Top Ten Theories
"Padfoot, you piece of crap, stop staring."
"Then spit out the truth and your dreams will come true."
James just glared at his best friend and went back to his Arithmancy homework, ignoring the beady eyes of Sirius Black who hadn't stopped hounding him since the rumors circulated that James Potter and Lily Evans had been caught snogging or shagging (who knew) in the Astronomy Tower yesterday evening during rounds. This was very curious rumor indeed considering the two weren't even officially or unofficially together.
Granted, no one actually knew what happened, but the next morning the entire school was awoken to the news that the Head Boy and Girl were both served two nights worth of detention from Professor McGonagall herself. Rumors spread like wildfire (like they did when it came to Potter and Evans) throughout campus as multiple bystanders claimed to have witnessed Potter, Evans and McGonagall head to Dumbledore's office late at night.
Quickly theories were spread and currently the top ten theories were:
1. They were caught mid-shag/snog/whatever you want to call it
2. Trapped Filch in a broom cupboard
3. Practicing illegal spells on the Slytherins
4. Lily was trying to murder James
5. They were trying to murder someone else – victim remained unknown aka murdered
6. They were burning school property
7. Flushed Mrs. Norris down Moaning Myrtle's bathroom
8. Attempting to escape school before the dreaded NEWTs
9. Egging Peeves on to cause chaos
10. It was all just rumors
Sirius usually minded his own business and tried never feeding into or believing the Hogwarts rumor mill but there was something very fishy about this entire situation. One, James refused to talk about what exactly happened; second, the rumors swirling had become so incredulous that Sirius was starting to consider where there's smoke there's fire. Because James, for all his Marauding and such, had become much less of a public troublemaker in the last few years and detention wasn't something a responsible Head Boy easily achieved these days. Oh sure, most of their friends shrugged it off claiming it was nothing but detention to the Head Boy and Girl from their Head of House was not nothing! It was most definitely something.
So Sirius Black was on top of it. Not that he cared a prat's rat ass about the rest of the school but he was sure now that James was hiding something. So he considered the top ten theories and easily concluded that theory number one (they were caught mid-shag/snog/whatever you want to call it) was the most obvious. Also, he knew for a fact that Prongs and Evans were indeed shagging or snogging or at least hiding something as a week into term he had woken to the sounds of giggles and a hushed voice coming from James' bed were the hangings were drawn, which the boys never did but James hadn't been thorough enough and at the very front he could see a touch of red hair. Sirius smirked and fell back asleep, not mentioning anything the next morning but a cheeky 'hello'. So it had been pretty easy to conclude the sneaky pair was off doing the deed on any flat surface they could find including the Astronomy Tower were privacy was abundant considering it was closed to all students when not in use. Case closed.
Now he just needed James to admit it.
"Wormtail," Sirius started. "Don't you think Prongs looks a bit cheeky today?"
Peter gave a slight snigger as he glanced over at James who was unrelentingly ignoring the two of them. "Looks the usual disheveled to me."
"Hmm," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair. "Well then, if you won't tell me what happened I'll just have to find out for myself."
"I did tell you what happened," James muttered. "You just won't listen."
"That the two of you got detention because you locked up Mrs. Norris in an empty classroom? Sorry, two nights worth of detention and a visit to Dumbledore doesn't seem to fit the crime. Anyways, Evans would never, she loves cats."
James grumbled into his parchment and Sirius raised his eyes. "What was that? Didn't hear ya quite well between the mumbling."
"I said," James growled, throwing his parchment at him. "Will you quit it?"
Feeling the tension vibrating from James, Peter cut the conversation in order to avoid destruction. They had been kicked out of the library one to many times and Peter needed the library time more then ever this year and was attempting to stay on Madame Pince's good side. "What's the detention anyways?"
"Scrubbing the dungeons."
Sirius cracked his knuckles and admired. "They always sent us there when they wanted to teach us a lesson."
"No, you idiot," James said kicking his chair so Sirius fell forward. "They sent us there when it needed cleaning."
Moody, Sirius thought. Very moody. "This detention with Evans then?"
As if on cue, the redhead walked into the library alone, scanning the room when she landed on their table. Sirius watched her walk over, her face becoming pinker, her twitch becoming more deliberate as she got closer, and James, immediately tensing up at the sight of her. Interesting, very interesting.
"Evans! We were just talking about you," Sirius said.
She nodded her head and looked at James who was avidly not looking at her. "James… can we talk?"
But James didn't answer and an awkward tension filled the open space, even making Sirius a bit uncomfortable.
"Now Prongs, she's asking you something, be polite," Sirius said sarcastically but they both ignored him.
"James, please," Lily whispered when he finally looked up and saw her red-rimmed eyes. Well, he grunted in his thoughts, he hoped she was crying.
"What do you want, Evans?"
She seemed to flinch at his tone and swallowed. "Can we talk?"
"Anything you have to say to me, you can say to my mates," he said testily and Sirius seemed to reconsider the idea that theory number one was the reason they got detention as Lily just deflated at his words.
"Alright then, so I'll uh just see you in detention?" she said dejectedly but James showed no sympathy.
He gave her a cold shrug, looking back at his paper as if he hadn't been obsessing over her for three years and continued writing as if she had never been there. When Lily walked away, Sirius looked at his friend as if he had grown a second head.
"Wormtail, knock on Prong's head there and see if anything is inside."
James knocked Peter's hand away and fiercely glared at his friend. "I said to quit it."
"Don't you think you were a bit harsh on her? She seemed pretty upset for two kids who were caught shagging," Sirius retorted.
James smacked his book shut at his question and shoved his notes angrily into his school bag. "I told you to quit it!"
He walked out of the library then without another word.
Sirius and Peter stared with lightly gaping mouths at their friend's temper tantrum.
"So what theory do we think now?"
"Something is going on between Evans and Prongs," Sirius said plopping between Marlene and Mary on the couch, later that night in the common room, and grabbing a piece of fudge they had left on the table.
"That we already know," Marlene said pushing Sirius' hands off her shoulders as he left crumbs along her lap. "But Lily has been acting dodgy all day."
"Prongs straight up through a hissy fit in the library right now."
"Well, we know their shagging…" Peter said. At one point or another, everyone had witnessed James and Lily's poor constructed hiding. The idea of them being together had been talked about so many times and now that they were finally together but not admitting it, the whole concept was becoming far-fetched.
"Yes, but that doesn't explain this whole gloom and dome scenario," Marlene countered.
"Well we know the theories… which one do we think it is?" Mary questioned, looking at their group of friends.
"Well we can cross off 'caught shagging', yeah? I feel like they wouldn't be so upsetwith one and other if that was the case," Marlene threw out.
Peter nodded. "Maybe Lily caught James dueling with the Slytherins? Theory number three? Got upset at him again?"
"Could be…" Mary said slowly.
"But then why would James be so upset?" Marlene disputed.
"Maybe because she ended up hexing him and getting mad at him instead of the Slytherins," Sirius offered completely unsure. This entire situation was becoming ridiculous.
"Listen," Marlene started. "All of this is guessing games, I reckon there is a much easier way of figuring it out."
"We could, you know, spy on them, in detention," Peter suggested.
They sat silently for an entire moment, looking at each other, before they all raced out to the portrait opening forgetting they had curfew, as if they cared.
"Shh!" Mary shushed, as they got closer. "They'll hear us."
They tiptoed as they got closer but any creaks or swishes they thought they heard were just imagination until they did hear a loud cough behind them. At once, Marlene, Sirius, Peter and Mary jumped and then sighed in relief at Remus who was on rounds but staring at them with raised, amused eyebrows.
"Moony, just in time, we are spying on Prongs and Evans… Unless you already know why they got detention?" Sirius said accusingly.
Remus rolled his eyes at his friends' antics. "Not a clue."
"You would think being a prefect we would get some inside information," Marlene said snidely.
"I can say that prefect meeting was interesting," Remus offered.
"How exactly was there a prefect meeting when the Head Boy and Girl are in detention?" Mary asked.
"That's what we were all thinking until Professor McGonagall came in and informed us she would be leading the meeting tonight, and then proceeded to take ten points from Ravenclaw when Humphreys asked what happened last night."
They continued down the hallway with Remus in tow. "So you noticed too Prongs acting funny today?"
Remus shrugged. "He's been acting funny since term started. You haven't noticed? One second he's down the next high."
Sirius considered what his friend said and tried to really think about it. In past five weeks since term started, James had been acting a bit strange… More aggressive in Quidditch practice and randomly disappearing (though he assumed that meant he was just off with Evans). His jealousy regarding her was at an ultimate high, and if Sirius hadn't already known about them, he would have surmised considering James had given Adam Cooper three nights worth of detention when he heard from Lily that he'd asked her to Hogsmeade one night after studying for Alchemy together. He justified it by saying Cooper had been wondering the halls after curfew, which no one bought (including McGonagall who'd retroactively dismissed the detention).
They arrived outside the dungeon doors, the Marauder Map telling them which classroom to find them in. They stared at each other before lowering themselves flat on the floor (like the creeps they were) and stuck their ears next to the opening of the door and performing a sound heightener charm.
"James, I'm sorry," was the first thing they heard.
"I'm not interested," James said coldly.
"I'm sorry, okay! I've said it a million times, what more do you want me to say?"
"How about just leaving me alone?"
"Please, James, you've never been this mad at me before and it's confusing."
"Good," he said shortly.
They didn't hear anything but a few creaks of movement and a mop dropping and then, "Evans, stop."
"So it's Evans now after everything?" Lily asked, her voice sounded so low that the group felt bad for her.
"Yes."
"C'mon, James. It was… a shock reaction."
"A shock reaction?" James barked. It became silent for a brief moment and they pressed their ears harder to the opening when they heard, "You know what, Lily? I'm done. I'm done with you and I'm done with this."
A second later, the door swung open and all five friends looked up guiltily at James's furious expression and Lily crying. They got up, wiping their clothes, trying to act casual as if it was normal to be caught so obviously eavesdropping (which in some ways it was for this group of friends).
"Sorry about that mate but-" Sirius began but James didn't wait for an explanation and stormed down the corridor. "You can't just leave detention like that!" Sirius yelled after him but James ignored him.
With the absence of James, all eyes turned to Lily's puffy eyes.
"Lily," Mary said going over to her and giving her a hug. "Why are you crying?"
But all Lily did was cry. Now, the thing about Lily Evans was that she was hardheaded, stubborn, infallible. She did not cry. And Sirius watched as tears flowed freely down her face becoming more and more dumbfounded and knowing he wasn't the only one. What was going on? None of it was making any sense. Obviously, something big had been kept from them.
"Lils," Marlene said softly, stroking her hair and looking at Sirius muddled. What the fuck, she mouthed and Sirius shrugged just as befuddled.
"Miss Evans, I seemed too have found-" Professor McGonagall started and then stopped at seeing triple the amount of people she had expected. She stood in the doorway with James besides her, his hands in his pockets looking down moodily. "Is there a reason the five of you seemed to have wondered into this room at this hour?"
"Just to have a jolly chat with our Head Boy and Girl and figure out what exactly happened last night to spark such an outcry," Sirius filled in.
"Out," she said with her hand pointing to the door. "Or do you also want detention?"
Sheepishly, they shuffled out and the door snapped shut behind them. They stood looking at each other (again) moving from side to side hesitantly before all at once collapsing to the floor (they were weak, and what were they suppose to do? They had a mission to accomplish).
"Now, I realize the two of you are cross with one and other but that is no excuse to abandon your detention in the middle," McGonagall's voice wafted.
"For the first time, Professor, I don't deserve this detention," James said.
"What?" rang Lily's voice. "You were there too!"
They didn't hear anything until: "ARE YOU THICK IN THE HEAD, EVANS?"
"That's enough, Potter!" McGonagall said. All they heard was deep breathing then a mop being picked up. "Now get back to work and if I find you leaving detention in the middle again I'll double it."
James grunted.
A moment passed and then: "As Professor Dumbledore said yesterday, it seems a pity to fight emotions when they are so apparent and time is being wasted."
"Yeah, tell that to Evans," James mumbled.
"James, I'm sorry!"
"Yeah, well sorry isn't good enough this time. Wait, Professor," James called out and the group on the floor realized McGonagall was near the exit and looked at each other skittishly if to abandon their spot.
"Yes, Potter?"
"I realize I have detention with Evans, but can I not have detention with Evans tomorrow?"
Their was gapping silence and then, "If you wish, Mr. Potter."
The group looked at each as they heard McGonagall open the door and sprinted with all their might back to Gryffindor Tower.
As they reached the portrait huffing, wheezing and barely alive, holding their sides for cramps and stiches, Mary somehow was able to utter the password and they tumbled into the common room.
"Wh-What the bloody hell is all this about? Wh-what happened last night?"
But only five blank and puzzled stares looked back at each other.
"We-we need to go over the th-theories again," Peter panted. "What's the top one?"
The next morning, when Lily came into the Great Hall for breakfast and saw all her friends eating plus a James Potter, the group facing the entranceway immediately spotted how Lily halted, stared at the back of James's head, turned around, stopped, turned back around, looked determined, started marching towards them before stopping altogether and leaving the Great Hall.
"I better bring her some toast," Marlene said to a Sirius who was staring at the developments with his mouth open.
"Toast, to who?" James said as he turned around to stare, his own mouth filled with food.
"Who else would come in here and leave at the sight of you? Now Prongs, you want to tell us which of the top ten theories is real considering we spent the better part of last night reviewing them instead of our homework?" Sirius provided.
James glared at his friend and flicked his sausage at Sirius's face but he flicked it away. "You lot are garbage friends."
"We personally believe it's theory number three with a few abbreviations though you and Lily keep insisting it's theory number seven," Marlene interjected.
"Are you lot talking about the theories?" Gryffindor sixth year Warner Walker asked as he slid onto the empty seat besides James.
"Yup," Mary said. "We think it is theory number three."
"I've got one galleon going that it's theory number eight," Walker said confidently.
James turned to glare at him. "Watch it, Walker or I'll put you detention for harassing the Head Boy."
"Calm your horses but I'm not the only one. Hornby bet me double or nothing that it's theory number six and King upped the anti by claiming it's theory number eight. At least we don't think you lot are dumb enough to get caught shagging, which is most of the school. Almost two hundred galleons just on theory number one."
"We aren't shagging," James muttered under his breath at the same time Peter exclaimed. "Two hundred galleons, how do I get in on this?"
Walker chortled as he got up and looked at Peter. "Talk to Peck in Hufflepuff, he's got all the tallies updated hourly. See you lot later."
"Why can't people mind their own business?" James snarled as he watched Walker stroll away chummily.
Not amused, Sirius leaned in. "Come off it, James, what happened?"
"There's nothing to talk about."
Sirius groaned in frustration and slammed his hands on the table. "Do you think we are idiots?"
Remus stepped in then. "All we are trying to say is that obviously something is happening, and we just want to be there for you two."
James huffed and then stood. "I have Quidditch practice because their is a game tomorrow and everyone seems to be forgetting I'm captain."
"I didn't forget!" Peter said but they all ignored him.
"But from the events of a few nights ago, we know you're Head Boy considering he got caught with the Head Girl… shagging?" Marlene tempted.
"For fucks sake, me and Lily were not caught shagging! And we didn't get into any duels with the Slytherins and no, we didn't lock Mrs. Norris in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom if that's what you lot want to know so badly!" James all but yelled at his friends. James's voice though was loud enough to be carried down the Gryffindor table were people started stare.
"Aha!" Sirius jumped up onto the bench and pointed at James. "I knew you were lying about Mrs. Norris."
Remus pulled Sirius down and looked at James gently. "Fine, so what exactly did happen?"
The group of eyes stared at James and James groaned and looked at the top of the cloudless ceiling. "Ask Lily, alright? She's the one with all the secrets to keep."
With that he turned away and headed to the field, the rest of his Quidditch team unsure if to follow their irritated captain but did so, but followed a few steps behind.
"We should go study…" Mary said slowly.
"Or," Sirius offered. "We go find Evans?"
They stood abruptly and made their way to Gryffindor Tower, charging against the traffic as they passed through the throngs of people bustling on their way to their weekend activities.
"Now that we know it's not the Slytherins, what do you think happened?" Peter said as the portrait hole was within sight.
But none of them had any answers as their second top theory was crossed out. "Maybe they really were trying to sneak out of school?"
But even as the theory was offered none of it made sense. Why would James be so angry with Lily? The last few months, James and Lily could barely hide their uninhibited attraction to each other. Flirting dangerously in classes, always scheduling rounds together, laughing at each other's jokes even when they weren't funny… What could possibly have gone wrong?
They entered into the pretty empty common room to find Lily sitting near the fireplace. At first, they didn't hear it but as they moved closer they heard the cries, then the sobs and finally saw the tears. Lily Evans was crying hysterically. Marlene rushed to her.
"What the bloody fuck is going on?" Sirius yelped as Mary shoved past him and embraced her friend.
Lily jumped at the unexpected guests and tried wiping her tears but more fell in replacement. "Nothing, I just don't-"
"Bullocks and you know it," Sirius said, taking a seat on the coffee table across from her and the others followed. "Now, what happened?"
Lily was silent and stared at the floor and gulped for air between her deep breaths she couldn't seem to take because of her sobbing. She exhaled slowly and then looked at her friends. "Me and James have been… together." She expected at least a gasp of surprise but looked at five different blank faces that didn't seem to be all too shocked.
"Sorry to break it to you, love," Marlene said. "But you two weren't very good at hiding."
"I mean besides the fact the two of you have been flirting relentlessly and you let him touch you all the time without hexing or yelling at him anymore, I caught the two of you at the lake a few weeks ago," Mary said shrugging.
"At least the lake is partially hidden, I saw them in the empty classroom near the prefect's lounge," Remus laughed at a Lily who was growing increasingly redder.
"I got you all beat," said Peter with a knowing smile. "In James's bed in broad daylight ditching Potions, hangings ups and everything."
"You- you knew? You all knew?" Lily said horrified. "Why didn't any of you say anything?"
"Didn't seem like our place," Remus said kindly. "Figured you would come clean when you felt comfortable enough."
"But honestly, it's almost as if you two weren't even trying to hide," Sirius said smartly as he rose from his seat and looked down at Lily. "So… want to tell us what happened two nights ago that you're in tears and James is stomping around?"
Lily swallowed and shook her head. "Not really."
"Not really giving you an option," Sirius said flatly.
Lily looked down and then up again and then down again and more tears filled her eyes. "James, he uh, well… James never wanted to keep it a secret."
"Surprise there," Sirius chirped.
Lily glared at him. "Listen, I just wasn't ready. Everything was happening so quickly and I couldn't keep up. I mean," Lily said waving her fingers through each other anxiously as if she had thought this over a million and ten times, which she probably had. "One day I was hexing him and the next he was responsible and kind and he helped that cute Hufflepuff in First Year when he tripped on the trick staircase and lost all his books."
"Wait!" Marlene said jumping up, standing next to Sirius and glaring down at her friend. "That was last year! James helped that kid last year and don't even try to convince me different because I remember those mooneyes you had after! HOW LONG HAVE THE TWO OF YOU BEEN SNOGGING?"
Lily swallowed and shrugged guilty. "Around about nine months… since my birthday."
This was the reaction Lily had expected as their mouths fell open gobsmacked. "Nine months?" Mary repeated. "But, but how?!"
"Why?" Sirius said. "I get what you said at first with the fast and the hexing but it's been nine bloody months, obviously not so fast anymore."
"And nine months isn't exactly snogging," Marlene butt in, continuing her glaring at her friend and not caring at how further dejected she looked. "You lot are in a full throttle relationship is what you two are in! Call it what you want."
"Lily," Remus said gently and touched her shoulder kindly, trying a different approach from his friends harsh one. "Why the secrecy?"
Fresh tears fell down her face and Lily looked up at the group agonizingly. "At first, it was just confusing! You have to understand, he was Potter but then suddenly he was James and he was so, so compassionate and reliable, and I just couldn't understand how I didn't see it before. And then I liked snogging him but I couldn't figure out if I liked him but then I did like him, a lot. And it was just confusing so I asked him to keep it between us so I could figure it out and then the summer came and then term started…"
"And nine months later?"
Tears streamed freely down her face and she wasn't even trying to hide it as their friends realized they weren't just dealing with a couple of sneaky students hiding their snogging. This was a real couple, a nine-month anniversary kind of couple…
"Well, James didn't want to hide it anymore," Lily explained.
"I can't imagine why," Sirius intervened but Lily ignored him.
"He's always been so honest and… even though he didn't want to keep it a secret he did for me."
Mary stroked her friend's hair and considered. "So what happened?"
"He uh," Lily hiccupped and looked at her friends. "The second term started, he just kept badgering me on and on and I couldn't take it anymore, you guys know how he can be…"
"Listen, at nine months I would be too," Sirius muttered under his breath but Remus shushed him.
"So when we went for rounds, we were circling the Astronomy Tower and he just, he just kept hounding me…"
"Lily, c'mon! There's nothing stopping us, let's just be together."
"We are together, now shut it!"
"I can't keep it a secret anymore, and I'm pretty sure all our friends know anyways."
Lily twisted around and glared at him. "What? Did you tell them?"
Her animosity startled him. "Of course not… I just… Lily, I want to be with you and I want to share that with everyone. I'm tired of all this hiding, all right? I can't do it anymore."
"So what are you saying?" Lily said sternly, looking anywhere but him. "You don't want to be with me anymore?"
James gaped at her and took a step forward, pulling her into his arms. "Are you mad? I'm saying the exact opposite! I want more then anything to be with you and for everyone to know!"
Lily pulled away and looked to her side as she crossed her arms. "I'm just not ready… I…"
"Is it me?" James finally asked earnestly, desperately. "Do you just not love me enough?"
Lily's eyes widened and she shook her head adamantly as she crossed over to him and touched his cheeks. "No, James, of course not. You know I love you."
"Then what's the problem? I love you, you love me and there's absolutely nothing to hide!"
"James-"
"No! I'm sick of hiding. I'm going to tell everyone tonight."
"No, you are not!" Lily said panicked as she pulled at his shoulder. "Just stop it."
"Or what?"
Lily looked at James and he looked at her just as ardently because they had reached a crossroads. The situation had become impossible for him.
"I can't do this anymore. I don't want too."
Tears formed in Lily's eyes but James didn't rush to brush them away. "What are you saying?"
"I'm saying," James said sincerely. "That I want to shout it from the rooftops that we are together."
With that James jumped onto the ledge of the Astronomy Tower and looked down at Lily who was looking at him horrified.
"James, get down from there!"
James cupped his hands instead and yelled, "I LOVE LILY!"
Lily pulled at his pant leg but he stepped away from her. "James, stop it!"
"Or what?" he mocked and yelled into the open sky again. "I LOVE LILY AND SHE LOVES ME BACK!"
"Stop," she hissed, trying to pull him down.
"ME AND LILY ARE IN A RELATIONSHHH-"
"And then I pushed him," she concluded.
The group was silent as they stared stunned, their words lost as they tried to formulate complete sentences.
"You pushed James off the Astronomy Tower?" Sirius yelped. "How did he survive?"
Lily swallowed and huffed loudly. "It was an accident! I didn't mean to do it obviously! He was just being so frustrating, standing up there declaring those things."
"Must be hard having someone love you so much that he stood on the Astronomy Tower and yelled it," Marlene shot at her.
"But how did he survive?" Remus repeated wide-eyed, staring at Lily in a totally new light.
"Well, McGonagall must of heard all the shouting because she uh happened to, well see me push James and right away Levitated his body to the fifth floor balcony, and James cast his own cushioning charm so that when he landed it wasn't that bad."
The group just outright gaped at her, unsure how to proceed. "This is mad," Remus finally said. "Lily, have you lost your mind?"
Lily jumped up in frenzy and looked around at them. "Listen, it wasn't the right reaction but I didn't know what to do! Obviously, I shouldn't have pushed him but he just wouldn't shut up! And I regret it and it was an accident clearly but if James knew anything about me then he would know that was definitely not the way to get me to agree!"
But the astonished faces didn't fade as Lily made her way to her room.
"This is mad," Mary concluded.
"I was not expecting that…" Peter agreed as they looked around at each other.
"I don't even know how to move forward," Marlene added.
"Right well, you two talk to Evans, and… we'll talk to Prongs," Sirius said, scratching the back of his head. "But I have to say… if I were him… I mean, she pushed him from the Astronomy Tower."
They sat silently before they heard a light snigger and looked over at Peter who shrugged. "It's a bit funny, I mean imagine his face."
Mary rolled her eyes but Marlene couldn't help cracking a smile and Sirius outright busted out laughing. Soon they were all laughing, even Remus, at the absurdity of the entire situation.
"Evans pushed Prongs off the Astronomy Tower," Sirius repeated, now with tears in his eyes. "Imagine what they'll tell their children."
"What are you lot laughing at?" James grumped, climbing through the portrait hole and towards his friends. He seemed to scan the group and sighed in relief when he realized Lily wasn't there, which honestly just made the entire group sad. It used to be the opposite. He slumped onto the vaccinated spot on the couch left by Lily and looked into the fire, brooding.
"We just had an interesting chat with Evans," Sirius started and with that the two girls bid their farewells and went to meet Lily in the girls dormitory.
"Yeah," James said, picking at a string on his Quidditch robes. "What she'd have to say?"
"Only that two of you have been shagging for oh say nine months?" Sirius supplied.
James's head snapped back to his best friends, his mouth hanging opening. "She told you? She actually said it out loud?"
"Sat just where you were now," Sirius nodding in false seriousness.
"She, she told you guys everything?" James asked slowly as the idea that his friends finally knew this deep, dark secret relaxed an unknown tension that had been high strung within him and out came a dazzling smile.
His three friends couldn't help but grin at his reaction as Peter clapped a hand on his back. "I'm assuming a congrats is in order?"
James started to say something but he seemed to fall back into himself. "It doesn't matter."
His friends glanced at one and other before huddling around their obviously depressed friend. "After all these years of pining, you finally get Evans and you're going to let one little push-"
"She shoved me off the Astronomy Tower."
"A setback," Peter offered but James continued to glower.
"Listen, we were down here talking to her and she seemed pretty remorseful-" Remus started but James waved him off.
"She's upset?" James said dryly. "Do realize that she would rather push me off the Astronomy Tower then even admit publicly that we are together?"
They couldn't fight with that logic so they remained silent, eventually James slumping in his seat. "It's been torture is what it's been. All I want is to be with her! And she… would rather accidently kill me then be with me! It's like what is there even to be ashamed of?"
"James," Sirius started slowly, patting his friend on the back. "It's Lily, she's always been like that. Thinking too much, worried too much. It's because she cares too much. And she doesn't want to get hurt, again."
James shrugged despondently, knowing all this but it had become enough and that much was obvious to everyone. How much was he expected to take? He loved her. He wanted to be with her and he was done hiding it. And, he was never going to hurt if he could help it. All he wanted to do was make her happy. He told his friends as much.
"Like I said," James said getting up. "It doesn't matter anymore. The ball is in her pitch. And if she wants me, she knows were to find me."
"And if she doesn't?"
The sorrow that filled his eyes made his friend instantly regret asking anything at all and James just shook his head as he slouched to his dormitory, the very notion that he had already lost Lily much to close to his reality.
"Lily," Mary asked kindly as she entered into the room to see Lily spooned on her bed, holding onto her extra pillow.
"Yeah?" she asked despondently.
The two girls looked at each other before surrounding her bed and sitting besides her. "Just checking in."
They remained quiet as Marlene stroked her friend's hair and Mary her arm. Silent tears fell down Lily's cheeks as she sniffled. "He's never going to speak to me again, is he?"
"C'mon, Lils," Marlene said, trying to lower the sadness overwhelming the room. "He's been obsessed with you for years, I doubt he's just going to let go."
"It's different this time."
The girls looked at each other because they couldn't deny the fact that pushing James off the Astronomy Tower was a bit radical.
"Lils," Mary asked gently. "But what's stopping you? Everyone already knows…"
Lily gulped and sat up, leaning against her headboard. "It's all so confusing. I love him but I'm scared. What if he wakes up and realizes all of me isn't worth… well, the effort?"
"Lily," Marlene groaned. "He's been asking you out since fifth year! Been crushing on you since forth and you've been together since sixth! He's kept it a literal secret for nine months. What makes you possibly think he wouldn't want you?"
"And if doesn't… well, Lily, you are strong and capable, and it will be alright. Eventually it always is," Mary said calmly.
Lily sighed. "You're probably right, but James is… furious. He won't even look at me. I tried talking to him during our detention but he just ignored me. He's never been this angry with me before. I don't really know how to take it, honestly."
"James just has a bruised ego right now," Marlene said. "I mean, you did push him off the Astronomy Tower."
"It was an accident."
"Still happened."
"He's never going to forgive me," Lily sighed, slumping back onto her pillow.
"He will, he just needs… some time," Mary said. "But Lily… I think you need to decide if you truly want to be with him."
"Of course I do!" Lily said appalled at the question.
"Right, well you need to start acting like it, by telling people," Marlene said, butting in. "I mean it's been nine bloody months, I'm surprised James didn't push you off the bloody Tower."
"I told you lot," Lily motioned.
The two girls looked at Lily sympathetically and gave her grim smiles. "I don't think it's enough honestly."
Lily glared at her ceiling at the un-satisfaction of it all. "What am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know," Marlene said, at last moving to her own bed. "Think what James would do."
It was the next day, morning of the first Gryffindor Quidditch match of the season versus Ravenclaw. The girls had shuffled into the room, forcing Lily down the stairs in her House colors, to eat breakfast.
"He doesn't want to see me," she had insisted to their denials though Marlene wasn't quite sure after her brief conversation with Sirius last night.
"He's pretty upset," Sirius explained as they pulled on their own clothes after a brief shagging section in a broom cupboard. "I'm pretty sure I heard him crying into his pillow earlier. I don't think Evans is getting away with it that easily to tell you the truth."
They sat at the table and Lily didn't even try not to stare at James and the multiple girls surrounding him. She mashed at her food and pouted into her morning tea.
"Lily," Mary said softly but she shrugged her off as the rest of the Marauders sauntered into the room and took a seat by them.
"Good morning, lovely ladies," Sirius said as he took a bit of toast and started pouring scrambled eggs onto his plate.
"Morning," Lily mumbled as she took another glance at James.
"Uh," Sirius laughed into his food. "Unrequited love?"
She ignored him but Sirius wasn't one for being ignored and called down the table. "Oi, Prongs! I think someone has something to say to you this morning."
James looked over at his best friend, saw his whatever sitting next to him and got up. "Yeah, what's that?"
Lily became tongue tied as James stalked over and stood over their friends as he looked down at Lily expectantly. "I uh… I just wanted to wish you luck."
James crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows. "That it?"
Lily bit her lip and looked up at him desperately. "What more do you want me to say?"
But that seemed to make James angrier and he just stomped away and Lily looked after him mutely. She got up then and chased after him, grabbing his hand near the side of the entranceway, their friends moving closer to the end of the table trying to hear the hushed argument.
"James, I told you I'm sorry, what else can I do?"
"It's not that simple anymore."
"James…"
"You pushed me off the Astronomy Tower!"
He said it loud enough that a few prying eyes looked over curiously. Lily blushed under his intense gaze, glaring at him to be quiet while trying to ignore McGonagall's piercing look. "Please be quiet. And I'm sorry! I obviously didn't mean it, you know that."
"Come off it, Evans," and Lily flinched at the use of her surname. "You would rather push me off the Astronomy Tower then be with me. I mean look at us now!" Motioning his hands around the Great Hall because even though they were making a commotion, their voices were so hushed no one could clearly hear what was being said. "It's still a bloody secret."
"I told our friends," she said grabbing his shoulder as he turned to walk away.
He looked over and shrugged her off. "Under duress and it's not enough."
"What am I supposed to do? Shout it for everyone to hear?" she demanded.
James turned around and lifted his chin. "Yeah, do that."
Lily crossed her arms in defiance. "I'm not like that and I'm still… I'm…"
But James punctured at her words and looked away from his source of distress. "Right, I reckon I'm going to go."
"So that's it?" Lily asked franticly. "You'd rather just break up, just like that? Just because I'm not ready to, to tell anyone!"
"I'd rather just be with you, Lily," he said brokenly. "It's up to you, it always been. I'm just asking you to meet me halfway."
"James," Lily croaked. "I'm just not… I don't…"
Bu he completely deflated at her indecisiveness and at his Quidditch team came hurrying up and surrounded him completely. James took one last look at her.
"See you around, Evans," he said miserably as people tried to get him away from her and Lily was left standing there, heart sinking further and further down her chest.
Their friends came to a stoic Lily and hugged her. "Let's go to the pitch, yeah?" Mary offered, taking Lily by the shoulders and leading her out.
"I think we just broke up," Lily muttered wretchedly.
Their friends looked between them, unsure of what to do, again. How was it that two people who were so supposed to be with one and other just couldn't get it together? It was straight up mystifying.
They found seats near the announcer box, a bit removed from everyone else because even though no one explicitly heard the contents of their talk in the Great Hall, the scene only opened further speculation on what exactly the Head Boy and Girl did to receive detention.
Lily looked on sadly as Madame Houch called out the members of each Quidditch team and they zoomed into the air.
"And off the teams go," Jaxson Grant roared into the enchanted microphone. "Now, Ravenclaw has a steady defense this year considering…"
The voices faded far away as Lily watched James catch a Quaffle, weaving through the players. A Bludger suddenly hit him in the back and Lily silently cried out as she watched James lean forward, dropping the Quaffle in the process.
"Woah!" Peter said to no one in particular. "James never gets hit! FOUL!"
But the roars of the Gryffindor were ignored as the gamed picked up and Lily watched dully as James tried scoring and missed, holding the Quaffle dropping it or just getting hit by Bludgers randomly even when they weren't headed towards him.
"He's off his game," Peter said, and the boys looked at each other and then at Lily.
"Wonder why?" Sirius said pointedly but Lily didn't even have a response.
But when Lily watched as a Bludger almost knocked James off his broom, his face completely desolate instead of frustrated, and her heart lurched from her chest. What exactly was stopping her? What was she so scared off? James loved her. She loved him. And for heaven's sake, their friends already knew. They had known for months! Who cared?
Lily took one frantic glance at her friends as she jumped up and leaned over the rail.
"James!" she called out but he obviously didn't hear. "JAMES! JAMES!"
Even if he heard her shouts through the wind and roar of the crowd, he ignored them and zoomed right past her without even looking.
Lily huffed in frustration and looked at her friends who were looking at her with matching confused stares.
"And Potter drops the Quaffle again! Wonder what's gotten into him," Grant commented and Lily looked up at the announcer room with sudden inspiration. Her friends watched confounded as she leaped from her seat and raced towards the stairs leading to the room. With widen eyes they watched as Lily opened the door, as Grant was mid-sentence.
"And Marlowe blocks the Qua- what the hell, Evans? What are you doing in here?" Grant bellowed into the microphone as Lily burst into his room and the entire stadium stopped to look over at the announcer booth and both Grant and Lily felt the eyes of everyone, including non-moving Quidditch teams who remained motionless on their brooms. Lily especially noticed the lightly gaping mouth of James Potter.
She ignored Grant as she shoved past him and took the microphone into her own hands.
"Potter," she said breathlessly into the microphone, staring unwaveringly at him. James, for his part, was staring back at her unsure, confused and hopeful, and she wanted to take away any doubt he was experiencing. "I love you."
Everyone gasped as she swallowed the words as she only had eyes for James who just gawked at her.
"I'm sorry I pushed you off the Astronomy Tower," she said to more gasps. She saw McGonagall start to move and realized she was running on limited time and rushed through. "But it was only because I was scared by how much I love you. And if I'm being honest, I've loved you since fifth year; I just didn't know it then. Well, maybe I didn't love you but I definitely fancied you even though I tried desperately to hide it hoping those feelings would just, you know, poof… but they never did. I love you James Potter, I always have and I'm so sorry if you ever doubted me for one second of one day. Because I think about you all the time and think 'Wow, James would find that funny' or 'Wouldn't that be nice to do with James'. I'm sorry I kept us a secret but I don't care anymore, I just want to be with you, that's all I want. So please forgive me. Please.
"Anyways, that's all I wanted to say."
As her babble died into nothingness, the entire stadium was silent and Lily's heart was pounding into the depth of her eyes like razor sharp rocks against her chest, her eyes never leaving James, whose were round as saucers.
She felt a total loss as the adrenaline that pushed her forward faded and she was left with an entirely too silent of a stadium. No one seemed to move or make a sound but stare at Lily agape as she handed the microphone back to seemingly stupefied Grant. Lily looked back over at James who was staring, and felt her pulse speed up, as his eyes flamed looking over her.
She heard the door open and was surprised to see McGonagall with a sympathetic hand on her shoulder as she finally turned away from James, trying to ignore the severe disappointment spreading throughout her burning body. She faced her professor, red with embarrassment because Lily Evans did not do things like that especially considering James just stared at her as if she cut off her own limb instead of publically declaring her love, she thought vehemently. She had done just as he wanted!
"Evans, why don't you come with me?"
But in that moment the door was slammed open for the third time and James sprinted through it, his broomstick rolling down the stairs abandoned, and Lily didn't think or consider and just leapt into his arms, bursting into tears and kissing him without thought as she wrapped her legs around his waist as he swept her against his own body.
And he smothered her with kisses on her cheeks and neck and ears as she held onto him for dear life because he was her life and she never wanted to let go. Lily was crying then and even James wiped his eyes on her hair as he proclaimed his love in return and she said it back because finally for James it was real and alive for everyone to see. And the roar of the stadium filled both their ears as the entire school exploded into thunderous cheers, and James distinctly heard Sirius whopping and Marlene yelling crudely and a laughing Remus. But James kissed Lily again because it was Lily and she was finally in his arms and she wasn't hiding them anymore.
"Is this real?" he asked dazed
She gives him a weepy but happy smile. "Yup, and now you're stuck with me."
"Good," he murmured and pulled her back for another kiss.
"I love you," she said and James grinned with the absolute knowledge that only this morning they had hidden their hushed argument and now the entire school heard their make-up. It was a Marauder dream come true.
"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that," James said as he kissed her nose.
"Don't get used to this," Lily murmured as a blush formed her face and she finally looked out to the crowd who was blatantly staring and gossiping and cheering but James only had eyes for her.
"I love you, Lily."
Lily smiled back and was about to respond but McGonagall tapped them on the shoulder. Even through her no nonsense, stern face, they both could see her obvious affection. "Detention."
"C'mon, Professor! I don't deserve this detention either!" James guiled but he released Lily, setting her down on her feet steadily without releasing his wrapped arms around her.
Lily smacked him but she couldn't have looked happier as she gazed at him.
"Why don't you finish this match?" she said with raised eyebrows.
"Oh yeah, that thing," James said with an easy smirk as McGonagall ushered them out of the room and James was handed his broomstick by an amused Remus. "Off to be the hero," he said jumping onto his broom, kissing Lily once more before winking to the crowd and zoomed back onto the pitch to numerous cheers.
Lily blushed deeply as she went back to sit with her friends, grinning uncontrollably as Marlene hugged her and Sirius pulled her around the neck. "Wasn't so hard, was it?"
Lily shrugged haplessly as the Quidditch figures started moving around once again.
"Alright," Grant drawled. "Now that we've established that Evans loves Potter, we can get back to the match. Though I gotta point out, interesting that theory number four, Lily murdering James, was the reason they got their original detention in the first place."
The crowd laughed hysterically and James lifted his arm in mock strength and Lily shook her head at her very public boyfriend. What a showoff but then again, so was she apparently.
"So Wormtail, how much money did we win?" Sirius said and Lily looked at him astounded.
"You bet on us?"
"What? You two were good money, theory number four and all. Thanks for the tip."
The End