From Tom's birthday to before Dumbledore visits him.
I've always wondered what Tom Riddle did at the orphanage.
I might add another chapter or two, but this is all I have planned for now.
31 December 1936
Dear Diary,
This is new, isn't it? This diary I'm writing in. Today is my birthday, and this is the sad excuse for a gift that I have been given. It's quite sad, isn't it? I turn eleven and all I receive is a silly little book where I can write down all of my thoughts and feelings.
In the past couple of months, I've been doing some strange things to the other children. I have been able to magically obtain some of their things, which I collect like trophies. Also, I can kill small animals. It is very interesting.
While I put on this mighty facade and act as if these powers do not scare me, I am absolutely terrified. I know that I do not wish to be normal, but why do I have these urges to kill things? Why do I take pleasure in being a masochist? Is this normal? Of course it isn't! Why do I stand out in such a horrid way? Why do the other children fear me?
As long as I am feared, though, I might as well take advantage of it.
At least I am not common, like my name suggests. At least I am powerful and better than these non- magical people surrounding me. I am far above all of these other children and I hope that I will be able to use my acquired skills to get out of this terrible and depressing orphanage.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
1 January 1937
Dear Diary,
Happy new year. Another year. Another birthday. Another sickening excuse to celebrate. Everyone should know by now that they should stay away from me. I do not want another scared child to wish me something they obviously don't mean.
I do not enjoy anyone's company besides my own.
The reason I have no friends is because I choose not the have them. If I wanted friends, I am certain I could have them in a heartbeat. Timmy and Anna consider me to be their friend, I believe. And that is only because I lulled them in.
I was cunning enough to do so. I was skilled enough to do so.
Yet is still saddens me that I am unable to truly want friends. That is not normal.
Yet again, I am so abnormal that it is not my wish to be normal for even a moment.
But would I be normal if I was so abnormal, that all of my abnormalities somehow canceled each other out and make me normal?
I sure do find myself getting off topic. I was discussing the woes of the holidays and I ended up on a tangent about my friendlessness.
Is there any hope for me at all?
I believe there is.
But in my own way. I will never be like anyone else. I am sure that I will leave this world with a definite impression. I will be remembered. It is my hope that I will be acknowledged while I'm still alive, though, since I do not intend on leaving this life. Only those too weak to escape death die.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
5 January 1937
Dear Diary,
I am baffled, shocked, upset, and more than a little angry! Mrs. Cole tried to tell me that I needed to see a doctor today! I am feeling absolutely fine and have actually been showing signs of extreme contentedness recently! Wasn't that obvious when I pushed Ralph down the stairs? Why would she suggest that I should see a doctor of some sort?
In fact, as far as orphaned kids go, I'm pretty normal, aside from my previously stated abnormalities. I believe I am so abnormal that it makes me perfectly normal. I long for attention, since I have no parents. Obviously, that's why I can be such a little tosser. All of my family is gone, so I steal the other kids belongings because I don't have anyone to give me anything. And it is quite apparent that I only threatened to kill the kitten Bobby found last week because I was jealous that I didn't have a kitten of my own! Mrs. Cole is so stupid!
She thinks I am crazy. She wants me inspected because something apparently has addled with my brains. For whatever reason, she fears me. I'm only a boy. I can't do anything to hurt her if I don't want to.
But now I want to. That evil little wench has it coming for her. She just set up her own destiny. One day, I am sure, she will pay for accusing me of being insane.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
19 February 1937
Dear Diary,
Today something of a very unusual, but not very surprising, nature occurred. I was having an argument with one of the older boys, Robert. He wanted to know why I was tormenting all of the younger children.
Tormenting? All I seek is respect. They do respect me. And I will achieve respect through any and all means, even if that means giving the children a bit of a fright. With fear comes respect, correct? And I ought to be respected.
Apparently, Robert had a problem with this. I could see no problem, so of course our little conversation turned into a quarrel.
Robert tried to force me onto the defensive, something I am not fond of. In order to get this git away from me, I set fire to his left eyebrow. It was quite comical, actually. I had to suppress laughter.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Cole decided that moment was as good as any other to enter the room, and she did storm into the room in quite an angry fashion, demanding some sort of silly thing, and I had to restore his eyebrow to perfect condition before I could get into any trouble. Aside from an eyewitness account from a small boy who had walked passed the room, there was no proof that anything had happened to his eyebrow at all (aside from the slight smell of singed hair), so Mrs. Cole couldn't do a thing about it.
How I love being me.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
28 March 1937
Dear Diary,
I talked to a snake today. It was rather exciting because it was the first time I had ever even seen a snake! Imagine my surprise when I could communicate with it!
I told it to go and bite Robert, since he's such a little tosser. To my delight, the snake bit him! Unfortunately, Robert didn't die. What a shame! It would have been exciting to have someone die on my behalf! I told it to go for Timmy, too. For whatever reason, the snake refused to bite him. I know that Timmy considers me to be his friend, but really, I am not.
I simply lured him in on the pretense that I could protect him from the other children. That he needed me. What a lie! He doesn't need me! He needs to get far from me. But that's not going to happen, is it? I've got him under my little spell.
My weird mentality about death kind of scares me. Where is my humanity? Why don't I care about people as much as I should? Sure, I care about myself, but that is not enough, is it? It is quite odd to have such a strong sense of self-preservation. Maybe I shall actually attempt to befriend the two (Timmy and Anna) without the excessive use of charm.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
14 July 1937
Dear Diary,
Today I went to the beach. It was really fantastic because I managed to bring two of those insufferably annoying brats into this very interesting cave. Oh, did I say brats? I meant my friends. We swam in this really cold lake, which was fun, for me, at least. I almost chose to drown the two little snobs, but I decided against it because then I might get in trouble, and I didn't want that.
It wouldn't be good to make Mrs. Cole suspect me again, would it?
Regardless, she know something wasn't right because Timmy and Anna have been acting differently since we got back to the orphanage.
That is precisely what I get for trying to really befriend the two, I suppose. Can it be done? I, Tom Riddle, can do anything.
So why wasn't I able to get them to trust me?
Why should I be worried? Why do I need friends? It is actually much nicer to have them fear me since they are never in my way anymore.
Oh, dear. It seems that I have gone off on a different tangent. Isn't that right? Back to the lake. I would like to say that is was absolutely spiffing, but Timmy and Anna's fear seems to suggest otherwise.
It was perfect for me. Certainly, I shall return there one day. If I could get an army of dead enchanted bodies to float in the lake, I could guard something in the center of it. Nobody could ever find it.
Oh, aren't I smart? I must get out of this orphanage soon; I am far above these people. Especially Timmy and Anna.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
16 July 1937
Dear Diary,
Something so exciting happened today! Mrs. Cole found a snake in the orphanage! And I, being the amazing chap that I am, managed to take it up to my room before she noticed that someone had entered the kitchen! I sure am sneaky!
Give me a moment to explain myself. Normally, I am very composed, showing only a placid, somewhat evil side of myself. That is only what the world sees.
However, I am quite capable of experiencing joy. I know it may be a bit of a shock, but I was quite excited earlier today when Mrs. Cole found that snake lurking in the kitchen.
Anyway, since I am able to talk to snakes, it makes me feel like I must have some sort of magic ability. I feel like that all the time, especially when I'm around Timmy and Anna, but it was magnified when I found this snake.
Goodness me, I am so excited about this news that I am just getting completely off of the subject. The snake is now my new pet and I have named her La Genie because she makes me feel so magical, like I am sure a genie would. She has also granted me three wishes:
1) She is my friend.
I have been wishing for a friend all of my life and La Genie is the first one I have ever had. Not even Timmy and Anna have been this good of friends to me.
2) I have proof that I am magical
Obviously, I'm special if I can communicate with snakes.
3)I finally have something I can call my own.
I can now properly brag to the other children. Imagine it now: "Timmy! Anna! Guess what? I have a snake! And if I want, she will kill you!"
We'll see who's laughing after that.
Oh, dear me. I still need to leave this horrid hole of a place. The difference between me and the children here is so enormous that I can hardly stand to live here anymore with people that are so below me.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
23 July 1937
Dear Diary,
As I have been writing about for a while, I need to get out of this orphanage. It holds me back since my special powers are not appreciated as they should.
I killed someone's doll, apparently, which is quite shocking. First of all, why would I kill something? I'm after friends, not enemies.
Technically, it's not friends I want. I know that La Genie is the only friend I will ever have. But it is the fear and respect that I am after. Surely, if the children fear me, they will respect me, also. So it is the respect and fear that I seek, yet I can't go around telling that to people, especially the children here. I will make sure that I go around telling people that I seek their friendship, however. I'm not so daft as to walk around the orphanage demanding respect in such an idiotic way. No, no. I am far to cunning for that.
Killing stuff won't get me friends, will it? It is rather tempting, though. Helen is such a brat that I want to kill her half the time.
Oh, well, anyway, I am apparently the murderer of Helen's doll. You know how I feel? Angry and upset! How dare she accuse me of killing an object that was never living in the first place! How dare she accuse me of ruining her doll when I clearly just wanted to rid the world of such creepy and unnecessary objects! And how dare she aggravate my temper! She knows I get angry quite easily and it was completely uncalled for for her to taunt me! She didn't need to make fun of me about my new pet snake! La Genie is the best! Why would Helen make fun of her?
She seems pretty scared of me now, which I will use to my advantage. It makes sense that she should fear and respect me. And then, one day, I'll get out of here. Possibly, I'll kill Helen since she's such a little –
I don't know what to put there. I don't know any swear words since Mrs. Cole won't let us use them. Perhaps I'll get La Genie to teach me a few.
It makes me feel so insufficient when I cannot even use the language that I wish. Just one more reason to get myself out of here.; I will have access to libraries galore. And any other place I wish to visit, really.
-Tom Marvolo Riddle
Voldemort was such a cool kid. Too bad I wasn't his BFF.