DISCLAIMER: All rights J.K.Rowling's. I don't own any of this. property of itself. Sorry if I use anyone's story title or summary or penname or anything, I'm just making this up as I go along.
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Luna Lovegood was staying with her Muggle-born friend for the Winter holidays. This ought to have been an impossible occurrence, in and of itself, because Luna Lovegood did not have friends. But she'd managed to wrangle an invite out of one of the girls in her dorm. She'd always wanted to see a Muggle house. She had imagined they'd be very interesting, full of the interesting contraptions Muggles dreamed up. And she was right. Her 'friend' Brigid Dunstan had explained as best she could, but Luna still found everything from microwaves to vacuum cleaners utterly fascinating. So fascinating, in fact, that she had thoroughly examined evry single one of them.
Well…there was one. One machine she had not yet tried and tested. It was a little intimidating, even for Luna. All those rows of little black buttons…the sheet of blank darkness…and what it could do……
Luna Lovegood, future editor-in-chief of the Quibbler, researcher of less-than-known magical creatures, and try-anything must-know-all devoted-to-learning Ravenclaw, was absolutely terrified of Brigid's computer.
It wasn't even a large computer. It was what Brigid called a laptop, and it was, in fact, rather small, and could fold in half and become even smaller. But the vastness of the knowledge contained inside of it was simply devastating. Luna tentatively stabbed the power button. The dark screen lit up as the computer ran all its start-up screens, before showing Luna a perfectly innocent desktop, complete with cute actor background and AIM, Internet Explorer, and iTunes icons. Luna clicked on the Internet Explorer icon. Nothing happened. He clicked it again. Still nothing. She clicked it three times in quick succession, and finally a window popped open. That must be the trick, she decided. You had to click it three times. The window showed a number of mysterious buttons at the top of the screen, and a so-called 'website' underneath. Luna was unaware of the purpose of these buttons, but Brigid had told her 'just click around and you'll be fine.' Before walking out of the house to go visit her Muggle boyfriend. So Luna, staring with interest at the website, clicked on one of the buttons. It was marked 'books', and Luna liked books, so she thought perhaps she'd try that one first. More links. She saw one that said 'Harry Potter', so she clicked that. Another list of links appeared, plus lots of words. Words were good, she could handle words. At the top of the list of links, she read 'Star-crossed', and underneath that, what appeared to be a description of what the link led to. "When Harry Potter met Draco Malfoy in his first year, he decided to loathe him for eternity. But somehow, in the Potterverse, things are never that simple. Can loathing turn to liking, or even loving, for two of the most star-crossed characters in existence?" she read aloud. "Well that is very strange. I know those people. Besides, they aren't star-crossed. Romeo and Juliet is star-crossed. Harry and Draco is utter disgust. What is this website, anyway?" She glanced at the top of the screen. Written there was 'Harry Potter FanFiction Archive – – Microsoft Internet Explorer. Fanfiction? Wasn't that stories people wrote about characters in books they'd read? Could Harry's story really be in a book somewhere? I'd like to read that book, if I can find it. I wonder if it's popular enough for me to find it in a Muggle bookstore? I wonder if I'm in it.
With this last thought, Luna clicked the drop-down menu marked 'Char: All'. She imagined Char was short for character, and if she was in the book at all, she would be on this list. The list seemed to go on an age. She spotted her name, but could not resist scrolling all the way to the bottom. When the list hit 'Zacharias S.' She scrolled back up to her name and clicked on it. Nothing happened. She frowned, then noticed a button marked 'Go'. She clicked on this, and finally a page of links with writing under them appeared. "Maid for a Day," she read. "When Luna Lovegood find sherself short on cash and deep in debt, she gets herself a job as a maid – at the prestigious Malfoy Manor. Working for Draco Malfoy is certainly a way to get cash, but could it be a way to get love as well?" she paused. "NO!" She moved on to the next one. They were all similar. Oh, Luna Lovegood, oh, unlikely circumstance, oh, she falls for some guy. But then one caught her eye, and she read this one out loud too.
"To Ask Her Out, or Not to Ask Her Out? I, Seamus Finnigan, seriously contemplating asking out Luna Lovegood, have listed the many reasons I should not ask her out. I then realised that fanfiction authors, as lustful as they are, would surely be interested by this piece, and have posted it accordingly."
She frowned again. Luna didn't frown much, but this website was befuddling, and it caused her much heavy contemplation, which caused much frownage. In fact, she thought, this website is more complex than the safety precautions used by the Water Ruisar to protect itself from the Heliopath. But she clicked on the link anyway. It was possible it was just another fanfiction, posted by someone who thought it would be interesting to write something like this, but it was also possible that Seamus, who had a Muggle father, owned a computer and knew about this….
So she read the fanfiction.
A/N: I know most of you don't believe I am actually Seamus Finnigan because I (he?) am/is just a character in a book. But it happens I am real, as is Luna. Too real, in fact. So here is my list, whether you believe in it's authenticity or not.
DISCLAIMER: J.K.Rowling officially holds the rights to mine and Luna's names, plus any other Harry Potter 'characters' mentioned in this list, and I don't want to get myself sued or anything, so let's just pretend I don't own my identity, alright?
Reasons I Should Never Ever Ever Ask Luna Lovegood Out:
She is crazy. She's always running around, waving her arms and talking about imaginary creatures. God, I love it when she does that. It's so cute.
She is unpopular. I could never live down the shame of asking out somebody like that. Sometimes I wonder if I even care.
She doesn't talk to me. I don't think she knows I exist.
She would probably say no. She doesn't seem like the kind of person who would want a boyfriend, you know?
She might say yes. What would I do if she said yes? Probably act like I'd been joking and blow her off. I'm a terrible person.
She would say no, because she is too beautiful to go out with me. Her hair is just gorgeous. It kind of sparkles. And those big blue eyes. They really get to me.
If she said yes, I think I'd handle it badly. I wouldn't know how to act around her. I don't have a lot of experience with girls.
I think she might be dating Harry Potter. He took her to Slughorn's Christmas party. It nearly killed me.
She's a Ravenclaw, I'm a Gryffindor. She's light-hearted, air-headed, and smart. I'm brave, kind of funny, and game for a laugh at any time. What do we have in common?
I want to ask her more than I've ever wanted anything, and that scares me.
Luna, eyes wide, heart pounding brutally, clicked on the link for reviews. Most of the people, some of them with names like 'Mrs.Malfoy13ABCD', had posted things like 'wow, great idea, it was cool how you acted like you were Seamus' and 'OMG I LOVE SEAMUS AND LUNA TOGETHER WRITE MORE PLZ!' No one considered that it could actually be Seamus. But Luna knew Seamus. If you'd been in love with him for four years, you'd know him pretty well too. And she wondered. She clicked the link to the author's page. He had written a few stories, all of them real relationships. She recognized a couple of the conversations. Ones she had heard Ron and Lavender, or Ginny and Dean, actually having. He also had a few stories about him and her. In some of them they got together. In some, she shot him down. They obviously reflected Seamus's changing moods as he thought about how it might turn out. Luna wondered briefly if perhaps a Yellikwet had got in his food somehow. Eating them made you switch violently between optimism and pessimism.
Eventually she went back to Seamus's list and hit review. With trembling fingers, she typed 'Are you really Seamus Finnigan?' and clicked send. A minute later she got a reply. Obviously he was online. She read the reply he had sent her. 'Yes. Do you believe me?' She considered that for a second then smiled. 'Yes,' she typed. 'Meet me at the statue of Gregory the Smarmy on the seventh floor at midnight the day we get back.' She hit send and closed the window. Brigid would be home soon, and Luna didn't want her to know about any of it. She kept the secret close to her, like a pet or a child. Just like she kept it secret from everyone that she loved Seamus, she could keep it secret from them that he loved her back.
End of chapter. There will be one more, then I will be done.