Author's Note: I am an angst monkey.
Disclaimer: Not mine…le sigh
"He found out."
Three little words. Words that Peter didn't want to hear. Because he knew what they meant. He knew who found out. And what he had found out. And it terrified him.
"Ivy…" he stuttered. "Let's not jump to conclusions…how could he-"
"He heard me and Tom arguing last night, and when I woke him up this morning, he asked me who his 'real daddy' was. Hell, Peter, he even asked if it was you!"
"He asked what?"
"Peter…what the hell do I do? I wasn't planning on this for another four or five years, at least."
"Ivy, back up and relax…" the boy looked at his clock. It was Saturday afternoon, not even one. "Tell me what happened."
"Last night…Tom and I…well he said something about me only loving my child because of who he reminded me of…that I wouldn't love a child that we had together…Peter, that's not true, I just don't want another child right now…"
"I know, Ivy…but why would he say something like that?" Ivy sighed. Peter felt his stomach sink. "Ivy…what were you arguing about?"
"You," the woman whispered. "He thinks that now that Jason is getting older, you should be more aloof…he doesn't want Jason to turn out…you know…"
"Gay?" Peter finished dryly.
"Oh, Peter, if he keeps on doing this, I'll divorce him. I don't know how much more of it I can stand…I won't sacrifice my sanity for a husband…It's not acceptable for him to say that sort of stuff about you, you're my best friend and Jason's favorite uncle…he's ten, I don't know what he'd do without you!"
"Ivy, please relax…" Peter mumbled. "You shouldn't worry about this so much, it'll work out fine. I'm not going anywhere, whether he wants me to or not. But the important thing is what we started with. What did you tell Jason?"
"I told him that I'd talk to him about it later. He's at a friend's house right now…Oh, Peter, what do I-"
"It'll take me about two hours to get there," Peter replied hurriedly, grabbing everything he needed. "Maybe quicker if I speed a little…whatever, I'll be there as soon as I possibly can-"
"Peter, you don't have to-"
"We said we would talk to him about this together, and I'll be damned if we don't," Peter said softly, grabbing his keys. "Don't worry, Ivy, we'll get this all worked out."
"Thank you, Peter…" the woman sniffed. "I'll see you soon."
"Yeah."
Jason was just getting dropped back off at the house when Peter pulled up. When the ten year old saw who was getting out the car, he jumped from his mother's arms and ran over, hugging Peter's legs tightly, he was very small for his age still. "Uncle Peter! I didn't know you were coming to visit today!"
"It was a surprise," Peter grinned, picking Jason up. "Jason, you're getting so big! Soon I won't be able to carry you!"
"You'll always be able to carry me!" Jason contradicted, hugging Peter as the man carried him into the house. "Because you're big!"
Peter laughed. "We'll see," he smiled. Ivy came into the front room, smiling at Peter.
"One hour and twenty minutes…how many speeding tickets did you get?" she accused jokingly.
"None," Peter chuckled. "I just got lucky."
"Why'd you come to visit?" Jason asked his uncle curiously, pulling on the man's shirt sleeve. "Is it because mama was crying this morning?"
"Jason," Ivy warned suddenly.
"Partially," Peter cut the woman off. "Someone's gotta make mama feel better, right?"
Jason looked up at him with curious, wide eyes. "Why can't my fake dad make mama feel better?" he asked.
"Jason, that's not appropriate right now," Ivy warned again. Jason squirmed in Peter's grasp to face his mother. "He's not your fake dad."
"But he said that you miss my real dad…" Jason frowned. "And you see dad every day, so he can't be my real dad. Uncle Peter…did you know my real dad?"
Peter stared at the boy for a moment, blinking back tears. He put the child down on the sofa and sat down next to him, still silent. Ivy sat on Jason's other side. The child looked between the two adults, cocking his head slightly in confusion. Ivy sighed, reaching towards her child and pulling out the chain that held the small engraved cross he wore all the time. "See this, Jason?"
"Yeah! It's the cross that Uncle Peter got me for my birthday a long time ago! The special person was named Jason too!"
"Jason," Ivy said softly. "The special person who was also named Jason…" she looked up at Peter. "Jason, you can't tell daddy that we're telling you this, okay?"
The boy frowned. "Why not? Did he know my real dad?"
"No," Ivy said softly, rubbing her son's back. "But this has to be the three of our's secret, okay?"
"Alright," Jason agreed.
"Jason, the special person whose cross this was was your real father," Ivy finally continued, glancing at Peter sadly. Peter had decided that the wall across from him was very interesting, and was staring at it blankly.
"Where is he?" Jason gasped. "Can I meet him?"
Ivy looked at Peter, who finally tuned around to his nephew. "No can do, kiddo," he said, attempting to be playful about it. "He died many years ago."
"From what?" Jason pushed.
"Sadness," Peter mumbled. "He was very, very sad."
"Why was he so sad, Uncle Peter?"
"I'll tell you when you're older," Peter said softly. But Jason climbed onto his lap and pulled at his shirt sleeve.
"Why cantcha tell me now?"
"Jason, if Uncle Peter doesn't want to tell you now he doesn't have to, right?" Ivy said quietly. "You can wait."
"He was sad because he thought I didn't want to be with him anymore," Peter mumbled.
"What do you mean 'be with him'?"
"Jason, that's enough-"
"It's alright, Ivy…if you don't mind."
"I don't mind, Peter, but-"
"Jason, your real father and I were in love. Like how your mommy and daddy love each other." Peter tried to explain it in the simplest way possible. Jason blinked.
"But wasn't he a boy too?"
Peter smiled. "Yeah. Sometimes that happens," he explained patiently. "Sometimes boys like other boys and girls like other girls. Just like sometimes boys and girls like each other."
"But Uncle Peter…if you and my real dad were in love, how can he be my daddy?" he put on a serious look. "They taught us this at school, only boys and girls can make babies together."
"Teaching them younger and younger all the time…" Peter grumbled. Ivy let out a nervous laugh. "Well, Jason…at one point, Jason and I were very angry with each other and he and your mommy made you," he tried to explain.
"But I thought moms and dads had to be in love to make a baby…" Jason frowned.
"I loved him very much," Ivy said. "Though he just loved me like a friend. But Uncle Peter was very special to him."
There was silence for a moment. Peter felt small hands on his cheek and realized he had been crying. He looked over at Ivy, who also had tears dripping down her face. "Do you miss my real daddy, Uncle Peter?" Jason asked softly, looking at the man with wide eyes.
"More than anything," Peter gave a watery smile. "But I'm very lucky to have your mommy as my best friend and you as my best nephew. There's not more in this world I want." The man reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. "Would you like to see a picture?" he asked Jason softly.
Jason looked at Ivy, who nodded. "Yeah!"
Peter slipped out a weathered picture, taken at the beginning of their senior year of high school, with him and Jason together. He handed the picture to the child on his lap, who looked closely at it.
"I look a lot like my real dad," Jason said decisively. "We have the same eyes."
"The exact same eyes…" Peter mumbled.
Jason turned to Ivy curiously. "Am I going to look like my real dad when I grow up?"
"Maybe," Ivy sniffed, trying to smile. "But you still have my nose," she poked her son's nose gently.
"Why can't I tell dad about my real dad?"
"It would make him sad," Ivy mumbled, glancing at Peter. Peter frowned slightly, staring at the wall again.
The three sat in silence for a moment. Jason handed the picture back to Peter, who absentmindedly slipped it back into his wallet. Ivy sniffed softly, unable to hold back her tears. Peter was trying, but not really succeeding.
In the silence, they heard the front door open. Ivy jumped up, sending Peter a warning glance. Peter felt his stomach churn.
"Ivy," Tom came into the room. "I see Peter's car out there, I thought we-" he stopped when he saw that Peter was in the room. "Peter," he said coldly, walking over to shake the man's hand. Peter frowned, but shook his hand back. "I didn't know you were coming up today."
"Uncle Peter came for a surprise visit!" Jason exclaimed in excitement. "I know that you don't want him to come see me anymore, but-"
"Jason!" Ivy snapped. "That's enough."
Peter chanced a look at Ivy's husband, who was fuming. "I should go now…" he mumbled, getting up. Jason looked at him sadly.
"But Uncle Peter, you just got here…"
"I have a lot of work to do," Peter said softly. "I'll come back to visit as soon as I can, alright?"
Jason nodded and hugged Peter. Silently, Peter hugged Ivy. "I'll call you," she whispered in his ear. He nodded.
Once he had driven far enough, Peter pulled his car over on the side of the road, unable to help the tears that coursed down his face. This was wrong, and they all knew it. But life was life, and that couldn't be changed.
Jason- his love, would want him to be strong.
With a sigh, Peter pulled back onto the road, taking a detour to the cemetery where Jason was buried. The sun was starting to set, and Peter gazed longingly at the pink sky.
Life wasn't over, and all he could do was live it.