Dark Times

Bella POV

The morning passed slowly. I was impatient to see Alice, though I really wouldn't be able to talk to her with Edward there. Edward was quiet. Occasionally he would ask about my arm, and I would lie.

Alice usually beat us to lunch; she didn't have to keep pace with a sloth like me. But she wasn't at the table, waiting with a tray of food she wouldn't eat.

Edward said nothing about her absence. I wondered to myself if her class was running late- until I saw Connor and Ben, who were in her fourth hour French class.

"Where's Alice?" I asked Edward anxiously.

He looked at the granola bar he was slowly pulverizing between his fingertips while he answered. "She's with Jasper."

"Is he okay?"

"No." Was that the problem?

"What's wrong? Is he upset?"

"Yes."

"That's not all, is it?"

"No," he admitted, finally looking me in the eyes.

"What's wrong with him?"

"It's probably nothing."

"Tell me, please?" I gazed at him, unashamed of pleading.

"Jasper felt ill this morning. Carlisle looked at him, and somehow he has a fever. Alice stayed home with him. He was asleep when I left."

"But vampires can't sleep."

"I know. I don't understand, but he was sleeping. Something is wrong. After school, I want to pick you up at your house and take you to my house. My brother might want to speak with you, if he's awake."

"Why?"

"Guilt," he said simply.

҉

So later, Edward drove me to the Cullen house, where I offered them all a sad smile. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

They all seemed to be too preoccupied and distressed to listen to me. Carlisle was at work and Jasper was nowhere to be seen. Alice was sitting with Rose, both their eyes darting toward the ceiling occasionally.

"That's all right, Bella. It wasn't your fault," Esme said, dipping a washcloth into a bowl of water and vanishing upstairs. A moment later, she came back down, murmuring something to Edward.

"Bella, love, Jasper wants to talk to you alone. He won't hurt you."

"I know that!"

"Leave the lights off. He's got a bad headache and his eyes hurt when the light comes on," he said. Nervously, I went upstairs to Jasper and Alice's room. The door was close, and I knocked uncertainly.

A wet cough answered me. "Come in," he said weakly.

I opened the door. Darkness greeted me. It was pitch black inside, heavy curtains covering the windows, and the light was out.

"You can open the curtain a bit if you want." His tired voice came from the darkness. "Please, not too much. It hurts my eyes."

"Okay." I opened them a crack, and I saw him. He was tucked under his covers, the wet cloth on his forehead. His hair was damp with the water dripping from the cloth.

"Bella," he said. "I'm very sorry I attacked you yesterday. Before we talk about it, why don't you sit with me?"

Silently, I sat on his bed. God, I hated that he was apologizing for this. An accident. No one got hurt.

""What happened yesterday was inexcusable, and I know you will never forgive me. I'll never forgive myself, either."

I remained quiet. He needed to get this out of his system.

"When I so stupidly lost control, it hurt Alice and our family, and you. I didn't mean to, and I truly don't expect you to forgive me. But I do need to know that you know I'm sorry for what I did."

"Jasper, I know you're sorry for what you did."

"Thank you." He relaxed on the pillow, worn out from our conversation.

"However, I forgave you last night. And I want you to forgive yourself."

The door opened and Emmett slipped in. "Jazz, Esme wants you to drink something. You want fresh blood or cold blood?"

"Can't catch anything," Jasper whispered wearily, staring at me, trying to understand.

"I'll catch you something," Emmett offered.

"Thanks," Jasper sighed, eyes slipping shut.

"Oh, Bella, can I talk to you?"

I warily followed him. He shut the door gently and picked me up, carrying me outside until no one at the house could hear us.

Then he put me down, looking angry, a strange look for him. "Bella, Jazz is sick. Do you think you need to stress him out?"

"What?"

"Don't tell him you forgive him and all that shit, you'll just upset him and he'll get worse! Can't that wait until he's better?" Emmett was very angry.

"Emmett-"

He ignored me and took me back to Edward.

Okay, I know that was a weird place to end the chapter, and I know this whole thing was probably not very good. If ANYONE at all wants me to continue, then I will. Personally, I kind of think this fic gets better later on, as I already have several more chapters written… Tell me what you think, because I thought this chapter was awful!