Avatar
James Cameron's Avatar!
It was the year 2007, and James Cameron decided ten years was much too much time for him not to make a movie and not make billions of dollars that he could spend on his next wedding with one of the stars of his movies. Well he had had it! It was the year 2154, and a former marine, James Scully, was on a plane to a far away planet, known as Jamesdora. He was headed there for a neew beginning. He had no idea that he would find exactly what he was looking for.
From inside his hibernation tube, which he had been in for fifty, he was thinking to himself, "I've been wating for so long, and now we'll be on Jamesdora, and I'll be able to avenge my brother, Cameron." In a flash back, back on earth, he was at a creamatory, and it was covered with spray paint, advertisements, and telescreen from which the ruler, Big James, monitored everyone. A man was talking to him about the job that had opened up due to the loss of his brother, Cameron, to go to Jamesdora, and start all over, just before he threw Cameron's dead body onto a bonfire and everybody dance and cooked marshmallows over him.
Just as his fantasy ended, the ship monitor woke him up. "Wake up you lazy jerks! We're here!"
"Bout' f***ing time." Said James, who was now over eighty years old, and had been thirty when he left for Jamesdora.
At the port, Colonal Jamesrich was yelling at all the agents about how they were here to get a rare substance, known as Jamesdonium, and get him rich, while all they got was 7 billion James dollars, which is worth practically nothing. But James was given a special offer because his name is the same of James Cameron. He was going to get his legs back, his real legs. Not some legs they cut off a dead guy and sewed them on you. They did that. At the port, where everyone entered their pods and became their Jamesatars, James met his fellow Jamesatar pilot, Jamescameron Jamesery, who had known his brother. Everything was fine, until Dr. James Augustine, who was a woman, arrived, and everyone threw up. She came over to James. Once he stopped throwing up, she spoke to him. Listen, I don't need you, I need you brother."
"Sorry, he's dead. Died when he tried to grab an apple off a tree while he was driving."
"Mother f***. Listen, we may have the same name, but we are nothing alike."
"Ha James." Said Jamescameron.
"Yes." Said James and James in unision.
"It's time to launch into your Jamesatars, James."
"What?" Asked the two."
"Hurry up."
"Let's go James." Said James Aug.
"What?" Asked the two.
The two then launched, and James was in his Jamesatar, and he was loving it! This is fawesome! In the future, they combined the words f*** and awesome, to one super word, fawesome! He ran out side, threw an old soldier out of his wheel chair, kicked a gur off a cliff, and threw a football into a glass dome, letting out all the oxygen and killing over 100 people. He loved his Jamesatar.
The next day he was out in the jungle with James and Jamescameron. The plane was flown by Jamesy, the pilot. "Wow this forest is fawesome!" Exclaimed James.
"Shut up James!" Said James.
"What?" Said the two.
"Let's go observe some forest!" Said Jamescameron.
At a branch, James and Jamescameron were observing a limb. "Look at this wave length, it's fawesome!" Stated James Aug.
James then left the group, and found some flowers. He hated flowers, so he sawed the, down, and behind them was a huge rhinocerous. "Ah f***!" Yelled James. "James what do I do?"
"What?" Said the two.
"Run at it!" Said James.
"Okay. Aah!" Yelled James as he ran at it. It backed up. "Ha! You think you're the king of the jungle? Well I am. Mother f***! I'm fawesome!"
It was then that a huge panther jumped at him. "James!" Yelled James.
"What?" Asked the two.
"Aah!" Yelled James as he ran, and fell into the Great James River. After walking for six hours, a local Jamesi' names Jamestiri' held an arrow at him, until a jellyfish landed on her bow. It was odd because jellyfish live in water, on earth. She was so confused. "What the f*** is going on?" She asked.
At night, James was killing some wolves for dinner, when Jamestiri' came and brought him back to their giant tree. "Wow, this tree is fawesome!" Yelled James.
At the tree, the leader, James, told Jamestiri' to teach James to be a Jamesvi, and she reluctantly did.
Back at the base, Colonel Jamesrich was getting information out of James, so James decided to relocate to the James mountains. There he trained non-stopped with Jamestiri', learning about how the forest works, and about their forest spirit, Jameswa. "This lifestyle is fawesome!" Said James.
"The fawesomest!" Agreed the queen.
At one point he got his big stupid dragon thing, and flew around killing everything, now even in the sky. "Dragons are fawesome!" Yelled James.
Jamestiri' taught him about Jamesrut', a big dragon that didn't like people to ride it. "What a jerk!" Said James.
"Damn straight!" Agreed Jamestire'.
Three months later, Colonel Jamesrich told James it was time to go home. "Na man. I gotta finish this mother. There's a ceramony tonight, sounds pretty fawesome."
"Aiye!" Said Colonel Jamesrich.
At the big tree, the king was painting him to be in the gang. "You are now one of the people. Now let's party!"
"Caig party!" Yelled James as they all drank caigs of Jameser Light. The next day, James and Jamestiri' found out that while they were drunk, they got married. "Dang!" Said Jamestiri'. They also realized that while they were out, Jamesrich had blown up the big tree, and devestated the people. "That mother!" Said Jamestiri'.
So James go...
We interrupt this film epic to bring you a commercial.
"Hello, my name is Dr. James Augustine. Have you ever been in the jungle with a bear trying to eat you and couldn't get a call throught? Well with James T&T, you get calls, almost everywhere." The entire screen filled with words for half a second and dissapeared. "So get James T&T the only company that gets reception in the flux vortex."
t all the other clans and told Jameswa about all the garbage about to go down. He didn't answer, so James figured they had a bad connection. "Was worth a try."
"James, use James T&T." Said Jamestiri'.
"Thanks, Jameswa, voice mail, need your help, okay."
The next day, the war was on! It was a fawesome war. Tons of people got killed. It seemed helpless, till' a ton of dragons and horses came. "James, Jameswa had heard you! He got your call!" Yelled Jamestiri'.
"Fawesome!" Yelled James.
So all the guys got killed. James killed Jamesrich himself. But at the tree, there was one more. "Give it up. It's all over.
It was James Cameron! In a bio suit. "No! It's not because it's how I want the movie to end!"
"Shut up you mother!" Said James.
"Nothing over while I'm still breathing you mother!" Said James Cameron.
"Fawesome! Let's dance you mother!" So the two fought, and James fought James, and James fought James. It was a fawesome battle. In the end, James Cameron died, and melted into the ground. "Rest in peace, you mother!" Said James.
That night, James was at a ceromony to become a Jamesi. As he did it, he passed right to Jameswa. "I like you, you're one fawesome dude!" Said Jameswa. "Now get out to be one of the people you mother!" He sent him back.
James' eyes opened in his Jamesi body. "Fawesome!"
James Cameron's Avatar!
The movie was in 3-D, but nothing was in 3-D, accept for the previews before the movie. It made over 5 billion dollars. "Take that you mothers! I'm fawesome!" Yelled the now rich James Cameron. He's done it again!
THE END