflatable play ax, look at each other.

Lisa continues, "Luan will be with Lucy because of their shared creativity and unusual proclivity for befriending inanimate objects." The inanimate objects in question are Mr. Coconuts and Edwin, and Luan and Lucy look at each other.

Lisa Continues, "Lily will be with Lincoln-"

Lori grabs the list, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why is the twerp included?"

Lisa grabbed the list back, "I believe our parntel unit wishes for all of us to change our roommate. Which includes our male sibling."

Lori looks suspiciously at the paper, "Wait, I see what's going on. Those two must of tricked mom to get us to switch roommates for some plan. Why else does everyone have a roommate except Lisa?" Lori punched her fist into her palm.

Lisa rose the list, "Actually, I have a cohabitation it seems I'm with Jonathan. This isn't to surprising giving our love for building and our high intelligence, mine of course being higher."

After the boys put the stairs the girls move their stuff around and adjust to the new roommates, Lana dumps mud all over Luna's timpani drums and Luna bangs and splashes a good beat, "We make a great team, Lans!"

Leni laughing while Lynn bench-pressing her, "Whoo!" She then laughs some more. Lynn grunts, "Thanks for letting me bench-press you. You're, like, the perfect weight." Leni smiles, "Well, thank you. 'Cause you're helping me decorate the ceiling." She puts a sticker on the ceiling along with some others she put on.

Lucy and Luan were playing poker with their soulmates. Lucy deals, "I have ace high. Edwin has two pair."

Luan looks at her deck, "I've got a full house." She then act as Mr. Coconuts, "And I've got a four of a kind. Just like us, right, gang?" Luan laughs with Lucy, "You're so funny, Mr. Coconuts."

Lori and Lola were yelling at Bobby on Lori's phone.

Lori glares at the teenager, "I told you Bobby we're through. I don't want to get back together with you!"

Lola shakes her fist, "You'd better keep away Bobby or I'll get my prince Johnny to give you a royal beating!"

They hang up on a frightened Bobby.

Lori smirked evilly, "Good. Now let's call that pageant judge who gave you a 4." She dials the judge's number while Lola watches.

Jonathan and Lisa are work on projects in the garage.

Lisa holds up a hammer with a battery on the back, "I give to you the electric hammer, now hammering at a Gastropods pace is a thing of the past!" She turns in on and smiles at her new invention.

Jonathan grabs it and looks it move, "Not bad girl genius I think you made another break through, now man could be even lazier." He hands her back the hammer, "What to see my invention?" Lisa nodded curiously. Jonathan takes a ice cube tray, fills it with juice, puts it in the freezer, pulls it out then puts a tooth pick in it. Jonathan then hands it to her, "Tada, quick and easy Popsicle!"

Lisa licks it and gasps, "Astonishing!" She continues to lick it while stuffs donuts with ice cream.

Finally Lincoln and Lily they took Lisa & Lily's old room so Lincoln could have more space and Lily wouldn't have to little space, the two played Peek-a-boo, Lincoln read his comic to Lily and when Lily couldn't fall asleep Lincoln rubbed her back until she falls asleep.

Lincoln looked to the readers, "Sometimes the best way to help someone is to get someone else to help, but the times I get to make someone feel better are moment I wouldn't trade for the world." Lincoln then kisses Lily on the head and heads to his bed, but Lily grabs his hand, "Fine we can sleep together to night, but don't think this is gonna be a nightly thing." Lincoln picked her up and the to laid in the white haired boy's bed.

The End