Happy Endings, by Moonlight Destiny
Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Sailor moon or any of the characters.
Sobs where heard from the outside of Tsukino Usagi's room, sobs of pain, regret, betrayal, all for one person and one person only. "How could I've been so stupid, thinking that he could love me, thinking he actually cared?" She bit our in frustration, her school uniform all in tangles. She gave a sigh, shaking and trying to control the tears as best as she could.
A week had gone by since Chiba Mamoru's cold cruel words had stung her heart, seven merciless days since her soul had been shattered. "Why is he doing this," Usagi thought outloud, clenching her fist till the knuckes turned white. She remembered the times before they found out that they were reincarnated souls, and wondered would have it been better to stay that way. Her feelings wouldn't have been broken and this would've never happened. Why to her why now when everything was finally the way she always wanted it? She had her friends, she had peace, and most of all she had her charming prince, but now she had nothing, nothing at all. To make it worse a little brat had moved in and seemingly taken her place, in her parents life and in her love life. Life was being cruel to the least cruelest person in the world.
She gave a sigh, time to straighten up, she thought. No more tears, wouldn't want the Senshi to think she was more of a wimp then they thought she was. She knew she was going to be late again, but now she really didn't care. Rei would yell, Ami would scold, and Minako and Makoto would snicker in the background. She was used to it by now, She knew that they were disappointed in her daily but everything she did seemed like a disappointment. She was walking as fast as she could, too tired to run to Cherry Hill Temple, when she collided with a rose smelling chest. Not now she thought, I don't need him to be so close to me right now.
"Watch where your going Usagi-san you might run over something" Mamoru said coldly, silver flecks reflecting in his deep indigo eyes.
"Sorry Mamoru-san I…I wasn't looking where I was going." Eyes glued to the floor Usagi quietly tried to avoid any eye contact. Since the break-up He had been so cold to her, at least with her other break-ups all her other boyfriends where just ignoring her, but no Mamoru was different.
"Well see that it doesn't happen next time," he snapped brushing his way past her. She gave a shiver as he passed. Maybe its better this way she thought. If we would have stayed together neither of us would have been happy. She gave a sigh and walked on.
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He hated doing that, just hearing the fear in her voice made him want to plead for forgiveness. He knew from the way she looked at him that she was going to give up pretty soon, she was going to forget about him and finally move on. Move on and be happy. Be happy without him. Be happy with someone else. He clenched his jaw, as much as he knew that it was inevitable for that to happen he still couldn't or at least wouldn't admit it.
She still loves me, she can't give up millennia of love, like he seemingly has done, no she was just to good of a person. She was his Usako she was perfect in everyway, she would never betray him right? But that little nagging voice in his head kept telling him that she wasn't even his anymore, but Mamoru was just to adamant to listen.
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Usagi finally arrived at the temple, unshed tears in her eyes. "You…you.. Odango Atama I can' believe your late again, why can't you be on time for once?" Rei instantly regretted her words, seeing her friend's watery eyes.
"What's so hard to believe Rei? I'm always late, I thought you'd be used to it by now." Usagi whispered, sadness dripping in her voice. All the other Senshi were instantly quiet while witnessing the little argument, no longer was it a bickering match, but a serious argument. They could hear the anguish on their friends voice, not the usual happy bounce, but a weak and unstable voice. Minako instantly was by her friend's side, trying to comfort her friend as much as possible. Usagi just stood still as Minako did her best to lightly hug her.
"What's wrong Usa-chan? Are you okay?" Usagi just closed her eyes and tried to get the horrible pictures out of her head. Horrible pictures, with Mamoru's icy glare, his cold shoulder and his mocking sneers. She bit the insides of her lip just trying to calm down, finally a lone tear slid down her face. The Senshi gasped and where immediately by her side, worried about her.
"Come on Usa tell us what's the matter," Makoto whispered gently brushing her tear away. Usagi just stayed mute and looked down at the ground. Rei feeling mostly guilty came up to her and gave her a hug gently rubbing Usagi's back.
"Come on Usagi-chan you know I was joking right? I...I didn't mean to make you cry." Rei was on the verge of tears. Bickering with Usagi was a daily routine for her and everyone knew she wasn't all that serious; Usagi's her best friend. Or was her best friend Rei thought bitterly, she'll never forgive me for this. But in her heart she knew Usagi could never stay bitter forever.
Usagi gave a small smile; well at least I know I still have friends. "It's not you Rei-chan, I'm just not in a good mood today that's all." She brushed it of istantly and composed a fake smile. "I'm okay you guys honest, I think it's just that time of the month for me you know?" she gave a small giggle and proceeded walking toward the shrine's steps. Her friends didn't have to know, she didn't have to burden them with her pathetic excuse of a love life, they had their own problems.
The Senshi were shocked beyond belief, never in their lives have they ever-witnessed Usagi close herself up like that. She's always been as open as a book, but now she was building a wall around her heart. Was what happened to her that extreme that she would close her heart out to everyone? Ami shook her head and followed their leader into the shrine, the others soon followed behind. Makoto quietly sat down and was the first to talk, "Usagi-chan please tell us what's going on, we're your friends you can tell us anything." Usagi looked at her, she wanted so much to let her feelings come out, to tell someone, but will they hurt her like Mamoru had? She shook her head; stop thinking about him she thought. All the Senshi's eyes were on her, trying to figure out why she was being distant all of a sudden.
Guilt over flowed her, she couldn't lie to her friends, not to the Senshi. "It's Mamo-chan he hates me." Minako looked at Usagi puzzled, she knew that Mamoru broke up with her but she thought it was just a break from each other. Mamoru wouldn't do this on purpose, or so she thought. Looking through Usagi's eyes she realized that Mamoru had really hurt her.
"What exactly happened between you guys?" Minako was now more curious then ever about Usagi and Mamoru's relationship. Usagi then began to tell them the whole story.
"He left me you guys. One day he just comes up to me and says 'Hey I don't love you anymore so bye' I….I don't get it." The Senshi were even more confused. Why would Mamoru do that? He has to have a reason. "And what's worse of all is that he wont even tell me why he broke up with me." A fresh batch of tears escaped Usagi's eyes and made contact with her clean pleaded skirt.
"He wouldn't do it on purpose Usagi, he can't say he loves you one day and not the next, it's just unthinkable." Ami stated.
"That's just it you guys, I don't think he ever did love me, he…he was just doing it for Serenity and Endymion." Usagi bit her lip from wailing; her heart bled so badly that she thought it might explode.
"Are you sure Usagi-chan, I mean are you positively sure?" asked Makoto worry lines adoring her forehead. Usagi silently nodded her head. Rage and fury took over her whole body, nobody would do this to her friend. Looking at Usagi boosted her fury even further, seeing her look so fragile, ready to break any minute. "Why that son of a bitch, don't worry Usa I'll make sure he'll regret this." Makoto stood up, fist clenched and ready to run out the door towards Mamoru's apartment complex.
Rei and Minako both jumped up and restrained her from the door. "Calm down Mako-chan you don't want to upset Usagi-chan more do you." stated Rei, Makoto gingerly calmed down a bit, anger stilled boiled within her. "We all want revenge, but not like this." Rei whispered in her ear. Makoto nodded her head and sat down trying to clear her head. Rei and Minako relaxed and took a seat next to Ami.
"Usa he's just a guy and if he was such an idiot to give up on you, it's his loss," Minako prompted. "You don't need a guy to make you happy Usa, and besides fish attracts water." Minako stated with a proud ring in her voice. The Senshi looked at her curiously, Usagi looked up from her stupor and gave a small smile.
"Uhh, Minako-chan I think it's 'there's more fish in the sea'." Ami corrected, amused by Minako's mistake. Then they heard a slight giggle, turning around they saw Usagi trying to cover her little snickers. The Senshi were to say the least shocked, then Rei's lip stared to twinge and Makoto could hardly suppress her giggles. Soon enough the whole group was laughing hysterically.
After a few minutes the laughter died down and the Senshi were once again in a calm mood. Usagi had stopped her tears but anger still emanated from Makoto and Minako, surprisingly enough Rei was the most furious of the Senshi. Ami thought there had to be a logical explanation about all this, but was fairly enraged by the situation.
Hearing all of this, Luna was feeling guilty at not seeing that her Princess had been in such turmoil. Artimis let out a sigh; all this crying wasn't too healthy for Usagi. "Umm guys," Usagi said meekly, "I have to go it's getting late and Mom expects me home by dinner." She stood up and was preparing to go when Rei gave her a hug, followed by Minako Ami and then Makoto.
"Take care of yourself Usa, and remember you don't need him," Makoto said giving her a tight squeeze. Usagi had to smile; she nodded her head and left the temple leaving behind her concerned friends, Luna not far behind. Usagi walked slowly trying to enjoy the scenery around her. The sun was setting and the temperature was just right, a lone breeze carried her hair and fluttered it behind her. Clueless to the shadow behind the trees, watching her intently with deep blue eyes, she walked home in silence.
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Mamoru hid behind the tree watching her as she went by. He could identify the tear marks on her creamy cheeks and the red swollen eyes. His heart painfully constricted, God she was so beautiful, he thought. He wanted to just go up to her and embrace her small body, and whisper sorry over and over again. How long had it been since he's smelled her hair, felt her warmness, tasted her lips? How much longer does he have to wait, will he ever get the chance to again? The thought almost drove him to insanity, just as long as she is safe I would gladly go mad for her.
His charade had been the hardest thing he had ever done, how much longer does he have to keep it up? It was so hard to ignore her, bumping into her ever day, but he secretly wanted to bump into her, to see her to at least hear her melodic voice.
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Usagi gave a sigh and walked into her house, she knew she looked like a mess but was to tired to care. She went up to her room and sat on her bed, she knew a migraine was coming on. She closed her eyes and thought about a certain blue-eyed tuxedo clad man. She gave a sigh she had to try to forget about him. Like Mina and Makoto had said she didn't need him to be happy; there were other guys out there just as handsome as he was. But does she really want all those other guys? Can they make her as complete as Mamoru had made her, will they break her heart as much as Mamoru did? I probably won't love them as much, but then breaking up with them wont hurt as much either.
"Usagi dinner time," She could hear her mother shout from the bottom of the stairs. She quickly stood up and cleaned herself, trying to make herself look as normall as possiple. As she went down the stairs she could smell curry being served. She put on a feign smile and bounded to the dinning room. Sitting down on the table, she served herself a small serving of rice.
"Who are you and what have you done with Usagi?" Shingo said in mock disbelief. Chibi-Usa could be heard snickering in the background. Usagi gave Shingo a dirty look, Ikuko just shook her head at him.
"So family," Kenji started, "how did your day go?" He always had asked that at the dinner table, ever since Usagi was a child she remembered her father asking the same question daily. She has always been forward, telling him all the low and main points of her day, but as she grew older and the Sailor Senshi business had arose she couldn't be fully truthful to him. She sighed sadly, only if you knew dad, only if you knew. She shook her head slightly.
"I went to my friends house, played video games, went home." Shingo muttered gobbling up the curry. He never had a lot of things to say. He was usually very blunt and didn't give too much detail. Usagi on the other hand stayed totally mute, her parents not taking notice of this just blew it over. Chibi-Usa immediately started babbling on about her day.
"Well….I had the most perfect day, I went to the park with my Mamo-chan," Usagi mentally winced at her usage of her pet name for Mamoru. "we did so much together…." Usagi's heart ached as she flaunted her closeness to her once soul mate. "boating, playing in the park he took me for ice cream too." Usagi couldn't take it anymore. Chibi-Usa's words had cut her deep, remembering all the times that Mamoru had taken her to the exact places. Jealousy and bitterness over took her systems. Fighting the urge to lash out at the pink haired girl she clenched her fists, into a tight ball.
She stood up, trebling from her rage, "I ..I have to go um…finish my homework." The family all gave her a funny look. It was highly irregular for Usagi to do her homework, and skipping dinner to do it was just unthinkable for them. Usagi didn't give them time to give comments, she stormed up to her room and swiftly closed the door.
Am I really getting replaced in his heart? thought Usagi, has Chibi-Usa really taken my place. Deep in her heart she knew the answers to her questions, but she couldn't give up hope, she had to keep hoping. But was it really worth it to pine over him now, would she pine for him the rest of her life? She couldn't do that, she had dreams of being a mother, dreams of being a wife, could she really throw all that away because of a broken heart? I'm so confused. I…I don't know what to do. She looked up at the moon and pleaded for answers, silent tears coursed down her cheeks. She made up her mind, she would confront him, if he gives her an honest answer she would leave him alone, never to meddle in his life again, and if he doesn't…….what would she do if he doesn't? Welcome him with open arms? Just forget about the hell he put her through? But wasn't she in hell without him? She shook her head, hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.
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Eight days three hours, Mamoru thought, he gave a load sigh. Another day without his Usako, another day of trying to ignore her and tell her of. He ruffles his already tousled hair on his hands. Damn this is getting harder and harder everyday. He walked on his usually way to work, half wishing, half dreading to collide into a certain blonde haired Princess. He rounded the corner, expecting the usual bump that would hit his chest. Surprisingly there was none, at first he was dismayed not running into Usagi, but then he cought a flash of gold. And there leaning on the brink wall was Usagi, the beautiful rays of the morning seemingly making her glow, her posture demanding and stubborn.
"We have to talk" she said quietly, while looking at him straight in the eyes. Her beautiful clear blue ones clashing with his indigo ones. He looked at her blankly trying to figure out what she was trying to do. He gave her a curious look and was about to just brush past her, but she stood right in front of him blocking his path, his 6'2" frame towering over her 4'11" frame. But Usagi stood her ground.
"I'm going to be late Usagi, stand aside," he said smoothly, giving her callous look. "If it's between our previous relationship I don't have time for it right now," his voice showing annoyance. Usagi didn't even flinch, in fact she raised an eyebrow at him, inside though she was trembling. I can't believe I'm actually doing this. His glares were cutting through her, but she made a resolve to be strong.
"Well you better make time," she said in a whisper, "come on." She dragged him, he at first complained about how immature she was being and how this was totally dumb. Usagi just kept walking head held high while she dragged Mamoru by the jacket to the park. After finally arriving with a whining Mamoru at toe she finally spoke, "Okay now we can talk."
"Aren't you going to be late for school," Mamoru said admonishing her. He was kind of intrigued when Usagi took hold of him and forced him to a secluded area.
"God Mamo-cha…I mean Mamoru, can't you think about something other then schoolwork?" She seethed, her anger at a boiling point. This was something that would change her whole life, and all he could do was act impassive about it. "This is crucial Mamoru and I….I have to have an explanation."
Mamoru rolled his eyes, "Is this really necessary Usagi? I told you we're through, over, no longer together. I know you're a blonde and all but do I really have to spell it out for you WE BROKE UP!!!!" Mamoru was frustrated Usagi being near him were putting his senses into over drive. God he had missed her, just looking at her with those lush cherry lips, perky nose, big glassy cerulean eyes, it was enough for him to get mesmerized by her. He couldn't take it any more, he felt as though his body has been yearning for her since….since forever.
Usagi held in a whimper, he's never yelled at her like that before, her hands started to shake. She forced her eyes to look at him, head held high and lips pouted she looked at him as if to say, "are you quite done yet?" From the inside though she was shaking, she was so nervous but was damned if she showed her emotions to him. "Just tell me Mamoru, tell me why and I'll never ask you again. Give me a hard core answer and I'll do as you wish." Usagi said in a hushed whisper. Mamoru's eyes widened, he was in a dead end what was he going to say.
"I told you I just….don't love you all right, now can you please just leave me alone," he gave her the usual excuse, hoping that she'll buy it., but deep down he knew that she wouldn't. Usagi didn't move she just looked more determined.
"Don't give me that B.S. Mamoru I want the real reason Damnit." Usagi eyes were flaring, Mamoru clenched his jaw, DAMN he thought. He had to think of something fast, or…he would spill. He averted his eyes from her glare. "All right if you can't answer a simple question like that try to answer this, did you ever love me?" Usagi's voice quavered for a second but she immediately strengthened it. Mamoru's eyes quickly darted towards her. How can she think that he never loved her, of course he loves her, but she couldn't know that. He then began to become nervous, was she going to find out his secret, was she going to find out that all he's ever said to her it the past week were all a lie.
Usagi's heart was beating so hard waiting for his answer, say it Mamoru, say that you still love me, Usagi pleaded in her head. Her hand was trembling waiting for his answer, her whole body had gone rigid. Eyes tearing up she looked at him, determined to get an answer for him. The anticipation was killing her, she wanted so bad to know, but at the same time didn't. Thoughts were running through her head what if he said he didn't what would she do. No matter what the outcome might be, she thought, she would be true to her word, if he said he didn't love her she would leave him be….forever.
Mamoru bit his lip. He knew what he had to do, he cleared his throat and said in an almost choking matter, "I…don't love..you, I never…loved you." Usagi gasped and Mamoru tried to be as emotionless as possible. Usagi was shocked to say the least, but somewhere in her heart she knew he would say that but him actually saying was almost too much to bear.
"Why" Usagi managed to squeak out.
Mamoru closed his eyes and told her the biggest load of shit ever, "I thought I could learn to love you at first…..like Endymion loved Serenity but I..I cant live a lie." He felt like barfing after he said that, those were all lies, his heart yearned to say, but his mind wouldn't listen to it. Usagi closed her eyes trying to calm her stricken nerves.
Her heart was shrieking in agony but he didn't have to know, he was being truthful, she had asked for the truth. Oh but how she wished she could take it back, to never have asked him to tell her the truth. It hurt, her heart, her soul, her whole body, it hurt. She breathed in deeply trying to keep placid.
She took a deep breath and gave a weak smile, "Thanks for being honest." she finally said. She looked down and turned around, she didn't want him to see her tears. She quietly walked away from him, hands clutched towards her chest. It was over she realized it was all over.
Meanwhile Mamoru stayed bolted to the floor not believing what just happened. Why didn't she cry, bawl, complain, act like..like herself. He would've felt heaps better then he does now. His heart wrenched was this over, no it couldn't be. Had he sealed his fate? She was kidding about the leaving him alone thing right, she didn't mean it. She would one day come back to him when he got all the nightmares sorted out, but what if he couldn't sort out the nightmares. What if she wouldn't come back to him, his face paled. What have I done?
