A/N: It's been so long since I've posted, hasn't it? For those of you who don't know, I'm Chrissa, formerly xXChristinePotterXx. This is a quick little Valentine's Day oneshot. It's not really fluffy, but I've never been good at all out fluff anyway. Hope you take the time to read and enjoy. Reviews would be spectacular. - Chrissa

I'd Never
by xx Bewitching x3

"Ravishing," Sirius Black assured his comrade in a bored voice.

"Don't joke, Padfoot," James Potter flustered as he stood in front of the mirror. His hazel eyes scanned his tall and somewhat lanky frame. He absentmindedly ruffled his raven-colored hair, giving it his trademark windswept appeal. The wand in his right hand flicked again, and the midnight blue robes he was wearing turned a sickening yellow. "What about this color?" he asked his mate seriously.

"It hurts my eyes," Sirius answered, shielding his grey orbs from view and making a retching sound in mock-disgust. James flicked his wand again; he was now wearing an obnoxious set of hot pink robes.

"These will do," he said quietly, suddenly cheerful. Sirius scowled.

"I will not be seen with you if you continue to wear that eye sore."

James laughed. "You could do with getting in the spirit as well." He turned, gave his wand another wave, and Sirius's robes were no longer black, but a deep, velvety scarlet.

"Fix them, Prongs. Put them right," Sirius said menacingly, as his own frantic charmwork would not correct the color change. He turned toward the mirror, and his frown morphed into a grin. "Hey. . . These aren't half bad. . . ."

"Yes, yes. Now come on or we'll be late for breakfast," James pestered, shoving Sirius (who was busily straightening the black trim on his new robes) out the door of their seventh year dormitory.

When they entered the Gryffindor common room, they were met with a wave of silence. After several moments of collective quiet and standing on the boys' staircase, the pair descended upon the many gawking Gryffindors. A nearby third year giggled.

"What are you doing?" Remus Lupin, their other close friend, asked in a stage-whisper as he met them at the bottom of the steps. He looked over his shoulder and gave a nervous grin, hopng this would give his classmates enough warning not to look. When no one turned away, his cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

"Getting ready for Valentine's Day," Sirius said, fully enjoying his new robes and the attention they received. Two seventh year girls looked over at him, and he gave them a lopsided smile.

"You look like you're getting ready for a trip to St. Mungo's Janus Thickey ward."

"Oh, Moony, don't be silly!" James said, steering Remus away from the staircase and towards the portrait hole. "We're simply expressing our love for this great holiday!"

Even as Remus muttered himself hoarse with protest, James and Sirius pulled him along down the corridor towards the Great Hall. Slytherins guffawed at their appearance, but Sirius meerly jinxed them. Ravenclaws rolled their eyes at the two Marauders' audacity, but Hufflepuffs took it in good humor, smiling slightly and saying hello. The Gryffindors were too embarrassed to even acknowledge them.

Entering the Great Hall to another wave of silence, the trio sat down beside their fourth mate, Peter Pettigrew, and they all began to stuff themselves with food. All but Remus, that is.

"What is the plan this year?" he said apprehensively, eyeing the lurid pink sleeves dangling from James's wrists.

"Wuh pwan?" James asked, his face full of muffin.

Peter looked up from his cereal, startled when he finally saw the robes, but spoke nonetheless. "The Valentine's Day plan. The plans you've been thinking up annually since third year.The plans to," he cleared his throat, "'win Lily's heart.'" He said the last three words in an uncanny imitation of James's voice.

James shrugged, the fabric on his shoulders bunching up. "I guess I forgot," he said as calmly as possible, returning to his muffins. Sirius choked on his bacon, and Peter helped by thumping him on the back.

"Forgot? Are you mad?" Sirius asked, once his airways were free of pork. "You're joking, right?" James shook his head, and Sirius gasped in disbelief. "Moony! Check his temperature!"

James jerked away from Remus's outstretched hand. "I'm fine, all right! Can't I enjoy my holiday in peace?" He stood up from the table and walked away, his pink robes still billowing mockingly behind him.

OoOoO

James was now walking moodily along the corridor, sulking and gazing out various windows. His friends had been doing this all year, trying to tell him he had gone mad since he stopped pranking and bothering Lily Evans. He wasn't crazy; he was leaving her alone. She had made it clear enough in the past few years that she hated his guts, despite the fact that he was in love with her.

In like with her, he corrected himself shiftily. In like.

Since third year Valentine's day had been his favorite holiday, because it was the only day of the year that Lily found his behavior towards her even remotely tolerable. He had always overdone it, come to think of it. Last year, he had charmed some red confetti to shower her throughout the day, as well as convinced ten house elves to dress up as ugly (or, as he thought, amusing) looking Cupids. He even wrote a song, with which the elves serenaded her with at dinner. She was obviously upset with the display, but never said a word about it to James. Her utmost embarrassment is what made him leave her be. He could not stand to see her hurt expressions.

He heard footsteps down the hall, and quickly hid himself in a secret passageway behind a tapestry. He was really not up for people at the moment.

". . . did you see? He showed up looking like a flamingo! Honestly, you'd think he'd have enough sense to at least turn on a light before he gets dressed in the morning," said an all-too-familiar voice.

"Black's robes were all right, though," said another rememberable voice thoughtfully.

"Yes, I must admit they weren't nearly as obnoxious as his standards call for. But Potter! Ugh! I really can't believe him. I hope he doesn't try anything this year; I'm really quite tired of his antics, and if he tried fussing over me today, I'd --"

"Can you stop talking about him for five minutes?" The pair was now level with James's tapestry and had stopped, and he knew exactly who they were. "All day long: James Potter this, James Potter that. Why don't the pair of you go hide in the broom closet and have a ruddy snog fest, for heaven's sake!" said the second girl in a frustrated voice. It was Natalie Dennis, Lily's best friend.

"That was uncalled for!" said Lily Evans shrilly.

"Oh bugger off!" Natalie shouted, and by the sound of the footsteps, she walked off alone. Lily groaned angrily.

"'All day long' my arse," she muttered to herself as she leaned against the stone wall next to the tapestry. James leaned against one of the walls in the passage, hidden from view as he fiddled with his robes. The slid down their individual patches of stone in unison.

A few minutes went by with neither person moving. James finally heaved a gigantic sigh, and said something to break the ice only he knew existed. "Do I really look like a flamingo?"

Lily shrieked, not being able to see the voice that had spoken. She jumped up, but bound by curiousity, she stayed in the hall. "Who's there?" she questioned, her voice cracking slightly from nerves. James winced and reluctantly poked his head out of the slit in the tapestry. His head appeared above Ganglin the Giggly's shoulders. It was quite a sight until he came completely out of hiding.

"Why the bloody hell are you back there?" Lily asked incredulously. "And how much did you hear?"

He sighed. "I was walking and I heard footsteps. I'm not feeling very friendly at the moment, so I hid. And I heard everything from 'showed up looking like a flamingo' to 'bugger off.'" He rocked back and forth on his feet for a second. "Oh yeah, and 'all day long my arse.'" A smiled played dangerously at his lips.

He chanced a glance at her, and saw her hand running through her vivid red hair. Even when she was frustrated and embarrassed she looked simply stunning. Then her emerald gazers set sight on him.

"Well?"

He was taken aback by this question, thoroughly lost. "What?"

"Get on with it," she said rather impatiently.She placed a hand on her hip, her average height falling just short of his chin.

"On with what?"

She huffed again. "Don't play stupid, Potter, it's February fourteenth. And I haven't been attacked by confetti, house elves, or fluttering doves. So get on with it, get it out of your system. Don't keep me in suspense," she added dully. James looked at her, perplexed.

"There is no 'it' to get on with," he said, still fingering the headache-inducing robes. "I. . . I didn't want to bother you this year."

They stared at each other. Her in black, him in pink. "So what are they for?" she said suspiciously, pointing at his garments. He dropped the fabric and shrugged.

"Bit of personal holiday spirit," he muttered sadly. He lifted his wand (an action Lily swiftly withdrew from) and charmed his robes black. Silence came once again.

"So. . ." Lily said, finally speaking. ". . . That's it?"

"What's it?" he asked stupidly.

"That's all for the day? Nothing but pink robes? No doves? No lilies? No Honeydukes' chocolate?"

He nodded slowly, "That's a good thing, though, right?"

She ruffled her hair again, the same time he rumpled his own. They dropped their hands and she shifted her weight to her other foot. "I. . . guess so." She cinched her brows in thought. "It is a bit odd, though. The past three years of getting all that stuff, and now suddenly nothing."

Now he was confused. "But you just told Dennis that you don't want me to do anything this year. From the way you said it, I had the feeling you'd cause me bodily harm." She looked at him briefly and shrugged.

"You know I wouldn't do that," she said softly yet completely annoyed. The situation was getting awkward, and a silence set in once more.

"I'll just be going then," she said, turning away and walking down the corridor in the direction of Natalie. He watched her travel further away, and suddenly heaved a big sigh. Then he followed her.

"Wait up, Evans," he said, stopping in front of her. He looked her in the eyes to make sure she was paying attention, and pulled his wand back out of his pocket. She flinched, and he looked at her reproachfully.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said reasonably. "I'd never." He gave his wand a flourish, and a pale pink rose appeared in the air between them. He snatched it up deftly with a seeker's reflexes, and inspected it. Then he handed it gracefully to her. "Happy Valentine's Day," he added simply. She took it apprehensively in her hand.

"Thank you," she said quietly, twirling the petaled plant in her fingertips. Then she noticed something. "Where are the thorns?"

"I already told you; I'd never hurt you."

She looked into his hazel eyes, and was surprised when her breath caught in her lungs. "That's very sweet of you, James."

He grinned a small smile, then he walked back down the opposite direction of the corridor, now feeling much better than he had in weeks.

"You did look rather like a flamingo," she called light-heartedly. She still had not moved since accepting the gift. "You were only missing the feathers." He laughed, and it echoed along the windowless stone walls. A distant rumble told him breakfast was over. Thank goodness it's Saturday, he thought, no classes.

"Damn," she said, still turning the flower. He went back towards her to hear more clearly. "Looks as if I've missed breakfast." Laughter and talking creeped around the corner.

"I could take you to the kitchens, if you're hungry," he said cautiously. People spilled into the corridor. Lily glanced around, looking much like a startled deer. She suddenly yanked him behind the tapestry.

"Does this mean no breakfast?" he joked as he watched her peek through the cloth. He couldn't even see her face but he knew she was blushing a bright pink.

"I sort of got into an arguement with one of the girls in my dorm this morning," she explained. "I'm not feeling very friendly either, after having two fights in a row." She turned to him in the dark. "So can we still get something to eat?"

"Of course, Lily." He started jogging down the passage he knew by heart, but noticed she wasn't following him. "Something wrong?"

She seemed to have just finished debating with herself. Brandishing her own wand, she gave it a little twirl. His robes were a garish shade of pink again.

"What's this for?" he said with a smile as she lit her wand and passed him, now leading the way.

"Well," she said, "I've always had a liking for flamingos." She grinned, her face (and the rose she had placed behind her ear) shimmering in the wandlight. And, almost too quick to notice, she gave him a swift kiss on the cheek.

He stopped in his track as she continued on. Thunderstruck, he touched the spot where her lips had been, and his face broke into the widest grin he'd had all year. I love Valentine's Day.