After seeing 7X02, I wanted to write how I imagine Emma's pregnancy. I hope you'll like it!
They'd been trying for years.
Literal years of broken hopes, heartbreaks, unshed tears every time she would get out of the bathroom with that damn white stick in her hand coldly saying that she wasn't pregnant. That there wasn't any little one growing in her stomach.
Killian would take her in his arms, then, he would whisper to her ear that it was okay. They had all the time in the world. They would end up succeeding. And he would tell her the tale of a little one half him, half her, running around the house, filling the place with laughter and joy. "Next month", he would say. "Next month, I'm sure it'll be there. We're going to be all right"
But there hadn't been any next month. There hadn't been any morning sickness, any craving, any baby bump appearing through her tight clothes. There had only been tears and hearts aching from the fact that they couldn't do anything about their wish not coming true.
They'd spent the first year of their marriage just enjoying each other, just filling their time with hugs and kisses and tender gestures. They were working together at the station now and they were closer than ever. Being married had only strengthened their already unbreakable bond.
She was the one who'd brought up the idea of trying for a child. Henry was growing up, way too fast if you'd asked her, and she'd missed the ten first years of his life. She so wanted a baby with the man she loved, a little one that they would protect from the world and would love more than anything, with maybe it's father's eyes and her blond hair. He'd been so enthusiastic, thanking her again and again for giving him the family he'd always wanted.
They hadn't worried for the first year. It was a common thing, having to wait before getting pregnant, it was okay. She would just welcome every negative test with a shrug and a hopeful smile, because one day it'd be positive, one day they'd be successful and Killian would take her in his arms and make her spin, he would touch her stomach and tell her that he loved her and their unborn child more than all the stars in the sky.
Then she'd started to get scared. Why wasn't it working? Her mother had told her not to fret, that she would end up getting pregnant and having the life she deserved. Sometimes, she would look at her baby brother with tears in her eyes, worried that taking care of a baby with the love of her life would never happen, because being completely happy was just not meant to be for her.
And then Henry had gone away, to another realm, to another world. He'd left all of them, saying that he needed to find his own story. She'd been heartbroken, she had lost count of the nights spent at crying in Killian's arms for the loss of her little boy. She'd missed so much of his life already and now he was gone. She wasn't going to have a second chance, was she?
Killian had agreed to go to Whale, hoping that some exams would finally reveal what the hell was wrong. They'd waited for the results with a tight chest and the fear that the doctor would tell them they couldn't have a child. But he'd said with a shrug and confused smile that nothing was wrong. He'd given her a fertility treatment, just in case. So she could have more chances to finally have this baby they were waiting for.
She'd taken her treatment every day, her heart swelling at the thought that maybe that would work, maybe they would succeed. Her hope had returned,, she was more determined than ever. They'd been through worse. They would overcome this, as always. Together, they could do anything.
And, one morning, a few months after Henry had gone, she'd gotten out of the bathroom with tears rolling down her cheeks and the stick finally displaying these two little pinks lines they'd waited for. Killian had lifted her up from the floor, sobs in his voice and the biggest smile she'd ever seen dancing on his lips.
"We're going to have a baby!"
"It worked!" She'd said, giggling through her tears. "It really did work!"
They'd made an appointment with Whale right away, almost bouncing up and down in excitement at the thought that they were going to have a baby, they were going to be parents. Their dream had come true and the way Killian would kiss her stomach over and over again, telling their unborn baby that he loved it so much already, would make tears of joy appear in her eyes.
But then, everything had fallen apart. Whale had welcomed them with a warm smile, but he'd grown serious during the ultrasound. There hadn't been any heartbeats ringing through the room. There hadn't been any little bean appearing on the screen in front of them.
The words "false positive" would still painfully ring in her head, sometimes, when she couldn't find sleep at night.
Everything had started to spin around her, and she couldn't remember how she'd gotten home that day. She could just recall lots and lots of tears, Killian's arms the only things that seemed real in a world that was crumbling. She'd felt like she was going to drown in her own tears.
So much for keeping hope. Now she was broken.
There wasn't going to be any little one half her and half Killian running around the house. There wasn't going to be any laughter or joy, just a couple unable to have children. She couldn't keep on trying like this, and watch her hopes fall down every time, or she didn't know what would happen to her.
"I wanna stop trying." she'd sobbed in her husband's neck, and all he could do was to hold her even tighter.
So, they'd stopped. She'd stopped her treatment and forgotten about hope. And they'd started to talk about adoption and maybe a foster kid they could help. She liked that idea, she liked the fact that they could give a lost kid the life and love they deserved. But she couldn't go any further than just talking about it, not yet anyway.
She was still mourning the loss of a kid that hadn't even existed in the first place.
These memories were the only thing Emma Swan could think about while sitting on her bathroom floor, a white stick in her hand. Again. But this time, it was different. This time, she hadn't planned on taking the damn test.
She'd noticed that she was late, but hadn't thought too much of it at first. But then time had passed, and still nothing. And she would feel sick, sometimes, she would feel like she could throw up when Killian would cook that damn fish he loved so much, or could faint when it was too hot outside. And she was tired, so damn exhausted. So, that afternoon, while Killian was patrolling around town, she'd gone to buy a pregnancy test.
She hadn't thought she would do any of that ever again. She'd thought it was over and she just had to heal her broken heart, now that she'd stopped trying. But it was too much, too many symptoms and clues, and she had to know. She hadn't given up completely yet, she realized. She had still this tiny hope living somewhere around her heart, making it beat so fast it could explode.
She hadn't said anything to Killian. She didn't want him to feel bad when the test would tell her that she wasn't pregnant, not again. She knew that all these tries and this false positive had broken him as well. He'd tried to stay strong and calm, he'd tried to be her rock as she'd tried to be his, but she'd been able to hear his sobs at night, when he would think that she was sound asleep. She didn't want to make her husband suffer. He was her whole world, and he didn't deserve all this pain.
So she'd taken the test alone at home, expecting another negative. Another knife through her heart, but at least she would be sure. But despite her head telling her not to hope for something, she could feel the excitement growing in her chest as she was waiting for the answer, all alone in her big house.
She hadn't expected to see these two little pink lines staring back at her.
She'd been staring at the pregnancy test for the past half an hour and had no idea of what she should do next. She couldn't be pregnant, they'd given up, right? And she wouldn't survive another false hope, another heartbreak. She didn't know what to do, and the only thing she could think of was that she had to call Killian, she had to tell him. He'd know how to react, he always knew.
But she couldn't do that to him, could she? She couldn't break his heart all over again, if it was a false positive. She had to stay strong, for him. So, after what seemed like hours spent in a blurry fog, Emma got out of her bathroom and went back to drugstore.
She bought five other pregnancy tests, just to be sure. If one of them was negative, then she wasn't pregnant and things would end up being just the way they were before this mess. She made Happy promise that he wouldn't tell anyone about her purchase or she would change him into a tree – what seemed to scare him to death, but she couldn't bring herself to care – and ran back to her house.
She spent half an hour gathering the strength to take the tests. Each and every one of them came back positive, the two lines shinning proudly in the dim light of her bathroom. So she sat back down on the cold floor, a hand on her stomach, tears wetting her cheeks as she had no idea of what she was going to do. What if it was a false hope, once again? What if she was just torturing herself, thinking that she could actually be expecting this child she wanted so much?
Killian found her on the bathroom floor when he came back home. He'd tried to call her several times and was deeply worried, if she was referring to her phone ringing and his concerned tone as he was calling out her name now that he was back home. She panicked. She hadn't planned on telling him, but she just couldn't keep that to herself. She didn't want to make him suffer, but she couldn't hide this from the love of her life.
"Swan, where the bloody hell are you?"
She couldn't respond and he almost didn't see her, collapsed on the floor and still crying for what seemed like days. He narrowed his eyes when he saw her small figure, and immediately knelt in front of her, his hand cupping her wet cheek, his voice trembling with concern :
"Emma, darling, what happened? Love, answer me!"
"I… I think I'm..." She managed to say, but she was sobbing too hard to continue.
He took her against him then, sitting next to her on the floor and embracing her completely, his face buried in her hair to breathe her in. She could tell that he thought she was crying about their inability to have a baby again. He rocked her against him, gently, until her sobs had finally calmed down. Then he said in a whisper, kissing her temple to try and soothe her :
"Emma, I know it's hard. It is for me too, my love, but we'll get through this. One day, a little one will hug us and call us mum and dad. We talked about adoption, and we're going to love our little duckling so much."
"I know" She said in a shaky voice, holding on to him for dear life. "But something happened, and... I think I might be pregnant."
"Excuse me? Oh, love." he added, seeing that she'd started to cry again after her statement. "What makes you say that?"
"I'm late. Like, very late. And I took pregnancy tests today. I took six damn tests and they all came back positive."
"Swan, are you serious?" he then said in a low voice, holding her even tighter. "Does that mean..."
"Don't get excited, please," she said with a little sob. "Please, if it's another false positive… I don't want us to get hurt. Not again."
"It's going to be alright", he promised, holding her so close that she was almost sitting on his lap now. "Emma, we'll be okay, I promise. Let's just go see Whale and we'll see what happens next. As long as we're together, we can overcome anything, right?"
She nodded, as always comforted by his tender words, and through her tears and despair, she felt so happy to be with a man as amazing as her husband. He was always there for her, always so caring and loving. He brought her walls down and he made her believe in love again. She loved him beyond words, beyond death, beyond everything.
So, as she was still in his arms, she told him. She just needed him to understand how much he meant to her, because he was the one who would always manage to make her believe, to give her the strength to stand up again after falling down.
"I love you, Killian, I love you so much."
"I love you too, my beautiful lass" He murmured, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "And I'll love you 'til the end of time."
They spent a long while there, just him trying to comfort her, telling her everything was going to be okay. Yet, she could feel his own pain, his own fear that it was a false hope again and his own belief that, maybe, they could finally have a chance at being parents together. But he didn't say anything, he just held her until she almost fell asleep in his arms, before carrying her to their bed and rocking her to sleep.
They went to see Whale the next day. They hadn't said a thing about this situation to anyone, they weren't going to get excited and make the same mistake they had made the last time. The disappointment in her parents' eyes when they'd learned it had all been a lie was still haunting her like a dagger through her heart.
She was holding her husband's hand so tight she got scared she would end up hurting him, but she just needed to feel him next to her, to feel his reassuring presence. Guessing her fear, he brought her head to his shoulder as they were sitting in the waiting room, saying in her ear :
"Don't be scared, love. It's okay. We're in this together."
But she couldn't help herself. She was so afraid, afraid it was only a dream, afraid that she had brought her hopes up just to watch them fall all over again. She wasn't sure how she would get over another heartbreak. But Killian's arms around her shoulders and his lips brushing against her temple were giving her strength, trust in the future. They would get through this, as always. They loved each other, and that's all that mattered.
So, when Whale opened the door, she wasn't as scared as she once had been. He asked her a few questions, at which she answered briefly, just wanting to know. But, when he asked her to finally lay down on the table at the back of the room, she froze, her heart beating so fast she could hear it ring in her ears.
She was going to learn the truth, right there, right now, and she suddenly wasn't sure that she was ready for it. If it was fake again, that meant all hope was gone and she really had to grieve for the loss of their unborn child that would never see the light of day. Even though she'd wanted to stop trying, she'd realized the day before that she'd never stopped hoping, deep down, that she was able to have a child with the man she loved. This time, if the doctor told her she wasn't with child, she would know it wasn't possible. And she could maybe mourn for good.
"C'mon, darling." Killian murmured so Whale couldn't hear him. "I'm right there. You're safe."
So, she listened to him, the blue of his eyes erasing her fear. She laid down and lifted her shirt up to divulge her still completely flat stomach. She immediately grabbed Killian's hand to give herself the courage to stay there and learn the truth. And, when Whale finally placed the cold gel on her belly, she closed her eyes.
There was a second of silence, a horrible second of despair and she thought it was it, they weren't going to get pregnant, she wasn't going to have a child. She almost started to cry, there, the lump in her throat now too thick to bear.
But then, the sound of a quick and regular heartbeat filled in the room, and she opened her eyes to stare at her husband, not sure that she was hearing correctly. He was looking straight at the screen in front of them and, as she was scared to peer at it as well, the little pressure he put on her hand made her turn her face toward the machines.
The little bean they'd desperately searched for the first time was there. It was actually there, so tiny and fragile, but the heartbeats ringing into the room were giving them the assurance that this was real. They weren't dreaming. They still didn't say anything, scared that any words would make them wake up and see that all of that had been a creation of their mind. But Whale smiled down at them before stating :
"You're pregnant."
He kept on talking, but it all seemed foggy in Emma's mind. All she could hear was this voice, saying what she'd hoped to hear for years now. Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. She was actually expecting, after giving up, after all the tears and broken hopes, they were going to be parents, together.
Through the ton of information Whale gave them, through the talk about prenatal vitamins and good diet, she got that she was about two months into the pregnancy. She had a little baby growing in her stomach, a little baby that had been desired for so long and that was already so loved, and she didn't think she could get any happier.
She was a bit stunned, though, and the conversation happened in a strange blur. It's only when Killian took her hand to bring her back to the waiting room that she started to think clearly all over again.
"Killian we're… we're going to have a baby?"
Thankfully, the room was empty and they were alone in the area. When her husband turned to look at her, she could see that he was crying. He lifted her up from the ground and held her so tight she felt like she couldn't breathe for a second. He breathed her in, face in her hair and hands everywhere, then kissed her wherever he could reach, making her chuckle through her own tears.
"We're going to be parents." he finally said, placing her back on her feet but still holding her so close. "Emma, we did it!"
Then he knelt on the floor, not paying attention to the fact they were in the middle of the hospital, and he kissed her flat stomach through her t-shirt, hand and hook resting on her hips. She ran her hand through his hair, feeling her heart swelling about twice its size because she was so damn happy.
"You're already so loved, little one." he whispered to the little bean growing there. "God, I'm so happy you're here."
Then he got back up, wrapped his arms back around his wife and kissed her senseless. His lips still brushing against hers as she was giggling in happiness, he promised :
"I'm going to take good care of you both. I love you, so bloody much."
"I don't doubt that." She smiled, knowing how overprotective he could get. "And I love you too."
They decided to keep the news secret for the first trimester. Despite their joy, they still knew that an accident could happen and they didn't want to tell their loved ones and make them suffer if something had to go wrong.
But everything went fine, and, finally, they were able to tell their family that a new baby was arriving in town. The only thing missing to the hug her mom gave her, to the tears of joy shinning in her dad's eyes, was that Henry wasn't there with them. She'd have done anything to be able to tell him that he was going to be a big brother. God, he was probably so grown, now. She chose to believe that she'd see her son soon again, and enjoyed the wonderful moment of her child being a sure thing, finally.
Killian hadn't lied about taking good care of her. He was all over her, making sure she wasn't exhausting herself, she was taking her vitamins and wasn't feeling sick. He would get up in the middle of the night to relieve her weird cravings and he would probably have carried her everywhere if she'd allowed him to.
She was moaning about it a lot, especially when he would get annoyed because he didn't want her to go to the station and do her damn job, but deep down, she really liked this. She liked feeling so loved and surrounded, and she was just so, so happy. After all those tears, the storm raging in her chest had disappeared to make a huge, shinning sun take its place.
Pass the coulds we'll find the stars. That was so right. The stars were shinning all in front of her, and she just had to reach forward and grab them.
"Babe, we're going to be late."
"I don't care."
"We have work to do."
"It can wait."
"Killian, you're impossible."
"Just let me hold you, Swan."
Emma couldn't help but giggle at her husband's behavior. They were both laying in bed, his head on her chest and both his arms wrapped around her body to hold her close. He was staring lovingly at what he called the most adorable bump ever, same bump that she'd herself named proof that I'm getting fatter.
"You're not getting bloody fat, Swan, you're growing our baby!" he would always scold when she'd say those words.
He'd brought her breakfast in bed that day. She had just hit the fourth month mark and her stomach was slowly growing, even if the bump there was still small. The morning sickness had finally calmed down, after torturing her for several long weeks. For days, she'd woken up because of her nausea, and had ended up throwing up in the bathroom. Her husband had been there in a heartbeat every time, rubbing her back and whispering comforting words to her ear. She was so damn thankful to have him by her side.
Now that she was finally feeling better, they would stay in bed for hours, just cuddling and talking about the future. But now, she really had to go to the station. Her morning patrol couldn't really wait, and she was scared that one of the dwarf would end up killing another if she wasn't there to bring peace in town. Her husband didn't seem ready to let go of her, though. He still managed to make her fall a little bit more in love every day.
"I married a dork." She laughed, running her hand through his messy hair.
"Is there something wrong with that?" he asked, looking up at her with his baby blues - god, how she hoped their child would have his beautiful eyes.
"Of course not. I love you that way."
"Good" he said, laying back down against her.
"Sweetie, you'll have to let me go eventually."
"Never." He protested, holding her even closer. "I'm never going to let you go."
She smiled tenderly at him, so moved by his soft words, and kissed the crown of his head to hug him back for a few moments. She knew this was also his way of telling her that they would never be apart again. The two of them against the world, always.
Then, finally and despite her strong desire to stay right there in her husband's arms, she rolled on her side to force Killian to let go. He groaned at that and she laughed, cupping his face to press a quick peck on his lips. He couldn't help but smile as well and watched her finally getting out of bed.
She could feel his stare burning on her skin as he was still looking at her while she was searching for her clothes in their wardrobe. He was still laying down, as if to convince her to stay right where they were. She grinned at him as she was putting on her jeans, and suddenly frowned, noticing that it was starting to get almost impossible to tie these pants.
"It's beginning to get really tight", she groaned, finally managing to put on her jeans.
"Your mother has offered to take you shopping. I think it's time." He said, finally getting up to hug her from behind, his cheek pressed against hers and his strong hand spread protectively over her bump.
Finally dressed, she turned around to watch her reflection in the big mirror of the room, her hand resting on her stomach as, for the first time, her bump was actually obvious from underneath her tight clothes. She smiled at that, and Killian moved to kiss her hair, looking himself pretty happy about that new change. It meant it was real, it meant they were actually going to have a baby. She felt like bouncing up and down in excitement.
"You're glowing" He whispered, as always generous with compliments when it came to her.
"I'm going to resemble a whale soon enough. I'm not sure you'll still think that way then." She joked, but he only frowned at her.
"Come on now, Swan. You're carrying our little one. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed"
She turned to face him this time, looking at him and biting her lips. Damn. How would he always manage to make her want him so badly? The pregnancy hormones weren't helping, and she just wanted to jump him, right there, right now.
So she listened to herself. Putting herself on her tiptoe, she smashed her mouth against his, running one hand through his hair and cupping his butt with the other. He moaned and it only made her fasten her pace. He only pulled away to ask, panting a bit :
"What about the station?"
"To hell with the station. It's you that I want."
He was the one to kiss her then, and her clothes she'd tried so hard to put on ended up on the floor in barely a few seconds. She couldn't bring herself to care.
She lead the dance that time, hands and mouth everywhere, making him moan and whisper her name in a low, raspy voice that only made her want him more. She teased him, taking him in her mouth before letting him go, bringing him on the edge of his pleasure until he begged her to just finish the damn job. "You'll be the death of me, woman", he whispered, only making her laugh.
They didn't make it in time to the station, that day. Truth to be told, she didn't give a damn and only joined her desk at lunchtime, ready for some paperwork while her husband was doing the patrol they'd missed that morning.
It's as she was finishing the last bite of her grilled cheese, her biggest craving lately, that Killian ran to her, panting, eyes wide. She got up, a bit concerned, but he didn't give her the time to ask anything.
"Henry needs us, love."
She felt her heart skipping a beat. Her son had actually contacted them, after all those months of silence. He needed them. She could already imagine herself hugging him tight and placing a kiss on his forehead, telling him just how much she'd missed him.
But then everything crumbled as Killian asked her to stay put, to rest. Going to another realm wasn't the right thing to do, with all the dangers and possible villains. She tried to protest, but he wouldn't yield. As he kissed her lips, then her stomach, promising her he would be right back before going through the portal, she already knew she wasn't going to listen. She never listened, he'd told her this years ago. He'd get over it.
She was going to see her son and tell him he was going to be a big brother, no matter what.
"And, against all odds, the princess fell in love with the pirate..."
Emma smiled, gently tickling the hair at the nape of her husband's neck. Killian was leaning over her stomach, caressing it with his hand, talking to the baby in a one-way conversation that was soothing the sheriff. She needed this comforting moment, she really did. She needed to feel her husband close to her.
Killian hadn't been happy with her coming to join Henry as well. But all his anger had faded away when he'd noticed just how heartbroken she actually was. Seeing her son all grown up only brought her back to all these moments she'd already missed with him. And she'd had to let him go a second time. But she wasn't regretting this decision she took to go see Henry. Seeing her kid after months of separation had made her so happy, even thought letting him go again had been so hard.
Her husband had spent hours trying to comfort her, nights without sleep holding her close as she was sobbing, hormonal and heartbroken. Now, as she was in her 19th week and listening to the love of her life talking to their baby, she was feeling calmer that she'd been since she'd seen Henry again.
"I don't think that was against all odds." She interrupted him softly. "The pirate has, after all, the kindest heart of them all.
"And is devilishly handsome." he said, looking up at her.
"That he is." She chuckled.
Her head resting on the pillows, she was feeling her eyes closing on their own. She was exhausted and Killian's strokes were only rocking her to sleep. As she was yawning without even bothering to cover her mouth, her husband said with a tenderized smile :
"Tired, love?"
"Big time." She answered, blinking a few times to try and stay awake. "Let's say this baby is starting to get heavy. And it's only the beginning."
"I wish I could bear a bit of your discomfort, my love." he whispered, making her smile as his hand was still resting on her bump. "Is there something you wish to make you feel better? A cup of tea? Some ice cream, maybe?"
"I wouldn't say no to ice cream," She giggled. "But I think for tonight, I'm just gonna go with resting"
"As you wish, darling."
These little nicknames he would give her would always make her heart swell in her chest. Even more now that he'd started calling their child by these little love words. Duckling and Little love were his favorite, since they didn't know if they were having a boy or a girl yet.
They'd discussed the possibility of knowing the gender before birth, and had both decided that they were too eager to wait. A week from now, they would have another ultrasound, and finally know what their little bean was. Mary-Margaret had gotten crazy at these news, and had insisted for them to have a gender reveal party. Emma hadn't had the heart to say no to the big smile her mom had on her face, and they would then learn the gender in a hopefully sunny afternoon in no less than a few days.
Emma suddenly gasp a bit, feeling a little kick in her lower stomach. It wasn't an unusual thing for these past couple of weeks, but this time, it'd been surprisingly strong. It would usually only feel like butterflies, and this time she'd actually felt a little foot throwing a kick her way.
When she looked up, a hand on her stomach, she saw Killian staring at her bump with a confused frown. He still hadn't been able to feel the baby move, since it was still early in the pregnancy, and would spend hours with a hand on her stomach to try and catch one little kick. She didn't know if he was worried because of her exclamation, or if he'd actually felt something, but understood right away when he looked up to stare at her in awe.
"You felt it?" she asked, knowing damn well the answer and feeling her heartbeats fastening in happiness.
"Bloody hell. I did. Emma, I did!"
All her exhaustion forgotten, seeing her husband so happy, she simply giggled and sat up to catch his face and kiss his forehead. He was looking so amazed, so damn happy, she felt the need to show him she loved him yet another time.
"God, Swan" he said, his hand going under her camisole, as if to get closer to the baby. "That's bloody amazing. Does it hurt?"
"No, babe, it's absolutely wonderful." She said to soothe his worry, as he was pressing a soft kiss to her stomach.
"Hey there, little duckling. Would you move for daddy again?"
She felt another kick then, just where Killian's hand was resting. He chuckled and she followed him, wanting to etch this moment in her memory forever. Seeing her husband so in love with their baby already was something she would never get sick of.
"That's my girl" He whispered to the baby.
"Girl? We don't know that yet." Emma corrected, laughing a bit.
"Well, I'm pretty sure it's a she. A little princess, just like her mummy, aye?"
Emma knew he'd be as happy if it was a little boy they were having, but seeing how amazed he looked, talking to who he thought was their daughter, she didn't have the heart to contradict him once again. She just kissed his head, softly running her fingers through his dark locks. They were going to be so happy.
Then Killian kept his hand on her bump, but moved to reach her lips and kiss them so softly her heart fluttered. He held her for a long, long time and said against her skin as he was going down to attack her neck :
"I love you so much, lass."
She'd have answered she loved him too, but the wonder he was doing with his mouth stopped her, and all she could do was moaning in pleasure. It seemed to please him, because he gently made her lay down on the bed, and got lower and lower until reaching the place where she needed him most, and showing her just how good he was with his tongue and remaining hand.
"So, ready to know if you're having a boy or a girl?"
It was a sunny, prefect afternoon. The sunshine was bright and the grass was looking greener than ever, the birds chipping in the trees. Mary-Margaret was smiling at them, Emma sitting on a chair, Killian standing behind her with his hand resting on her shoulder.
The party had been amazing. Her mom had outdone herself, and had reunited all their friends in the garden of the farm. They'd eaten hamburgers and onion rings, and her heart was probably going to burst from the excitement. She was finally going to know the gender of her child, and she just couldn't wait.
Boy or girl, it didn't matter to her as long as it was healthy and happy. She still couldn't wait to know, it was such a big step, such a proof that all of this was real and that they were going to raise a baby together. Killian kissed the top of her head and she pressed his fingers between hers. Her mom took that as an answer, and called the guests so they would gather around the huge cake placed on a little table in the middle of the yard.
If the inside was blue, it was a boy. If it was pink, it was a girl. Emma found it a bit cliché, but she wasn't going to complain. She was way too excited anyway. Killian reached for her hand to help her get out of her seat. That bump was getting out of control and she was feeling heavy and unattractive most of the time, but her husband's stares, the way he would always tell her she was beautiful and the idea of helping her child grow would make her forget about her discomfort to embrace her happiness completely.
The baby was perfectly healthy, as Whale had told them at the ultrasound a few days earlier. "A miracle, that's what our child is" Killian had answered, making both Emma and the doctor smile.
Now, standing in front of this cake with a knife in her hand and her husband's arms wrapped around her, she was sure he had been right. They were living a miracle, and she damn well intended to enjoy every second of it.
Killian kept his left arm wrapped around her, and kissed her cheek before grabbing the knife as well so they could cut the cake together. She bit her lips and turned a bit to look at him, saying with a smile she couldn't hold back :
"Ready?"
"More than ever, love" he answered with a wink.
She turned back to the cake and, together and in front of their friends' smiles, they dug into the delicious looking cream. There was an excited second during which they couldn't really see what was inside, and she could feel Killian's arms holding her even closer. Then it became obvious, and her heart skipped a wonderful beat.
It was pink.
They were having a little girl.
The guests started to chat in happiness, but she couldn't really hear them anymore. The biggest smile on her face, she turned to face her husband, as he was looking at her in awe, his hand coming to rest on her bump.
"You were right." She whispered, tears of joy in her eyes.
"We're having a little lass." he answered, before pulling her to him and kissing her lips with so much softness she thought she was about to melt.
As she was kissing him, she saw all the moments they could share with their little angel. First smile, first laughter, first words, first Christmas, first steps. A little princess was coming into their lives in no less than a few months, and she suddenly felt so ready to hold her, protect her, love her.
Of course, she was scared sometimes. Despite wanting this baby so badly, she was scared she wouldn't be a good mother. But then, Killian would take her in his arms and everything was right in the world again.
He would get scared too, sometimes, and she just couldn't get why, because she was trusting him so strongly, she knew he was going to be the perfect dad for their little girl. She was going to have him wrapped around her little finger, though, Emma already knew it at the way Killian's cheeks had become wet with tears. Who would have thought that the lonely captain would one day be so glad to know he was having a daughter that he would start crying in happiness?
She was so glad that he'd finally found the life he deserved, surrounded, loved, not feared but respected. He was so amazing, she wished he could see himself the way she did, as the most perfect husband she could ever have dreamed of.
That same night, they found themselves in their bed, her head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her in a tight hug. They had silly smiles on their faces, and Killian said, his hand finding its way to her bump, as always :
"We should think about names."
"Already?" Emma answered, even if the idea seemed quite appealing to her.
"Of course. We know it's a girl, what are we waiting for?"
"All right, then" She said, thinking for a bit before continuing. "I was thinking we should look for something meaningful. You know, a name that means something to us. We waited for this baby for so long. It's only fair that she knows it as soon as she decides to join us here."
"Well, I think I have an idea. I thought about it a lot, since I believed we were having a girl anyway."
"Really?" She was a bit surprised by this, but she really shouldn't have. He had been waited for this child for son long. "Do tell."
"You know… It's something that means something to us. I think it's important that our little love knows how much we love each other."
"She'll see it by herself anyway, babe." Emma smiled. "But I'm listening."
"What do you think about Leia?"
There was a silence as she was letting this idea sink in. She actually hadn't thought about this before, but now that he was offering it, it was perfect. Actually perfect. She knew she had feelings for him way before their trip to the past. But it's right there, as she was dancing in his arms as princess Leia that, for the very first time, she felt her heart opening up and her walls falling down. He made her understand that she could trust him for good, then, that he was not only her best friend but also her soul mate, and giving this name to their little girl was so powerful she actually wanted to cry.
"Swan, don't feel forced to agree with me on this." He got worried because of her silence, but she cut him off with a kiss on the cheek.
"No, Killian, actually… I think it's perfect. It's the best name we can find."
"Really?" He seemed so relieved it gave her the strong desire to kiss him for hours. "Leia it is, then?"
"Leia it is" She answered, feeling the baby kick, as if she were agreeing with her parents' choice. "She needs a middle name too. I think I have an idea."
"Tell me, my love."
"What about Hope? I mean, this little miracle right there." She touched her bump to illustrate her words, placing her hand above his. "It's the living proof that we should never lose hope, right?"
"I think this is a wonderful idea, Swan." he said, kissing her forehead.
"Leia Hope Swan-Jones." She whispered, feeling the words on her tongue. "I like that."
"I like that too." he sighed in happiness. "We can't wait to see you, little love." He added, stroking her stomach. "We love you so, so much already."
That night, she dreamed about a little girl with blue eyes and blond hair, dimples on her cheeks and elf ears like her father, running in their yard and laughing at the sky.
"Swan, what are you doing?"
Emma Swan froze like a kid getting busted doing something they shouldn't have. It wasn't the case, though. It was a bit weird, maybe, at the most. She was simply searching for a very special food in the drawers of their kitchen. Making a mess on her way. At three in the morning.
She turned on her heels and just gave up trying to look normal. Her feet were hurting from the uncomfortable position she'd taken, squatting like that, so she just sat down cross-legged on her kitchen floor. Looking up at Killian, she was about to offer him a sheepish smile, feeling guilty to have woken him up, but he was smirking and she said, falsely offended :
"There's nothing funny about this situation, Jones."
"Well, I have to disagree with you, darling." He answered, sitting down to face her.
"Sorry I woke you up." She said with a little wince. "I didn't mean to."
"That's all right, love. I felt that you weren't next to me in bed anymore, and wanted to know if something was wrong. So? What's going on?"
"I'm hungry." She admitted with a little sigh, both hands on her stomach. It seemed like she was always hungry lately. "Starving, actually."
"Why didn't you say anything ? I would have gotten you something."
"I know." She smiled. "I just didn't want to bother you."
"You'll never bother me, Swan, that's a promise." He said and her heart fluttered.
"You're sweet. But what I want is going to sound completely disgusting." She admitted, half laughing.
"Come on. We're on our sixth month, here. I'm ready for anything."
"You sure?" She chuckled, then continued when he'd nodded. "Well, I want pickles but I can't find any."
"We have some in the cupboard." He said, pointing at the cabinet above their heads "I went to pick a new jar up yesterday after you finished the last one."
"You're perfect." She sighed, placing a quick peck on his lips and so thankful for his thoughtfulness.
"But that isn't weird at all, Swan." He said, looking confused. "You eat a lot of those things lately."
"Well, I do want something else with it." She winced, knowing all too well how he was going to react.
"Aye?" He gently encouraged her.
"All right, if you insist… I want marshmallows with them."
"With pickles?" He said, eyes wide open.
"Yeah."
"Bloody hell, Swan."
"I know." She sighed, knowing that this was one of her weirdest cravings yet. "But I just can't help it."
"That is actually disgusting." He said, shaking his head.
"Tell that to your daughter." She answered with a shrug. "You can go back to the room, though. I know where the marshmallows are. I'm just gonna eat this odd thing then go back to sleep, you don't have to worry."
"I'm going to stay." He then decided. "I can't let my wife all alone in the middle of the night, can I?"
"Sure you can handle it, Jones?" She teased with a little giggle.
"On that one, I can't promise anything." He said, playing along. "Come on. Let's make you and the little duckling happy."
She thanked him with a kiss and he reached for her hand to help her get off the floor. As promised, he actually stayed with her as she was eating her mix of pickles and marshmallows. He even tried not to look too disgusted, but as she was finishing, finally feeling good and ready to go to sleep, she said with a chuckle at the face he was making.
"You can say you're feeling the need to throw up, now."
"I'm actually wondering how you can eat those things combined. This little love is making your do strange things, Swan."
"She's lucky I love her." She said, a hand on her stomach, and hiding a big yawn behind her free palm. "Okay. Let's go to sleep, now."
He just took her hand and brought her upstairs, only allowing himself to close his eyes when he was sure she was sound asleep.
Paint straining her overalls, hands on her hips and a content smile on her face, Emma was admiring the wonderful job they'd done. They had been working for days on this, and she was happy to see that the job was almost completely done. She spun on herself, biting her lips to take a good look at the room she was standing in, and arrived at a wonderful conclusion : the nursery was ready to welcome their baby girl.
Leia wasn't going to be there for another couple of months, but she and Killian had been too excited to wait. Not that he'd let her do any of the hard work. He wouldn't let he climb on a damn ladder, and she'd been forced to spend her time sorting the little clothes and toys they'd already picked for their baby. Her parents had come to help them with the works, and she was more than happy with the result.
The room was painted in light mauve and decorated in a nautical theme. A little helm was hanging on the wall above the white crib, a rocking-chair in the corner of the room, a replica of the Jolly roger placed on one of the set of drawers.
Emma suddenly felt really moved by all of this. She blamed the pregnancy hormones while wiping off a tear that was rolling down her cheek, but deep down, she knew it wasn't that. For such a long time, she hadn't thought she would be there again, she would have the chance to build a little nest for her own child. And now her little girl was coming to the world and she couldn't have been happier about it.
She could hear the faint voices of her parents and husband downstairs, as Killian had walked with them to their car. She was then alone in the little room, and, turning on her heels, she noticed that one of the frame still hadn't been hung on the wall. It was her favorite, one they'd found at the back of a shop and had fell in love with immediately. Home is where the anchor drops, it said, and she'd spent so long searching for a home, she just wanted her baby girl to feel loved and safe, always.
Grabbing the frame, she gently moved the ladder to climb on it and hung the picture on a nail on the wall, taking advantage of Killian's absence. Once it was done, she stayed there, standing on the ladder, to watch the result with a huge grin. Too lost in her happiness, she didn't hear the front door closing, and Killian's steps coming back to the room.
"What the bloody hell are you doing there, Swan?"
It made her startle a bit, and she didn't even have the time to look at him that he was already behind her. Placing hand and hook on her hips, he gently guided her back down on the floor, and made her turn in his arm, looking at her in a disapproving way.
"I asked you not to climb on the bloody ladder, Emma."
"I just wanted to hang the frame." She shrugged calmly, used to him being overprotective by now.
"You could have called me. I would have done it."
"Relax, babe." She smiled, wrapping her own arms around him and far from being impressed by the look he was giving her. "I wasn't even two feet from the ground. I wasn't risking a thing."
"You could have fallen down." He protested, frowning.
"Do you really think I'm that clumsy?" She joked. "I know I'm not really the gracious type thanks to all the extra-weight I have to carry around, but I can still stand on my feet."
"Swan, you're the mots beautiful, gracious woman I've ever seen and that will never change." He said seriously. "I'm just scared of you hurting yourself."
She blushed at his words. He was always so sweet and romantic with her. "I'm fine, I was being careful. I promise. I want our baby girl to be as healthy as possible, you know that. It's not like I was chasing a monster or anything. The town is calm for months and I was just trying to help building my daughter's room. I don't see anything wrong with that."
"It isn't Emma, it's just… you're my entire world, you know that, aye? I'm scared of something happening to you or the baby. I know I can be overprotective, sometimes..."
"Sometimes?" She teased him with an amused smile.
"Alright, often, I give you that one." He chuckled, playing with a strand of her hair. "But I just want you to be happy and safe. I just want our baby to be healthy." He placed his hand on her bump, feeling the baby kick.
"I'm happy, sweetie." Emma answered softly. "I really am, and it's thanks to you. And Leia is in great shape. She's even training to be a soccer player in there, given how she likes to kick my ribs."
"Already a little pirate that we have there." He said with pure adoration in his eyes. "I love you. Both of you."
"I love you too." She answered, putting herself on her tiptoe to catch his lips.
It was strange, to think that not so long ago, she was scared to pronounce these words out loud, she was scared of being hurt again. But he'd never let her down, he'd been there, always, and now they were creating a little family together. Happiness wasn't even a strong enough word to describe what she was feeling.
"How do you like the nursery?" He asked her when they'd pulled away, wrapping both his arms around her as she was resting her head on his shoulder.
"I love it. "She sighed in happiness. "Our baby girl is going to be so happy here."
"Aye, that she is. She's already so loved."
She briefly looked at him, knowing all too well what he meant behind these words. Their baby girl wouldn't know anything of the pain, the misery, the fear they had both lived in their childhood. She would only know love and laughter and cuddles, and would never feel unwanted or worthless. Together, they were creating a safe home, the home she'd dreamed of for her entire life, and she wouldn't have wanted this with anyone else than this man holding her in his arms right now. This kind, wonderful, loving man she had the chance of calling her husband.
They stayed for a long time in their daughter's room that day, just contemplating their future and all the happiness coming with it.
"God damn it." Emma muttered, rolling on her side yet another time right before kicking off the blankets that were covering her. "God fucking damn it, Leia Hope Swan-Jones. Can't you let me sleep?"
This little dance was lasting for a few minutes already. It was a miracle that she hadn't awaken Killian yet. For the first couple of hours, she'd been able to hold her frustration back. But now, she felt exhausted and uncomfortable, and her daughter was kicking her in the ribs and she just wanted to scream. Damn insomnia. Damn her daughter's love for kicking her. Damn her huge bump that was preventing her from taking a comfortable position. Damn everything.
She huffed and sat down on the bed. She was too hot with the blankets on, but too cold without them. She leaned against the headboard, placing both her hands on her belly. Her back was killing her and her ankles felt more swollen than ever. Only a few weeks left, she thought to try and calm herself down, closing her eyes. It'll be over soon.
She didn't remember feeling so uncomfortably huge when she was pregnant with Henry. Yet again, she had tried to deny this pregnancy for a long time, had survived on jail food, and her 17-year-old body was suffering less than she was now. She felt the size of a damn elephant ans just couldn't wait to give birth to her daughter, now.
"Swan?"
Killian's voice startled her, and she turned her head with a sigh. She was obviously in a bad mood, but she was feeling guilty for waking him up. He had nothing to do with this and was suffering with her. So she put her anger aside to answer softly :
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."
In the dark, she could see his dark figure, and hear at his raspy voice that he was still half-asleep. He leaned to turn on the bedside lamp, softly enlightening their bed. Placing his hand on her leg, he asked, not seeming angry or frustrated to have been woken up. This man was too perfect for his own good.
"You're having trouble sleeping again, love?"
"Your daughter loves to kick my ribs." She answered, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, so she's my daughter now?" He chuckled, not looking disrupted by her sharp tone. "Hey there, little love." He continued, leaning to press a kiss on her stomach. "Can you let your mommy sleep, please? We would appreciate it."
The little kicks immediately stopped and Emma rolled her eyes. His talent of calming their baby was infuriating. Their little girl was already sassing her mom while she was kindly listening to her father. This said a lot about how their lives was going to be with little Leia around.
"Thank you, duckling." He said, stroking her bump. "Feeling better, love?" He continued, looking back up at her.
"Not really." She sighed, knowing that she was being a bit bitchy but she was feeling hormonal and exhausted and frustrated, and she just needed to talk to someone. "I feel huge. We have one month left and I'm going to be the size of this freaking house soon enough. And my back is aching and my ankles are swollen and I can't even walk up stairs with panting like crazy afterwards. This pregnancy is going to drive me insane."
"Oh, darling, I'm so sorry." he said softly, and her anger faded away as her heart melted at how adorable he always was with her. "I wish I could bear a bit of your discomfort. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want a massage? Would that help?"
"It's three in the morning, Killian." She said gently, feeling already so much better.
"It doesn't matter. If you can't sleep, I'm not sleeping either. We're in this together, remember?"
"God." She sighed, feeling tears in her eyes at his thoughtfulness. "I'm horrible to you, and you still manage to be perfect. What did I ever do to deserve you?"
"You're far from being horrible, lass." He said, taking her hand to his lips to press a little kiss on her knuckle. "You're just exhausted. And the real question is, what did I ever do to deserve someone like you. You're prefect in every way and you make my life so much brighter. I love you, a little bit more every day my love."
"I love you too." She answered, finally smiling.
"It's good to hear." He said, making her chuckle lightly. "Now for this back rub, shall we?"
He gently made her move so he could sit behind her on the bed, and started his gentle strokes over her neck, making her moan in pleasure. She'd received enough of these little marvels already to know how good he was with his remaining hand, and he would always manage to make her feel better.
He gradually got lower and lower on her back, then started dropping little kisses on the back of her neck while still massaging her painful muscles. As his touch was becoming more demanding and he was gently nibbling at her ear, she said, panting a bit and her eyes closed :
"How can you still find me attractive like I am now?"
Her words, that she'd pronounced with her mind blurred by what he was making her feel, made him stop. She turned her head to look at him, surprised, and saw him looking at her with a frown. Not understanding why he was staring at her like that, she said, shaking her head :
"What?"
"Emma." He said seriously, his hand finding its way to her hair. "I will always want you. Why wouldn't I find you attractive anymore?"
"Because I'm the size of a goddamn country." She answered with a shrug.
"Love, you're growing our baby girl. You're already breathtaking usually, you're the most beautiful angel I've ever seen, but seeing you carrying our child is the most gorgeous thing I've ever witnessed. I'm sorry that you thought, even for a second, that I wouldn't want you anymore. You're so beautiful. And I love you."
She didn't know what to answer to that. The sincerity she read in his words was enough to make her feel all better. He was so perfect and caring, she knew he was going to be that way with their daughter too, and she just couldn't wait. She couldn't wait to raise this baby with the love of her life.
"Now, if you allow me, I'd like to show you just how gorgeous you are." He then said, making her lay down on her back.
As he was finding her mouth, and as his fingers were playing with the strip pf her panties, she actually felt attractive and wanted. And it made her forget about everything except the happiness she was living in this wonderful man's arms.
"Pick up, Killian, come on, pick up!"
Emma was slightly panicking. Slightly was an understatement. The hand that was holding her phone was shaking, and she was pacing back and forth in the living room, although she knew all too well she should have sat down. But her anxiety was too high, and she just needed her husband to pick up the damn cellphone right now.
He'd gone away a little bit earlier to go fetch some crackers and ice cream for her at the grocery store. She'd felt bad all day, barely able to stand up from the couch, and he'd taken such good care of her. He'd kissed her forehead, asking softly :
"Can I do something to help you, my love? Anything, I'll do it."
She'd offered him a weak smile. She was feeling so exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Eating something wasn't a really pleasant idea, given the fact she really wanted to throw up. But she knew she had to at least try and eat something, for the baby, so she'd said in a low voice :
"Ice cream and crackers would be great. Maybe they'll help with these damn sicknesses."
"I don't think we have anymore of these here, but I'll go get them for you. It'll only take me a couple of minutes. And if it helps you feel better, it's the least I can do."
"Thank you, babe." She'd said, her eyes closing on their own.
"I'm sorry the little one is giving you so much troubles, darling." He'd stated, kneeling to face her.
"It's okay. I just can't wait for her to finally be here."
"Only two weeks left." He'd answered with another smile, his hand resting on her bump. "Then we'll finally be able to meet the little love. You're so brave, my Swan. I'll be right back."
And then, with a kiss on the tip of her nose and one last smile, he was gone.
Except that Emma hadn't expected for her wish to actually become true. "I just can't wait for her to be here", she'd said. Karma was a bitch. And now her waters had broken and her husband was not picking up the damn phone, while their baby was coming, right now.
She was about to start screaming in frustration when she finally heard Killian's voice in her ear. She sighed in relief, finally allowing herself to stop walking. She placed a hand on her stomach, taking a deep breath :
"Hey, love. Is everything all right? I'm coming right back. I found your favorite ice cream."
"Killian." She started, but he guessed right away that something was off with her.
"Emma? What's wrong?" His tone had turned worried and she just wanted him to be there with her.
"My waters broke."
She could hear him gasp loudly, and he started talking right away, saying in a voice broken by the anxiety "Bloody hell, Emma, I'm so sorry I wasn't there. Are you okay?"
"I am. The baby shouldn't be here for another..."
She wanted to comfort him but her first contraction suddenly made her bend in pain, and she whimpered into the phone, hand grabbing the wall for balance. The pain lasted for barely a few seconds before disappearing as fast as it had come, and her husband's voice finally rang to her ear again :
"Swan? Emma? Darling, answer me!"
"I'm fine." She panted, trying to reassure him. "I just had my first contraction"
"Dear god." He groaned, sounding absolutely distraught. "All right, do you want me to call an ambulance?"
"All I want is for you to be there right now." She said in a broken voice, because she just needed his comforting arms in order not to panic.
She'd been prepared for this moment for months, obviously, and she was more than ready to have this baby. But last time she'd done this, she was all alone, she'd had to give up her own little boy, and being the only one in the house right now was scaring her to death. She needed her husband to be there, to hold her and whisper to her ear that he was here, by her side, always.
She heard him sigh into the phone, as if he were about to cry : "I know, my love. I'll be there in a few minutes, I promise. Everything is going to be okay. Are you sitting down?"
"No, but maybe I should." She said, settling on the sofa to try and not make too many efforts. "Could you.. stay with me on the phone while you're coming back here? I don't wanna be alone."
"Oh, Swan, of course I can." He said gently. "I'm almost there, I promise."
He hadn't lied. She had to go through one more contraction with him on the phone, but he was home in barely a few minutes. She hung up and threw her cellphone on the couch as she was hearing him coming in, and he ran to her, kneeling in front of her and placing hand and hook on her hips. The concern she read in his features made her want to kiss him, despite her own pain, just to make him feel better.
"How are you feeling?"
"More than ready to have this baby now that you're here." She said, briefly wrapping her arms around him to hold him close.
"We're going to have this little princess, and you're going to be the most wonderful mother."
"I'm just glad you're with me." She whispered, feeling completely reassured now. As longs as they were together, they could do anything.
"Always, my love. Now let's get you to the hospital, shall we?"
The hours spent at the hospital had been absolutely exhausting. She was feeling like she was going to turn insane after eight long hours of pain, but Killian was helping her so much, bringing her water, rubbing her back to comfort her, holding her hand despite his own sadness of seeing her aching so much.
By the time they told her she was going to finally have this baby, she thought she was more than ready. It was until she arrived in the cold delivery room. Once there, she suddenly felt completely, utterly filled with dread. She'd waited for this child for so long, but how was she actually going to be a mother? She'd never done that before. What if she was terrible? What if, instead of giving her baby girl the love and happiness she deserved, she made her suffer without even realizing it?
"Killian, I… I can't do this" She panted as they were getting her ready to finally take the last step in this long, exhausting process.
"Oh, love, of course you can." He said, his hand through her hair and his lips pressing against her sweaty forehead. "You can do anything."
"What if you're wrong? What if I'm unable to raise this child?"
"Emma, darling, you're going to be perfect" He said with so much confidence that for a second, she forgot about her doubts and believed him. "You already are. You already love our little duckling so much. You don't need to be scared. I'm telling you this again, and I'll keep telling it until you believe me for good : You're prefect in every way, and we're going to do this together. I'll be with you every step of the way. You'll never be alone anymore, I promise you."
That's all she needed to hear. His comforting words and soothing voice made her nod in agreement, and he pressed another kiss to her forehead. Then, the doctor and nurses gathered around her suddenly encouraged her to push. She was exhausted and in pain, but Killian's hand in her was giving her the strength to keep going. And so she obeyed.
The first cry of her baby girl was a sound she was sure she'd never forget. Everything was blurred ans spinning, but as soon as she heard her baby's voice and they put her little body in her arms, she forgot about everything. Nothing existed anymore, not her pain, her exhaustion, her fear. Just this perfect little being looking at her with her big eyes, staring at her face, and the pure love she was feeling for her
"Welcome home, Leia." She said, placing a little kiss to the top of her baby's head.
"She's absolutely perfect, Emma." Killian said, leaning over her shoulder to look at the product of their true love, at this little baby that they already adored so much.
She turned and pressed a kiss to his lips, holding their baby close to her chest. She was the happiest she'd ever been. Because she'd found her home, finally, her happy ending, and she damn well intended to enjoy it with the people she loved by her side.
"Thank you for giving me a family." Killian whispered against her lips. "I love you so much."
And in that moment, she swore she finally completely understood what the term Home meant.
Leia Hope Swan-Jones arrived in their lives, and with her, an utter, complete happiness embraced them. She was such a wonderful little girl, always smiling or laughing, always caring about those around her, curious about everything. Stubborn as her mother, as Killian liked to remind her. And she loved the sea just like her father. The entire town was absolutely in love with her.
She'd inherited Killian's blue eyes and Emma's blond hair. She had dimples in her cheeks and little elf ears that were making her look even more adorable. She was a daddy's girl, too. Always searching for Killian's cuddles and admiring him with all that she had. But she was as close to Emma, she loved their moments, just the two of them, curled up in her little bed and listening to her mom telling her a story. It wasn't unusual for her to sneak into her parents' bed to wake them up with little kisses and giggles, and while Emma had never been a morning person, these little moments were her favorite time of the day.
The only thing missing to their utter happiness was Henry. They missed him, they wished he would know his little sister. They would tell her about him all the time, wishing for her to know all about her wonderful brother. "When is Henry coming home, mommy?" She would ask, and Emma's heart would break a little bit every time.
But then, years after their last meeting, as Leia was five and they were least expecting it, her son came back to Storybrooke.
It was a sunny afternoon. Emma and Killian were under the porch, cuddling on their chairs. He was holding her close and dropping kisses to her forehead, the years that had passed only reinforcing their love for each other. She could have sworn she loved this man a little bit more every day. And they'd just taken a decision that was going to brighten their lives even more : the same week-end, they would finally go and visit some group homes, not that far from Storybrooke.
They were ready to welcome another child into their family, a lost child, just like they'd once been, that they could love and protect and teach how to trust again. They'd decided that they were going to adopt an older child, one who thought that they'd missed their chance. Leia was thrilled to have another big brother or sister, and they just couldn't wait to expand their family.
They were watching Leia, playing in the backyard to make sure she wasn't getting into any trouble, wrapped in each other's arms. The little girl was trying to climb up a tree in their yard when the big sound happened, making them all startle.
Emma and Killian immediately jumped on their feet, ready for a fight. If Storybrooke had been quiet for the past few years, it was never impossible for something to happen in this damn town. Emma looked at Leia and called, trying to make her voice sound calming while she was actually frightened to death of something coming to break their happiness :
"Leia, baby, can you come here?"
Her little girl wasn't long to obey, standing before her with her big blue eyes and asking in worry : "What's wrong, mama? What was that big noise?"
"Nothing to be afraid of, duckling." Killian answered, taking her in his arms. "You'll always be safe with us."
It was then that Emma noticed the figure approaching them, the sunshine wrapping the tall man there, as if it were all a dream. Emma didn't need another second to realize who was standing there before her, and she gasped in surprise :
"Kid?"
She was holding him against her in less than a few instants. God, how tall he was, now, even taller than in her memories. She didn't ask him what he was doing there or why he had come back, she didn't ask him anything at first, she just held him against her and whispered in his ear :
"I missed you, kid."
"I missed you too, mom." he answered in this deep voice, sounding so different from the kid that had once come to take her home while she was miserable and lonely.
"We have to introduce you to someone." She then said, finally letting go of him to turn and allow Killian to hug her son as well.
Her husband had put Leia back on the floor when he'd realized there wasn't any danger, and the little girl came to wrap her arms around her mom's legs. Emma smiled down at her and lifted her up as her daughter was asking somewhat shyly :
"Who's that, mommy?"
"That, princess, is your big brother."
The entire town probably heard Leia's cry of joy. She immediately threw herself into Henry's arms and said with a big smile, her little arms wrapped around the grown man's neck.
"Mommy and Daddy told me so much about you! They said you're a hero!"
"I don't know about that, kiddo" Henry answered with a welcoming smile.
Emma smiled at the nickname he just gave his little sister, knowing all too well he took that from her. "Of course you are." She then countered. "We all know it."
He just grinned at that, and said, gently tickling Leia's side and making her giggle. "I'm so glad to finally meet you."
After managing to hold her tears back, because seeing her kid again was making her so happy she was feeling like crying, they all went inside to discuss what had happened to her son during all those years. As he told her about his adventures and love story, she just felt this overwhelming sense of wholeness. During all those years, only one thing had missed to her happiness, and it was her son's presence. Now, she could finally be completely and utterly happy.
Emma watched her two kids eating and talking at her kitchen table with tears in her eyes, knowing that soon enough they'd be three. She smiled at her husband, who was still looking at her with such adoration after all these years. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, and she felt what she'd been looking for, for so long.
She felt home, she felt like she belonged. And it was the most wonderful thing she'd ever experienced.