Disclaimer: Anything said by James in this story is from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. We decided to keep his dialogue the same as it is in the book so that our story serves as our guess as to what happened when Alice and Jasper watched the recording James made in the ballet studio. Twilight is told from Bella's point of view and we were curious as to what might have happened when Alice found out about her past. Enjoy!
Alice was grateful to be checked back into a hotel. Sweeping into the room, she sniffed her jacket and her nose crinkled. The smell of the fire and the sickly sweet scent of charred vampire clung to her clothes. She couldn't wait to toss them in the trash can and treat herself to a much overdue shower. She, Jasper and Emmett had been at what was left of the ballet studio for hours, weaving their way around reporters and fire crews to make sure that every last bit of the evidence was manipulated and altered to support a random, but untraceable, act of arson.
Edward and Carlisle were at the hospital seeing to Bella. Alice had wanted to go there directly but Carlisle had already provided an alibi to Bella's parents. Supposedly he and Edward had come to Phoenix to convince Bella to return to Forks and she had tripped at their hotel, falling down a couple flights of stairs. No mention of her, Jasper or Emmett had been made and so she and Jasper were lying low in a hotel close to the hospital, less than a block away.
Emmett had rushed back to Forks and to Rosalie but despite Jasper's logic that there was little they could do, Alice had refused to leave. She fully intended on sneaking in to the hospital to see Bella the moment the opportunity presented itself and she was watching, actively searching the future for just that chance, determined to dodge both Charlie and Renee to see with her own eyes what she knew to be true.
Edward and Carlisle had assured her over and over again that Bella was fine. Her own visions had confirmed it for her. Still, Alice couldn't help but worry. This was partially due to the fact that she felt responsible for having let Bella elude her and Jasper at the airport. She should have seen it coming. Predicting the future and watching out for those she cared about was what she did and she had let Bella slip through her fingers. The other half of the equation was that, because of those very visions, she knew how close they had been to losing Bella completely.
She had been Edward's biggest champion, supporting wholeheartedly his decision to pursue a relationship with Bella. To realize that she had almost allowed her brother's happiness to be ripped away from him due to her own failings was incredibly painful to her. She hadn't seen James arriving in the clearing until it had been too late. She hadn't his decision to trick Bella. She hadn't seen Bella tricking her and Jasper and running off to die.
During the moments in which they all raced to the ballet studio, however, she had seen more than she had cared to. She could still recall James in her mind as he prowled around Bella, could see the way he had tortured and preyed on her before Edward had gotten there. It caused her to shudder. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, she gazed at her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall.
Burning another vampire was not something foreign to Jasper. The adrenaline rush that had come from dismembering James and starting the fire still sparked alive a part of him that was usually dormant and because of it he felt a bit on edge as he unloaded the luggage from the car.
Still, he was confident that they had destroyed all evidence of the truth back at the scene, including James' body which had been reduced to nothing more than nondescript ash. He'd even made sure to grab Renee's camera before they had left the building to burn to the ground, taking all trace of them with it. He could have left the camera to the flames but he had decided that she would eventually notice it missing. He preferred to avoid all possibility of suspicion and simply return it before its absence was discovered.
Always the gentleman, he'd sent Alice off to the room while he carried the bags up. There weren't many, just three. Two were Alice's, packed to the point of bursting with the things she had bought on the drive down from Forks for her and Bella, and he smiled slightly as he lifted them and made his way to the hotel entrance.
During the drive back to the hotel, Alice had been mostly quiet. After 62 two years of marriage, he always knew when she was deep in thought and sometimes, he swore he could almost hear her. Her mood had mainly reflected her disgust at the smell stained into her jacket along with heartbreaking guilt. Now upon entering their room he found her standing motionless, that same cloud of sadness still swirling around her as he dumped the bags unceremoniously on the bed.
He greeted her with a look of quiet knowing and went to her, wrapping his arms around her from behind. "You still feel guilty." It wasn't a question. She would know that he, as always, kept close tabs on her moods. It was how he was always able to know what was going on with her.
"It wasn't your fault." His whispered words grazed close to her ear while his lips parted into a comforting smile against the waves of guilt and self loathing she sent his way.
Alice's gaze shifted from her reflection to his, seeking out his golden eyes by way of the mirror. She wanted so much to believe that it hadn't been her fault but she simply couldn't bring herself to do so. The sound of glass shattering as James had thrown Bella into the mirrors at the ballet studio caused pain to sweep over her face and she turned her eyes away from the mirror in front of them.
"She could have died." Alice's voice was small, as though the words hurt too much to speak. "She almost did die. Edward barely got there in time. And the letter she wrote him, before going off to be killed…" She reached into her pocket and pulled it out, not needing to take it out of its opened envelope or even unfold it to recite the words from memory. "Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please." She shook her head as she put it back in her pocket, a little sob working its way up her throat that she worked hard to swallow. "It shouldn't have happened."
Her voice, helpless and strained, cut through him mercilessly. He felt the pain that she exuded when she recited the letter, each word layered with overwhelming shame. When her breath hitched in her throat, another stab of her guilt ripped through his very soul, followed closely by his own despair at seeing her so upset. Once again, his arms tightened around her as he buried his face into the nape of her neck, taking a moment to inhale a breath of her scent to steady his own emotions so that he could be strong for her.
"You are not at fault," he repeated, enunciating each word. What happened with Bella had been a split second decision, that much he was sure of or Alice would have seen it coming. His lips pressed against her soft, velvety skin as he tried another tactic to drive away the sadness and guilt consuming her.
She closed her eyes as the touch of his lips sent a shiver dancing down her spine. "Make me believe it," she begged, reaching up a hand to cup the side of his face. He rarely used his gift on her or anyone, believing as he did that it was inappropriate to toy with the emotions of those around him. But, in that moment, she needed him to. She didn't want to look at her face again in that mirror and see the evidence of the blame she placed on herself reflected in her eyes.
"Okay," he whispered, his mouth a scant breath away from the nape of her neck. He understood what she was asking without any further explanation. Using his gift to manipulate the emotions of others was something he rarely practiced but he could hardly deny her. Once again, his lips pressed against the soft flesh of her neck and with it he released a small dose of his influence to permeate around her like a fog of opium.
Alice moaned, a response to both the feel of his kiss on her neck and to the blissful cloud of happiness that enveloped her. It was the furthest thing from what she would have been feeling on her own and she didn't fight it. Instead she welcomed it, allowing her mouth to curve up into a contented smile.
She turned in his embrace and sought out his lips with her own, slipping her arms under his to wrap them around his waist. "Thank you," she breathed between kisses.
Jasper's lips found hers, the taste of them so sweet that he found himself pulling her closer. "You're welcome," he murmured, parting his lips from hers for only a fraction of a second to utter the words. His arms wound around her in an iron embrace, unwilling to spare an inch of distance between them.
Alice melted into him, her fingers balling up into fists in his jacket as she pressed herself against him, giving herself over completely to him. He could make her feel whatever he wanted, do whatever he wanted... She readily welcomed any distraction he could provide from the events of the past few days.
Alice's kiss was the sweetest nectar, a taste that not even blood could rival. As always, Jasper felt like he had the very first time they'd kissed in the meadow outside of Philadelphia, the very first time they'd made love a day later, rolling around on the forest floor in wild abandon. He was a fool for her beguiling nature and always had been. The moment her body molded to his, a spike of pure ecstasy shot through him in a jagged jolt of heat.
Despite her overwhelming desire for him Alice shifted in his arms, moving her body to the side. Something in his jacket pocket was pressed into her hip. Her brow furrowed as she moved a hand around to close over it through the fabric, breaking their kiss to look down at the concealed object she held there. "What is that?"
He felt his scattered thoughts returning to normal as she questioned the digital camera in his pocket. He tilted his head slightly, one eyebrow lifted as he drew it out for her to see. "It's a camera. I grabbed it, before we left."
Alice looked down at the camera in Jasper's palm. There on the side was a homemade label that said Renee Dwyer. Bella's mother. James had been to her house. That was how he had tricked Bella and learned of the ballet studio nearby. But why had he taken her mother's video camera there? She frowned at the possibilities.
"What do you think is on it?" she asked, running her fingers over it lightly as she bit her lip.
"I don't know. I'm going to check it to make sure there isn't anything damning that could expose us, and then I plan on returning it." He wasn't sure what got recorded, if anything. His eyebrows puckered together in thought as the golden depths of his eyes drifted to the little digital camera in his hand.
Alice nodded, lifting a hand to caress Jasper's cheek. "Perhaps you had best do that then. Renee went straight from the airport to the hospital and she may go to the house soon. I doubt she'll be looking for the camera after everything that has happened but it would be better if everything were just the way she left it."
He leaned into her touch instinctively, his lips quirking into a contented smile as he turned his head ever so slightly to press them against her palm. "Perhaps," he murmured against her skin. Somehow, with the slightest of gestures, she could simply touch him and turn him into putty in her capable hands.
Her hand left his cheek and moved to playfully tweak his nose. "They'll be plenty of time for this later," she promised, standing on her tiptoes to press a delicate kiss to his lips.
Her little fingers pinched his nose as they so often did. It still got him after so many years and his soft ripple of laughter was only silenced by her lips meeting his once more. "Of course," he replied softly, tilting his head to kiss her again. He sighed before pulling away knowing that should his lips linger on hers for too long, he wouldn't be able to stop himself and do as she had asked.
Alice smiled knowingly. "I'll go take a shower and leave you to it."
Letting her fingers trail down his shirtfront before her hand fell away, she turned and walked toward the bathroom. A shower didn't appeal to her nearly as much as the prospect of several hours spent in Jasper's arms but as she had stated, there would be plenty of time for that. Bella wasn't likely to be out of the hospital for days and Phoenix was well known for its sunshine. She and Jasper would be spending quite a bit of time in the hotel.
Once inside the bathroom she unzipped her jacket and tossed it into the wastebasket. Let the maid service think about that what they will, she thought. If it wouldn't have set off the hotel sprinklers she would have seriously considered burning her clothes. The acrid smell of smoke and death emanating from them was enough to make her want to retch. She couldn't wait to be freshly showered and in something that smelled pleasantly of laundry detergent instead.
Jasper let his eyes linger on her until she disappeared then he held up the little camera and pushed the power button. It took a minute to boot up, but once it did, what appeared on the screen caused his eyes to widen in horror. Bella. She was scared and backed up against the mirrors that had lined the walls of the ballet studio, her terrified eyes fixed straight ahead.
"I'm sorry, but I just don't think he'll be able to resist hunting me after he watches this. And I wouldn't want him to miss anything. It was all for him, of course. You're simply a human, who unfortunately was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add."
James' voice, sadistic and cheerful, floated to Alice's ears. So he had made a recording of what he had done to Bella, hoping to leave it for Edward once he had killed her so that Edward would give chase and the game would continue. She hadn't seen this happening, either, probably because she, Jasper, Carlisle, Edward and Emmett had been too busy trying to get to Bella in time.
Jasper's influence had faded away, leaving her shaking once again under the weight of regret. Everything had worked out in the end, it was true, but still she couldn't stop herself from carrying the responsibility on her shoulders. Hearing what had happened to Bella before they had reached her was chilling. She was glad she was in the bathroom and was thus spared the visual that undoubtedly accompanied the audio on the video.
James' narration on the video held Jasper's attention but it was quickly becoming too much to watch and there was no way that he was going to subject Alice to it when she already felt guilty. After less than a minute into the footage, he decided to delete it.
"Before we begin… I would just like to rub it in, just a little bit. The answer was there all along, and I was so afraid Edward would see that and ruin my fun. It happened once, oh, ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me."
A sudden vision flashed into her mind, brief and cryptic, but the knowledge it contained caused her to pitch forward, gripping the bathroom sink so tightly that for a moment she was in danger of ripping it from the wall. In the next instant she had recovered, flying out into the main room in a blur and coming to stand just behind Jasper, her restraining hand outstretched to clasp over his firmly.
"Don't."
"Alice, I'm not sure you want to see this," he argued, his eyes drawing up to her expression. The chaos of emotion rolling off of her was confusing. "Alice? Is everything okay? Did you see something?" His hand relented beneath hers as concern overwhelmed the confusion in his eyes. His first thought was that something had gone wrong with Bella. "Is it...?" he asked, unable to bring himself to utter the words. If it were, neither Edward nor Alice would be able to forgive themselves.
Alice's eyes bored into his, the look on her face a mixture of fear and anxiety suddenly tempered with deadly calm. "I'm supposed to watch this. He wanted me to watch it."
She turned her eyes with mute horror to the little screen. Bella was terrified, pressed against the mirrored wall, her eyes wary as James came into view. His back was to the camera but his face, amused and smug, was reflected in the mirror just over Bella's right shoulder. Alice had to force herself to keep her eyes open in order to watch, not knowing whether she could stand to watch Bella's leg be broken, the gashes cut into her while she screamed. But her vision had told her there was something more, something important. In the vision, Bella had said her name and there had been pain of a different sort in her voice…
"You see, the vampire who was so stupidly fond of this little victim made the choice that your Edward was too weak to make. When the old one knew I was after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked-I never will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form with you humans-and as soon as he freed her he made her safe. She didn't even seem to notice the pain, poor little creature. She'd been stuck in that black hole of a cell for so long. A hundred years earlier and she would have been burned at the stake for her visions. In the nineteen-twenties it was the asylum and the shock treatments."
Visions...
Before James had even said the word that confirmed for her about whom he was speaking, Alice knew. She knew it was her. All the air in her lungs left her in one shaky breath and she sank onto the edge of the bed.
Asylum. Shock treatments. A vague memory of pain and burning flesh caused her to whimper…
Alice's hands fluttered to her hair, finding the scars marring her scalp just above her ears with trembling fingers. The third one on the back of her head seemed to ignite, to burn red hot and relentless at the long forgotten but newly remembered horror and she clenched her teeth against a scream.
Barely contained anger darkened Jasper's features. In the instant that Alice's visions were mentioned, in the moment he knew that James was speaking of his wife, his breathing ceased. Rage conflicted with unimaginable pain, ripping through the very essence of his soul and waging a war he felt himself losing. The little camera in his palm suddenly felt heavy. Thoughts of smashing the wretched thing crossed his mind, but he couldn't bring himself to follow through with the action.
James' sadistic words echoed across the frozen walls of his mind, over and over, to the point he felt his humanity giving way to the monster buried beneath the surface. If he had known this before, he would have made his death slower. Neither Edward nor Emmett would've gotten in the way of the tortures he would have unleashed upon him.
"When she opened her eyes, strong with her fresh youth, it was like she'd never seen the sun before. The old vampire made her a strong new vampire, and there was no reason for me to touch her then." A sigh from James' reflection, a slight shrug of his shoulders. "I destroyed the old one in vengeance."
On screen, Bella's mouth fell open in astonishment. "Alice…"
More fragmented images rushed to life in her mind. A stone floor, the coldness of it seeping into her bones as she lay in the dark, listening to the crazed and anguished screams that so often haunted the night in that terrible place. Strong hands holding her down and sawing off her beautiful long black hair with a blunt knife, leaving her weeping and shaking in a broken heap on the floor. Pain. Fear. Leather straps holding her in place while her hair sizzled and burned and she tried to free herself, tried to get away, tried to scream.
And then there was another set of hands, kind and gentle this time, carrying her from the dark place and out into the moonlight, the bare branches of the trees flying by overhead and then there was pain. Searing, unbelievable pain…
Alice couldn't move, couldn't breathe. She simply sat there. Her eyes were far away, unblinking and terrifyingly empty.
Jasper swallowed, eyeing the little camera in his hand with hatred and malice. "Alice," he choked out, uttering her name for the sheer purpose of holding onto his sanity, his connection to reality. "This can't...be happening…" he mumbled in deadpan. The war continued to rage inside of him. The monster and the man he had once been fighting against each other for purchase of his conscience. He shut down, becoming numb to his surroundings.
"Yes, your little friend. I was surprised to see her in the clearing. So I guess her coven ought to be able to derive some comfort from this experience. I get you, but they get her. The one victim who escaped me, quite an honor, actually."
Alice began to tremble violently. It all made sense now. The scars, the white dress she had been wearing, the reason why she had woken up alone in the forest. The fairytale that she had constructed in her mind of what her human life might have been came crashing down around her, turning her mind into a house of horrors.
"And she did smell so delicious. I still regret that I never got to taste... She smelled even better than you do. Sorry-I don't mean to be offensive. You have a very nice smell. Floral somehow..."
"No, I don't understand." James sighed. "Well, I suppose we should get on with it. And then, I can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and my little message."
On the video there was a crashing sound and Bella screaming. Alice barely flinched. All she could do was stare.
Jasper sunk down onto the bed absently, listening to the voice on the screen. A single growl of rage rippled up his throat, cutting through the unnerving silence. In the fraction of a second that it took for his fingers to close around the camera, he'd hurled it to the floor, closing his eyes at the sound of it shattering upon impact.
With that simple action came some measure of relief. Drawing in another heavy breath, he turned toward Alice, taking in her catatonic form, unmoving and silent. "Alice," he murmured and immediately pulled her into his arms. "Alice, I love you."
Her fingers, still pressed against the little circular scars at her temples, twitched momentarily and then her hands fell away. Her face, however, remained frozen, her expression unreadable except for the shock in her eyes. She hardly seemed aware of his presence. Her mind was somewhere else, drifting, lost.
His scrambled thoughts, blurred by the blind rage he'd found himself in, slowly began to clear. "Darlin'..." Concern tinged his words, his eyes cast upon the blank look on her face. Shock treatments. Cells. James stalking her like a prize to be had. His eyes fluttered closed as the sting of those words once again cut through him like razor blades. "Alice…" he said, his voice small. Clinging onto her name seemed to be the only life preserver left in a sea of nothing, black, impenetrable.
Alice was screaming inside her head, spinning, tumbling through a rush of memories, each one more horrific than the last. She had always wanted answers, had always longed to know the truth. And now she had it and she didn't want it. There was no way to take away the things that now haunted her, no way to banish the terrifying images she had so long ago locked away and now brought back to life from the deepest, darkest places of her mind.
He reached over to take her hand, curling his fingers around her own. "Please come back to me…" Loss, confusion and a helpless terror colored his voice. What if the shock of all she had learned had pushed her over the edge? What if she remained like this forever?
Alice's cell phone vibrated on the surface of the nightstand, ringing repeatedly until it went over to voicemail. No sooner had it fallen silent then Jasper's began ringing, buzzing to life in his pocket.
Jasper mechanically drew the phone from his pocket and pressed it to his ear. Vacancy controlled his voice. "Hello?"
"Jasper!" It was Edward's panicked voice on the other end. "What is—Is Alice okay? I saw—I don't know what I saw! Her thoughts, they- Is she alright?"
"Alice is fine." Jasper's voice was dead pan, lifeless, one hand holding the phone to his ear, the other arm wrapped fiercely around Alice and holding her to him.
"Why is she seeing those things?" Edward's voice hitched in his throat. All the terror in Alice's mind was streaming through his own, images flashing rapidly from one to the next as though someone were flipping the channels on a television. And there, on every channel, were unspeakable things. Worse still, he was there with her, standing by helpless and watching as she suffered a myriad of tortures.
The desolate landscape of Jasper's mind was as barren as hell itself. It was empty, laid out in shades of grey, and completely under the control of Alice's mood. Here, his soul stood in a sea of nothing, except the mirrored emotions of torment and isolation. Lost…
Alice's mind hovered for an instant on the feel of the electricity coursing through her and her body jolted and spasmed in Jasper's arms.
"Oh God…" Edward choked, suffering right along with her.
Edward's voice cut through the muted silence along with the jolt tearing through Alice's tiny frame. It ripped through Jasper as well, causing his body to arch and go rigid with the sudden stab of pain ripping through him. The phone dropped from his fingertips and clattered to the floor.
Everything snapped back into place with perfect clarity. "Alice," he breathed, blinking away unshed tears. He squeezed his arms around her, burying his face into her neck. "Alice, it's okay. I'm here…"
Alice's hands flew up to Jasper's arms, gripping them tightly as she held on through another bout of spasms. When would the pain go away? When would they stop? She wanted to go back to the dark place, back to the nothingness, back where no one would hurt her…
Jasper locked his jaw against the next jolt of pain, allowing it to pass through him. His breath escaped in a hiss as he continued to hold onto Alice securely. "It's okay," he rasped as he swallowed against the whirl of emotions barraging him. "I'm here," he breathed. One hand moved shakily to sift through her hair in an attempt to calm her.
Edward's voice floated up from the phone where it lay on the floor. "Jasper? Is she… Is she remembering this? These aren't visions of the future… She's human in them." A moment of silence. "This is her past!"
Jasper's face lifted from the crook of Alice's neck, drawn by the sound out Edward's voice. "I-I think so," he said in a strained voice as another spasm ripped through him. "Edward, what's going on?" His gift felt so out of control as if it was his first day as a vampire, learning to control it all over again. "Edward!" he choked. Using his gift with his own emotions so unstable might not bode well for Alice or for him. He had no idea what kind of effect it would have.
"It's all coming back," Edward whispered through the phone, his voice almost in awe as he realized what exactly he had been seeing, what he continued to see through Alice's thoughts. "Everything she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember because of the darkness, because of the pain…"
"It's like-" Jasper began choking, cutting off his words. "It's like I'm being electrocuted." Another jolt shot through him, searing his flesh and rattling his voice. "I can feel it Edward! I can feel it and I-I can't- I can't control it!"
"That's because that is what she is remembering…" Edward's voice sounded ancient, as though he had aged centuries in the few minutes since he had called.
Alice could hear voices, voices that were vaguely familiar, cutting through the nightmarish visions in her mind. She wanted to fight her way to them but they were so far away.
Jasper, Jasper, Jasper…!
The name sprung to life within her, echoing through the violence, the fear, the agony as desperation became her dominant emotion."
Edward's voice filled the room, static and desperation. "Alice! She's in there, calling for you." Edward's voice buzzed through the speaker on the phone. "I—I think she hears us!"
Jasper swallowed another round of bitter, raw pain. "Alice," he pleaded, clinging to her. "Alice, I'm here. You have to come back. You have to calm down." His arms constricted around her, his face buried into her neck. She was absolutely terrified, confused, lost and in pain, all of which burned through his body like a wicked, lethal concoction.
"J-Jasper?"
Alice gasped, pulling air into her lungs like a woman nearly drowned and emerging from underwater. She blinked once, twice. Her eyes were still strangely empty but as she took in her surroundings they began to clear.
"Oh, god… Alice," he breathed, swallowing a sickening feeling. "I'm here."
"Oh, Jasper!"
Tearless sobs wracked her fragile frame and she grasped at him, desperate to feel him there, real and solid under her hands. She needed to anchor herself, to assure herself that the images fading in her mind where just that, memories from a past she had once thought she wanted to remember. Now as she shook and buried her head in Jasper's chest, she found she would give almost anything to forget.
He held her close, squeezing his arms around her. "I love you," he murmured, burying his face into the nape of her neck where he pressed a kiss. "You're safe." All the violence in the world couldn't rip him away from her. He would undoubtedly endure even the fires of hell for her. Without her, he would cease to exist, a shadow of himself lost in a world of nothing.
"I'm sending Carlisle over," Edward whispered. In the next second, there was a click from Jasper's phone and he was gone.
"Okay," Jasper replied. Even though Edward had hung up, he knew he was near enough to hear their thoughts. Worried eyes searched her face. "Alice?" he asked hopeful, his hands going to cup her cheeks.
Shattered pieces of metal strewn across the floor swam into Alice's vision and she frowned slightly. "You broke Renee's camera." It was a simple statement, her voice hollow as the shudders subsided. She raised her head, seeking out his face.
Renee's camera was the least of his concerns. "It was an accident," he lied. It wasn't, but she didn't need to know that. Not after what she'd just gone through.
A slight smile played around her lips though her expression remained tinged with sadness. "Liar."
Jasper laughed lightly. "Never could lie to you very well." He smoothed the pad of his thumb over the sharpness of her cheekbone, looking intently into her golden eyes. "Are you... back?"
She nodded slowly. "I…think so." Another shudder rippled up her spine to think of where she had been only moments before.
He breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "You had me so worried." He pressed a soft and lingering kiss to her forehead then pressed his forehead to the spot where he'd kissed her. "Edward's sending Carlisle."
"Why?" Her eyes grew wide, questioning. "He needs to stay at the hospital with Bella, just in case…"
"Edward was worried. He wanted to make sure you were okay," he said. "You don't remember?" If in fact she didn't, he wasn't about to refresh her memory.
Alice didn't say anything for a moment. She cast her gaze down at her lap instead and twined her fingers together, twisting them and fidgeting uncomfortably. "I was in an asylum. An insane asylum." She took a deep breath, hunching her shoulders. "I always thought that my life had been happy and that becoming this was just an unfortunate event in an otherwise idyllic existence." Her eyes found his again, immeasurably sad. "But that wasn't the truth and the truth wasn't something I was prepared for."
Jasper's hands fell from her face and then closed over her own. His eyes never left her face, despite how heartbreaking her expression was. "I'm sorry that you had to hear that." His voice rang with sadness.
"I always said I wanted to know," she said pitifully. "Now I do."
Jasper nodded slowly, with a heavy sigh. "Now you do," he agreed quietly.
She shook her head lightly. "He was standing right there in the clearing and I didn't even know him. James. And now I see him in my mind, hovering over me that night as I laid there, changing. And the one he killed…the one who saved me? I don't even know his name."
His expression darkened at the very mention of James. "If I would've known this beforehand, in the clearing, none of this would have happened," he murmured, casting his eyes toward the ground. "I would've killed him myself. Slower."
"If you had killed him then, I would have never known." One of her hands fluttered up to her temple again, touching the scar there with her fingertips. "Though, I think I have more questions now than I have answers."
His eyes followed her hand up to the scar above her ear. "Have I told you how beautiful you are?" he asked, leaning over to press a kiss to the very temple she indicated. "I love you," he whispered, a scant breath from her ear.
Alice closed her eyes with a sigh. "And you can still…look at me the same? Knowing that?"
Jasper gave her a look of disbelief. "Of course! I married you, didn't I? I love you no less now than I did on the day when I realized you were meant for me, no less now than the day I found out about your scars, and no less now that I know this." Sighing, he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. "Look at me. I've got enough scars for a hundred vampires, both physical and emotional. I suppose that I, above anyone else, can understand. I know what it's like to come from a place of darkness, to feel like you're lost."
Alice curled into a little ball against Jasper's chest, so willing to be comforted by him. She needed this, needed to be held, needed to be close to him. "I love you too…more than anything." She idly began kneading the fabric of his shirt in her fists, clinging to him as though she never wanted him to let her go. "We're neither of us lost anymore."
"No we're not," he chuckled. "I guess we've saved each other." Alice had saved him from the black hole of depression he'd found himself in and in turn, he'd saved her from an eternity of loneliness. His fingers stroked softly through her hair as contentment replaced her terror and sadness. As if he could read her mind, he said. "I'll never let you go."
"Did Alice see the tape?" Bella asked anxiously.
"Yes." A new sound darkened Edward's voice, a tone of sheer hatred.
"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember..."
"…I know. She understands now."