A/N: This ficlet is extremely AU, and inspired by the song "A Little Fall of Rain" from Les Misérables. Rated T for graphic descriptions and a subtle reference.
Qui-Gon stumbled, exhausted, across the rubble- and body-strewn field, the ground a sickly, unnatural red-brown. He forced himself to look away from the cold emptiness that filled the eyes of the dead, forced himself to ignore the wails of those left alive, forced himself to keep moving, searching, searching for the one person he wanted and needed alive more than any other.
Tahl.
His unwilling feet carried him to the heart of the battle, where there was not even the slightest movement, no cries of pain, not even the sigh of a last breath, because that was where she had been last, going to protect two Padawans. She'd left him, left him where he was, fighting, and he could not follow. She'd called to him, over her shoulder, that she'd come back, that she'd be fine, that he should concentrate on fighting.
don't you fret
And then he almost fell on top of her as his legs finally gave out, and knelt at her side, eyes pain-filled at the sight of the blood that ran freely over her chest and down her arm. She turned her head slowly to face him, her eyes calm and accepting.
i don't feel any pain
Thunder rumbled ominously, and the skies opened up, as though Nature wished to cleanse herself of the mess her children had made. He shook off his cloak, wrapping her tightly and pulling her closer to block the stinging drops that drove into his back.
a little fall of rain
can hardly hurt me now
"How touching."
Qui-Gon knew that voice, that cold voice of burning rage and pain and hate. He met Xanatos' pride-filled eyes with his empty own.
"I planned to kill you originally, you know."
Tahl shifted restlessly, and he instinctively moved until he knelt between her and Xanatos, as though he could protect her.
"But I thought it would hurt you more if I killed her. Slowly. So that you could watch, and know that you were to blame."
All Qui-Gon could think was nononononono and that if he had been here, if he had followed, this wouldn't have happened. He didn't deserve to be here now. Tahl needed medics, a Healer, anything.
you're here
that's all i need to know
"So I would have killed you too, oh former Master of mine, but for one thing."
How interesting, the circular scar on his cheek. How ironically, horribly appropriate. He had killed Xanatos' father, Xanatos killed his love. Circle, circle, circle.
"It hurts you more to watch her die. Death would be painless for you, no matter how long I make it last. So you will watch her die, unable to do anything. And you cannot kill me. You are too weak, too tired. I could dishonor her in front of you and you would be unable to do anything."
and you will keep me safe
and you will keep me close
"The grief will drive you mad, more than likely. If I'm lucky, it will kill you."
Qui-Gon bowed his head as Xanatos left, his tears mixing with the rain and blood that flowed over Tahl's chest.
"He…is wrong." Tahl managed. "I…feel…no pain."
Qui-Gon let out an anguished cry and held her, feeling as though the wound in her heart was in his own, burning, burning, leaving cold dead ashes in its wake.
"And death…always comes…from life, Qui-Gon."
"You always were too good for me." he whispered. "You always could see the good in everything."
"Even in…this." she breathed. "The rain…"
and rain
will make the flowers grow
"Let me go…leave me…and…save one who…may yet live."
Qui-Gon bent and kissed her brow, rocking back and forth in his pain, and whispered the one thing he'd never said, what he should have always said, the one thing he was forbidden to say to anyone.
"I love you."
He heard something, as her last breath left, a broken echo that twisted his heart as the pain left her body and she left him.