Trolling the Buckingham Palace Guards
Sup, everybody! Here's my very first Hetalia One-Shot. For those of you that don't know, the Buckingham Palace Guards are the tall British men that dress in red coats and wear those tall black fuzzy hats. So what would happen if America tries to troll them? Hilarity ensues. Disclaimer at the bottom.
READ AND REVIEW! Thank ya!
America roamed the streets of Great Britain. It had been a while since he'd been here, so why not drop by for a quick visit?
"Sup, dude," he muttered as he walked by a rather tall man in a red outfit. He didn't really pay attention to who the man was until he heard no response to his greeting. "Hey, I was talking to you," he snapped, turning around to face the man. "You could at least—oh." It suddenly hit America who this guy was. "You're one of those dudes. Is it true that you never talk?"
The man said nothing. He didn't even glance in America's direction.
"Silent treatment, huh? Okay, challenge accepted." America walked right up to the man. "Hey. Hey, you." He quickly poked him in the arm and leaped backward out of harm's way.
No response.
"Hmm…Sneak attack!" America jumped forward again and started tickling the man in the side.
No response.
"That always works on Italy. You're a tough one. Okay, you're boring. See you later." America walked away casually only to sneak around and leap in front of the man. "Boo!"
No response.
"Okay, looks like I'll need to drop some bombs. Be right back." America ran off to the nearest store and bought a carton of eggs. When he returned, the man had not moved an inch. "Wow, you're good at this." He quickly took out an egg and started tapping it against the man's face as he had done to Britain one time.
No response.
"Dang it! You know what? I give up." America walked up to a really tall tree and started climbing. "This'll do it. I'll guilt-trip him." Once he made it to a high enough branch, he pretended to slip and fall, grabbing the branch above his head so he was hanging by his arms. "Aw, crap! No! Help me! I'm gonna fall! Help me! Help me!" The flailing American got a lot of weird stares from the passersby, but not a single glance from the guard. "If I fall to my death and die, I blame you!" America yelled.
No response.
"Nothing?" America let himself drop and landed easily on his feet. "Wow. Just…wow. All right, time for some music! No one can resist the power of awesome music!" America whipped out his iPhone and scrolled through the playlists. "Hmm…I know!" He tapped his selection and held the phone up to the guard's face, blaring "Gangnam Style" in his ear. "Sure, it's not my song, but a lot of people love it!" America put the phone down and started dancing. "Heeeeeey, sexy lady! Come on, you know the words!"
No response.
"…Or maybe not. Geez, you suck. Let's try a different song. A song so bad that you'll have to move!" America looked through the playlist again and finally found the perfect song for this occasion. "Here we go." He pressed the button, blasting Justin Bieber into the atmosphere. "I blame Canada."
No response.
"Okay, so poking, tickling, eggs, pretending to be in danger, good music, and bad music were all epic fails. What's left?" America paused, and then thrust his face in the guard's face. "Staring contest!"
No response.
"Seriously? Okay, I've got one more idea up my sleeve." America eyed the guard for a brief moment before snatching the hat off his head.
And then they were running.
"Wah! Bad idea, bad idea!" America shouted, clutching the hat as the man ran after him. He saw Britain in the distance and started waving his arms like crazy.
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Britain demanded.
"The British are coming, the British are coming!" America yelled, bolting right past Britain.
"Okay, Paul Revere," Britain responded.
The man followed in hot pursuit.
"…I really do hate that man," Britain muttered, remembering his plans crashing and burning because of Paul Revere's ride. "I guess I'd better go check on America." Britain walked leisurely in the direction America had run in. "Hello."
"Took you long enough," America mumbled, sprawled on the sidewalk.
Standing next to him at attention was the guard, now wearing his hat.
"At ease," Britain said to the guard. "You can go back to your post now."
The guard nodded and walked away.
America groaned. "Seriously? He responds to you…just like that?"
"Well, yes. This is my country." Britain reached out a hand to help America up. "I think we've learned a valuable lesson today. Am I right?"
"Yeah. Those dudes are really bad sports." America let Britain help him up. "Come on; let's go troll Russia."
Britain shook his head as America ran off. "Do you ever learn?"
Disclaimer: Okay, so I don't own Hetalia, Gangnam Style, Justin Bieber, Paul Revere, the Garfield reference, or the Buckingham Palace Guards. I don't own any of that.
AN: Just a fun little one-shot. You like? Review! :D