At the end-of year police Christmas party, Ema stood, bored and cranky by the food table. Everyone but her seemed to be having a good time, drinking and acting crazy. It was Christmas, after all. Everyone had exchanged gifts earlier that night, and Detective Gumshoe had dressed up as Santa Claus, handing out presents to the officers. Ema received a pack of condoms from "Santa". She shoved them in Gumshoe's face and stalked off.
"Why am I even still here?" Ema asked herself aloud. "Oh, right. The food is free." Picking up a bowl of snackoos from the table, she began to wander freely about the house. She walked into the massive foyer and gasped. "I wonder whose house this is… It's huge. No one on my pay could afford this."
"Ah, hello Fraulein," said a familiar voice from behind, " I see you are admiring the house."
Ema whipped around to face Prosecutor Klavier Gavin. The almighty glimmerous one. "Wh-What are you doing here, Prosecutor Gavin?" she asked, surprised by his sudden entrance.
"Why, Fraulein," said a surprised Klavier, "I live here."
Ema's eyes widened in disbelief. "Y-you mean you live in this huge estate?" Ema had seen how extensive the grounds were when she drove up. In her boredom she had also given herself a quick tour of the house earlier that evening. It had taken a while, and she had only walked around the first floor. It was blasphemy.
"Ah, yes, Fraulein, I believe you refused my request the last time I invited the whole precinct over for a party, yes?" smiled Klavier.
"What's the point of having such a huge home anyway?" said Ema, quickly hiding her awe, "You just have to buy more furniture to fill it up anyway. And plus, it's a pain to clean." Ema stared at the stained glass window above the door with a determined not to be amazed expression.
"Actually," Klavier hesitated for a moment before continuing, "I have my servants do that for me." He snapped sharply and a pleasant-looking maid and a tall butler appeared before them. Ema turned sharply and almost tripped in surprise.
"A drink, madam?" asked the butler politely, holding out a selection of drinks for her to take. Ema took a cute-looking strawberry margarita in astonishment. She then pinched herself hard to make sure she hadn't dozed off on the couch at home or something.
"Ouch!" she screamed after a pinching herself with as much force as one of the punches she would throw at Klavier when he got too close. She sat down on a nearby couch in wonder. Klavier chuckled lightly and sat down next to her.
"Now now, Fraulein. It's not healthy to hurt yourself," laughed Klavier, amused by Ema's expression.
Giving him the death glare, Ema said, "Wh-whatever, you glimmerous fop! I'm not at all impressed. I-it just shocked me that you could be so selfish and have all of this to yourself! That's all!" Ema trailed off, at a loss for more insults to sling. Shoving Klavier a little farther away from her, she chugged down her strawberry margarita and took another from the magically appearing butler.
"That's not it at all, Fraulein," said Klavier patiently, "My band members live here on weekends so we can practice. My brother used to live here during the week, but now…" He trailed off as well, at a loss for words. He watched as Ema gulped down 3 more glasses during the silence that followed. He continued, "But that's all right. I'm used to being alone, anyway. Unless," paused Klavier, taking a drink, preparing himself for the impact of a punch, "You would like to stay the night, Fraulein." He looked at her with a teasing expression and braced himself for the blow. What happened next was completely unexpected.
Ema slid down the couch and said, "Oh, really Klavy… is that what you really want?" She smiled. "Or is there something else in mind that you want to do tonight?" She chuckled a very not-Emasort of seductive giggle. Klavier was shocked beyond words.
"F-Fraulein, this is about the teasing isn't it? I'm sorry if I hurt you, just please don't toy with my emotions like this." He looked over at the bathroom door and saw Apollo staring, eyes wide with shock. His mouth seemed to drop down to his knees.
"Polly!" called Trucy from the door on the other side of the Foyer that led to the room that the Christmas party was in. "Hurry up, or else I'm gonna pull you out of that bathroom…." She trailed off when she saw Klavier and Ema together. Walking quickly toward Apollo, she grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him across the room. "Sorry to… interrupt, Mr. Gavin. We'll just be going back to the party now… and thanks for inviting us!" She walked into the loud Christmas party and shut the door, just barely missing Apollo's dragging legs. Klavier simply gaped as Trucy shut the door, giggling.
Ema's slender fingers pulled his face toward hers, and said, "Don't look away from me. Keep your eyes on me, and only me." She smiled affectionately and rubbed his chest delicately. She leaned forward to kiss him, and then Klavier knew why she was acting this way.
"Fraulein!" exclaimed Klavier in realization, pushing Ema away, "You're drunk!"
"Come now, Klav, don't be such a stiff," slurred Ema, "Have a drink!" She offered a glass to Klavier. Klavier hesitated for a moment, then took the margarita and drank it quickly, which prompted Ema to giggle and kiss him on the cheek gently.
"Let's go to my room now, okay?" asked Klavier, not wanting anyone else to get the wrong idea. Taking a seriously drunk Ema by the hand, he led her to the staircase, making sure that he kept both of them upright. They made their way up the large staircase without getting seriously injured, to say the least.
--
"Polly, hurry up already, we're gonna lose our chance!"
"I don't know…this seems pretty wrong, Trucy. What if we get caught?"
"Caught schmaught. I'm the one who helped my father escape when I was a mere child. If I can get him out of a courthouse, I can get us out of any predicament that hits us here."
"Somehow, I'm not very reassured by that story."
Apollo and Trucy trailed the two drunkards up the stairs silently with a camera, hoping to get good blackmail pictures. They were so focused that they didn't notice someone coming towards them from behind.
"What are you two doing?" asked Phoenix from behind them, making the two of them jump guiltily.
"Oh, hi daddy! We're just getting some blackmail pictures!" chirped Trucy innocently. Apollo smacked his oversized forehead in shame.
"Oh! Mind if I tag along? I've done quite a bit of snooping back in my lawyer days," said Phoenix mischievously, "You know, when I was younger, I used to break into farms and tip…"
Apollo looked away in disgust.
--
Klavier closed the door behind him and walked toward the bed where Ema was waiting. Ema undid her hair gracefully, and she tossed her long silky hair gently. Noticing Klavier's stare, she walked over to him and planted a sweet kiss (much cleaner than the last) upon his soft lips. He stared into her eyes lovingly, taking in all of her beauty.
"Klavy, don't you love me?" asked Ema sweetly, as if she wasn't 26, but much younger. She proceeded to kiss Klavier passionately, but he pushed her away gently.
"Fraulein, you do realize that you will regret this in the morning when you wake up," said Klavier softly to Ema, holding her at arm's distance so she would listen.
"No!" said Ema angrily, "I've always loved you!" And with that, she hugged him tightly, almost squeezing his organs out.
"Fraulein," gasped Klavier, obviously in great discomfort "I somehow find that rather hard to believe."
"It's true!" said Ema passionately, squeezing him still harder, "I just don't show it." And with that, they made out. Because Ema wanted to. Klavier had no say in the matter, being a gentleman and not telling Ema that she was compressing his lungs. They still both enjoyed the kiss, though.
--
"Man, were those good shots or what?"
"…I still think that this was and still is a bad idea…"
"Shhh! I'm taking a video to post on Mytube"
"Atta girl! That's the way it's done."
"Please don't give her any more encouragement, you've done enough today…"
"All I did was pick a lock, is that a crime?"
"You used my HAIR to do that, and now it's all messed up."
"It was the easiest thing I could find. You'll thank me for it later."
"SHHHHHH Daddy, I'm still taking a video."
"That's all right, you can put another audio file over it later…"
--
A FEW DAYS LATER
"Ema! There's mail for you," yelled Lana from the front entrance. "I'll leave it here for you on the kitchen counter, I've got to go to work now! Bye!"
"Later, sis!" yelled Ema towards Lana's back before she shut the door. "I wonder what this is…" she said, looking at the large package and ripping it open. She gasped. Out of the package fell over a dozen pictures of her making out with Klavier. All of the pictures dated December 24th. She blushed and gaped at the pictures. A letter also fell out with it. With shaking hands, she picked up and read the letter.
"I'll send my demands later"
She flipped it over to the backside, which had a URL pasted on the back. Rushing over to her computer and switching it on, she hurriedly typed in the URL into her internet browser's address bar. Her next ten minutes were spent in hell.