Dennor – Injection time

Lukas woke roughly. Someone was shaking him, a worried voice calling his name. A bottle of some kind was held to his lips, and he swallowed automatically, only to choke on the fizzy, sugary liquid.

He blinked, his eyes slowly focussing on the figure in front of him. Tall, blond and handsome, with hair that tried its best to defy gravity. Currently wearing jeans, a faded band tshirt and a very worried expression.

"Oh" was all Lukas said. It seemed enough to reassure the other man, however.

"God damn it Lukas, you scared the hell out of me!" he yelled. He thrust the bottle in front of Lukas. "Here. Drink it all, no excuses. Hurry up."

Lukas frowned, staring in distaste at the familiar label.

Lucozade. Named after its high glucose content, it was generally seen as nothing more than a fizzy drink. But to a diabetic, it was much more. Although it wasn't a substitute for injecting, drinking it quickly was one of the best ways to raise his blood sugar if he needed a quick fix, however bad it may taste.

He grimaced, but sat up and did as he was told. When he finished the bottle, he threw it at the other man, who caught it deftly.

"There, done. Happy now, Matthias?"

Matthias looked hurt, and angry. "Lukas, you weren't waking up. What would you have done if I hadn't come in, huh? You could have gone into hypo, for fucks sake!" He was yelling again.

Lukas looked back at him passively. "Well, you did, so I didn't, so its fine."

Matthias glared at him. "Well, I won't always be here, so." He sat back on the bed, running his hands through his hair, frustrated. "God, Lukas. You really did scare me."

Lukas sighed. Rising to his knees, he leant forward and pressed a kiss to Mattias' cheek. Quietly, he said "I'm sorry. I really should be more aware. Thank you for checking on me."

"hmph" Matthias replied, feigning anger. He couldn't hold it for long, however, and caught his boyfriend in a fierce hug.

"Don't scare me like that again" he mumbled into Lukas' shirt. Lukas stayed still, then eventually reached a hand and ran it through the Dane's thick blond hair.

"I won't."

Matthias broke his hold on the smaller man. He got up off the bed and walked over to the bathroom, coming back with a small box. Lukas let out a groan and flopped back down.

"Shut up, Lukas. You almost went into hypo, I'm not taking any chances. Now, where do you want it? Arm again or not?"

Lukas rolled over and buried his head in the pillow. He hated this. Everything else he could deal with, but this was one part he would never get used to.

"—" His reply was muffled in the pillow.

"What?"

He sighed again, rolling back over to stare at the ceiling. His arm still hurt from earlier, so it would have to be his thigh. He told Matthias as such.

"Ok. Hand."

Lukas stuck his arm over the bed obediently. He winced as he felt the prick of the needle, then Matthias squeezing his finger. He watched as Matthias placed the blood-spotted paper into the indicator, then frowned as he waited for the display to show. His face cleared.

"It's not too low." Lukas sighed in relief. "But you need another dose anyway." Damn.

Lukas looked over to the clock. It was just after 10pm. He had only been asleep for around an hour then.

He watched again as Matthias readied the needle, attaching the pre-prepared dose. He turned his head and stared at the ceiling again. He felt the bed dip as Matthias sat down, hovering over him.

"Ready?"

Lukas nodded, placing an arm over his eyes. He couldn't help the tear that came to his eye as he felt the needle prick the tender skin on the top of his thigh.

"sorry" Matthias murmured. Lukas didn't reply. Matthias stood up and carefully disposed of the needle, then returned the box to its place in the bathroom cabinet. He came back into the bedroom.

Lukas lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling again. A tear slid down his face to his hairline.

"Hey, baby, don't cry. I'm sorry, I tried to be gentle, did it hurt? I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Matthias gabbled.

Lukas didn't reply, just rolled over and buried himself in his pillow. Matthias frowned worriedly.

"Hey, what's wrong? Please, Luka. Tell me."

Lukas shook his head. Matthias sat next to him on the bed, then, still getting no reply, lay down and put his arms around him. Lukas stiffened, then relaxed slightly. Matthias waited patiently. He was eventually rewarded with Lukas saying something, muffled by the pillow.

"What?"

Lukas lifted his head from the pillow, only enough to be heard. "You must hate me." He said, emotionlessly.

Matthias sat up in shock. "What? Why on earth would you think that?!" he asked.

Lukas didn't reply. After a while, he took a deep breath. "I'm too much work" he stated. "and I'm ugly" he muttered, almost inaudibly. He rubbed his arms, curling in on himself.

Matthias stared at him, shocked. He knew what Lukas was referring to, of course. As with anyone who had to inject themselves several times a day, over the years Lukas' arms and legs had toughened, the skin covered in hundreds of tiny bumps. This was what made injecting painful, trying to find a piece of skin smooth enough to allow the needle to enter easily.

But to Matthias, each and every one was beautiful. Each one showed that Lukas was alive, that he would not let the failings of his body affect him.

He hugged the Norwegian tightly, placing his hands over Lukas' on his arms.

"You are not. I know you hate this. I know it hurts. I know it sucks to have your body dependent on a needle, but I love you. I would love you if you had a hundred different needles every day. I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier, but I was so worried. You mean the world to me, Lukas, and I can't bear the thought of you not being here. His voice softened "Please, Lukas, don't ever, ever think that you aren't worth it. I don't know what I would do without you."

Lukas made a muffled noise of scorn. Matthias simply hugged him tighter. Eventually, he felt the smaller man relax, his breaths evening out into sleep. Matthias drew back, rising to his feet. He took Lukas into his arms, raising him until he could draw the covers far back enough, then lay him back down. Lukas didn't stir, having fallen deeply asleep now that his body had received the medicine it needed. Matthias drew the covers over him gently, then kissed his head. Lukas stirred slightly, but didn't wake.

Matthias made sure that there was a small snack in easy reach, in case Lukas awoke during the night and needed a sugar boost, then got ready for bed himself. He slipped into bed beside Lukas, who was still fast asleep. Pulling his boyfriend closer, Matthias matched his breaths to the other, and let himself fall into sleep as well. He would be there tomorrow to tend to Lukas, tomorrow and every day after that, for as long as Lukas needed him. If he was lucky, it would be for the rest of their lives.