Greetings, ye merrymen!! *cheesy robin hood music plays* This fic is the SanoXSouzou pairing! Long have I loved this student/mentor romance. It totally gives me that WAFF!! ^^ Anyway, I saw that movie Pearl Harbor yesterday...it was all right, but they totally acted like the Japanese were pure evil!! What may I ask is up with that?! Anyway, about the fic...it's kinda dark and tori-atama dies, demo...I hope you'll all enjoy it, ye merrymen!! And remember, RK is the property of Watsuki-sensei, Shueisha, and a few others. Anyway, please read and enjoy! ^.^
Tenshi
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Sanosuke walked silently through the forest. The night air was cool on his skin; it was a refreshing feeling. However, he didn't pay much attention to it. It was March 3, the anniversary of Sagara Souzou's death.
He had died, and for him; For Sanosuke, the stubborn, idiotic boy that he once was. Sanosuke's slow walking turned into running. He wanted to just run away from it all. To run from what he felt himself responsible for: the death of his captain. The captain he desperately adored, wanted to fall in love with. Sanosuke had loved him so much, and all this time he had kept his feelings bottled up, not wanting anyone to know how weak he actually was.
The dark sky darkened even more, if possible, and thunder rumbled. "Sagara-taichou...I'm the only one to blame for this. If only I had died...for you, and only you, I would sacrifice myself."
Sanosuke felt tears come to his eyes, but blinked them back. He promised himself to never cry. Not in ten years had he cried.
"I should've been in your place. At least then I would be able to show how much I care for you." Sanosuke murmered. Soon he had run out of the forest. It was the countryside, in front of him was a dirt road. Beyond that, an empty pasture and a calm, yet deep river illuminated by the moonlight.
He ran to the stream and knelt down beside it, splashing water on his face. He laid back into the damp grass, closing his eyes. "Taichou..." he whispered. "I wish you'd come back. I'd kill myself to love you; to be able see you at least one more time." Sanosuke sat up again, looking to the starry sky.
No matter how many times he tried to forget, or pretend to, it would still remain. The blood, the gunshots, all that was etched into his memory. Sanosuke sighed heavily.
"You must not be too pleased with me now, Taichou." Sanosuke whispered, his voice wavering. He looked down at his reflection and saw tears welling up. 'I'm pathetic.' Sanosuke raised his head but did a double take as he noticed another's reflection by his.
Sanosuke just stared in shock at the reflection. It was the sad, but smiling one of his captain. Souzou's reflection looked sympathetically at Sanosuke. "Sanosuke, please don't be so sad. I'm here, you don't have to cry. Please look at me."
The tears streamed silently down Sanosuke's face. "I can't. If I look up you won't be there." Sanosuke knew from numerous times looking into the face of a vision never did any good.
Many times he could have sworn he felt Souzou's presence or heard his voice. He would every time look up in the hopes of seeing his mentor, but he would break his heart every time when the only thing that greeted him was the wind or nothing at all.
The reflection of Souzou looked down into the water. "Sanosuke, don't cry. There's no need for you to think everything was your fault. You helped the best you could; and that was a lot for someone so young. I should thank you for all that you've done for me."
Sanosuke shook his head violently. "Sagara-taichou...I should've been the one to die. I didn't do anything to help; I couldn't even save your life." Sanosuke gritted his teeth, angry at himself for being so weak.
"Sanosuke, you have no idea what you've done for me. If you had saved my life, things wouldn't have been the same. I knew the consequences of forming the Sekihoutai. I knew how much would be placed in my hands. I knew right from the start I had to face the risk of dying, and it would be amazing if I didn't die. I already knew the consequences, Sanosuke, and nothing would have kept me from dying." Souzou smiled at Sanosuke, who looked down.
He shook his head again, but with more remorse. "Taichou, I miss you. I just wish you were still alive so I would be able to actually talk to you. I just..." Sanosuke broke off, crying for the first time in ten years.
Souzou's smile faded. "No, it's better this way. If I hadn't died, you would have, and that would be worse. You're so young, and while my fate had been sealed along with the founding of the Sekihoutai, you had your whole life to live. I didn't want you to have your whole life restricted by war, and I'm glad you've been happy this way. Don't blame yourself, Sanosuke, I'm glad I managed to save your life and not mine."
"Sagara-taichou...you...sacrificed yourself for only my sake. I owe you my whole existance. You died, and because of me...why?" Sanosuke asked, looking at the reflection of Souzou.
He smiled. "Because you're the one who showed me what living really means." Sanosuke shook his head again, but gasped as he felt the strong but gentle arms of his captain surround him from the back. Sanosuke was shocked. Yes, Souzou was actually there in a real body. Sanosuke looked down in the water to see Souzou with closed eyes and a small but for once, happy smile.
Sanosuke smiled, too. Tears of joy formed in his eyes. He closed them gratefully, feeling reunited with his mentor and idol. Sanosuke felt his arms hold him tighter. He heard Souzou's voice in his ear. "I love you, Sanosuke." Sanosuke's eyes grew wide. "Taichou..." He quickly turned his head to see his captain.
Suddenly, he wasn't there. Sanosuke no longer felt Souzou's warm arms or heard his soft voice. He looked in the water to once again see only his reflection. A strong breeze blew, and a hushed silence came over the field. "No..." Sanosuke said softly. Was everything he saw just his imagination? No, he actually felt Souzou, so it must have been him.
"He said he loved me." Sanosuke murmered, shocked beyond belief. 'But he's gone...he was never really here, was he?' Sanosuke once again felt the tears stream down his face. "Taichou. Sagara-taichou, why'd you leave me here?"
Sanosuke started sobbing, feeling utterly helpless. "Why, Taichou? I want to be with you..." He looked down, knowing no matter what he did, nothing would change. He closed his eyes for a moment and willed his tears to stop. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small dagger.
"Taichou...maybe we can still be together." he whispered, and a small smile formed on his face. With that, he plunged the dagger into his heart, still smiling. He left in it for a few seconds, trying to ignore the sickening sounds of his vital organs gushing out blood. Sanosuke bit his lip for fear that he might cry out. 'Sorry, Kenshin, Jou-chan, Yahiko. I guess this comes to show I really am a coward.' Sanosuke squeezed his eyes shut as he pulled the dagger out.
He opened his eyes slowly, taking one last look at everything. "Sagara-taichou, please wait for me...please..." Sanosuke whispered with his last breath, and then slumped lifelessly to the ground. Souzou appeared, and knelt down beside him, touching his shoulder gently.
Out of the corpse came Sanosuke, now a young boy. "Come on, Sanosuke. Let's go." Souzou said, smiling. "Taichou!" Sanosuke cried happily. Souzou held out a hand to him, who took it gladly, beaming at his captain in adoration. The two walked off into the darkness together.
OWARI
Did ya like it, ye olde merrymen?? Hope you did! I'm probably gonna get a few complaints about Sanosuke dying...*sigh* well, at least he was happier when he woke up!! (sharp objects hurled at Gein) WHAT?!! Anyway, if you want to e-mail me I'd be happy to answer any questions, comments, flames, etc.! You guys can also e-mail me and tell me what pairing you'd like to see next in a fanfic!! Remember, I don't only write yaoi...kay?? If you don't e-mail me, please write a review and tell me whether you liked it or not!! Arigatou!
Ja!!~Gein
"I'm sorry, Sagara-taichou. I really lost to this guy."--Sanosuke
Tenshi
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Sanosuke walked silently through the forest. The night air was cool on his skin; it was a refreshing feeling. However, he didn't pay much attention to it. It was March 3, the anniversary of Sagara Souzou's death.
He had died, and for him; For Sanosuke, the stubborn, idiotic boy that he once was. Sanosuke's slow walking turned into running. He wanted to just run away from it all. To run from what he felt himself responsible for: the death of his captain. The captain he desperately adored, wanted to fall in love with. Sanosuke had loved him so much, and all this time he had kept his feelings bottled up, not wanting anyone to know how weak he actually was.
The dark sky darkened even more, if possible, and thunder rumbled. "Sagara-taichou...I'm the only one to blame for this. If only I had died...for you, and only you, I would sacrifice myself."
Sanosuke felt tears come to his eyes, but blinked them back. He promised himself to never cry. Not in ten years had he cried.
"I should've been in your place. At least then I would be able to show how much I care for you." Sanosuke murmered. Soon he had run out of the forest. It was the countryside, in front of him was a dirt road. Beyond that, an empty pasture and a calm, yet deep river illuminated by the moonlight.
He ran to the stream and knelt down beside it, splashing water on his face. He laid back into the damp grass, closing his eyes. "Taichou..." he whispered. "I wish you'd come back. I'd kill myself to love you; to be able see you at least one more time." Sanosuke sat up again, looking to the starry sky.
No matter how many times he tried to forget, or pretend to, it would still remain. The blood, the gunshots, all that was etched into his memory. Sanosuke sighed heavily.
"You must not be too pleased with me now, Taichou." Sanosuke whispered, his voice wavering. He looked down at his reflection and saw tears welling up. 'I'm pathetic.' Sanosuke raised his head but did a double take as he noticed another's reflection by his.
Sanosuke just stared in shock at the reflection. It was the sad, but smiling one of his captain. Souzou's reflection looked sympathetically at Sanosuke. "Sanosuke, please don't be so sad. I'm here, you don't have to cry. Please look at me."
The tears streamed silently down Sanosuke's face. "I can't. If I look up you won't be there." Sanosuke knew from numerous times looking into the face of a vision never did any good.
Many times he could have sworn he felt Souzou's presence or heard his voice. He would every time look up in the hopes of seeing his mentor, but he would break his heart every time when the only thing that greeted him was the wind or nothing at all.
The reflection of Souzou looked down into the water. "Sanosuke, don't cry. There's no need for you to think everything was your fault. You helped the best you could; and that was a lot for someone so young. I should thank you for all that you've done for me."
Sanosuke shook his head violently. "Sagara-taichou...I should've been the one to die. I didn't do anything to help; I couldn't even save your life." Sanosuke gritted his teeth, angry at himself for being so weak.
"Sanosuke, you have no idea what you've done for me. If you had saved my life, things wouldn't have been the same. I knew the consequences of forming the Sekihoutai. I knew how much would be placed in my hands. I knew right from the start I had to face the risk of dying, and it would be amazing if I didn't die. I already knew the consequences, Sanosuke, and nothing would have kept me from dying." Souzou smiled at Sanosuke, who looked down.
He shook his head again, but with more remorse. "Taichou, I miss you. I just wish you were still alive so I would be able to actually talk to you. I just..." Sanosuke broke off, crying for the first time in ten years.
Souzou's smile faded. "No, it's better this way. If I hadn't died, you would have, and that would be worse. You're so young, and while my fate had been sealed along with the founding of the Sekihoutai, you had your whole life to live. I didn't want you to have your whole life restricted by war, and I'm glad you've been happy this way. Don't blame yourself, Sanosuke, I'm glad I managed to save your life and not mine."
"Sagara-taichou...you...sacrificed yourself for only my sake. I owe you my whole existance. You died, and because of me...why?" Sanosuke asked, looking at the reflection of Souzou.
He smiled. "Because you're the one who showed me what living really means." Sanosuke shook his head again, but gasped as he felt the strong but gentle arms of his captain surround him from the back. Sanosuke was shocked. Yes, Souzou was actually there in a real body. Sanosuke looked down in the water to see Souzou with closed eyes and a small but for once, happy smile.
Sanosuke smiled, too. Tears of joy formed in his eyes. He closed them gratefully, feeling reunited with his mentor and idol. Sanosuke felt his arms hold him tighter. He heard Souzou's voice in his ear. "I love you, Sanosuke." Sanosuke's eyes grew wide. "Taichou..." He quickly turned his head to see his captain.
Suddenly, he wasn't there. Sanosuke no longer felt Souzou's warm arms or heard his soft voice. He looked in the water to once again see only his reflection. A strong breeze blew, and a hushed silence came over the field. "No..." Sanosuke said softly. Was everything he saw just his imagination? No, he actually felt Souzou, so it must have been him.
"He said he loved me." Sanosuke murmered, shocked beyond belief. 'But he's gone...he was never really here, was he?' Sanosuke once again felt the tears stream down his face. "Taichou. Sagara-taichou, why'd you leave me here?"
Sanosuke started sobbing, feeling utterly helpless. "Why, Taichou? I want to be with you..." He looked down, knowing no matter what he did, nothing would change. He closed his eyes for a moment and willed his tears to stop. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small dagger.
"Taichou...maybe we can still be together." he whispered, and a small smile formed on his face. With that, he plunged the dagger into his heart, still smiling. He left in it for a few seconds, trying to ignore the sickening sounds of his vital organs gushing out blood. Sanosuke bit his lip for fear that he might cry out. 'Sorry, Kenshin, Jou-chan, Yahiko. I guess this comes to show I really am a coward.' Sanosuke squeezed his eyes shut as he pulled the dagger out.
He opened his eyes slowly, taking one last look at everything. "Sagara-taichou, please wait for me...please..." Sanosuke whispered with his last breath, and then slumped lifelessly to the ground. Souzou appeared, and knelt down beside him, touching his shoulder gently.
Out of the corpse came Sanosuke, now a young boy. "Come on, Sanosuke. Let's go." Souzou said, smiling. "Taichou!" Sanosuke cried happily. Souzou held out a hand to him, who took it gladly, beaming at his captain in adoration. The two walked off into the darkness together.
OWARI
Did ya like it, ye olde merrymen?? Hope you did! I'm probably gonna get a few complaints about Sanosuke dying...*sigh* well, at least he was happier when he woke up!! (sharp objects hurled at Gein) WHAT?!! Anyway, if you want to e-mail me I'd be happy to answer any questions, comments, flames, etc.! You guys can also e-mail me and tell me what pairing you'd like to see next in a fanfic!! Remember, I don't only write yaoi...kay?? If you don't e-mail me, please write a review and tell me whether you liked it or not!! Arigatou!
Ja!!~Gein
"I'm sorry, Sagara-taichou. I really lost to this guy."--Sanosuke