Just a sad small piece. Made for the "comfort food" prompt of HC-Bingo on LJ.
The Chocolate Phase of Grief
It is said that grief has five steps.
The first is denial, and she had no reaction at all. Her body felt numb and her brain refused to cooperate. It didn't want to believe it was real. After all, what were the chances of that being real? Pretty much none!
The second is anger, and with his funeral, her numbness faded into an almost craziness. She cried, and screamed in frustration, and yelled at him for leaving her so suddenly, before she had gathered enough courage to pour her heart out to him. She had always thought he was the one who wasn't ready to have a relationship, but truth was she wasn't either. But it didn't mean he could die on her like that. He had promised her. Promised to come back after all the dragons were gone.
But he never came back to her arms.
Erza had to remove her from the funeral and take her home. Everyone was in pain too, but no one really knew how she was feeling, they all knew that. Even Lisanna, whose feelings were no longer the same, felt sorry for her. She spent weeks home alone, with her spirits just delivering food for her in regular intervals. With this she melted the next two phases into one. The negotiation was on her spirits hands, making her eat properly while she drowned in depression
That was when the compulsive eating began. It was Aries who first brought her a bar of chocolate. And, for once, she felt like there was some happiness in the world. After that, it became more elaborated: nutella pots, brigadeiros, petit gateau, ice cream, cake, muffins, cupcakes, fondant, bonbons, anything with chocolate on it would do.
Bit by bit, her life was adjusting to her old routine. She got out of bed more often. She dressed nicely. She asked Cancer for a haircut. Little by little, she started to look like herself again. When she finally went out the house and into the guild, everyone was thrilled, but careful not to scare her away.
She managed all the way through taking small sips on a cup of hot chocolate. It was really impressive how the thing worked. She still felt hollow inside, but whatever it is that's inside chocolate, gave her strength to carry on. And it was so much more than she could ask for.
"Lu-chan, are you sure you have to buy all this chocolate?" Levy asked her once she accompanied the Stellar mage to the supermarket.
"Yes, Levy-chan, I really need it."
It was said grief had five steps. The first was denial, and her own body had taken care of that, refusing to accept the undeniable truth. The second was anger, manifested so explosively during Natsu's funeral. Third was negotiation, and that her beloved spirits had taken care of. The fourth was depression, which for her came along with the negotiation phase, since it hadn't come from her. At last, there was the fifth and last step: acceptance. But that she just couldn't do.
She would never be able to accept Natsu's demise. He was the one man she had loved, and she was quite sure she would never be able to love another. So, instead of accepting, she decided to take strength somewhere else. And the chocolate helped, because it gave her hope. It was the one thing that made her get out of bed, because it was the one thing that made her believe she would be able to be happy one day. It wasn't going to be any time soon but it would happen, and that was all she could really ask for.