I'm not sure how or why, but I was possessed to write this story tonight. It wasn't long before I had 3,500 words completed. I'm still rather surprised at myself. It's...unreal. It's another story on Aaeru's background, and this is the story I think many of you have wanted to see dealing with her. It's dedicated to my friend Dye, who first talked to me about the idea. Props also go to my friend judamacaby, who also discussed it with me. This story could easily become a longshot, but I don't think that's happening any time soon. Enjoy!
It was all too familiar to her, though she hid it well. The smell of war, of carnage. At least this time she could not smell the blood of bodies decaying around her. The protection of the glass dome in front of her at least gave her that. She could safely watch as craft after craft fell from the sky, either by her hands or her comrades. She did not think; she merely reacted to the battle around her. The sky was full of the sounds of battle. She smirked, her trademark grin covering her face, knowing that this time she was capable of preventing those who would try to kill her. She didn't have to shy away or run to safety with other refugees that didn't care for her. She didn't have to run anymore.
Her fellow Sibyllae fought alongside her, but she knew that they had not survived through what she had. She knew that they weren't like her. They had grown up wealthy and privileged, raised to be priestesses. They were torn between what was right by the government and what was right by Tempus Spatium. It was a choice that many of them came to grip with daily, suffering more and more each day as they were forced to continue fighting. They were unable to decide and come to a firm decision. She, on the other hand, knew what she wanted. War had stood in her way before, and it did so now. This time, she was able to push forward, regardless. She had a goal in mind, and not even the Argentum soldiers were going to stop her. She maneuvered to the left, and set up for another Ri Majon.
The young child looked up at the sky, her bright green eyes fixated. The sun would be setting soon, and then the millions of tiny lights would bespeckle the sky. They were stars, she'd been told by one of the older girls. She'd also been told they were for making wishes on. It was then that the girl had laughed, a laugh that was full of disbelief. She had tasseled the child's matted and dirty hair, and told her not to worry about making wishes on stars. Wishes never came true. Otherwise, they wouldn't be living like this.
Living like this entailed living on the run. For some time now, the child had been with this group of people, staying with them. They weren't her mommy or daddy; she couldn't remember what they looked like. Someone had once told her they died and been killed by the enemy. Sometimes, if she squeezed her eyes shut, she could picture green eyes like hers, and a smile that made her feel warm inside. She couldn't remember what had happened before she went with this group. It all ran together in her mind.
No one took her in as their child. She was an orphan, and nothing more. Her mind didn't grasp the true meaning of the word, but she knew it meant she was alone. She was fed and watched, but that was it. At night, she pulled whatever she could close to her to act as a blanket. More recently she'd found a tattered one as they'd passed through a village that had been decimated. It was by her side now. She was too afraid that someone else might take it.
Her group traveled by day, seeking a safe haven that was never found. She walked with them, slow and steady. They'd stop to camp at night, gathering together what food they could from the land and any animals the men could trap. She knew that if there were berry bushes around that it was her job to help the other little girls pick whatever they could. She looked down at her hands, stained from the previous night's foray. Dark pink splotches covered her hands and fingers, and part of her arms. At night, everyone slept close together, and some of the men kept watch. She slept alone, trying to fall asleep quickly. If she could, then she wouldn't have to see the other children pulled close against their mothers. She wanted to be held too.
"Aaeru!" called a girl's voice.
Aaeru turned around, finding it was the same girl who told her not to wish on stars. She looked at her, not answering. Her hand clamped tighter around her blanket.
"Aaeru, if you don't come now, you won't get your dinner. You can either eat or starve."
To not eat for a night meant one step closer to falling behind. She'd watched it happen to someone else. They had stopped eating too and slowly, they fell behind. Then one day, they were simply gone. No one had spoken of that young man again. She nodded, and dragged her blanket alongside her.
It was later that night, and everyone was asleep. She tossed and turned on her little patch of dirt. Her blanket was haphazardly covering her body. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes. She was sleepy, but couldn't stay asleep. She tried hard to avoid looking at the other children. A pang in her chest began to start, and she placed her hand over her heart. Why did it hurt so much to see that? Wordlessly, she stood up. It wasn't hard to tiptoe around everyone else quietly. She avoided the men by going around the other way.
Her footsteps led her back to the same spot she had been in earlier that evening. She once again looked to the sky, mesmerized by all the tiny lights. The stars made her feel better inside, and they stopped the pang in her chest. She wondered what was out there, and if it could save her from this. She didn't know what she wanted, but it wasn't this. This wasn't something that she could take for much longer. "I want this to stop," she whispered. "Can you make it stop, star?" Her eyes locked on to one star in particular that seemed brighter than all of the others around it. "Can you make my heart stop hurting, star?"
For some reason, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. The tears spilled over, and she cried softly. Chubby fingers wiped at her eyes, smearing the dried dirt on her face. She stood looking to the sky and cried until no more tears fell. She felt empty inside as she clenched her blanket closer to her chest. As she turned to head back to the group, she looked to the star once more. She hoped desperately that it could make her wish true, no matter what anyone else said.
Time had passed, and she wasn't sure how much. What she did know was that she found herself kept locked away in a dark, damp place. She couldn't remember much of how she had gotten to this particular place. She remembered soldiers finding them, and then she had woken up here. She hadn't been able to recognize anyone else. She didn't know what had happened to them at all. She had her blanket still, and now it served a different purpose.
The blanket had always been her security, but now it hid her from everything else that went on around her. She kept it pulled over her head, keeping away from the men that came, and the men and women that were in the place with her. Mostly they were quiet, and kept to themselves. They had spoken to her when she had first woken up.
"You'll die here," stated a man bluntly. "You're just a child. Children die. We'll all die." He had reached out for her, dirty fingers reaching for her hair. She could see the dried blood on them, and had scooted back as far as she could; the stone wall serving as a painful reminder that she had limits as to where she could go.
She didn't want to die. She wanted out. Her star still hadn't granted her wish. She didn't know how she would know it did, but she knew it would happen. It had to. The older girl couldn't have been right about the stars not working. The stars made her feel good inside, and she couldn't explain it right. It felt just like her blanket though, when she saw them.
As it was now, she barely got a glimpse of the stars at night. The tiny slats that served as a window hid much of the sky, and the light from outside made the stars dimmer. She struggled to find her star, but she could not find the one that was so big and so bright. Still, she wished on the stars she did see. Perhaps they would tell her star the wish for her. Her fingers trembled as she softly stated her wish, pulling the blanket tighter to her. She did not get that same good feeling as before. She wondered why.
Every day was the same routine. The days continued to blur together, separated only by bits of excitement. Dull eyes glanced up as someone new was tossed into the cell. It did not bother her who it was; they were of no use to her. They were not the answer to her wish. She continued to watch as the newcomer slowly rose up, calling out. He shouted, speaking in a language unfamiliar to her. She heard the pounding of boots outside, and then saw the barrel of the gun pass through the bars. The sound of the bullet, and the stench that soon followed forced her to lower her head and cover her ears. She didn't want to see it, not again.
For days, the man was left there, until someone decided to drag his rotting corpse away. She saw the trails of dried blood that had rested beneath his body, and the trails of white things left behind. She felt like her stomach wanted to come out of her mouth, but she forced herself not to look or think of it any longer. She let herself drift away into sleep. The darkness welcomed her once more.
It was the shots that woke her first. She stirred and instinctively pulled the blanket around her face, leaving only the smallest hole to peep out of. There was shouting, and the smell of gun smoke was heavy. She covered her ears once more, trying to escape, but there was so much noise, too much noise.
The clanging and shouting came closer, until she spotted a new person outside of the cell. He did not look like the ones that usually walked past or gave them scraps of food. By now, the shouting and firing had ceased. She watched as he unlocked the cell, and stepped inside. She hid as far in her blanket as she could, trying to stay away. She didn't want to be taken somewhere new and have this continue.
He turned to leave, apparently not finding what he came for. She breathed a sigh of relief and released her tight grip on the blanket. However, the man heard the sound and quickly turned. She had no time to hide herself again. She shook with fear as he stepped closer. She could see the gun he wore strapped across his chest. Would she die too, just like everyone else had? She closed her eyes tightly, gripping the blanket.
She was surprised when he picked her up, and pulled her close to him. She wasn't sure what he was doing; she'd never had this happen before, not that she could remember. It was then that the memory of the green eyes like hers and the smile returned to her mind. Yes, she had had this before.
"It's okay… you're safe now. No one else is going to hurt you…" he'd whispered soothingly in a gruff voice.
Something inside of her broke, and the tears she'd kept inside spilled over. She sobbed and cried and her fists gripped at the material of his uniform. She felt his large hand rubbing her back, and this only made her cry worse. She didn't even realize that while she cried, he'd taken her away from the place she'd been for so long.
The man who'd saved her life had become her grandpa, and with some help, she'd grown up a happy child. He'd cared for her and told her stories, and at some point, she'd realized that her star had given her her wish. There wasn't any more running. No more sleeping outside. No more dark, damp cell. Grandpa took care of her, and he gave her another wish too- the nights she couldn't sleep, the nights the dreams kept her awake, he'd hold her close and rock her until she fell back asleep.
She learned to love the sky as much as he did. He enjoyed the stars, and then told her stories of the sky and another world. It didn't all make sense to her, but it captured her attention. He felt that there was another world out there, where people just like her lived. He didn't know how to find that world, but he was certain that someone could. His dream was unknowingly passed on to her. She felt that she could find that world, somehow.
Years had passed and she had grown up. Her grandpa began to get older, and she didn't realize it until the day he collapsed in the field. She had been tending to the tomatoes and heard him weakly calling her name. She had rushed to his side, and when she saw the frail look in his eyes, she realized that perhaps he might not live forever. He had not been a young man when he'd found her, but had been older than most of the men in his group. He had joined them because he believed that it was his duty.
When her grandpa had finally passed away, she didn't know how to react. Most days were automatic for her. She tended to the crops and took care of the house. She sold the extra harvest in the market, making some spare cash that would see her through the off-season. She learned how to can and save vegetables for later. It was not a happy existence, but she was busy and that was what mattered to her.
It was only at night when she found that she couldn't keep busy. She had to rest at some point, and the nightmares found her again. She dreamed of those times and she dreamed of her grandpa. She relived many points in her young life. When she woke from the nightmares this time, there was no one to hold her. She was alone, so utterly alone. All she had to keep her company was the music box he'd left to her in his passing. That, and the Simile in the wooden building.
She knew how to fly the Simile. Her grandpa had shown her how, but she hadn't been able to fly it on her own. He had forbidden her until she was old enough. So there it sat, and sometimes, late at night, she'd unlock the doors and slip inside the cockpit. The controls felt right beneath her fingers. She maneuvered them deftly, wanting to take the craft outside. There was no one to stop her, but she held back. Something didn't feel right about taking it out just yet.
News of war soon came to her village, and it wasn't long before the sights of war were visible. She was left feeling as though there was nothing she could do once again, and this angered her. She wanted to fight, wanted to take up her grandpa's old rifle and show that she wouldn't just let things happen. She wasn't a child any longer, but nearly an adult. Actually, she was an adult. She'd just chosen not to visit the Spring yet. She had wanted to hold off until she could find a way to achieve her dream, their dream.
Though the fighting had begun, she tried to continue on as usual. It wasn't until a few days later that she was in the market, trying to sell off some of the last of her excess crop. She overheard two passersby discussing the war. They appeared in serious conversation as they browsed the stall next to hers. She pretended to restock some beans while listening to them speak.
"This war isn't going to last too much longer, is it?" the one female asked of her companion.
"I hope not. Surely the Sibyllae will take care of them all."
"Did you know that they are calling for volunteers to fight now? Surely they wouldn't take just any girl under 17."
"I wonder if it's really that bad. Do we need some of these?" asked the woman, switching topics.
Her mind worked quickly. She could volunteer. She knew very little of the Sibyllae, save for they flew Simoun, which she'd never seen, and that they were priestesses. She had heard of them fighting, but the volunteering information was completely new.
"Excuse me," she called. "Where do you go if you want to volunteer?"
The two women looked at her in surprise, but pointed her in the direction of the temple. The temple was a place she'd never been before. Her grandpa had never taken her, and so she had never gone. She walked up to the first person in sight- a girl her age, and stated that she wanted to volunteer.
After that, things had happened quickly. She'd met a woman that was called the Dux. Again, she told her that she wanted to volunteer. Expecting opposition, she was surprised when the Dux took her inside and began testing her. There was a written test on Simoun and Tempus Spatium, and the regulations of being a priestess. She failed it miserably. She had no clue about any of those things. The Dux had not looked too happy about her scores, and she wondered if perhaps she wouldn't be allowed to volunteer now at all. The test wasn't something she had expected.
And then had come the simulation tests. She was placed into a Simile and told to demonstrate her skills against the same girl she'd first met. The girl also flew in a Simile. Together they both took to the sky. Something inside her clicked, and she began dodging and whirling around the more experienced girl, flying ever higher. Her heart beat quickly in her chest and she was driven to dodge and maneuver. Finally, she felt something clang against the side of the Simile. "We're finished now," came the voice. "You can land."
In the end, it had been her skills in flight that had secured her position as a Sibyllae. She was given instructions to report to the Arcus Prima by the next afternoon, followed by directions. She was to join the top Chor in all the land to help replenish the girls they had lost in the most recent encounter. "Your skills are far superior to any first time cadet I've ever seen. Though you do not know much about Sibyllae and what they stand for, you'll do well in a time of war. Dux Guragief will be glad to have you aboard."
She had taken to the sky like she was born to be there. Flying her Grandpa's Simile on her own was everything she had wanted. She knew that joining the Sibyllae would let her go further. Now she didn't have to worry about choosing her gender or following her dream. Sibyllae were exempt from choosing while the war raged on. Of course, she could quit at any time and make that choice, but she wasn't going to do that. She knew what she wanted to do.
Her fellow Sibyllae had not taken to her well, but she didn't mind. She knew what she wanted and she had come to fight. She'd be damned if the others would keep her from doing that. They might struggle with their own decisions and choices, but she did not. The calls to sortie fueled her adrenaline and made her eager to get in the sky. She would be the best and fly with the best. She wouldn't be on the sidelines any longer.
Thus, she had ended up fighting like this, in this battle. She was able to simultaneously fight back and work to achieve her grandpa's dream. Though she did not know how to explain it, she felt that being a Sibyllae was part of the key to achieving that dream. She fired off another around as she turned and retreated a bit, putting space between the Simoun and the other craft. She turned sharply, setting her pair up for a Ri Majon. Night would fall eventually, after all the dust had settled. She would be in her bed, looking toward the window. And there would be her star, the one she still wished upon.