Disclaimer: I own nothing, as usual.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.
One day a small midnight blue chao was floating about in the chao garden. The chaos name was Cashew but everyone called him Eevil because he was (obviously) very mean. Eevil (Yes I know I spelled it two e's, I did this on purpose) would pinch other chaos for no good reason, he was a disruption in school, and he's been known for breaking into other chaos plants.
This afternoon Eevil was bored because all of the other chaos were on a fieldtrip. He couldn't go because of his recent behavior so he was all alone. Eevil decided to take a fieldtrip of his own and left the garden. He just wandered around until he heard loud yelling and followed it all the way to a building. Eevil looked inside the window to see what was going on.
"Do I have to fire you Tom!" a baby yelled.
"My name is Tim." A plain looking man said softly.
"I don't care if it was Halle Berry! How do you expect me to make Valentines Day great if you keep screwing up?!" Eevil realized it was Cupid.
"It was an accident!" the man cried.
"Sure. Do I have to make Vanessa fall in love with your brother again?!"
"No! Please!"
"Get out of my office! Chef? Where is my warm milk?!"
"Coming up sir."
"Blacksmith prepare more arrows."
"Right away."
"Nurse!" Cupid yelled.
"What?" the nurse was annoyed by the baby's constant yelling.
"I need another diaper." The chef handed Cupid his milk "Phew! This taste like warm milk! Chef! I wanted apple juice!"
"Again?!" she grew angry.
"Yeah and don't forget the powder this time."
"I just changed you!"
"Yeah, well I just pooped again." He crossed his arms.
"Grrrr!" The nurse went on a rampage. She started destroying his office and attacking him.
A shoe flew out the window and Eevil dodged it. Next a book, then a wig, after that a puppy. Eevil stared at the whimpering pug and laughed, so he was too busy laughing he couldn't dodge the remote. It hit Eevil in the head and he fell. Eevil picked up the remote and analyzed it. It was an odd remote, it only had two buttons. A big pink button that said Love and a gray button that said Neutral.
Eevil grinned that devilish grin he got whenever he was about to pinch some chao, then he floated away with the remote. Since Eevil had no true destination he stopped at a store and looked in the window. He saw Vector and Sally in an aisle. Eevil grinned as he pointed the remote at Sally and hit the Love button. Eevil waited but it wasn't until Sally looked at him when she fell in love.
"Hey, Vector pass me the—" she felt a shock run through her system.
"The what?" Vector turned to face her but she was gone. Out of the blue someone jumped on his back and started squeezing his neck.
"Give me a piggyback ride my love!" Sally giggled.
"You're what?! Get off of me!" Vector tried to shake her off but she wouldn't budge.
Eevil laughed and floated away; his day was about to get better. He flew all the way to Mobi high, Sonics school. He went inside and hid behind a garbage can when he saw Sonic and friends. Sonic was putting ribbons and hearts on the wall; everyone was doing something.
"Amy this is stupid. Why are we doing this? Valentines Day is just for a day."
"Get in the spirit Sonic." She kissed him on the head and left while Sonic blushed.
Eevil frowned; that wasn't about to happen, he had to make Sonic fall in love with someone else. Just then Cream came along.
"Hey Cream, can you pass me the paint?" Sonic climbed up a ladder.
"Sure."
Eevil felt someone tap his shoulder as he hit the big pink button. Eevil turned and saw it was Cheese. He met Cheese before once, and pinched him/her. (Sorry, I don't know if cheese is a boy or girl.) Oddly Cheese pinched him back and it hurt; he didn't like Cheese.
"Chao Chao" Cheese said. (Translation: What are you doing?)
Eevil grunted and turned back around; he didn't feel like talking. Eventually Cheese left.
Cream looked at Sonic as she was about to hand him the paint and felt a static shock go through her system. Instead of giving Sonic the paint she gave him her hand.
"Uh, Cream, can you let go? I need the paint."
"You smell nice." She squeezed his hand. Tight. Really tight.
"Okay……..thanks I guess, but I have to finish." Cream hugged him. "Cream this is getting a little awkward." Sonic felt very uncomfortable.
Eevil smiled and flew a little closer to them.
"Help me somebody………..please?" Sonic called out as they fell off the ladder.
"What is it now? You always need help." Wave came around the corner "Quit screwing around."
Eevil hit the Love button which was pointed at Sonic. Sonic felt an electric shock as he looked at Wave.
"Wow, you look good over there." Sonic stood up.
"I knew I needed to clean my ears today." Wave said.
"Don't go, can't you see I love you?" Sonic snatched his hand away from Cream.
"Sonic I would really hate to hurt you, well not that much but still."
"Then tell me you love me." Sonic said.
Wave took off and Sonic followed her.
"Wait Sonic! I love you!" Cream yelled as she followed them.
Eevil laughed it up and followed them.
Shadow was in the gym also putting up ribbons and stuff.
"I can't believe I have to do this crap. Who wants to celebrate Valentines Day anyway? Especially when Mina's out of town, even then—"
Sonic, Cream, and Wave rushed into the gym and started arguing.
"What's going on?" Shadow yelled as Eevil hit the button.
Shadow looked at Cream and felt like somebody tazed him. "Oh my gosh! Cream! I need you in my life!"
"Can't you see I'm with Sonic!" she cried.
"What? I'm in love with Wave." Sonic said.
"Let me go!" Wave struggled to get a loose.
They argued while Eevil laughed and Fiona, Knuckles, Rouge, Charmy, Tails, and Amy walked in.
"Do your ears hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them o'er your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your ears hang low? Do your ears hang high? Do they reach up to the sky? Do they droop when they are wet? Do they stiffen when they're dry? Can you—"
"Charmy shut up!!" Rouge shouted.
Eevil hit the love button so many times it started smoking.
Charmy looked at Rouge and felt the shock of doom.
"Wow you're pretty." Charmy said.
"What?" Rouge felt her personal space being violated.
"Yum, yum, yum, yum!" Charmy was sniffing her.
"What are you doing?" she backed up slowly.
"I loooooooooooooooooooooooove you!"
Rouge backed up into Tails.
"Whoa!" Rouge yelped when she felt the electricity in her bones. "Hey cutie."
"Me?" Tails questioned.
"You're the only one cute here." Rouge pushed Charmy away.
"This is interesting."
Rouge pulled one of his tails.
"Ow! Never mind! Never mind!" Tails ran but bumped into Amy.
"Be careful Tails." Amy said as she was walking away.
"I'm sorry my darling." He attached himself to her arm.
"Let go. Do you want something?"
"Do you mean aside from your number?"
"No I mean aside from a trip to the hospital."
"I don't bite."
Amy bumped into Knuckles as she was backing up. Knuckles was on one knee in front of Fiona.
"Please marry me!"
"Why Knuckles, this is so sudden. How about………No!! Get away from me perv." Fiona said.
"But look were under a mistle toe, you know what that means." He held a mistle toe above their heads.
"…………Where did you get a mistle toe from?"
"Love finds a way."
"………No seriously. It's February."
"Why I ought to pound you!" Amy yelled.
"What?" Fiona was extremely confused.
"Steal my Knux from me will you!?"
"Ahhh!" Fiona took off as Amy pulled out her hammer.
"So Knuckles, you're messing with my girl?" Tails said.
"You can have her." Knuckles chased them "Fiona! Wait! I can be your Shrek!"
"Tails wait for me!" Rouge ran after him.
"Rouge my one true love! Sing with me! Do your ears flip flop! Can you use them like a mop!" Charmy flew after her.
Fiona tripped over Shadow and felt that shock.
"Why hello pretty boy."
"I'm already taken, by Cream, my one true love."
"Never. I love my Sonic."
"Stop touching me! Only Wave can."
"Cant you see I'm with Charmy?"
"Grrrr. Don't make me sting you!"
They argued and Eevil laughed so hard he cried. Cheese flew over to him.
"Chao Chao Chao!" Cheese yelled. (Translation: Stop this! I know what you're doing!"
Eevil paid Cheese no mind and continued to laugh. Cheese had to do this him/herself. Cheese flew all the way to Cupids building, it was a mess.
"Stupid psycho nurse, made me lose my stupid psycho remote." Cupid muttered.
Cheese floated up to him.
"Chao Chao." (Translation: Hey, I need your help!)
"Hey a flying doll." Cupid grabbed Cheese. "Hi I'm little red riding hood and I—"
"Chao Chao!" (Translation: I'm not a doll! Stop!)
"You can talk too?"
"Chao Chao!" (Translation: I'm not a doll! Listen!)
"Hey you're not a doll." Cupid let Cheese go. "Whatever you are what do you want?"
"Chao Chao." (Translation: I need your help.)
"Hm. Translator!"
"Yes sir." A guy ran in.
"Translate what this thing is saying."
After a couple of translations later……..
"Oh I get it. That's where my remote went off to. Let's hurry up and go!"
They flew off all the way back to the school. In the mean time Eevil made them fall in love with different people.
"Sonic let go of me!" Rouge yelled.
"But I love you sweetheart!"
"Cream please get off of me!" Knuckles cried.
"Shadow come back to me!" Amy cried running after him.
Suddenly Eevil heard a noise and hid behind a trash can again. Cupid and Cheese flew in. Cheese looked around for him but couldn't find him. Cupid hit everyone with a special blue arrow. Everyone felt funny and looked at Cupid.
"What just happened? Because it shouldn't have involved my face on Charmy's." Fiona said.
"Unfortunately someone has found my love remote and tested it on you guys."
"But you fixed us right?" Knuckles asked.
"Not exactly."
"What do you mean not exactly?" Rouge said.
"Well only the remote can fix you for good and I still can't locate it. These arrows I hit you with will keep you calm until the person strikes you again."
"Just keep hitting us with them."
"I don't think that's a good idea, you see, these arrows come with a side effect."
"What kind of side effect?" Cream questioned.
"Well, very little times it has been known to cause…….massive explosive diarrhea." Cupid said the last part quickly.
"Massive what!" Rouge yelled.
"Explosive diarrhea."
The girls fainted.
"But not a lot! Only 5 minutes………..or was that five hours? It might have been 5 days." Cupid said.
The guys fainted.
When they woke up they saw Cupid holding a midnight blue chao and a remote.
"Good news! I found the criminal." He held up Eevil and Eevil tried to bite him.
"Chao Chao." Cheese flew to Cream.
"I'm taking this little guy with me." Cupid said and disappeared.
"This is awesome! Let's sing guys! Do your ears hang out! Do they—"
"Shut up Charmy!" Everyone said in unison.
Everything was fine from then on, I mean everything except Tails. Poor Tails. He had massive explosive diarrhea. Yuck.
Thanks again. Kid Socks.