DISCLAIMER: It wouldn't be smart to sue me. I'm just a senior in high
school, so logically I have NO money!
FEEDBACK: I would love it!
ARCHIVE: Sure, would love it. Just let me know first!
Author's Note: Please note that this is my first Witchblade fic! And please note, once more, that this is not making fun of Witchblade. I would never do that, for I am a true fan to the incredible show. This is just to throw in some humor.
~ Nonsense Is A Virtue! ~
Chapter 1 - Does That Thing Glow?
Detective Sara Pezzini comes to face to face with an enchanted bracelet. Not just any enchanted bracelet, "The Enchanted Bracelet!" What was it called again? * Voice actor looks at the director * Oh, yeah, the WITCHBLADE!
Sara walks in the police department. Detectives Jake and Danny are looking at something on top of the desk and talking to themselves.
Sara: Hey guys! What's up?
Jake: Hey, Pez!
(The two cops continue to be sloped over the desk.)
Sara: Is there a new case or something?
Danny: (Turns around and looks confused and starts talking like a girl off of Clueless.) We're trying to figure out how to do this puzzle and it just to hard.
Sara: Let me see.
(Sara walks over to the desk and sees a Mr. Potato Head.)
Jake: (Lifts up the nose.) Where does this go? (Looks dumb founded.)
(Sara leaves the office shaking her head.)
(While walking to her bike, Sara sees the assassin Ian Nottingham appear from a corner.)
Sara: Quit doing that you freak!
Ian: You wound me Sara.
Sara: What do you want, Nottingham?
Ian: (Starts grinning.) Did I show you my new sword? Look! (Pulls it out and swings it around) Isn't it shiny? (Continues swinging it around till it leaves his hand and stabs a guy in the back.) Ooops . . . gotta go!
(Sara sees "Time" magazine and notices that Kenneth Irons is on it.)
Kenneth: Hello, Sara. (He smiles at her.)
Sara: Y . . . you're dead!
Kenneth: (Starts to reply but then stops.) Tell me, do you think this picture makes me look fat?
Sara: What do you want Mr. Irons?
Kenneth: Well, like you don't know. (Rolls his eyes.) I want that little glowy thingy on your wrist.
Sara: If you want it . . . then take it.
Kenneth: I'm dead you moron! (Rolls his eyes once more.)
Sara: (Yells at the picture.) Then leave me the hell alone!
(Gabriel shows up.)
Gabriel: Uh, Pez?
Sara: (Turns around and sees Gabriel.) Umm . . .
Gabriel: So . . . got a new case so I can tell you stuff that I have no clue what they mean.
Sara: (Gives a disappointed look.) Unfortunately, no one wants to kill people anymore. (Sara's boss, Dante shows up.)
Dante: (Keeps eying Sara.) Hello, Pezzini.
Sara: (Looks at him with disgust.) Captain.
Dante: I have a new assignment for you. (Hands her a file.) This guy needs a bodyguard; he thinks that someone is trying to kill him. The address is down in the corner.
Sara: (Reads the address and looks up at Dante.) This is your address, Sir.
Dante: No it's not.
Sara: Yes it is.
Dante: (In a child's voice.) Is not.
Sara: Whatever! (Gives up.) When do I start?
Dante: How about tonight? Is seven good for you?
Sara: I suppose.
Dante: (Starts walking off but turns around to say one last thing.) Oh, and this guy wants you to wear a really short skirt that barely goes over your hips. Though, your shirts are all ready kind of high, maybe you should go up a little higher.
Sara: Okay, Captain.
Dante: It's a date, then?
Sara: What?
Dante: Nothing. (Starts running off as if he didn't say anything.)
Gabriel: Yeah, so about that bullet you gave me.
Sara: Did you find out what it's for?
Gabriel: Actually, I did. Apparently, there's this secret force inside the police and they give these things out as birthday presents for other cops.
Sara: They can't do that! That's wrong! I'm going to go to tell the media and get their secret out.
Gabriel: Be careful, Pez! This is dangerous stuff you're getting into.
Sara: I don't care. These cops are responsible for my father not getting one. He was so upset when he didn't get one for his birthday. It's wrong! They need to go to jail and then treated to capital punishment!
To Be Continued . . .
Next week on Witchblade: "Ooh . . . Ooh . . . looky! It turns into a big knife thingy!"
Author's Note: Okay, it's not very funny. But, hey I tried. I might end up deleting this thing.
FEEDBACK: I would love it!
ARCHIVE: Sure, would love it. Just let me know first!
Author's Note: Please note that this is my first Witchblade fic! And please note, once more, that this is not making fun of Witchblade. I would never do that, for I am a true fan to the incredible show. This is just to throw in some humor.
~ Nonsense Is A Virtue! ~
Chapter 1 - Does That Thing Glow?
Detective Sara Pezzini comes to face to face with an enchanted bracelet. Not just any enchanted bracelet, "The Enchanted Bracelet!" What was it called again? * Voice actor looks at the director * Oh, yeah, the WITCHBLADE!
Sara walks in the police department. Detectives Jake and Danny are looking at something on top of the desk and talking to themselves.
Sara: Hey guys! What's up?
Jake: Hey, Pez!
(The two cops continue to be sloped over the desk.)
Sara: Is there a new case or something?
Danny: (Turns around and looks confused and starts talking like a girl off of Clueless.) We're trying to figure out how to do this puzzle and it just to hard.
Sara: Let me see.
(Sara walks over to the desk and sees a Mr. Potato Head.)
Jake: (Lifts up the nose.) Where does this go? (Looks dumb founded.)
(Sara leaves the office shaking her head.)
(While walking to her bike, Sara sees the assassin Ian Nottingham appear from a corner.)
Sara: Quit doing that you freak!
Ian: You wound me Sara.
Sara: What do you want, Nottingham?
Ian: (Starts grinning.) Did I show you my new sword? Look! (Pulls it out and swings it around) Isn't it shiny? (Continues swinging it around till it leaves his hand and stabs a guy in the back.) Ooops . . . gotta go!
(Sara sees "Time" magazine and notices that Kenneth Irons is on it.)
Kenneth: Hello, Sara. (He smiles at her.)
Sara: Y . . . you're dead!
Kenneth: (Starts to reply but then stops.) Tell me, do you think this picture makes me look fat?
Sara: What do you want Mr. Irons?
Kenneth: Well, like you don't know. (Rolls his eyes.) I want that little glowy thingy on your wrist.
Sara: If you want it . . . then take it.
Kenneth: I'm dead you moron! (Rolls his eyes once more.)
Sara: (Yells at the picture.) Then leave me the hell alone!
(Gabriel shows up.)
Gabriel: Uh, Pez?
Sara: (Turns around and sees Gabriel.) Umm . . .
Gabriel: So . . . got a new case so I can tell you stuff that I have no clue what they mean.
Sara: (Gives a disappointed look.) Unfortunately, no one wants to kill people anymore. (Sara's boss, Dante shows up.)
Dante: (Keeps eying Sara.) Hello, Pezzini.
Sara: (Looks at him with disgust.) Captain.
Dante: I have a new assignment for you. (Hands her a file.) This guy needs a bodyguard; he thinks that someone is trying to kill him. The address is down in the corner.
Sara: (Reads the address and looks up at Dante.) This is your address, Sir.
Dante: No it's not.
Sara: Yes it is.
Dante: (In a child's voice.) Is not.
Sara: Whatever! (Gives up.) When do I start?
Dante: How about tonight? Is seven good for you?
Sara: I suppose.
Dante: (Starts walking off but turns around to say one last thing.) Oh, and this guy wants you to wear a really short skirt that barely goes over your hips. Though, your shirts are all ready kind of high, maybe you should go up a little higher.
Sara: Okay, Captain.
Dante: It's a date, then?
Sara: What?
Dante: Nothing. (Starts running off as if he didn't say anything.)
Gabriel: Yeah, so about that bullet you gave me.
Sara: Did you find out what it's for?
Gabriel: Actually, I did. Apparently, there's this secret force inside the police and they give these things out as birthday presents for other cops.
Sara: They can't do that! That's wrong! I'm going to go to tell the media and get their secret out.
Gabriel: Be careful, Pez! This is dangerous stuff you're getting into.
Sara: I don't care. These cops are responsible for my father not getting one. He was so upset when he didn't get one for his birthday. It's wrong! They need to go to jail and then treated to capital punishment!
To Be Continued . . .
Next week on Witchblade: "Ooh . . . Ooh . . . looky! It turns into a big knife thingy!"
Author's Note: Okay, it's not very funny. But, hey I tried. I might end up deleting this thing.