Preface
I always knew it was too good to be true. I always knew that there was no way Edward Cullen could ever love me, but I allowed myself to believe it anyway. He told me that he loved me and I was his life. The sad part is that I believed him. I mean really how could he ever love me? Isabella Swan? I'm plain and boring. I'm not really that pretty. I've never had a boyfriend and not one guy has ever called me pretty. I've always been invisible.
Edward made me feel like a teenager for the first time. He made me feel beautiful inside and out. He brought me to life. I love and trusted him and he betrayed me. He ripped my heart out then stomped all over it. He told me that he didn't love me, that he was leaving and he didn't want me to come with him. I pleaded with him over and over, but he left me there in the woods on the forest floor sobbing.
I will never forget that day. It will forever hunt me. I feel so lifeless, but I also feel intense pain. Sometimes I just can't stop the tears from falling from my eyes. I thought he would be the one I would spend forever with, but I guess my fairytale ending wasn't to be. Something in the back of my mine tells me that he still does love me, but I can't bring myself to believe that. If he loved me, he wouldn't have left me. He would've stayed by my side. He would've loved me.
I can't believe I allowed him to manipulate me. He played me like his fucking piano. I've been crying for four weeks straight none stop over that fucking hypocrite. That bloodthirsty bastard. Fucking monstrous prevaricator. Damn tyrannical fucker. I can't believe I wasted four weeks of my fucking life crying and wallowing in sorrow. Fuck this shit! No more fucking crying. No more wallowing.
All the shit he told me was bullshit. I actually thought he loved me. I actually thought his family loved me, but I guess I thought wrong. They didn't even say good-bye. To hell with him. To hell with them all. I don't need this shit. I Isabella Marie Swan be damned if I self-destruct.
A Psychotic Woman,
Isabella Marie Swan