Alex woke up to the sound of her alarm blaring a song she was all-too-familiar with, a song she had managed to avoid for the past two years. There was nothing special about the beat or even the lyrics of the song. In fact, it wasn't even a particularly good song, but it was special to Alex because it played during a significant moment in her life: the first and only time she kissed Olivia Benson. The kiss she shared with Olivia wasn't what most people would consider romantic. It was quick, unexpected, and neither woman knew what to make of it after it happened.
Alex and Olivia had met for drinks at a restaurant near Alex's apartment after a rather trying day. Alex had suggested going to a bar, but Olivia told her that she wasn't exactly in the mood to be around rowdy people. The rowdiest patrons at the restaurant that night happened to be Alex and Olivia. With just three drinks in their system, the two women were becoming loud and extremely talkative. Neither of them were the type to drink themselves into a stupor, but they both felt the need to unwind. It might have been the alcohol in their systems that caused the two of them to start telling each other stories about their younger years instead of talking about work like they usually did. It wasn't long before Alex knew all about Olivia's experiences in the academy and Olivia knew all about Alex's late-nights in law school. Their conversation lasted a couple of hours, but it felt like minutes to Alex. There was never any lull and the two of them hung on to every word that the other was saying.
Both Alex and Olivia had offered to pay for the full tab and, after ten minutes of the two of them insisting that they would cover it, they finally decided to split everything evenly to avoid an argument. Because Alex lived a couple of blocks away, Olivia offered to walk her home. Alex's nervousness made for an awkward walk home and she hoped Olivia didn't think she was uninterested in making conversation with her, but no one (and Alex really did mean no one) had ever made her feel so nervous. She'd always affected her this way, since the day they met and it hadn't taken much more than a smile to make Alex fall for the stoic detective. Olivia began making small talk about things they observed along the way to Alex's apartment and Alex tried to pay attention to what she was saying, but all she could focus on was Olivia's smile and how she had said more to her that evening than she had in the past two years they had worked together. Olivia hardly ever opened up to people, so Alex began wondering why Olivia was willing to spend so much time with her that night. That must mean she was special, or at least she hoped she was special to Olivia. She felt something for Olivia that she hadn't felt since she had her first girlfriend in college and even then, it had never been this strong. She hoped that Olivia was feeling it, too. Although she wouldn't let it show, Alex felt absolutely giddy inside until she told herself that Olivia was probably interested in being friends and nothing more. Still, she had to find out.
As they approached her building, Alex let go of her inhibitions and gently kissed Olivia on the lips. Their kiss lasted less than five seconds, but that was long enough for Alex to learn what Olivia's lips tasted like, how they seemed to fit so perfectly with her own, and that these were the last set of lips she ever wanted to kiss.
"Goodnight," Olivia said, her lips still just centimeters away from Alex's.
"Goodnight," Alex told her. She was about to kiss her again when a teenage girl drove by blasting an R&B song. It was a song most people considered "baby-making" music and Alex worried that hearing that song would cheapen the memory of her first kiss with Olivia, the first kiss of what she had hoped would be many.
Once Olivia had left and Alex was safely inside her apartment, she couldn't believe that she had actually had the nerve to kiss Olivia. They worked together and this could end disastrously, but Alex wasn't sure she cared to think about that. Most importantly, she couldn't believe Olivia had enjoyed the kiss as much as she had. Without caring if she was getting ahead of herself, Alex began planning how she was going to ask Olivia on a date and where she would take her if Olivia actually said yes. What Alex didn't know was that in a very short time, her life was about to drastically change, things would never be the same, and it would be years before she'd even be in the same state as Olivia again.
Alex was good with words. It was how she made a living. But these past few years had changed everything. She'd been ripped away from the woman she was sure she loved, but perhaps even more important, Alex had been ripped away from life as she knew it and thrust into a place where she had no friends, no family, no life whatsoever. The only things that kept her going were the thought of her family and the thought of Olivia.
She was a step closer to having a part of her life back—she lived in a condo similar to the one she left behind and she had a meeting with Arthur Branch later that day about a position in the DA's office. Practicing law was her passion and, honestly, who was Alex Cabot if she wasn't an attorney?
In the condo that overlooked Central Park, Alex stepped out of the luxurious shower and wrapped her towel around her. The place seemed so empty, the tall ceilings made it hollow, but there was no love in it either. There was just Alex, alone. Her family rarely visited and she always preferred to go to them anyway. As she dressed herself in a black dress, accentuated by a navy blue belt and matching cardigan, Alex thought she was looking more and more like herself every day—a far cry from Emily Davis of Tulsa, Oklahoma.
XXX
The click of heels. Olivia ears perked up to the click of heels and always would. But this stride was not like Casey Novak's. It was too even, the clicks came too far apart. This was coming from someone with long legs and wide stride. In the quiet of the courthouse, Olivia could recognize the familiar noise and felt the chill up that cascaded down her spine.
"Alex?"