Night Talk

Chloe parked the car on the driveway outside the small lodge. It was a quaint blue little house perched on top of a cliff overlooking the beach and the moving sea a good thirty feet down below. The "beaver hut," as they jokingly called it, had been hers and Max's for over a year now, and she was still in love with its peculiar nooks and angles where nothing was really straight or symmetric. As primitive as it was, she felt right at home here, secluded from the calamity of the world but still less than an hour drive from Arcadia Bay and a four hour drive from their home in Charleston. In a sense, this was her junkyard 2.0, where she could get away and wind down, though with some more comfy and upgraded scenery thrown in.

Chilling gusts whipped small grains of snow in her eyes and ruffled her chin-length, strawberry-blonde hair. She could see the smoke from the stubby chimney leak away in the wind and the glowing lights from the windows beckoning her. Chloe's heart made a small jolt.

Max!

The past ten years with Max had been a crazy ride, and a crazy good ride too, unexpected as it was. She smiled to herself and slammed the car door shut with a knee before hurrying up the winding path towards the warmth inside. Chloe skipped up the uneven stone steps to the newly white-painted front door and barged through with a bang.

"I'm home!" Chloe stomped off a small crust of snow that had accumulated on her boots and butted the door shut with her hip. "Max? Are you there?"

"I'm in here, babe," Max called from somewhere in the back of the house. "Still working through my photos for this upcoming exhibition. It's driving me nuts!"

"Alright, think ya can gimme a hand?" Chloe dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen table and started to unpack them. "There are two more bags in the car, plus the booze and a pie from Mom."

Max's petite figure appeared in the doorframe leading in to their little office, stretching her shoulders after too many hours nonstop at the computer. Chloe peered lovingly at her girlfriend since almost ten years and wife since seven. Nowadays Max kept her chestnut hair long, often in a pony tail that revealed her cute prominent ears. Max wasn't as sensitive about them today has she had been. Long ago she had been teased by the other kids for her ears, but Chloe had always loved them, then and now. They were just so… Max.

They stood there for a second just looking at each other, until Max shuffled up to Chloe and slid her arms around her in a tight hug.

"Ooof, cold!" Max said, scrunching her nose and looking up at Chloe. "Hey there, beautiful, it's nice to see you again."

"Hey…" Chloe returned the hug and kissed Max on the forehead. "I've missed your bony ass too. No fun being here all by myself. When did you arrive?"

"Took the bus from Portland this morning, been here since noon." Max kissed Chloe back and released the tall blonde from her embrace, who resumed sorting and stowing away the foodstuff. "More in the car, right?"

"Yup," Chloe nodded. "It's fucking freezing outside. And watch out for the winds or you'll whiff out to sea."

"That's one for the swear jar darling," Max said with a smile, "but thanks for the heads up".

Max went out in the chilly winds to Chloe's Volvo and retrieved the rest of the food and drink. Gnarly, Chloe's old truck, had sadly been retired as their main ride many years ago when it broke down for the umpteenth time. Max felt a sting in her heart when she thought about the old banger.

I guess everything has to come to an end eventually.

Chloe and Max finished putting away the groceries and took a moments rest in the sitting room where a small but energetic fire crackled away in the fireplace. They had opened a bottle of wine and were both sipping on a glass while watching the dancing flames and listening to the low moan of the wind trying to pry its way in through the cracks and crevices of the old house. Max let out a long sigh and reclined back in her Morris chair while stretching out her feet toward the fire. Chloe shot her a sidelong glance.

"Rough day?" she asked.

"No, not really, but long. It's nice to be here." Max closed her eyes. "Have you heard anything from Rach yet? When is she inbound? Will she bring company this time?"

"Yep, don't know, and nope," answered Chloe while still gazing into the fire. "Actually, she said she'll be here at five, but you know Rachel. She'll be here at six at the earliest, if her car doesn't break down. I told her to text me when she was on her way so we could get the food going. Should be soonish."

"She's a busy woman." Max took a long sip and stared contemplatively into the almost empty glass. "Do you ever regret not taking her up on her offer to go with her to Cali?"

"What?" Chloe coughed and sprayed wine over her shirt and trousers. "What are you talking about?" She looked down at her splotched clothes and waved a hand in annoyance. "Damn…you're acting a bit weird today, Max. What's going on?"

"Sorry, Chloe!" Max laughed. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've been looking through some really old photos today, for the exhibition you know, and there are loads of pictures of you and Rachel among them." She gave Chloe a sad smile. "It got me thinking a lot, of the past. You did go together so well. I was just reminded of that. I kind of ruined it for you two."

"Max, stop it. You know the story. Not to add to your guilt train, but she really helped me through a dark time of my life, when I had no-one. And she's still one of my best friends. She loves you too, you know that. But, you stayed in the Bay, so I stayed in the Bay, simple as that."

Max sighed again. "Yes, I know the story, and I'm very happy for it…for you."

"As damn right you should!" Chloe smirked. "End of discussion."

Chloe's phone buzzed. "Speaking of the devil, she is leaving Arcadia now and will be here in an hour." She smacked her palms down on the coffee table. "Let's go cook the shit out of this dinner!"

When Rachel finally came through the door, at least half an hour later than anticipated, both Max and Chloe hurried to meet her. She looked as fresh and beautiful as ever, her long auburn hair in two thick braids to either side of her head, on which she wore an thick woolen cap. Rachel's cheeks were glowing red as if she had spent the last hour walking briskly in the cold instead of driving, and she smiled a big mischievous smile. Her eyes shone happily at the sight of her two friends greeting her in the cramped hall.

"Max! Chloe! Cm'ere!" she said as she grabbed them in a hug before planting a kiss on each of their lips. "It's so great to see you guys! It was a terrible drive here with all the wind and snow. And I think it's picking up! But, I am very happy to be here now."

"Yeah, you are driving that damned old Maserati convertible for fucks sake, Chloe said smothering a laugh. "With tires this wide," she pinched her thumb and index finger. "Of course it was terrible drive!"

"Well, I had the roof up at least," Rachel scoffed cheerfully and took a step back to take a look at them with a cocked eyebrow. "So, my lovelies, how are my two favorite lesbians?"

"We're just fine," said Chloe. Max smiled in silent agreement.

"Yo, Rach, it's really good to see you too! Come on in. I hope you're hungry."

They helped Rachel with her coat, cap and scarf, then they sat down in the kitchen to eat at the neatly laid out table. It reminded Rachel a lot of a Thanksgiving dinner, which wasn't that surprising considering Thanksgiving had been just two days ago, and much of the food was leftovers brought back from Chloe's visit to see Joyce and David.

"Joyce is the best," declared Rachel happily as she dug in to her second helping of pumpkin pie. They had moved from the kitchen to the small sitting room. Max lay sprawled on the couch, resting her head in Chloe's lap. Rachel leaned back in the comfy chair, her legs splayed across the coffee table, a pair of borrowed yellow and blue knitted socks on her feet. "How is she by the way? And David?" She chewed thoughtfully. "I'd never have guessed you would actually make peace with him in the end. He was such an asshole back then."

"Me neither." Chloe snorted. "But that happened, as you know, thanks to Max." She combed her fingers gently through Max's hair. "They are both doing all right now, though David is getting a bit filled out at the waist so to speak. They are quite happy together I think. How are your folks?"

"Oh, they are good, same old, same old. They think I should grow up and settle down, marry someone, you know." Rachel showed a frown-face. "The usual shit shebang." She waved her spoon dismissively. "But! I have some gossip about former Blackwell students that you may not have heard!"

"Yay, slander time!" Chloe clasped her hands together in mock mirth which made the other girls giggle. "Dish it out, Rach!"

"Sorry, I have nothing saucy of the sort you want, but Vic has filed for divorce from her man. You know she and I work together sometimes, doing fashion shoots and such. She and Mártin have two small kids and several houses together, and frankly, everything's a mess for poor Victoria right now."

"I'm really sorry to hear that," said Max, looking thoughtful. "I really should call her. It's been way too long since we talked." Max sighed. "I am unbelievably bad at keeping in touch, I should be lucky having any friends left at all."

"Hear, hear," Chloe said with a grin. "Little miss perfect has her flaws after all."

"Call her," urged Rachel, reaching out and grabbing Max's arm. "I know she thinks very much of you since Blackwell, and she could really use a friend to talk to. This scatterbrain isn't helping her much I'm afraid." She whirled her index finger at her temple. "And we really aren't that close."

"Yeah," said Chloe, peering at Max, her mouth a thin line, "maybe shifting some focus off of your work to other things would actually be a good thing?"

Max shifted as if uncomfortable in Chloes lap but remained silent.

"On a sunnier note," continued Rachel, "Nathan and his wife have just had a sweet little daughter! You know he is shuttling between Tokyo and Melbourne, right? I haven't seen him in years. I don't think he's been back to the states since he left the first time. I imagine he is more than happy to have escaped the Prescott yoke. I don't think he and Sean even speak anymore."

"I bet," Chloe scoffed. "Well, it's good to hear he escaped the asylum with his sanity more or less intact."

"Wait, wait, I'll show you pictures!" Rachel fished up her phone and started flicking through it. "Here, isn't she cute!"

"Adorable!" squeaked Max. "Look, Chloe!"

"Awwww, look at that!"

Rachel gave the cooing pair an amused look. "How about you guys? No kids in the pipeline so to speak?" Her eyes widened at the uncomfortable silence that ensued. "Oh... oh... I think I just broke couple etiquette rule number one. I'm so sorry guys…"

"Well…" said Chloe, fidgeting with her hands, "we have actually been talking about it."

"But nothing conclusive yet," added Max quickly.

Seeing the tense look on their faces, Rachel decided to drop the subject for now. Damn my stupid mouth, she thought. "Well, so what's going on in your lives then? Are you still at the OIMB, Chloe?"

"Yup, and still loving it," she grinned toothily, clearly relieved by the change of topic. "I get to captain a boat! Chloe Bluebeard, spreading science over the seven seas! And the diving is fun. And sea-otters! Who would say no to otters?"

"Ah, I always knew you would end up in the otter trade, somehow." Rachel laughed and jabbed Chloe playfully in her side. She then turned to Max.

"And look at you, Max, or Professor Max, I should say! Congratulations!"

Max blushed sweetly and mumbled, "Assistant Professor, aaaand it's only part time, so I have time for my own photography…"

"And then me," interjected Chloe with a small laugh that didn't meet her eyes.

Rachel laughed politely along with her before cutting it short to say, "You must have worked your ass off for that position. But Chicago, thats pretty far away! How do you guys manage?"

"Do we?" Chloe asked with a slight laugh.

"It's not easy," agreed Max. "I'm away much more than I would like, and the teaching bit is scary as hell…"

A shrill ring sounded from somewhere, interrupting the moment. "My phone," Max said apologetically before rising to her feet.

"Dude, its Saturday evening." Chloe grimaced. "Just let it slide."

Max mumbled something and left. She popped her head back in a moment later. "Sorry, guys, I really have to take this." Chloe furrowed her brow and sunk deeper into the sofa, staring into the distance.

"Hey…" Rachel put her hand over Chloe's. "Hey there, Chloe Price, she'll be back soon. Let's have some fun in the meantime? Let's dance!"

Chloe jumped up with a grin. "Right on, baby! Let's!"

Rachel went over to the old record player in the corner and started rummaging through the colorful vinyls stacked in cases beside it. "Is this William's old records?"

"Yes, mostly, there's a lot of old country crap, but some of them are quite nice actually, like…"

"Ooh, this is awesome. Wait…" Rachel put a record on the turntable and carefully dropped the needle. Piano and guitars began to play mellowly.

"Come here, let's dance." She snuggled into Chloe, wrapped her arms around her waist and put her head against Chloe's shoulder. As Dolly Parton began to sing "If I should stay, I would only be in your way", she started to dance slowly around. As Dolly belted out the chorus, Rachel dragged Chloe with her.

Chloe stiffened in protest. "Are you kidding me? Dude, seriously…"

"Shhhh, listen to the song, honey," Rachel said as she stroked Chloe's cheek. "It's like this song was written for us."

Chloe bent back down into Rachel's embrace. "Please, don't you dare fucking play with my heart," Chloe said mockingly. "Not like this, Rach" she continued, her voice breaking as she said her name.

"You know I will always love you."

"But you are not what I need, right?" said Chloe, her voice crumbling at the edges. "Shit, this is stupid." She carefully let out a long trembling breath.

"No, wait, I want you to know." Rachel said into Chloe's neck. "It might be stupid, but it's the truth. You totally made the right choice. You and I would never have worked out in the long run. I burn people up and leave them smoldering. It happens every time, girl. It's my curse."

"Maybe it's better to burn bright a short while than to slowly dwindle and die."

Chloe obviously meant it as a joke but it made Rachel feel a sting in her heart. Oh, my dear Chloe, she thought, there is clearly something that's not right here.

They continued to dance in silence until the song ended. Chloe let out a heavy sigh, cleared her throat, and tried a smile. "That was… fun. I could really use a smoke now. Join?"

"Sure." Rachel smiled as she wiped at the corners of her eyes. "But you do know it's a freakin snowstorm outside?"

"Oh, we'll cheat. Follow me."

Max had put the phone down a while ago but still sat in the darkness of their little office. She had to go back to Chicago tomorrow, but she didn't know how she could possibly tell Chloe. Chloe would be so disappointed, though she would hide it behind a smile and a dorky joke. Max absolutely hated it. It seemed like hurt and disappointment were her only contributions to their relationship lately. She pictured Chloe slipping away from her, day by day. The thought made her freak out inside. Max clasped her head in her hands and sighed in faint despair.

Rachel and Chloe had made it to their refuge, the veranda facing the sea, where four big windows rattled from the gusting winds. Chloe sat propped up against a broad window board, her legs nonchalantly ajar, looking out into the darkness. The soft ember of her cigarette intermittently lit up her thoughtful face.

"You know, Rach, this growing-up shit, I'm not sure it's really my thing."

From where she sat, on the sofa facing the windows, Rachel was reminded of the bench by the lighthouse in Arcadia Bay. Looking out over the coast and wide horizon of the ocean, though barely visible now in the moonless night, she thought of the countless times she and Chloe had sat at the lighthouse, in sun and rain, staring out at the world together. They done so often, like right now, with cigarettes in hand. She reached out and grasped Chloe's free hand with hers, like so many times before. "Things change, whether we are kids or adults. That's like the one true rule, right? Everything changes. We must learn to ride with it."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. But the last couple of months…it's like everything has spiralled out of control," Chloe said, and when she turned to look at her, Rachel could see the struggle and the true pain on her face.

"I feel this darkness inside, you know? It feels the same as when…after Dad…died. Something is sucking out the last drops of me and leaving this waxy shell filled with…like, black goo. Everything that's good drowns in that damn goo."

"This is about Max, right? I know you really love her." Rachel tilted her head with a concerned expression.

"Oh, I love her more than ever! My heart like explodes in a firework of flowers and confetti every time we meet, and yada yada."

Rachel arched a questioning eyebrow, so Chloe continued, placing her hands over her heart, "It's the truth. It really does! The question is more like, does she still love me? I don't know how I would handle it if she left me." Chloe's whole body sagged miserably. "What am I doing wrong, Rachel?" she asked in a small voice. "I don't know what to do."

"Oh, Chloe, Max won't leave you." Rachel hesitated, then reached out her arms to Chloe, who let out a long breath and stubbed out her cig in an empty flowerpot, then fell down beside her on the sofa, her face in Rachels shoulder. "Chloe, you two are meant to be, but you have to let her know what you are feeling. This is not the time to put on a brave face, darling. Talk to her." Rachel rubbed Chloe's back tenderly.

"I'm not good at talking, man!" Chloe said with a muffled voice in Rachels neck. "I mean, I'm a fucking pro when it comes to talking shit, but this is, this is totally different. I have no idea what will come out if I open my mouth. It scares me." Chloe sat up. "But I guess you are right, as usual. Where is that godforsaken little vixen anyway?"

Max was sitting cross-legged her bed, old Polaroid pictures spread across the bed around her. She stared at the endless series of selfies and portraits of friends hanging out together. Here and there she could see a landscape or an arbitrary close-up of something she had thought was cool or significant in some way. Most of the pictures were nothing special in her opinion, but some were really good. A lot of the pictures were of a blue-haired girl. Oh, Chloe, we were so young and innocent. At least I was innocent, and you weren't as experienced in the ways of the world as you may have thought. I guess that's one of life's biggest lessons, the more you know, the less you understand. Right now it feels like I don't understand anything, which must mean I'm very knowledgeable. Right…

Max leaned back on the bed with one of her favorite pictures of Chloe. It was from a road-trip they had taken in Chloe's old truck along Highway 101, by the Oregon coast, their first road trip together. The trip itself had been just fantastic—romantic, adventurous, and beautiful, and a foretaste of the freedom and independence they both had imagined adult life would bring. The picture encapsulated Max's experiences of their trip in one frame: Chloe, bare ass naked, with a cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth and a half empty beer bottle in hand, standing in mock seriousness in front of a weathered sign that read, "No minors allowed without life jackets! Dangerous undercurrents." On the horizon behind her were three big cargo ships on their way to faraway destinations. Max wasn't sure what it was about the picture that made her love it so much, but it was something about how Chloe gazed at her through the lens of the camera, provocative, droll, and innocent all at the same time. Looking at it made her recall the sights, smells, and emotions of that road trip with perfect recollection.

Damn, damn, damn, what am I doing? Am I fucking ruining this? Max thought. She rolled over on her tummy and buried her face in the bedspread.

"Hey there," Chloe said, suddenly leaning in the doorway with Rachel right behind her. "How's it going? Me and Rach kind of miss you, out there where, you know, the party is. Are you all right?"

"Oh, Chloe," Max said, "I'm the one who should ask you that. I think I have done something really stupid."

"Why? What did you do?" Chloe asked, looking worried.

"It's my work. It's killing me. I just can't balance it and our life."

"Easy, Max, we can work this out, no problem. I-I can quit my job at the institute. I'll come and live with you in Chicago. I can…"

"I don't want you to do that, Chloe. You love your work."

"What…what are you saying?" Chloe stared at Max with big eyes beginning to fill up with tears. "Max?"

"I'm saying you always put me first, Chloe, whatever we do. It's time someone put you first for a change. I am going to be an adult for once and quit. I am old enough to make my own decisions and choose you! To hell with Chicago!"

"But…"

Max got up from the bed and took Chloe's hands in her own. "No, Chloe, I know this is the right thing to do. I feel it in my bones! I belong with you, no exceptions. I've been such an unbearable idiot. I can't believe you've put up with me during this time." Tears began rolling down her cheeks. "And… and I do want to have a family with you. Of course I do! You will be the craziest, weirdest, funniest, most awesome parent in the world." Max fell into Chloe's arms. "Oh Chloe, Please forgive me."

Chloe laughed and scooped up the smaller woman, squeezing her until she shrieked in laughter. "Max Caulfield, I love you. Now and forever!"

"I love you, Chloe Price, now and forever," Max whispered in a husky voice, her eyes full of emotion.

Chloe and Max met in a passionate kiss that seemed to last for forever, but was in truth quickly interrupted by Rachel. "I love this!" she exclaimed in delight. "I love you both, you wonderful, beautiful goofs!" She threw her arms around the entwined couple, and they included her in their embrace. "Now," mused Rachel, "while there are no kids around, yet…let's party until dawn!"

As the storm passed and the morning sun tentatively spread its golden rays over the clearing skies, Rachel, Chloe, and Max sat on the veranda sofa, huddled close together under a big blanket to ward off the chill drinking, smoking, and talking. Chloe sat sandwiched between the two girls, her two girls, and for the first time in many months, she felt completely happy.

Suddenly, Rachel let out a big yawn and pointed at the sky. "Okay, that is most definitely the dawn. Mission accomplished." She grinned crookedly. "Tonight's emotional rollercoaster has drained even my legendary strength."

"Rach the first to go to bed at a party? That is unheard of!" laughed Chloe. At that moment, Max yawned too, and not even with great effort could Chloe suppress a yawn herself. "Okay, point taken. Time to hit the bunks."

While the others got ready for bed, Chloe stayed behind to collect the glasses and bottles on the veranda and carry them off to the kitchen. On her way back, she passed a photo of her, Joyce, and William from many years ago, the same photo Joyce had kept in her bedroom for so long. Hey, Dad, she thought, life is strange sometimes, isn't it? I'm going to have a family of my own, with Max! Bet you didn't see that coming, huh? Neither did I to be honest, but I'm lucky to have you as my lodestar in these uncharted waters we are entering now. I miss you, Dad.

"Chloe, are you coming to bed? I am cold and I miss you," Max called, breaking her thoughts.

"In a minute, honey, I'll just go and check on Rach first."

When Chloe peeked into the little guest room, Rachel was already asleep, bundled up under her blankets and snoring softly. A pale leg stuck out from under the covers. Chloe moved a blanket over it and turned to stroke Rachel's auburn mane tenderly. "You are a hell of a friend, my angel," she whispered as she bent down and kissed her on the cheek. Then she left the room silently, closing the door behind her.