The look in his golden eyes, full of wonder as he looked at her.
That contagious smile he only seemed to give her.
Slowly, he was starting to realize it.
And Kaoru couldn't deny what he was seeing as he watched.
Hikaru was growing up, he was maturing. He was able to understand things better than he used to, he was slowly starting to realize his feelings too. Hikaru loved Haruhi, and Kaoru didn't deny it. But for now, until Hikaru realized his feelings, Kaoru held him safely in his arms like a good brother would. It pained him to watch his older brother grow, it was a good thing, that he was quite sure of, but it was coming all too soon. He was ready to let go, it just wasn't what he wanted.
Kaoru was scared for Hikaru knowing that once he let go there would be no one to constantly stand beside him. Not unless Haruhi chose to, but that was a doubted factor. So to watch his older brother journey out into a world alone, it felt strange. Hikaru was maturing, but he was still immature. Would he be able to deal with the true pains of what life had to offer in a cold harsh reality? And if he could take some but turn to a time where he couldn't, running back to his younger identical, would Kaoru be able to let go again?
Kaoru wasn't only scared for Hikaru, he was also scared for himself. Once he lets go, what will he do with himself? He lived for his older brother and his brother's happiness. He loved his brother, and he was sure that if anyone was going to stand next to him for the rest of his life he wanted it to be him. Kaoru knew that in some things he was stronger than his brother, but there were some things his brother was unconditionally stronger. Though, letting go, would that weaken him?
Cinderella, when the clock struck 12, she let go of the greatest night of her life. The spell broke. No turning back. If she could do Kaoru thought he could too... couldn't he? The spell will break with him too, the host club will end. They will all part ways, just like Cinderella, her Prince, and a dream come true with a happy ending. Everyone knows happy endings are cliched, and for it to happen wouldn't be possible.
Hikaru... Sweet and bashful Hikaru. Kaoru's dearest possesion, the more the thought lingered in his mind, it became harder than it should've been, his grip became tighter, hesitating to loosen.
The look in his older brother's eyes sparkled often more and more, his smile becoming more gentle and bright. The time was coming.
He watched as brother slept beside him, unaware of his younger brother watching him. Kaoru wanted him longer, even if it wasn't long enough, just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer to stand by his brother, hand in hand. Just a little bit longer to be held by his brother following a "forbidden love" act. Just a little bit longer to have a moment, like this one, to watch the other sleep peacefully as happy dreams filled their mind and be there to hold them when a nightmare took place.
Day by day, hour by hour. The time was coming. The countdown had started. Grip tightening, tear jerking.
Hikaru was growing up so fast, maturing so fast. At a pace that Kaoru couldn't keep up with. Maybe, he was the one who needed to mature, not Hikaru. It would help letting go a lot easier... maybe.
Minute by minute, second by second. ...Stop.
A storm was raging and rain was falling hard at the back of Kaoru's mind. This was it. That time came, he was shaking as he stood at the entrance of Ouran Academy, his older twin staying behind to talk to Haruhi. His actions were hesitant, so this is was it felt like...
It felt the wall they had put up was crashing in hard cold rain. The world they had created was crashing even harder. All of this taking place in his mind. Tears, hesitantly deciding whether to fall, hung at the edges of his eyes. The rain was escaping the back of his mind into a physical reality. Falling to his knees, the wall was crashing making it cause more damage in both mental and physical ways.
This was a moment where he briefly wondered in whose arms he was in. Who was caring enough to hold him?
He shakily stood. It was going to be okay, he thought then quickly shook his head, chuckling bitterly. It won't, but maybe. He can start building the wall again, and hopefully... On the way, he would sit safely in someone else's arms.
A/N: I HATE HOW I ENDED THIS. Although, I kind of like this fic, while writing though I felt like crying a couple times. Sad isn't it? XD Well, I was listening to "In My Arms" by Plumb while writing it. But, I think I gave Kaoru an older brother complex, which doesn't seem right cause he's the younger brother...
I don't own Ouran High School Host Club or it's characters. Neither do I own the song "In My Arms" or Plumb.
Please, review and tell me what you think! I'd love to hear your opinons.