Please Remember Me
By Rosa Heartlily for the songfic challenge
Disclaimer: please note that all Final Fantasy characters/creatures/locations belong to Squaresoft, and the lyrics from "Please Remember Me" belong to Tim McGraw.
This fic was written in response to a challenge set at DSL. The challenge was to write a fic inspired by the lyrics of Tim McGraw's song, 'Please Remember Me'.
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When all our tears have reached the sea
Part of you will live in me
Way down deep inside my heart
The days keep coming without fail
A new wind is gonna find your sail
And that's where your journey starts
Squall held out his hand to her, and she looked at it for a moment, unable to comprehend what he was asking. All around them, people were chatting and music was playing. Another resounding success for Chief Party Organiser Selphie. Selphie was somewhere nearby, she knew. They had spoken just a moment ago, giggling over something Irvine had done. Then Selphie had looked up, spotted Squall coming over, and moved away.
Just as she turned to halt Selphie's retreat, she had realised that he was right behind her, within touching distance. It was impossible to hear his approach in the noise and excitement of the party, but she felt him drawing closer and closer, as if his outstretched hand produced a tongue of fire that burned her as he came nearer. His proximity left her heart beating, her breath caught in her throat, her mouth dry.
The noise, the crush of other partygoers, the wine she had drunk, him - standing there. It was all too much. Her head was spinning, her senses reeling. And then he touched her, actually put his hand on her arm to turn her around to face him.
'Would you like to dance?' he asked, his eternally calm exterior belying the emotions which boiled within. It showed in his eyes, though, to those who knew him well enough.
And then he held his hand out to her, to reinforce the question he had just asked, and she stood there, staring stupidly at it, instead of accepting his offer and throwing herself into his arms.
[Chorus]
You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as a river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me
Suddenly, as if a switch had been thrown, her confusion melted away. Her normal, confident self regained control of her body from the frightened little rabbit which had been making such a mess of the situation. She looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and smiled.
His eyes were blue, deep and dark like a stormy sea. His tightly controlled emotions moved within their depths like ocean currents. To most people he would have seemed calm, assured, even slightly bored. But she knew him so much better than most people did.
She had stood by his side when he faced his oldest enemy, Seifer. She had watched his agony when he realised that 'Sorceress' Edea was once as dear to him as a mother. She had fought with him against the greatest enemy of all. Yes, she knew him well.
Still gazing into his eyes, she took his hand in hers.
'I'd love to dance,' she said.
Just like the waves down by the shore
We're gonna keep on coming back for more
Cause we don't ever wanna stop
Out in this brave new world you seek
Oh, the valleys and the peaks
And I can see you on the top
And suddenly she was in his arms, whirling around the dance floor in perfect time to the music. She thought back to the last time a dance was held in this room. That time the celebration had been for those passing their SeeD exam. Now they celebrated the defeat of Ultimecia, and the promise of a brighter future.
Last time he had danced here, he was slow and awkward at first, and she smiled at the memory. That poor couple that he had bumped into! He had completely ruined the girl's delicate shoes, and her companion had looked ready to punch Squall's lights out. Then the music had taken him, or rather he had allowed it to, and suddenly he had looked as if he had been dancing all of his life.
'A penny for your thoughts,' he murmured, his face close to hers so that he could be heard over the music.
'I was just thinking about the SeeD Ball,' she replied. 'Your dancing has certainly improved since then!'
'I had a good teacher,' he replied.
She did not see the expression that accompanied this statement, as she had spotted Selphie on the other side of the room dragging a reluctant Irvine on to the dance floor. The constantly changing lights flickered over Selphie's happy face as she gazed up adoringly at her cowboy. Once she had him out under the lights, she knew she would have to fight even harder to get him to leave.
Squall laughed with her to see them, and even raised a hand in greeting to his fellow warrior. Irvine returned the gesture, and manoeuvred Selphie over to where their companions danced cheek to cheek.
[Chorus]
You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as a river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me
'Ah, these ladies, eh, Squall,' Irvine began. 'They can get us to do anything once they put their minds to it!'
'Hey!' cried Selphie, punching him playfully on the arm. 'Last night you said if I didn't dance with you, you wouldn't speak to me again!'
Irvine pretended that the blow had really hurt, and rubbed at the sore spot, his bottom lip trembling. Selphie shook her head at him, mock-exasperated.
'I'll find a way of making it better for you, later,' she said, batting her eyelashes at him.
Irvine laughed, and whirled her away, so that they were soon lost amongst the other dancers.
She shook her head, still laughing, as she watched them go. They were so perfect for each other. She was achingly aware of the man who held her, yet abruptly shy of meeting his gaze again. She found herself scanning the room for some other of their companions from the fight against Ultimecia, someone, anyone, so that she wouldn't be alone with him.
A voice at the back of her head asked her what her problem was. Wasn't this what she had dreamed and schemed and prayed for? To be in his embrace, to feel his jacket against her cheek, to feel his hands pressing her body tightly against his?
At once her emotions were in tumult again. If Squall had not been holding her so tightly she would have fallen. As it was, she merely slumped against him, acutely aware of the warmth of his hands through the thin fabric of her dress.
[Bridge]
Remember me when you're out walking
When snow falls high outside your door
Late at night when you're not sleeping
And moonlight falls across your floor
When I can't hurt you anymore...
'Is everything OK?' he asked, his voice laced with concern.
'Y-yes,' she stammered. 'Everything's fine. I just felt a bit dizzy for a moment. I think I may have drunk too much!'
'Would you like to sit down, rest for a moment?'
'No!' she cried. Then she realised she had spoken loudly enough to draw the attention of those around them.
'No, I'm fine, really. Anyway, the song's nearly finished. It would be a shame to waste it.'
'OK, if you're sure?'
'Quite sure,' she smiled, meeting his eyes once more, feeling herself drown in their depths.
There were some people, she knew, who could pinpoint the exact moment when they had fallen in love. For her, there was no moment, no clear beginning to this sweet agony. For as long as she had known him, she had loved him; it was as natural as breathing. The thought of living her life without him was such an impossibility that it had never even occurred to her.
She had never known his feelings for certain, but she had always thought that they were less than hers. Not that he could not love, just that he did not love her, at least, not in the way she wanted him to. There were times in the recent struggle with Ultimecia that she had felt him warming to her, but then he would be all cold efficiency again. It had left her awash with doubt and as nervous as a schoolgirl.
And now, in the position she had dreamed of for so long, here she was analysing the situation again. Why could she not just enjoy the moment while it lasted? Enjoy the feeling of his body against hers, swaying to the rhythm of the music, the ever-changing lights casting first a pink, then a blue, then a green glow over his face.
Staring up at him, lost in the wonder of his perfect face, she was unaware that he had stopped dancing. She was gazing at his full mouth, imagining his lips against hers, sealing the magic of this night, this moment, making it last for eternity. Finally, it filtered through to her that they were the only couple still locked in an intimate embrace and she stepped away from him awkwardly.
[Chorus]
You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as a river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me
'The song's finished,' he said, looking as if he felt a little foolish.
'Yes, I-I'm sorry, I hadn't noticed. I was wondering……..' she broke off, aware that he was no longer listening. He was looking over her shoulder at something behind her. Her stomach turned to iced water within her. She did not bother to turn; she knew what she would see.
'I guess this is "Good night" then,' said Squall, shifting his gaze back to her.
She nodded, unable to speak. If she opened her mouth now, she would start to scream and never stop.
He leaned down to kiss her, his soft lips brushing against her cheek. She squeezed her eyes shut, desperate to turn her head so that his lips would touch hers, knowing that she never would.
'Good night, Quistis,' he said, and then he was gone, vanishing from her side to reappear at Rinoa's.
And she was more alone than she had ever been in her life.
Please remember me...
A/N: so, did you guess who 'she' was? Hope you enjoyed reading this. It didn't turn out exactly the way I had planned it to, but I'm quite pleased with the result.