A/N: I'm addicted to this pair. It's like crack! When you think Zanpaktou think the spirits as in the anime recently. It makes far more sense.
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"But Kuchiki-san master said-"
"I am saying no! Not in my head!"
"But-" Tried both.
"NO!"
"But-"
"Where is your master now?!" She snapped.
"I-In his office."
"Where are you going Rukia?" Byakuya intoned as she jumped to her feet.
"To tell the stupid Ice prince what's what! Thinks he can send them to my head! No!" She stormed from the room.
She calmed herself down as she strode towards the tenth division. If she was going to be dealing with their arrogant taichou she needed to keep her head.
When she strode in the door five minutes later she was the perfect Kuchiki. He looked up from his paperwork at the disturbance.
"Kuchiki-"
"Absolutely not." She said, flattening her palms on his desk.
He cocked a challenging eyebrow.
"Well they are not using my head."
"And that makes mine okay?! No way. My head is officially off limits for matters of that sort!"
"I'm your superior."
"You can shove your superiority where the sun doesn't shine because it. Is. Not. Happening!"
"I'm busy!"
"So am I! And if you were a gentleman we wouldn't be having this argument!"
"I am a gentleman which is exactly why I don't want to watch."
"News flash! Gentlemen do not have voyeuristic tendencies that they need to escape in the first place!"
"Our Zanpaktou are NOT doing THAT in my head Kuchiki!"
"Well they sure as hell aren't staying in mine!"
"Hyorinmaru is sleeping with Shirayuki?!"
"Shut up!" Both Ice wielders barked at Matsumoto before turning back to each other, glaring.
"Lets ask them then."
"Fine by me." Rukia snarled.
"Shirayuki, Hyorinmaru who's scarier?"
"Rukia." Said both, immediately.
"WHAT!" Shouted Hitsugaya.
"Sorry master but it's true…"
"Your head it is then!" Said Rukia cheerfully.
"Hey-What-? No!"
"They chose Hitsugaya-taichou. Try not to oogle my Zampaktou too much."
"KUCHIKI!" He roared.
Matsumoto was laughing so hard at that point that she fell off the couch, still laughing hysterically when she hit the floor. Neither Ice wielder paid her any heed however.
"Well… I guess we could be fair and use both your heads…"
"Both-"
"What?!"
"PUBLIC SCAPE. BOTH OF YOU. RIGHT NOW!" Yelled both Shinigami.
"But master Haineko is a perve-"
"I don't care if Haineko is a pervert!" Hitsugaya snapped.
"Rukia-chan please-"
"She can join in for all I care Shirayuki now take it outside."
"Stupid Haineko." Grumbled both wielders once the spirits were gone. Matsumoto was still laughing and tried to catch her breath…
"Oh gods…" She gasped. "I can't believe you're arguing over where your Zampaktou's do the dirty." She dissolved into giggles once more.
"This argument is the result of the perverse nature of that were-cat of yours Matsumoto. I suggest you shut up right now." Hitsugaya growled.
Matsumoto just laughed harder.
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A/N: Pure humour but you gotta love it with this pair. Ah the joys of Hitsuruki!