Still His Mother
Chapter 1/2
Pauline Hay, worn her pink tracksuit which has the words Nike printed in white across it. As she worn it over her plain white tank top. A silver colored jacket on top of that, which was not zipped up right. As she worn loose blue jogging bottoms and second-hand white laced trainers. She breathed in and out before knocking, twice. She felt her bruised face, after Terry gave her one last beating before going out with his 'fancy woman'.
He treated her like dirt from start to end. When she was pregnant with Ste, the father was there. He cared for her more than Terry did at least, he and Terry had a fight. It was more verbal than physical though some punches were thrown. Pauline always had a drinking problem, she developed the drink addiction when she was just fourteen. Went out drinking with the few friends she had, started missing school. She only came out with a C mark in Science. She pretty much failed everything else.
She lived with her mother till the age of six, when she was six her mother died from a drugs overdose. Her father was told yet he done nothing to help his fragile six-year-old daughter, he abandoned her after a week as a single father. She was left alone in the council estate, he said he was going out. He never came back, she can remember crying for hours on end. Until the next door neighbor came knocking, found the poor girl on the floor in floods of tears in the early hours the next day.
Took her in, till she carted her of to the nearest care home two weeks later. Everyone seemed to be abandoning her. So she went to the care home at six, quite a few people were interested in adopting her. She looked so innocent back then. Though someone closer to home got her back. Her uncle Ronnie, got her back. Her mother's brother he was, he told her that her mother loved her very much and her taking her own life wasn't anything to do with herself.
She asked about her father all through her life, Ronnie refused to speak about him most of the time. Though he finally admitted that he left her because he was on the run from the police for a crime he never told Pauline the crime. Though he told her if she ever wants to find him, he be in Rome, Italy. That was a lie, he was found on a ferry to Dublin and is still in prison to this day. The truth was he was founded for murdering a man called Henry Jackson, Henry was going to hurt his family so he stopped him and got caught in doing this. He thinks about Pauline every day and hopes she is doing well. If he knew the truth and knew what her life was like, he kill Terry with his bare hands.
So she lived with Ronnie, though her drink problem started when he died. Fourteen year old Pauline woke up to find him dead on the couch, with a beer in his hand. He died from years of binge drinking. It finally caught up with him, Pauline can remember crying for the first time in years when she found him like that. Drink problems run in the family it seemed. She went to his funeral at fourteen in her cheap black dress though she worn her school shoes for it too. She seen a man in hand-cuffs at the funeral as well. The only other person there, it was her father though she never knew it. She never questioned it, or thought about it. She never wanted to remember her father in hand-cuffs as if he was a monster.
She gave a little speech, which made her father cry. Saying how much of a good man Ronnie was, though the thing that made her real father cry was when she said Ronnie was like a father to her. He felt cheated and felt like Ronnie stole all the moments he could have had with his daughter. He never got to see her grow up into a teenager, that hurt the most. Once the funeral was over, she once again had to go back into care. Till she was sixteen, though in those two years. She drank more and more everyday, drink was her only friend she thought.
She got mistreated by a lot of boys who only wanted her one thing, she gave in at fifteen. Lost her virginity to some boy she hardly knew, she never got over that. She expected her first time to be special, it wasn't. She turned sixteen, left school with one qualification. Got a job in some corner shop. The pay wasn't great but it would have to do. At sixteen she still was quite slim, didn't gain weight till her pregnancy. She met Ste's father in a night club called Scarlett. His name was Richard, he was slim. Did not weigh much at all, he worked in the local high school as the caretaker.
Him and Pauline must have danced the night away, Pauline still as slim as anything. She still looked after herself, though Terry would soon take that away. Before Terry, she worn jeans rather than jogging bottoms. Dresses rather than tracksuits. Jumpers rather than hoodies, her hair down rather than up. Richard told her she was his ray of sunshine. She drank a lot through the night though not as much as she would normally drink.
As she put her arms around his neck,while they swayed through the night. As she worn her cheap cock-tail dress. She was only twenty when she got pregnant with Steven. She pretty much was getting her life back on track after meeting Richard. At first her surname was Pauline Hudson after her father. So Steven Hudson seemed right though Richard wanted him to have his surname Sutcliffe. In the end, Pauline agreed to Sutcliffe but on one condition. If they got married, he accepted.
So she got married in the local church, borrowed Richard's sister's wedding dress. They got married in haste, she was holding child after all. She was three months gone by this point, as Richard's family arrived. Well, the only family he still spoke to. His sister, brother and mother. His mother liked Pauline, thought she spoke her mind which she liked. As Pauline came down in the wedding dress which was quite long, she almost tripped on it. Which made them giggle as she walked to the traditional wedding march down the aisle. Richard thought she looked 'pretty groovy' were his exact words.
As she held onto some daisies, Richard's fifteen year old brother at the time stole from a elderly woman's garden. They never knew this of cause, it was a very low-budget wedding. As Pauline borrowed a second-hand wedding dress, holding onto some stolen garden daisies and a CD which played the wedding march song. With the brother also having to be the best man, the vicar found it all quite funny. A little bit funny at least. He called it the 'cheapest wedding he ever conducted'.
For the honeymoon, it was Blackpool. Richard's mother laughed her head of when her son admitted he was taking her to Blackpool for their honeymoon. As soon as they got married, the after party was being held at Richard's mother Stella's home. As she turned on the radio and had party food with pop music. It was more like a children's birthday party but it was all they could afford.
As the Sutcliffe family welcome Pauline to the family fold. At this point, Pauline thought that her life was going to be just fine. Until Terry came along, he ruined everything. Steven Sutcliffe was the planned name. Richard couldn't wait to be a father, as he felt her stomach a lot of the time. He always presumed he would be a footballer, he was always kicking according to Richard. So they went to Blackpool, the two twenty year olds. Played on the arcade, as if they were two children.
Went to the hotel, no intercourse happened. Richard refused because she was holding his child. They both would find that strange, as they couldn't wait to go back by the third day. They couldn't do much with Pauline holding child. So they just went home early, which is when they picked names.
All sorts of names came out. George. Mike. Elliot. Andy. Even Sandy was suggested once. Though in the end, they decided Steven. Steven Richard Sutcliffe, though Terry would soon change all of that. A couple of days later, Pauline met Terry for the first time. He was shopping in Asda and they just bumped into each by accident.
They can remember saying sorry to each other and then just going of. Terry asked her our for a drink,she was flattered but told him she already had a boyfriend. So Terry insisted that it be just as friends, this she agreed to. So they went out, Terry was getting her drunk. Richard came, dragged her back home.
When she was sober, he was telling her of. Saying something could have happened to their unborn child while she got drunk. Pauline understood and was generally sorry for her actions. They made up, she told him about Terry. They were very honest with each other, they formed a great bound.
So she met Terry for more drinks the following day, much to Richard's annoyance. Once again, another argument erupted. As Richard told her to never meet Terry again, saying he was bad news. He was getting fed up with this, her going with this Terry Hay all the time. It made him suspect her of cheating which was understandable.
She denied this of cause. As the coming weeks, she kept getting heavier and heavier. She finally flipped and kissed Terry after weeks of accusations, Richard also flipped though not in the angry way. The sorry way, as he begged her for forgiveness even though she cheated on him.
Saying he never doubt her again, which resulted in her confessing her kiss with Terry. He was hurt but forgave her. He stopped accusing and they got on again. Though Terry would soon become a problem. Richard's mother was called Tina. When Tina heard about Pauline's kiss with Terry, she slapped her. Insisting just because she is holding her grandson, doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a good slap.
Tina's husband Frank came back, when he heard. He met Pauline and never liked her at all. Thought was no good for his son. Tina kicked him out however, saying he is no good and won't do anything when Steven is born. Tina thought Pauline would make a good mother, she was sadly mistaken. They forgave each other for it and got on.
All seemed well, they all got on fine. Watching television and eating junk food, what a good little cheap life they had. Pauline gave birth after Tina drove her to the hospital as soon as her waters broke. As the nurses and doctors rushed around her. A couple of hours later, he was born.
He was fine they said, they needed to do one quick check and then they can take him home. Tina insisted Steven had Richard's eyes. So he was born, things were still as happy as ever. As they lived with Tina for a bit.
Kind of sad really, Richard couldn't afford his own home. So he had to live with his mother, brother, wife and son. Though the one good thing was, four people had to do the night feed. So Pauline could have three nights without doing it. Richard the same, Tina the same and fifteen year old Matt the same.
They were some arguments, as every time someone did the night feed. They always tried to say, they did it last time. So a couple of weeks, Steven was about eight weeks old. Pauline bumped into Terry with the pram.
As soon Terry looked at Steven, he though he could easily get in with Pauline now. She won't be thinking right, with all those sleepless nights he thought. They chatted in the pub, much to Richard's shock. This is when the verbal fight happened, Pauline broke it up and returned home with Richard.
Their relationship soon fizzled out through the coming weeks. As they realized having a child did not help save their relationship at all. Richard left Pauline but he still kept in touch with her for Steven's sake. As he watched his son grow up without being with the mother.
Pauline soon got with Terry, Richard was against it. As he didn't want his son near that man; he actually told Pauline to give him the child or break up with Terry. She chose Terry over her child, that was the first time her bad side came out. Richard was so hurt by her shocking behavior that he blamed it all on Terry. Every last bit of it.
So Richard took Steven, became a single father. For two years, with Pauline only seeing him about once every two weeks. Though tragedy happened, Richard died. Bringing all bad memories of Ronnie back to Pauline. He died of a heart attack, which was a result of high blood pressure.
So Pauline took Steven back, she wasn't use to looking after him anymore. Terry became more controlling when she took Steven back. As he made her put his surname on his birth certificate. Which brought him the name. Steven Hay, minus Richard. As he took his middle name of it too.
Pauline got married to him, when she first seen her new surname she cried. She regretted letting Richard go, she loved him. She only realized this when he died sadly, so Steven grew up. When he was four, he started calling Terry 'dad'. He was too young to remember his real dad.
So Pauline broke the news to him, he was confused at first. As Pauline told him that his 'real dad is in heaven'. The only time Pauline made Ste feel better, as she gave him Richard's old watch, telling him to look after it and saying he is always looking down on him. Making sure he is safe. Even hugging her young son, after that love from Pauline was becoming rarer and rarer.
He grew up some more, when he was seven. He realized things, he starting calling Terry the 'bad man' to his primary school friends. He use to scare them, saying Terry sometimes locks him up in a cupboard with lots of spiders. His poor little friends were scared to death at the stories. Making the teachers concerned about him. As they called Pauline in, telling her. Pauline just told them, 'it's Ste's way of getting attention'.
Terry scared him enough not to tell them about him anymore. So years later Ste came to Hollyoaks High School and his life pretty much changed from there. Back to the moment and Ste opens the door to find his mother with a black eyes and bruised face.
"Please let me in" Pauline weakly spoke.