It's been a long seven years and sitting in the front of class for all
those years only perpetuated my well-known status as a goodie-goodie, but I
didn't care. I had an ulterior motive. It allowed me to be closer to you
physically without letting on how I felt, and still do, about you. Besides
when you're in class you're supposed to pay attention to the instructor,
right?
In the front of the classroom, I had a closer view. I began to see things I had never noticed on another human being, muggle or otherwise, until now. Your chest moving up and down as you read from a well-aged book. The way the lines around your mouth and eyes don't seem to convey the same emotion as your usual discontented countenance presents. It isn't until you are in the midst of a lecture or watching a Quidditch match that those lines start to speak the truth.
You were happy once, but things have changed. Something happened and you were hurt. Possibly scorned by a past lover? No.it was something more painful; your lover passed away. You've never fully recovered have you? What I wouldn't give to comfort you, to hold you.
But that wouldn't be proper and besides, what would you want with someone my age? Definitely not a relationship. Do you lay awake at night thinking about him? Wanting, needing to feel his warmth? Maybe, it's a her. But no it couldn't be.you've never shown the slightest sign of liking women.in that way.
It's taken me the last three years to realize that my feelings for you are more than mere schoolgirl infatuation or adolescent lust. But, I couldn't in good conscious tell you how I feel; I don't want to blur the student/teacher boundary. Moreover, the only thing that would come of it would be an unnecessary awkwardness.
Then again, you've probably already figured it out. The all-too-frequent, chance passing in the hallway. The numerous times I've stopped by your office to 'ask about the details of a particular Transfiguration spell.' That time you caught me lurking around in the professors' residence hallway. The longing gazes I fall into during class. I've tried to convince myself that you would rationalize everything away, but you're a clever woman, that's part of the attraction.
Between my actions and the rumors, you've pieced it together. But, being the wonderful woman that you are, you've spared me the embarrassment of confronting me and allowed me my indulgences. For that and so many other things, I thank you.
In the front of the classroom, I had a closer view. I began to see things I had never noticed on another human being, muggle or otherwise, until now. Your chest moving up and down as you read from a well-aged book. The way the lines around your mouth and eyes don't seem to convey the same emotion as your usual discontented countenance presents. It isn't until you are in the midst of a lecture or watching a Quidditch match that those lines start to speak the truth.
You were happy once, but things have changed. Something happened and you were hurt. Possibly scorned by a past lover? No.it was something more painful; your lover passed away. You've never fully recovered have you? What I wouldn't give to comfort you, to hold you.
But that wouldn't be proper and besides, what would you want with someone my age? Definitely not a relationship. Do you lay awake at night thinking about him? Wanting, needing to feel his warmth? Maybe, it's a her. But no it couldn't be.you've never shown the slightest sign of liking women.in that way.
It's taken me the last three years to realize that my feelings for you are more than mere schoolgirl infatuation or adolescent lust. But, I couldn't in good conscious tell you how I feel; I don't want to blur the student/teacher boundary. Moreover, the only thing that would come of it would be an unnecessary awkwardness.
Then again, you've probably already figured it out. The all-too-frequent, chance passing in the hallway. The numerous times I've stopped by your office to 'ask about the details of a particular Transfiguration spell.' That time you caught me lurking around in the professors' residence hallway. The longing gazes I fall into during class. I've tried to convince myself that you would rationalize everything away, but you're a clever woman, that's part of the attraction.
Between my actions and the rumors, you've pieced it together. But, being the wonderful woman that you are, you've spared me the embarrassment of confronting me and allowed me my indulgences. For that and so many other things, I thank you.