Edward looked at me again. Even though we were in the darkest part of the forest, the moon found a way to break through dense branches to caress his furrowed brow. His eyes, the deepest black I had ever seen them, found mine. He said that he could not read my mind, but when he looked that deep into my eyes, I had to doubt it. "Bella, are you sure?" I looked back at him, to the best of my abilities. When I was that close to him, everything was difficult. "Edward, with every part of me I am sure." He looked at me sadly, and for the life of me, I could not see why. The forest was painfully quiet; the only noise was our breathing and the wind. We were lying on a blanket, in the middle of a forest, and I was about to be bitten by my vampire boyfriend. Edward had told me I would have to cut off all human ties, so we faked my death. We had waited until after graduation so I could see my parents one last time. After the Cullen's and I had made the fake death scene, I went to live with them for a week. "You can still go back," he had said yesterday, "There was no body… we could take you back." Present Edward looked over my neck with a mixture of lust and hunger in his eyes. I was ready, and I wanted him to stop the meaningless delays. "Are you ready, Edward?" He tore his eyes away from my neck and nodded. My heart quickened as he moved closer to my neck. He pinned my left arm above my head, and kissed the hollow on my neck. My whole life I had had a strange desire to be bitten, and it was about to be confirmed. I felt him breathe in, and he sunk into me. I gasped, partly because of the pain…and something else. I wasn't sure if it was because of the flow of blood from me to him, but I suddenly felt like I was being stroked…down there. The mixture of the pleasure and pain was indescribable, and without thinking, I moaned. He was laying only slightly on top of me before, but now he moved to cover my writhing body with his. I was becoming dizzy from the blood loss, but the feeling of lustful pleasure was still clear. I opened my eyes to see a cloud cross over the moon, casting a shadow. When I was about to climax, I blacked out.
I heard screaming, so loud I couldn't bear it. Pain was covering me, killing me. I am dying. Edward killed me. The screaming stopped, and started again. My ribs would break soon; this pressure on them was unbearable. They would crack … but they didn't. My chest was changing, growing, then, shrinking. I felt a prick in my arm, and the pain dulled slowly until it was gone. I slipped under again, and the blackness silenced the girl's screams.
I felt the pain come back. I lost track of time, becoming almost insane with the sheer weight of all my nerves screaming for release of this constant torture. Memories passed through my eyes, so fast I was not sure if I saw them at all. I saw unspeakable things; I was clawing my way out of a grave, to be pushed back in by...who? I struggled against the hands that held me, held me down. The screams that had been passing through my lips were growing louder. I couldn't scream that loud, could I? My legs were being crushed, beaten, I knew. That was the only thing that could cause this much pain. I wanted to kick, but I couldn't, not with the cracking noise that was splitting my ears. My face was wet, but from what, I couldn't say. A prick in my arm almost made me cry in joy. Please make it stop, I can't take this. The blackness came back, and I heard someone laugh. I wanted to hurt them. The dark nothing crept over me, and I would have kissed it if I had not been gone.
I woke up again, but the pain was not there. I opened my eyes, and was amazed. I was floating in a deep swirling fog. The whiteness blinded me, and I tried to squint, but I was unable. My black hair twirled in the breeze moving the fog around me. In the oppressive white, I saw a black shape. I was not afraid, and my body, I now noticed was covered in a white gown, so I was not ashamed either. I scoffed.
"Is something not to your liking?" The black shape, now apparently a black robed woman, was questioning me. She was floating also. I could only guess that this was a woman, by the voice. She was leaning down so I could not see a face, and the black robes did not reveal any tell tale bumps or curves.
"No, I just… white robes? Isn't that a little cliché?" I wasn't worried about being rude to this woman, for whatever reason.
"I can change the scene, if you would like." I heard the amusement in the voice of…whoever it was. I saw a flash of white, and then I was in the restaurant that Edward and I visited in Port Angeles, what felt like a million years ago. Edward was sitting across from me.
I leaned closer to him, smiling in what I hoped was a calm collected manner. "Edward, what the fuck is going on?" I spoke, still smiling, without moving my lips. I was relieved that what ever was going on, Edward was here with me. That was about all I had going for me. With Edward, I was safe.
"I am not Edward. My name is Cain. I changed the setting to this memory so you would be more comfortable. I am pleased to meet you." Fuck. My ace in the hole is gone. "Bella, I am going to talk to you for a few minutes, and then you will talk for a few minutes, but before that, I wanted to ask if this is a good place to have a long conversation?"
"Um, yes, this is fine." I was fairly sure that this was a really screwed up dream, so I was not extremely worried.
Edward/Cain took a breath and started to speak, " I am Cain, the father of all vampires. I killed my brother, Able and my punishment is to, for all eternity guide those who were murdered. I am here with you to discuss whether or not you wish to become a vampire, or to die. The choice is yours, and whatever decision that you make cannot be reversed. There will be no second chance, and you never remember this conversation."
That was a lot to swallow. "I did not know that you became a vampire." I wanted to delay this very weird dream from ending.
"Bella, you are never going to remember this, but yes, I was a vampire. I see that you are trying to delay us, and that is fine by me."
"I just feel like I already made the decision, and now I have to make it again. What do you mean you used to be a vampire?" I took a sip of the drink in front of me, and was surprised that it tasted normal, or, as normal as flat coke could taste.
"I am here as general purposes double-check for those who have been bitten. If someone was bitten against their will, and they do not wish to become a vampire, I will prevent them from turning. If someone has been bitten and was unaware, like Alice, for example, I can explain to them their situation and what vampires are like and what how they will have to live. They can choose what they want without any pressure. There are no time limits where we are, and for that matter, no other types of boundaries. I have been asked to go into many different situations while having this conversation," his lip twitched with a suppressed smile, "once, a woman and I had sex while discussing her future. I have also been horseback riding, swimming, flying, and gardening. Mostly I am talking to someone on Oprah's couch. Also, back to the time limit, you can take as long as you need to with the decision. However, I will know if you are taking advantage of me. I can help you in anyway that you need, i.e., I can help you flip a coin, rock-paper-scissors, pro and con list, ECT. I used to be a vampire, but I was given the choice of staying that way or guiding vampires for 10,000 years and going to heaven. I chose the latter. Excuse me," Cain turned to the waitress and said, "Could you get me some spinach and artichoke dip, please?" The waitress nodded and walked off. I was still amazed by the bizarre situation, but I doubted that I would make this up.
"Do you think I could ask some questions?" I was taking this seriously now. Being careful about your soul is on my to-do list.
"Go ahead, dear." Cain smiled warmly at the waitress, who came to hand him his dip. The low light cast dancing shadows on Edward- no, Cain's face, as he readied himself for questioning.
"So what does happen to my soul?" I reached into my pocket for some chap stick, but, was disappointed.
Cain held out a hand holding my favorite flavor, mint, his face looking like that of a pleased child. "I am so, so, so glad that you asked that. The smartest ones always do. When you become a vampire, your soul is ripped in half. One half is judged like anyone else's, and the other stays in the vampire body that you inhabit. When you die, or the world ends, whichever comes first, the good and bad are weighed, and the outcome determines where you travel to next. To clarify, the Cullen's family is not in serious danger because of their eating habits. Victoria and Laurent would be. The same system of good and evil is used in the new life that you live." He smiled at my contemplative expression and happily crunched into the dip.
"I-I… can you give me your opinion?" Now given the second chance to decide again it was not a bad thing that I had a relatively non-biased third party to help me choose.
"Well," Edward leaned back, " I think that you may be rushing into this. You have known this boy for, what, two years? To give up your life for the first love that you ever had is a little quick, because, excluding Jacob, you have had no contact with any other boy. But, on the other hand, you are already half dead, so making the choice would not really mean anything horrible. Your love for each other is the strongest that I have seen in a while, and I have been at this for a hell of a long time. I would go with the vampire. Worst case scenario, you break up." He looked at me for my reaction.
"I will be with Edward." I straightened my shoulders, ready for anything.
"I'll see you around, Bella. You have been a pleasure." Edward reached out to shake my hand.
"I'm sure you say that to all of the girls." I smiled at Cain, scooted out of my seat and started walking. The scene around me began to slow, and I smiled.At last. I am going to be with him. The people and shapes around me began to melt and distort as I walked towards the door. I put my hand on the cold metal of the door knob and turned. A flash of light, filling me with warmth and washing over ny body passed through me.The light was gone, and the pain was back.